I'll Wait

"Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls -- yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will joy in the God of my salvation." ~~ Habakkuk 3:17-18

I'd awakened a few minutes early, reviewed my weekly Bible study "homework", and gotten out everything I'd need to get Mom breakfast and rush off to study later that morning. I couldn't wait to see my sisters and pray with them. About 6 AM, something strange began to happen -- dizziness, nausea. "I'll wait. Probably just sinuses." By 8 AM, I felt worse. I slowly, carefully took the back roads home and texted our pastor's wife: "I won't be at study today..."

This past month has been -- for lack of a better description -- emotionally draining. A dear sister from church fell ill and passed; her love for life, her spunk and wit, and her gentle laugh are, and will forever be, matchless. Several of my friends and acquaintances have lost parents and siblings in these last couple of weeks -- suicide, dementia, cancer; I can't imagine the depth of their pain, but I ache for them. We received some heart-breaking news about some family members a few days back -- news so devastating, I have locked myself in my "bubble" and I am still trying to process it. Our neighbors were forced to euthanize their sweet poodle, Tootsie, this week; Tootsie and Bishop had lived next door to one another and played together for over ten years. Of course, I still grieve my four-legged friend from time to time. And now, sickness.

I've gotta be honest with you, my attitude stinks. I'm not throwing in the towel; I haven't turned my back on God, or developed a bent toward any other harmful cliches; but I'm definitely thinking "remote mountain cabin" for a few days. I am just not in "I-will-rejoice-in-the-Lord" mode yet; but then again, neither was the prophet, Habakkuk -- at first. It took some wrestling, and honesty, and waiting. Habakkuk spoke to God candidly, and said, "Here's what I see, and I don't like it; here's what's going on, and I don't understand why You allow it. I'll wait." And God answered! Habakkuk's sense of justice and morality were right, but Habakkuk didn't have the whole picture. God was doing something, and like ground that must be dug up before healthy grass can grow, or a wound that must be opened and irrigated before it can be closed up, it was going to look worse before it got better. Habakkuk purposed in his heart to trust and rejoice.

As I said, I am still processing some elements of this struggle; but once the numbness wears off, and I can put words to some of the things I am feeling, I will speak very specifically and openly to my Father in Heaven. And I'll wait; and re-hear, repeat and receive those words: though this and that, though those and these, though today and tomorrow -- do not turn out as I presuppose, I will rejoice.

"The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer's feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills." ~~ Habakkuk 3:19

 

Make a Difference in Someone's Life

It's strange the things that move us. Things that require so little effort, or seem to be second nature to those who do them for us. For instance, there are two moments in my life when I felt love from others like I'd never known. The first, was the last day before maternity leave when I was expecting my son. I was loading and unloading aircraft, leading a crew of men the likes of which I've never had the pleasure of leading again. They were blue collar; most were opinionated; they had their differences, but they worked each day as one. And they could keep a secret. These burly, sometimes surly, men threw me a baby shower! It was unbelievable! Watching these men step out of their comfort zone for me was more than touching. Knowing the planning and effort they put into pleasing me, testified they were doing it out of love, and goes only to their credit. They showered me with love that day; the gifts were appreciated, but completely peripheral.

The second occasion was after the birth of my daughter. I had a preschooler, a newborn in the NICU, an extra fifty pounds of baby weight, a new house, a new car, and a restless husband. My neighbor made me dinner. It was that simple -- to her. To me, it was perfection! She had asked what we liked to eat (I will eat anything silly enough to stand still); she had fussed over each element, getting things just right. I can't remember the vegetable for certain -- green beans, maybe; but there was salad and chicken in pastry and some sort of dessert. Everything was packaged neatly for reheating, if necessary (she'd been trying to time it so I didn't even have to do that!), and included plastic ware, paper plates and napkins. It was a beautiful sight; I still see it. And, once again, a gift fashioned in love. (Years later, this wonderful friend would come to my house at 2 AM and stay with my children until I got home from work! That's love.)

I will never forget either of these kindnesses; and the feelings evoked years ago well up afresh when I think of them today. I learned love can come when you need it most, when you least expect it, from the most unlikely sources, or from those who have been there all along; regardless the how and the where, love changes people. Love doesn't always require everything you've got; sometimes love is as easy as helping a sore, lonely someone carry their groceries. Or texting, "Have a great day." Or packing someone's lunch. Or giving someone a big wave from across the parking lot. Or holding someone while they cry. But, until you actually do it, until you put a tiny piece of yourself out there -- just for a second -- you will never know how you can impact a life.

Perfect Participation

When I entered management almost thirty years ago, my employer placed tremendous emphasis on training its front line supervisors. The principles taught us in those classes helped us run our areas and develop successful business relationships. One such principle remains with me still -- the 80/20 principle: "80% of your challenges come from 20% of your people." If I wanted my operation to be 100% successful, I had to reach that small percentage of employees who remained unmotivated or disgruntled, untrained or incapable. I aspired to do just that.

I often look at the body of Christ and think of the 80/20 principle. Sadly, it seems 80% of outreach, 80% of stewardship, 80% of engagement appears to be the result of the commitment of only 20% of its members. Not being a pastor, and having limited experience, I wasn't sure if my assessment was accurate and, if so, widespread. Well, google "80/20 rule sermons" and you'll find over 31,000 entries. In some cases, the principle (known as Pareto's principle) is applied a little differently, but it appears many groups of believers struggle with engaging all of its members in some area of service and/or support.

So, what is the solution? With so many queries and suggestions out there, I'm not sure I have anything to add; but going back again to something I learned from my employer, maybe I can provide some insight. There are three fundamental reasons people change; if you can appeal to folks' devotion to any one of those, presumably you can effect change.

• People change for the benefit of the "organization." Perhaps people can be motivated to involvement because of their love for Jesus. One pastor says, "[T]he biggest sin in our church is you sitting there doing nothing and still calling yourself a follower of Jesus." Ouch! But, if love for Jesus isn't motivating people to serve Him with all they've got, their relationship might begin to resemble the church of Laodicea.
• People change for the benefit of others. Whether it is to impress, outdo, help, please or simply be close to others, people will add their names to sign-up sheets for the sake of those around them. And that's not entirely crazy; we were made for community. If we appeal to those with a strong desire for personal relationships, they may follow or lead others to participate.
• People change for their own benefit. It is counter-intuitive to serve or give and expect to receive; our human nature is "looking out for number one." But Luke 6:38 says, "Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you." If people want to be blessed, they must bless others.

Of course, none of these ideas amount to a hill of beans without prayer. The effective, fervent prayer of the righteous yields much. Judging by what I and others are seeing and hearing, our congregations could use plenty of prayer to get a perfect score.

Friday's Narrative: A Change of Heart

I awoke five minutes before the alarm was set to rouse me. "Five minutes? Really? I just wanna sleep," I whined. At 2:45 AM, I was trucking the quarter-mile or so into a job I cannot wait to leave behind at an hour I cannot wait to remain sleeping! I was barely in the door before the guy I relieve was passing the torch. "Your shift's not over yet, Dude," I thought. Then the phone rang -- and didn't stop until minutes after my shift was over. "So much for getting out early." As I rushed to pick Olivia up I tried texting her, but my phone wouldn't connect. "Will anything go right today?" I rushed home to dress Mom and get her some breakfast so I could walk Tinkerbell before it got too hot. I fixed a water bottle for our journey -- which I left at home. Back to the house, the sun rising higher in the sky with every wasted minute. Trash littered the streets of our neighborhood. "Doesn't anyone see those trash cans?" A dozen chatty neighbors along the way made it obvious I wasn't going to get any real exercise. Back at home, chores awaited. "I should have just stayed home and tackled my list instead of wasting my time on that," I thought. "I need a blessing!"

Not long ago, that's how my "Friday narrative" would have read. In fact, it would have been much more bleak. All I could see were the blessings other people received and the hardships I endured. What changed? A friend called and wanted to share some good news with me. She bragged and bragged -- on God!! -- as she should. He was doing some amazing things in her life, and she gave Him all His due. I, on the other hand, was going through a valley, and felt as if God had abandoned me. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart," she quoted. That was it! I almost hung up on her. Now, she didn't know; I didn't share all I'd been going through, but God was giving me hope through her words -- if I would stop feeling sorry for myself and listen. It would be months before I would get my attitude straightened out, but I knew when that call ended I did not want to be that jealous, evil person who can't be happy for someone or rejoice in what God can do.

In the following months things got worse. All I could do was wake up each morning, cry out to God and breathe. Anything more than that was solely at His discretion. If the roof leaked, He'd stop the rain or provide the buckets. If the car wouldn't start, He'd already given me feet or He'd remove my reason to go anywhere. Until then, I purposed in my heart to delight myself in Him.

Today's "Friday narrative" is very different, because of what the Holy Spirit has done in me. Waking up five minutes early gave me extra time in the Scriptures. The walk into work, gives me exercise I need. A busy day ensures my job is necessary, and extra time today means I can scoot out a little early tomorrow. Running late and failing to reach Olivia meant she was ready to go when I arrived and I would have her company to do errands on our way home. Backtracking to get the water we'd left behind put us right on schedule to run into at least one of those neighbors who was leaving to meet some friends; he shared a funny story and put a smile in my heart. Another neighbor, upon noticing Bishop was not with me, comforted me; she gave Olivia some words of wisdom, too. A more leisurely walk with plenty of breaks was probably best for Tinkerbell, and picking up trash gave us an opportunity to do something for our community and burn off additional calories.

So, delight yourself in the Lord, and though He may not change your situation, He will change your heart; and that which you desire -- God's presence and His glory -- will be yours forever!