The Invisible

I was about twelve when my mother broke the news to me that Santa --the one who came around our neighborhood the week before Christmas --would not be bringing me a gift. Of course, I knew he wasn't the real Santa, but it still hurt. The years were passing, my body was changing, but I didn't feel old enough to get dissed by the local Kris Kringle. To make matters worse, a miscommunication days later revealed to me that even the real Santa wasn't real. I'd looked at my dad's unshaved face (not sure what was going on there; typically, he was Brylcreemed and baby-faced) and in response to his whiskers called him "Santa." His response was, "Who told you I was Santa?" Huh? All the innocence of childhood shattered in two prosaic conversations. But I've made it; I've lived quite a long time without Santa or his other imaginary benefactors. And it's been quite some time since childhood. There are those, however, who might claim I'm just as foolish, those who have derogatory names for the One in Whom I do believe. They might say I'm a special kind of stupid to worship The Invisible...

...unless He exists. 

C.S. Lewis famously said, "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." Of course, Lewis wasn't talking about believing that Christianity exists or that real Christians walk the land; he was alluding to the validity of the beliefs and tenets of Christianity as given in the Word of God and walked out by Jesus Christ. Lewis believed in the truth with enough wholeheartedness and passion to pursue The Truth. He allowed it to transform his life and the way in which he saw everything. And that is both the difference between belief in the imaginary and the evidence for the invisible God.

Those days of believing in Santa, his fairy friend and cotton-tailed counterpart were times of imagination; not because their fetes were so incredulous, but because their existence was so manageable. We could send them wish lists, leave them empty vessels to fill with exactly the items we craved, stick useless body parts --okay, teeth under our pillows and be assured of the desired result. Almost. For the greater part of the year, these were unheard of, awaiting summons on some island of imaginary patrons. A month before Christmas, a week or two prior to Easter, and the second our tooth began to wiggle, our parents trotted them out with warnings to be good. As if that would regulate our behavior. Absent their generosity and absent any more baby teeth, they were of no consequence to us whatsoever. They changed nothing. Our deal was done; their obligation was fulfilled, and our fealty fell away. There was no relationship.

Despite the mockery of others, however, I have no need to give argument for belief in Jesus versus belief in Santa Claus. I will instead draw comparison between belief in the gods of this world and belief in such things as comprise the heroes of childish traditions. 

In 1 Samuel 5, we read that the Philistines had captured the Ark of the Covenant upon which the presence of God rested. They took it to the temple of their god, Dagon, hoping to harness its power like some sort of amulet. Instead, the following morning, they found their statue of Dagon face down before the Ark of the Covenant. So, being good little worshipers, they helped their god up, dusted him off, and stood him in his place. The next morning, it was worse! Dagon was face down before the ark, only his face was in one place, still attached to his head, but his body and hands were severed. Did the Philistines break out the glue gun and get to work? I don't know, but I do know that was only the beginning of their troubles. And all for a god who needed the help of men to pick his face out of the dust. The god they worshiped could not talk or walk or think or create or save himself, much less save or judge human beings created in the image of God. Any god unable to stand, any god who can be coerced out of retirement by a tooth, any god who can be manipulated into doing as I desire is no god at all. 

We make spouses our gods, jobs our gods, money our god, status and "LIKEs" and homes and education and food our gods. We can even make our church god. We put these things before everything else because we are getting something from them; they are filling some empty place within us. But when we run out of teeth? When the god is too small for the emptiness or too broken to stand on its own? When we have to keep grinding and giving to feed our god that it might feed us, where is the peace? Or when the god can be tossed out with the candy wrappers or given away like the bike we've outgrown, when we impute our god with worth, what sort of god is that? Or when the god sits silently in our wallets or hangs in an 11x14 frame on our wall as our character and our relationships burn to the ground, how can that be a loving god?

I'm not going to argue the existence of God. He is alive and He is God. But I will encourage you to question those things that have your attention. Can you say your character has been permanently, positively transformed because of them? I will encourage you to evaluate the fillers of your empty. How often must they be fed? I will ask you to inventory the activities, the relationships, the possessions you hold tightly and determine whether they are earthly treasure or eternal treasure. I will urge you to fall on your face before the One True God, and if your gods fall with you, leave them there. By the power and truth of the Invisible, the insufficiency and folly of gods crafted by human design is made visible all year long. 

The Extravagant Suburbanite

Enemies Abound. But Not Where You'd Expect.

So, I don't usually post long passages of Scripture like this, but Summer is coming, prices are soaring, and it's never a bad idea to reconsider the hassle and chaos of a family vacation. (Are they ever really a vacation for those making all the preparations?) The fact is, I can't say it any better than Scripture presents it; and, if you're planning to leave the house at all, there may be some things besides bridge tolls and passports to consider. 

On the twentieth day of the second month of the second year, the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle of the testimony; and the people of Isra’el moved out in stages from the Sinai Desert. The cloud stopped in the Pa’ran Desert.

So they set out on their first journey, in keeping with Adonai’s order through Moshe. In the lead was the banner of the camp of the descendants of Y’hudah, whose companies moved forward; over his company was Nachshon the son of ‘Amminadav. Over the company of the tribe of the descendants of Yissakhar was N’tan’el the son of Tzu‘ar. Over the company of the descendants of Z’vulun was Eli’av the son of Helon.

Then the tabernacle was taken down; and the descendants of Gershon and the descendants of M’rari set out, carrying the tabernacle.

Next, the banner of the camp of Re’uven moved forward by companies; over his company was Elitzur the son of Sh’de’ur. Over the company of the tribe of the descendants of Shim‘on was Shlumi’el the son of Tzurishaddai. Over the company of the descendants of Gad was Elyasaf the son of De‘u’el.

Then the descendants of K’hat set out, carrying the sanctuary, so that [at the next camp] the tabernacle could be set up before they arrived.

The banner of the camp of the descendants of Efrayim moved forward by companies; over his company was Elishama the son of ‘Ammihud. Over the company of the tribe of the descendants of M’nasheh was Gamli’el the son of P’dahtzur. Over the company of the descendants of Binyamin was Avidan the son of Gid‘oni.

The banner of the camp of the descendants of Dan, forming the rearguard for all the camps, moved forward by companies; over his company was Achi‘ezer the son of ‘Ammishaddai. Over the company of the tribe of the descendants of Asher was Pag‘i’el the son of ‘Okhran. Over the company of the descendants of Naftali was Achira the son of ‘Enan.

This is how the people of Isra’el traveled by companies; thus they moved forward. (Numbers 10:11-28 CJB)

Can't you just sense the anticipation, the camaraderie, the structure and security of a well-planned itinerary? Read on:

So they set out from Adonai’s mountain and traveled for three days. Ahead of them on this three-day journey went the ark of Adonai’s covenant, searching for a new place to stop. The cloud of Adonai was over them during the day as they set out from the camp. When the ark moved forward, Moshe said, 

“Arise, Adonai! May your enemies be scattered!
Let those who hate you flee before you!” (Numbers 10:33-35 CJB)

May Your enemies be scattered! Like traffic pulling to the side as you zip down the turnpike unaffected by left-lane campers and jack rabbits. Or fellow tourists pinning themselves against the walls of the Louvre, allowing you and Mona Lisa uninterrupted moments of eye contact. Or, like the Red Sea parting. Maybe Moses had that in mind as he spoke these words. Whatever the imagery, the prayer was that armies and contenders would bow the knee before the God of Israel as He moved His people unimpeded to their new home.

Numbers 11:1, But the people began complaining about their hardships to Adonai. That didn't take long. 

Numbers 11:4, Next, the mixed crowd that was with them grew greedy for an easier life; while the people of Isra’el, for their part, also renewed their weeping and said, “If only we had meat to eat!" 

And, even Moses himself took up the lament: If you are going to treat me this way, then just kill me outright! — please, if you have any mercy toward me! — and don’t let me go on being this miserable! (Numbers 11:15) 

Enemies abound. The truly sad fact is the enemies weren't up ahead. They weren't lurking behind rocks or lying in wait at the next oasis. They were in their midst. The enemies were in God's people. Distrust. Fear. Jealousy. Greed. Weariness. Love for a past life. Insolence. They were all right there in the camp. And they multiplied, spreading from one tent to another, from one day to the next.

May Your enemies be scattered! And by Your grace, as we cooperate with Your Holy Spirit, may they be cast far from us. 

This season, as we prepare to spend more time with our family and others as we vacation, may we be mindful of the enemies we have within us. May we confess them and surrender them before the Lord that we may walk unfettered and unchecked wherever He may lead.

Midweek: Can Anxiety and Gratitude Co-Exist?

It's Wednesday, and for a couple of weeks we have been talking about anxiety. I want to be clear: anxiety can be caused by physiological abnormalities, medications or their dosage, genetics, and other disorders. Causes can be environmental as well; trauma, stress, and other external stimuli. Sometimes it is necessary to seek professional medical intervention, but there exists the opportunity to conquer anxiety before it reaches that point. Science seems to indicate, gratitude is an excellent method! 

The folks at Neurolaunch write: 

Anxiety is more than just feeling stressed or worried. It’s a persistent and often overwhelming sense of fear or apprehension about future events or situations. The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” 

Persistent, overwhelming, characterized by tension and worry. This is anxiety. Not a temporary nervousness about a presentation or a driving test, but something with which one has been living for a period of time. Imagine, however, living with gratitude. Neurolaunch says gratitude recognizes and acknowledges the positive aspects of life, and shifts focus from what we lack to what we have, fostering a sense of abundance and contentment. This shift in perspective can be particularly powerful in combating negative thought patterns often associated with anxiety and depression. The patterns of negative thought are defeated by new patterns; those of thankfulness. A study by Zahn et al., 2008 (cited in Positive Psychology) states, Gratitude can change neural structures in the brain, making individuals feel happier and more content. Feeling grateful and appreciative triggers the “good” hormones and regulates effective functioning of the immune system. Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to be "rewired"; as it may have been once wired in the negative by trauma or negative experiences, it can be rewired by gratitude!

Also, Positive Psychology affirms studies which support the connection between gratitude and a reduction of anxiety:

The limbic system is the part of the brain that is responsible for all emotional experiences. It consists of the thalamus, hypothalamus, amygdala, hippocampus, and cingulate gyrus. Studies have shown that the hippocampus and amygdala, the two main sites regulating emotions, memory, and bodily functioning, get activated with feelings of gratitude (Wong et al., 2018). This part of the brain includes reward pathways and the hypothalamus, which can boost serotonin and activate the brain stem to produce dopamine, improving mood and making us feel good (Zahn et al., 2008). 

Gratitude can be good for your brain and even increase or preserve gray matter volume (Zahn et al., 2014)! Gray matter is responsible for perception, among other things; faulty perceptions can trigger anxiety.

From healthiness360.com: The brain cannot respond to anxiety and gratitude simultaneously, as it is an “either/or” situation. Studies have shown that gratitude reduces anxiety and depression by optimizing the functioning of the autonomic nervous system and the same neurotransmitters involved in anxiety. Anxiety and gratitude can coexist, but they cannot function concurrently; the presence of gratitude improves body function to the extent its reaction to anxiety is reduced.

What a marvelous machine God has given each of us; but we see the effects of mankind's sin on its function. We see how wrong perceptions, lies we have believed, our own sin, and the turmoil of a fallen world have impacted our health. Anxiety is an issue of health; the health of our minds, our hearts, and our bodies. Scripture exhorts us again and again to give thanks and rejoice, to take our thought life captive, dwelling on what God says, crowding out harmful thinking, and to submit to the Holy Spirit's work as He renews our mind and continues His sanctifying work. Science confirms what God's Word says about emotional well-being. Anxiety and gratitude can coexist, but only one can dominate the moment. Truth will decide the battle.

Answers to Prayer

Scott and I recently attended an auction to raise funds for local projects. The venue was beautiful. The weather was perfect. It was our wedding anniversary. And the vibe was incredibly social. People from various walks of life settled into conversation and people watching, noshing on goodies and taking part in some of the activities. Our hosts did a wonderful job.

Early in the event, Scott and I set our sights set on two different items. We placed our bids and, for most of the evening, they held. About forty minutes before close, however, someone started troubling the waters on one of the two pieces. I teased our bid forward by ten dollars. A minute later, an alert on my phone; we'd been outbid again. "Just wait until a minute before close, then increase our bid," Scott urged. So, we stepped out into the evening air to make small talk, all the while keeping an eye on the time. With three minutes remaining, I pulled the trigger --another five dollars. Another minute later, wheet whoo! Outbid again! I hit the link and pulled up the image. Before I could reason as to how much farther we were willing to go --CLOSED. "We lost it!" I whined. Scott jokingly chastised my impetuosity, "If you'd just waited another minute like I told you, but no, you had to jump the gun." A nearby couple was listening to our exchange. "At least we got The Buckley Homestead," I placated. That's when the woman spoke. "You won The Buckley Homestead!" she exclaimed. When we affirmed it, she introduced the gentleman sitting with her as the artist. The opportunity to thank him for his donation and sharing his talent was truly a privilege, but it got better. As we made our way inside for the closing remarks, a woman spoke over my shoulder, "I think I stole your Song." The woman with whom we'd been locked in a bidding skirmish! She'd been seated just feet away as Scott and I strategized. Again, another privilege; to discuss such a beautiful work with someone who also appreciated it, for her to share with us her plans for it --where it will hang and how it will complement her decor, to wish her years of enjoyment, and to know that all of it was to benefit the community. We walked to the parking lot feeling richly blessed. 

I tell you all of this because in so many ways, this is an answer to so many prayers. My husband, our marriage. The answer to a prayer prompted years ago by someone I loved insisting, "No marriage is perfect; fairytale love doesn't exist." Wrong! Beauty, priorities. The answer to a prayer prayed about the same time; for God to take my life and make me new. He is faithful! Vision, opportunities. The answer to a prayer prayed over worldly assets, that God would show us how to turn them into eternal wealth. In the most unlikely of ways! Diversity, wonder. The answer to a prayer that began with longing for my own point of view, not the one I allowed to be imposed on me by others. There is freedom in Christ!   

Whatever your current situation, whatever your dream, pray. God can open up a world of opportunities and blessings you never imagined. He can exchange your longings for days of gratitude and understanding. He will hear your deepest desires and give you the joy of sharing this life with others. For your good and for His glory!   

   

The Lion or the Dog?

The comedian, Michael Jr., gives an illustration of a man running to the top of a mountain. He reaches the summit --How does he feel? Great, right? Exuberant. Another man runs toward the top of a mountain, but a dog is chasing him --How does he feel? Relief. Just relief. The first man runs because he has chosen to run, to meet a goal, to see the world from the top --whatever his motivation, it is his motivation and he obeys it because he chooses to obey. The other man has no choice but to run --or, be bitten. He will yield to necessity as many times as necessity dictates, in the way necessity dictates, for as long as necessity dictates, or he will suffer painful and unpleasant consequences. And when he reaches his moment of safety, he will pray he will not need another; but there are no guarantees. The dog will rule the man's behavior. Michael Jr. asks, "Which man are you?" 

Throughout history, there have been folks who have chosen their destiny, followed their destiny, created their destiny. And there have been folks driven by circumstances, doing all of life in response to whatever life throws at them, driven by the need to react. There have been Christians in both camps. But is one closer to God's design for us than the other? I think the answer is Yes, but I want to be clear with regard to "destiny": I'm not talking some abstract or cosmic purpose for being, or some self-decided path for career or life. By "destiny" I mean the God-ordained, God-employed, God-directed manner in which we serve Him and bring Him glory. And if this is the definition, can there be any other way but to follow after such a destiny but with zeal, intent, and every bit of ourselves? Can there be any other choice but to comply? Unlike the dog that will inflict damage if we do not flee, God rewards those who diligently seek Him. One is flight from harm, the other is pursuit of Reward. One finds us in a necessary place but not necessarily the place we'd choose to be; the other finds us in a good place, safely and firmly in the center of God's will. One is an obligation, the other is a choice. One is a reaction, the other is action.

I say all of this today because so much of my life was spent reacting to others and responding to the problems I encountered throughout each day. Spinning plates. Extinguishing fires. Choose whatever metaphor you'd like. I'm thinking that, maybe, you have experienced this in your life as well. But Scripture tells us that submitting ourselves to Jesus brings freedom, freedom from sin and death, freedom from anxiety, freedom from the things of this world that will rule our behavior and determine our destiny if we haven't submitted to a loving and sovereign God who calls us to heights He has prepared for us.

Which man are you? Are you living because it is your joy, because there is something glorious waiting for you at the end of the race? or has life become nothing more to you than dodging pitfalls, fear and insecurity driving you, the dogs of this world nipping at your heels? Are you in pursuit or trying to stay one step ahead? Have you yielded your way to Jesus or have necessity and expectation put you in chains? Who sits on the throne of your life, your destiny, your behavior --the Lion or the dog?  

Midweek: There's Freedom from Anxiety in Minding Your Own Business

Luci yanked hard on her leash, almost pulling me into the busy street. A driver tapped his brakes, unsure that she wouldn't. The dogs on a nearby corner were barking and Luci was jumping and twirling wildly. Days of her anxiety on our walks had me frustrated and sore; nothing the trainer had suggested was working. That's when I decided to go back to basics, a bag full of treats. 

When Luci had first begun training, I was lured by the hope of simply speaking a command --even at the most stressful of times --and having her obey. I longed for a day in which my pockets and backpacks would not be littered with crumbs from her treats. Alas, it was not to be --at least, not for the time being. Instead, I began feeding her treats each day we passed the corner yard. Slowly, she progressed! Eventually, she could walk past (on the opposite side of the street, of course --I'm not crazy) with barely a glance. And to this day, the same holds true. The discipline of distraction has left its imprint. In areas of our neighborhood where I didn't train her in the same manner, every noise, every scampering rabbit, every suspected threat is an opportunity for one of her full-blown panic attacks. In Luci's case, anxiety hasn't taken a holiday, but the promise of a crumbly treat proved just enough of a distraction that, even today, those dogs that once upset her to the point of mania she encounters again and again without incident. As she began to associate that corner with something positive, a disinterest in the negative developed.     

The Bible is clear that gratitude is a great way to crowd out anxiety, a positive that develops in us a disinterest in the negative. Scripture is clear, too, in the causes: sin causes anxiety, resisting the work of the Holy Spirit --even through trials and difficulty --can be the cause of anxiety, and being a busybody can provoke anxiety as well. Apparently, this was something of an issue in Thessalonica; Paul writes on two occasions that those in the church should strive to live quietly and each individual mind his or her own business (1 Thessalonians 4:9-12; 2 Thessalonians 3:11, 12). Being a busybody, he says, causes problems in our relationship with others, causes disorder, and can leave us without the very things we need. But is anxiety the same as being a busybody?

Well, anxiety and a quiet life are unable to coexist much in the same way gratitude and anxiety cannot. Stewing over, worrying about, or fearing outcomes --even if we do those things quietly --are not what is meant by living a quiet life. Psalm 46:10 tells us, Be still and know that He is God. It is through stillness and quiet, placing our focus on God, living as He directs that we begin to truly know Him. When our attention is on the things around us or we fret over how those things may impact us, we cannot see His power, His sovereignty, His purpose, or His loving care. We cannot know Him, and our life is instead directed by the noise and turmoil of circumstances. When we're giving attention to matters we cannot control, we are not doing what we are called to do --Be still and know, Pray and give thanks (Philippians 4:6, 7), Do all things to God's glory (1 Corinthians 10:31), Love God and love others (Mark 12:30, 31). We cannot concentrate on our work when we're fixated on circumstances beyond our influence or authority. Quite frankly, anxiety and tension should be the result of overstepping our commission! The behavior of others, sickness, death, trials and troubles that come with being residents of the physical world --those things always were and always will be more than we are equipped to remedy in full. They are, quite literally, not in our job description. And if we are taking them on, we are not only unable to do our own work, but we are standing in God's way, trying to steal His glory, and assuming problems, the weight of which will crush us. 

As we walk, Luci's job it is to walk with me and follow my direction. She is free to look around, sniff the air, listen, get some exercise, enjoy every place I lead her. She is not free, however, to concern herself over squirrels being squirrels or dogs barking from the confines of their own yard; and when she does, chaos results. Because she has overstepped; she is not minding her own business. As we walk with Jesus, it is our job to walk with Him and follow His direction. We are free to bring Him glory, to do bold and courageous things, to be salt and light to a decaying and dark world, to rightly enjoy every thing He has created and righteously bless every one He has placed in our path, to pray confidently and serve selflessly, to mind our own business and be free of anxiety. 

He Is Just AND Merciful

Karma. Just desserts. Payback. Call it what you like, it's not of God. Some people think of God as some great equalizer, looking to even everything out, render to everyone that which they deserve. That is such a diminution of His character. Though He is perfect in justice and holiness, though the law He gave mankind demanded eye for eye and tooth for tooth, life for life, God's system of equity is nothing like humanity's. He is just, He is merciful, He is kindhearted, and He is Lord.

The book of Judges reads like a shampoo bottle. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Israel falls away in their obedience to God. God sends outsiders to torment Israel. Israel begs for mercy. God sends a rescuer. Israel follows God again. Until they don't, and the whole process repeats itself. Does any of that sound familiar? In Judges 10, the people have once again abandoned God. Yet, this time, God seems to handle things a bit differently. Rather than respond with rescue to their pitiful cries, God replies, Did I not deliver you from [those who] oppressed you; and you cried out to Me, and I delivered you from their hand. Yet you have forsaken Me and served other gods. Therefore I will deliver you no more. 'Go and cry out to the gods which you have chosen; let them deliver you in your time of distress.'  (v. 11-14) Ask the gods to which you've been so faithful to return to help you. Ouch! I mean, it's not like they didn't deserve that response. It's not like I don't deserve that response when I fail in my efforts to control things or when the things in which I seek comfort fail me. But God is merciful. This time, He allows the Israelites to sit in their situation for a bit. They finally repent of their sin, put away the idols of their familiar gods and begin serving the Lord. And God steps in. Even as fallible human parents are moved by the misery of their children, our perfect Heavenly Father is moved by the plight of His children. Mercy. But God is no pushover.

In Judges 11 and 12, Jephthah, son of a prostitute, is a strong warrior, but an outcast. That is, until the people of Israel were once again tormented by another nation. Come and be our commander, that we may fight against the people of Ammon, the elders in Israel pleaded. Jephthah replied, Did you not hate me, and expel me from my father’s house? Why have you come to me now when you are in distress? (11:4-7) That was probably a mic drop moment. So, Jephthah was able to negotiate a position as judge of Israel if he agreed to lead them into victory. The terrible treatment Jephthah suffered at the hands of his brothers cost them something. And later, when the men of Ephraim took issue with Jephthah excluding them from the prestige and spoils of war, Jephthah asked them where they were when he asked for their help: My people and I were in a great struggle with the people of Ammon; and when I called you, you did not deliver me out of their hands. Jephthah was no pushover either.

Unlike Jephthah, however, God strives with His children again and again, providing His elect with countless opportunities to submit to His authority. Yes, He disciplines us, but what parent doesn't discipline the child they love? Yes, He demands things of us, but don't all relationships require the participation of both parties? And, yes, He is perfect in holiness and justice, but never to the exclusion of His loving kindness. Jesus, Son of the Father, took our place, paid our debt, fulfilled the wrath of our holy, just God. He doesn't negotiate for a place of authority in our lives; He has claim to it and implores us all to surrender it. He doesn't need our service or sacrifice; He gives us the privilege of laying down before Him all we are given. And He shows us His mercy --it's all mercy! Because He is Lord. He is not threatened by our reaction to His kindness, whether we are dropped to our knees or our fists are clenched against Him. He is not that small. But He is just. Just and merciful. Kindhearted and Lord.  

Anniversary

My husband was a professional driver for more than twenty-five years. He drove vehicles more than eighty feet long across the country for days on end without so much as a fender bender. And yet...

...when I'm sitting in the passenger seat of our personal vehicle, I have this uncontrollable urge to tell him to slow down...

    ...move back

        ...get over

            ...or, just let me drive.

And, since I have suddenly been overtaken by candor, I have to admit, I can be a much more aggressive driver than he. The difference is, I say, I know what I'm doing.

I've often wondered about this as we've been driving along. When Scott and I began dating, riding with him was fun. I felt safe and secure. I mean, who wouldn't? A driver with a resumé such as his --how could I feel the least bit at risk? So, what changed? How could I have had so much confidence in him when I barely knew him, yet, years later, when he's proven himself to me time and time again, I take issue with his driving? Well, there are a few explanations that have come to me.

First of all, he doesn't know everything. When we first began our relationship, he "wowed" me with his knowledge of this and perspectives of that. It was all so new! Discovering his story and hearing of his adventures. As time passed, I began to realize he wasn't perfect; that his opinions were different than mine and he wasn't as well-versed in some things, things of which I knew quite a bit. I mean, if I can't trust him to use correct grammar in front of a loan officer, how could I trust him to merge onto the highway properly? I cringed when I watched him get the Double Jeopardy answer wrong --Can he even read a map?!

Secondly, I've got more of a stake in his driving than I did years ago. When we were dating, his truck was his truck; now, his truck is our truck. When we were dating, his speeding ticket impacted his insurance; now, his speeding ticket impacts our insurance.

Third, and this is the explanation I think bears the brunt of the argument: I am a self-centered, self-righteous individual. I think I have control when I drive. I think I've got the situation licked when I'm handling it. I think the risks he takes are careless, while the risks I take are calculated. I think his missteps are avoidable; mine are accidental. I do know what I'm doing, but it's the fear that grips me when I don't know what he's doing that makes my knuckles whiten. And this applies to far more than the journeys we measure in miles. It's an attitude, a me-first, me-best attitude. And it doesn't always rear its ugly head; maybe my gracious husband would say it doesn't often rear its ugly head, but it's there. It might show up when a child needs correction or a project needs to be tackled. It might show up when finances are stretched or relationships are rocky or sleep is needed. And, while I admit it, while I fully own it, it doesn't go away. Not in full, not yet. But that's what marriage is: two people bring their junk, simultaneously working to scrap it or refurbish it while, in some strange and miraculous way, it becomes a Life together. Imperfect as they both are, they join their resources and attempt to show one another grace. Because though one may do better at a thing or two, no one is better. (And he shows me much grace.)  

Before death ever does us part, neither of us will be perfect. But Scott will patiently, gently, sometimes through clenched teeth love me as though I am. I don't deserve him. But I will continue to try to love him as well as he loves me. Because of a promise we made eighteen years ago.

Happy Anniversary, My Love! 

Midweek: Healing Anxiety Through Repentance

Two weeks ago, I wrote a post about anxiety. In it I mentioned the boundaries God has established through His commandments, boundaries which keep us safe. Easy to see how a child needs to be protected from the dangers of the world (Children, Chainsaws, and Anxiety), but adults rarely like admitting they are ill-equipped or under-equipped for life. We're adults! We're supposed to know these things, right? Not to mention, who's gonna tell us? We're grown! That's why children have a much better reception rate when it comes to the gospel than adults: we don't like to be told what to do and we certainly don't believe there's anyone out there qualified to do so.

Last week's post about anxiety focused on time, one of the elements of life that seems to stimulate anxiety in Americans, especially. Deadlines, waiting, too little time or too much seems to set our hearts to racing and our palms to sweating. Have you ever seen anyone get apoplectic over a tape measure or a set of measuring spoons? Of course not! It's understood those are just devices for quantifying things. Time is no different. There is, however, a big difference in using a clock and being ruled by it.

biblehub.com says of "The Nature of Anxiety in Scripture":

Anxiety involves an inner sense of fear, pressure, or unease, often triggered by uncertainty about life’s circumstances, the future, or personal well-being. In Scripture, this experience is not ignored or trivialized; rather, it is addressed compassionately and directly. Whether one looks at the Old Testament or the New, the Bible consistently teaches that anxiety can be overcome by renewed trust in God’s character and promises.

The Bible acknowledges the problem of anxiety! Psalm 38:18 (AMP) says, 

For I do confess my guilt and iniquity; I am filled with anxiety because of my sin.

Filled with anxiety! Why? Because of sin. Because the guilt of it is weighing me down. Because it is not providing the relief I expected. Because my own sin has turned on me and made matters worse. Because it has become a habit I cannot sustain. Because it has become an addiction I cannot kick. Anxiety will take its pound of flesh and then some, but we permit it to do so when we entertain and conceal sin. Philippians 4:6, 7 command us to not be anxious. Instead, it says, talk to God, give thanks, ask for His help, and receive His peace. Matthew 6:25-34 tells us to stop worrying about things like food and clothing. Our Heavenly Father knows the needs of His children. Our objective each and every day is to obey; to serve Him, bring Him glory, abide in Christ; putting Him first, seeking Him most.

Psalm 32:1-5 remind us of the consequences of sin in our bodies and the freedom we can know when we confess what God already knows:

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,

Whose sin is covered.

Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity,

And in whose spirit there is no deceit.

When I kept silent, my bones grew old

Through my groaning all the day long.

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah

I acknowledged my sin to You,

And my iniquity I have not hidden.

I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”

And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

I would encourage you, if you are struggling with anxiety to submit your thoughts, your words, your behaviors past and present to the Lord for examination. He is a just judge, He knows us intimately, and He loves us enough to give His life for us. As sins of commission or omission are revealed, I would encourage you to ask His forgiveness and repent of those things. Anxiety has no foothold in the presence of the Prince of Peace. 

  

God Shows Up

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Maybe you've heard someone ask the question before. Perhaps that someone was you. In Judges 6:13, Gideon asked a similar question of the Angel of the Lord: 

Gideon said to Him, “O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about, saying, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the Lord has forsaken us and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.”

The people of Israel had handed down from generation to generation the history of God's faithfulness to His people. But in Gideon's day, they were plagued by the Midianites, hiding in hills and caves, starving and destitute. Where was God? Where were His miracles? And why had He abandoned His chosen people?

Judges 6:1 tells us, the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord. So the Lord delivered them into the hand of Midian for seven years. Okay, so they weren't exactly "good"; they hadn't exactly obeyed God. But they had cried out. We're not told just how much time passed before God sent a prophet, before the Angel of God paid Gideon a visit, but I'm sure (call it personal experience) the words of repentance and desperation had only left the mouths of the people when they started looking for relief. God, if You are with us, why is this happening? Where is Your power, Your deliverance? 

Let me just remind us all, God's presence does not guarantee ease. Just because we belong to Him, just because He has promised never to leave or forsake His people, doesn't mean we won't feel the pangs of hunger or the sting of death among our family. We are still very much present in this world --in fact, we are commanded to be! --and we will suffer the trials and tribulations of being human in a broken world. But it does not mean God is not with us.

Secondly, God's presence is not always accompanied by miracles as we would define them. Read through Scripture and find the miracles. Easy, right? Waters parted and calmed, babies brought forth out of closed wombs, leprosy healed and the dead raised. But what of the prophets who obeyed day after day despite ridicule and persecution? What a miracle that is! Or eighty-year-old Moses leading all those rebellious, angry people forty years across a barren land; he never walked off the job, never found himself under a flock of vultures circling overhead. Or Paul breathing out murderous threats against Jesus' disciples, radically transformed by and encounter with the Living Christ. When we talk about God "showing up" in our situations, too often we have expectations, schedules; we define miracles as we would like them done. What we're really seeking is for God to please us rather than seeking to please Him.

Which brings us to the Angel's answer to Gideon: 

Then the Lord turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the hand of the Midianites. Have I not sent you?” (Judges 6:14) 

Gideon was part of the miracle! You have been sent! Are we doing what we're supposed to be doing, or are we sitting around waiting for God to whisk us away in a fiery chariot or shut the mouths of hungry lions? I'm not saying He won't, mind you, but I am saying that sometimes we are the miracle; it is the simple obedience of His people that changes the course of history and makes an eternal difference in the lives of others. Rather than wasting our time questioning the goodness of God, the presence of God, or the plans of God, let's work on our obedience to God and watch Him work His good in the lives of all people.     

More Than a Word of Encouragement

If you are of a certain generation, you might instantly recognize, "ROY G. BIV," as the colors of the visible light spectrum. Or "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally," as the order of mathematical operations. These are mnemonic devices, but they only remain helpful if information and language do not change. For instance, what exactly are we doing about "My Very Expensive Machine Just Sucked Up Nine...??" these days? In the absence of Pluto as "planet", how has this learning tool been impacted? In today's world, language and information seem to go through more updates than a three-year-old cell phone. (Everyone knows they're just frying your battery.) I keep a 1936 dictionary on hand, and from time to time, I come across words in today's conversations that have either changed in definition or did not even exist less than one hundred years ago. 

One of my favorite (or least favorite, depending) examples is the word empathy, a word that was not in existence in 1936. According to today's dictionary, empathy refers to "the ability to identify with or understand another's situation or feelings". In other words, "I can relate." Sympathy, on the other hand, today means "feeling pity or sorrow for the distress of another". Sort of a "that's a shame" response. Today's society poo-poos sympathy as being superficial; the greater emotion is empathy says the zeitgeist. But if you look at each part of each word, the prefixes and the root (pathos, meaning "feeling"), you might see things differently. The prefix sym- means "to join with", like the symphony that creates one cohesive sound or the symbiotic relationship, both parties giving and receiving equally. On the other hand, the prefix em- means "to cause to be" or "to put into", such as to embolden, or instill boldness in someone. Sympathy joins with the sufferer, taking their pain on oneself; while empathy merely generates some feeling, bringing it into the situation. 1 Peter 3:8 (NIV) Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. It is sympathy that requires love and action.

So, why the language lesson? Encouragement. Again, the prefix en- means to put into; to encourage someone means to put courage into them. Discourage (dis- "lack of") of course, is the opposite; to withdraw courage from someone, to leave someone feeling without boldness. Neither of these words have changed much over the years, but our common use can cause us to accept a watered-down view of their meaning. Think of the mom on the sidelines, wildly cheering her child on in their first track meet. Encouragement, right? It's obvious! But from where are we to receive the boldness necessary to simply continue in a world that opposes godly values? Who will build us up when our efforts to be salt and light have been met with torrents of rain? The Bible is one of the best sources of encouragement, of course, but believers are a body, the body of Christ, made up of many different parts, working together and supporting one another for the glory of God. We are to encourage one another as well. Encourage! Join with one another in joy and pain (sympathy). Bear one another's burdens in prayer and activity when possible. Speak life into our brothers and sisters. It is far too easy in this world to tear one another down; but we are not of this world. Be kind and forgive much. Don't stop! (1 Thessalonians 5:11) If we are all encouraging one another all the time, every one of us should be filled with the courage to continue filling one another with courage! Our confidence and courage are because we serve the One True God by the power of His Holy Spirit because of the finished work of His Son. Nothing is impossible with Him. But we're human. We live in a physical world that can discourage us. We sometimes need to experience live, radical, no-holds-barred encouragement from flesh and blood like us. God has met that need in our brothers and sisters in Christ. And He has met their needs in each of us.    

Midweek: Anxiety and the Test of Time

Have you ever taken a timed test? Perhaps you've played the game Perfection. You hear the clock ticking away, or you're imagining just how long you've been at it and how little time you have remaining. The closer it gets --or the closer you believe it is getting --to time running out, the faster your heart races, the more you begin to sweat and shake. Anxiety! But what if what we're measuring, speed, is not the thing that needs to be measured? What if those timed tests are more about you working diligently, thinking logically, staying focused? What if that silly little ticking game is more about manual dexterity and spatial acumen? What if it's not about beating the clock at all? Is it possible the anxiety we feel is because we are wrong about the purpose for the test?

James 1:2-8 says, 

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

The testing of your faith, "falling into" various trials, produces patience. Sure, there's a test; but it's not for the purposes of "pass-fail" or shaming us. It's a test --or many tests --to teach us patience. The testing of our ability to forgive when we are in the infancy of our walk with Christ should look much different from the testing of our ability to forgive years into our relationship with Jesus. And though the clock is ticking, we are not racing against it. There's no need to be anxious. If we are surrendered to God's means, the Holy Spirit does the work. Time merely reminds us just how far the Holy Spirit has brought us. All glory to God, once I was bitter and unforgiving, but look what He has done!

God, through James, continues: Let patience have her perfect work. Unto completion. Don't fight it. Don't panic. Don't worry. Don't fear. Trials are not wasted when we trust God is doing something through them; but we give anxiety free reign when we see our circumstances as purely random and out of control. Rather than keep our eyes on Jesus, we race toward a Finish Line we cannot see, plotting, planning, trying to figure it all out, anything to make it stop --now! The time will come for it to stop; but until then, sit with Him as He works. Let patience develop. Take a deep breath and hold on to the One who holds you.

And don't hesitate to ask. James says we are to ask for wisdom in these trials; those who ask in faith, without doubting God's answer, without seeking wisdom elsewhere "just in case" God doesn't respond quickly enough or to our liking, will receive. Mark 9, records the moment a man brought his sick child to Jesus' disciples. They were unable to help and, it seems, left the man a bit skeptical of Jesus and His ministry. Jesus, however, intervenes and says, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." The man responds with, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" A simple prayer: I don't believe as I want; help me! Or, this one, Help me take my eyes off of my circumstances and off of the clock, as I wait on You! 

Time is not the enemy, nor are the trials that come over time. In fact, those trials teach us better time management: laying more of our anxieties at the cross, and living for His glory as we wait on Him.

Challenged To Prayer

Where did you learn to pray? Did your parents teach you something like, Now I lay me down to sleep...? Maybe you still haven't learned to pray. Maybe you have no idea what or who to pray for. Maybe you're just not sure you have that kind of time. Well, have you got time to think? to speak? to breathe? If you can walk and chew gum at the same time, you have time to pray. Scripture says we should pray without ceasing, at all times, about everything. If it keeps you awake at night, if it makes you grip the steering wheel just a little more tightly, if it causes your stomach to flip-flop, if it makes your heart sing, talk to the God of the universe about it! Yes! He wants to hear from you, and has made a way though His Son, Jesus, whereby you can go to Him. About anything! There is no need for King James thees and thous --He hears your heart and knows you don't speak that way to anyone else. If you're awed by Him and choose to kneel, do it! If you're driving, don't! If you need to close your eyes to focus on Him, do it! If you're driving, don't! He is worthy of your acknowledgement, of the offering of your thoughts, of your tears and your laughter, of your breath. He is worthy!

And you can pray for anyone! I sort of hope, when I get to heaven, I will see some of the people who have been in my prayers. Or, maybe, God will give me just a peek at what was going on in that person's life at the very moment they popped into my thoughts, and I prayed for them. Maybe I'm a bit touched, but there are people for whom I pray I will probably never see again; people who stepped into my life for a nanosecond but have remained in my heart. I didn't put them there. I didn't ask them to crash into my car or walk into the garden department of Lowe's, but there they were. And they have remained with me. I think God has a reason for that.

Robert Vera, in his book A Warrior's Faith, the story of Ryan Job, writes:

I believe that all of the challenges in our lives are part of God's unique plan for each of us. This plan comes to us over time in parts of a puzzle. Each piece is delivered by strangers, friends, family members, and the random people who come into our lives ever so briefly and bring with them a critical piece of the puzzle.

I love that! We are interconnected. God is the Author of relationship; He created man and woman because it was not good for the man to be alone. What will you do with the names of the people you meet? Will you acknowledge the image of God in each life, believe His great love for them, and begin praying? When you took the piece of your puzzle from their hand, did their need, their joy, their hopes remain with you? Pray for them! Pray God miraculously meets their needs and they acknowledge His goodness. Pray God preserves that joy and gives them opportunities to bring Him glory through it. Pray God directs them in their desires and prospers them for His glory. There is no lack of concerns or people we should be lifting before God. Your Kingdom come; Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven! (Matthew 6:10) 

This world is a mess (always something for which to pray!), but there are also some pretty wonderful people in it who need our prayers. So long as we have this great privilege, let's use it all day every day! Here's a challenge for you: This week, find one person --in line at the DMV, at work, checking shoes at the bowling alley (that guy could definitely use some prayer), wherever --find one person to add to your prayer list, or start your prayer list (that's okay). Just do it. Imagine how much better this world could get if we all began to pray.   

We Have Only to Share

I recently received a letter from an attorney for the plaintiffs in a class action suit against one of my former employers. The gist of the complaint is employees in large facilities are looking to be paid for the time it takes them to report to their assigned work area. I know some of these facilities, I've seen some of the nonsense that takes place, and personally, I can see all sorts of foolishness attached to this; people looking to extract reward for very minimal effort. But a court has agreed to hear the case, so...

This morning I was reading Joshua 13. It begins with the news that Joshua, a mighty warrior, had grown old, the years and the warfare had taken its toll. In verse 6, God tells Joshua as for the remaining unconquered territories, God Himself would drive out the inhabitants; the only task left to Joshua would be the dividing of the spoils. I wrote in my journal: Joshua was aging. He'd proven himself faithful, and God demonstrated mercy toward him. But as I looked at the words, I had questions. Had God not shown mercy even when He required Joshua and the men of Israel to do battle? What if Joshua hadn't been old? What if he hadn't proven himself faithful? What if there was no apparent cause for mercy? The answer came almost immediately. The cross.

When confronted with the standard of a perfectly holy God, when confronted with a moral law that is unmatched in purity and impossible with regard to human obedience, could Joshua ever be old enough or faithful enough to warrant God's mercy? No. Could Israel ever be obedient enough to earn God's favor? No. Could you or I or any other human be enough in any capacity to deserve His mercy or grace? No. God demonstrated His mercy toward Joshua, toward the armies of Israel, because He chose to do so. God demonstrated His mercy toward you and I and all of humanity in that while we were His enemies, His rivals on the thrones of our hearts, haters of Him, committed to sin, by sending His Son, Jesus, to suffer and die in our place on the cross. By His sacrifice --again, in our place --we are now able to divide the spoils among the rest of the world. We receive eternal life, a life with Him for all of eternity, and we proclaim it and demonstrate it on the world stage! We can be salt and light, staving off the decay of sin and death by sharing the Gospel with our words and our behavior. We can offer to others the reconciliation we have received by forgiving them as we have been forgiven, by sharing our testimony of God's forgiveness and encouraging them to receive it, regarding others with the same value and intention God regards them, and walking before humanity as Jesus walked. The receiving of the spoils of Jesus' sacrifice in our place, His willingness to do the work that we might have was never solely for the purpose of accumulation. We are to distribute, divide the spoils of what God has done.

I think most of us would like to believe we work really hard. And most of us would like to be, or believe we are being, compensated for aaaalll the work we do. But the simple truth is this: we're sitting in the cheap seats. We see things from a very small, very self-centered point of view, fighting to receive that to which we believe we are entitled, judging ourselves by our own "good intentions". God, our Creator sees the big picture and sees it perfectly. In the court that will take place on the Day of Judgment, we will be judged by our own work, or we will be judged by Jesus' work. We're entitled to nothing, but He gave us everything. And for those who believe, the spoils are there, in accordance with what our Savior and Judge has procured for us. Thanks be to God, because of Jesus, we have extracted a reward for no effort. We have only to share it with those we meet as we have been commanded.   

   

Midweek: Children, Chainsaws, and Anxiety

For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.
~ Genesis 3:5

"So, I handed my three-year old a chainsaw and let her go to town," said no one ever. Yet, at some point, those of us three-year olds who were able to reach the top shelf, took down the chainsaw for ourselves and began doing as we wished.

The longer I live, the more I realize how little I know and how irresponsibly I can act. Especially when the only thing on my mind is insisting on my own way. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by the God of the universe; I can do all sorts of marvelous things. But turned loose, left to my own devices, ignoring the boundaries of the One who is infinite and with me always, I am a disaster waiting to happen; I am a preschooler wielding a chainsaw.

When God created Adam and Eve, He created them out of love, guarding and guiding them in love. He wasn't trying to stifle their growth. He definitely was not (and is not) afraid of competition; He has no competition. (Back to the three-year old; a world class runner would not consider that child "competition." Ridiculous, right?) So, the idea that God would establish rules in order to keep us from proving too great a competitor is ludicrous. But mankind fell for the lie in the garden and has continued to fall for it ever since. Our society refuses to obey --refuses to even acknowledge God as being worthy of obedience --because we are under the arrogant delusion He is intimidated by us. The heartbreaking truth is this: we are ignorant to the damage we do to ourselves. Whether it's as serious as jumping on a ship and heading the other direction when we hear the voice of God or simply neglecting to commit our day to Him before we head on out to work, we practice so religiously our "own" abilities and freedoms, they become our exclusive modus operandi. Why would we need all those laws? Because as a whole, in comparison to the One who created us, we are ignorant children! 

Sure, we have intelligence. We have talent. We have initiative. We have kindness and compassion. All of these, gracious gifts our Creator has given to us in varying amounts. But we can never know the blessings or burdens that we will encounter by the end of the day. We can never know what God is doing on the other side of the world, or in a small town on another coast, or even right next door, that will require the knowledge we have or provide us with the talents we don't. God sees the entire picture. So, when He says, "Stay away, this isn't good for you," it's not because He's threatened by juveniles with power tools; it's because He loves us --all of us, and His laws, when obeyed, are able to keep us all functioning as a healthy, happy society. He sees the whole picture, from beginning to end, from coast to coast, from pole to pole, from our solar system to the next and the next after that!

But here is the current state of mankind's affairs. In May 2024, psychiatry.org reported an increase in anxiety among American adults. In November of the same year, The National Center for Biotechnology Information made the following claim:  

Anxiety disorders are among the most prevalent mental health conditions globally, particularly affecting adolescents and young adults (10-24 years), and causing substantial psychological and social impairments.

Attend one family function, watch one sitcom, sit through one church service, and you're likely to encounter talk of anxiety. It's ubiquitous, but so sad. So, over the next couple of Wednesdays, I'd like to show you what the Bible says about anxiety and how that corresponds to "good old American do-it-yourself-ism" and our arrogant propensity to pick up the chainsaw to do as we please. 

A Taste You'll Never Forget

I remember well the vulgar tang that gripped my tongue when I bit into the bread. I was probably about ten-years-old and, in my haste and my ignorance, had retrieved from the bread box (yes, we had one -- every household did in those days) a piece of moldy bread. The center had remained fluffy and white, but the crust...? Fuzzy black and green spots dotted its once golden-brown surface. I immediately spit it out. And I've never made that mistake again.

The mistake I have made again and again, however, is a lesson learned through moldy bread and old wineskins. In Joshua 9, the nation of Israel has entered the Promised Land, Canaan. They have followed their God in the person of their appointed leader, Joshua, as they have been handed the victory over the godless inhabitants occupying the land. In short, these nations had, by their conduct, warranted God's judgment; God's people had been tasked with the exclusive worship of Him, holiness, and obedience. Obedience, in this case, required the children of Israel to distribute the Canaanites' earnings by military means and eliminate those who, by their deviant behavior, would corrupt the morals of Israel. The reputation of Israel's God had preceded their arrival, and nations were clamoring to get ahead of what would surely be their end. The Gibeonites had devised a plan; dress as travelers, sojourners like Israel, from a far-off land who had heard of Elohim's reputation and were coming to meet with Israel in hopes of a peaceful union. Sure, they were lying, but their motives were admirable, right? I mean, absent some sort of betrayal once they were welcomed into the company of new friends, the Gibeonites simply wanted a peaceful solution to their presumed demise. Verse 8 says, We are your servants. They willingly humbled themselves before the leaders of Israel in hopes of making a covenant of peace. And Israel, following the instructions given them in Leviticus 19, made such a covenant, looking to assimilate the people of Gibeon into their culture. 

God's people, however, are called to a higher standard. The problem wasn't really with the pagan people of Gibeon, the problem was with Israel's trust in moldy bread. The Gibeonite retinue had dressed themselves in rags and worn-out sandals; they carried tattered wineskins and bread that had molded and begun to crumble. It made their premise more convincing. Joshua and the men of Israel said, "Hahaha! Nice try, but we have prayed to our God, and we see right through your little charade. You are targeted for termination!" NOPE! No, they did not. Instead, some of the leaders sampled the bread. The moldy bread these charlatans had dredged up from who-knows-where? --the men of Israel tasted it. Even as I type these words, I recall the taste. If I were to accidentally ingest some free penicillin again, it would be immediate recognition. But is the lesson as fixed in my psyche as the visceral consequences? If we're talking about bread, yes. If we're talking about praying, seeking God's will before I accept that invitation, before I schedule that event, before I sign up for that committee, before I take that person at their word, even before I write that article...? I can't say that it is. Like the men of Israel, I am far too attached to my senses; I rely far too often on physical evidence. If Joshua and his advisors had bowed their heads in prayer as instinctively as they examined the goods, they would not have been duped. If I had bowed my head in prayer as instinctively as I followed my thoughts or feelings; if I had weighed all things by God's standards as keenly as I saw them as good or worthwhile (when it really wasn't); if I had sought God's truth as naturally as I employed my own (perceived) autonomy, things would have been different.

As for Joshua and the people of Israel, God demonstrated His infinite mercy toward His people and the citizens of Gibeon. Neither was destroyed. There may have been a tummy ache or two, but neither was destroyed. And as for us, it remains a lesson. God will lead us and protect us when we seek His will continually.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;

Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

~Psalm 34:8

We Need One Another

As our youngest searched for someone to help us retrieve patio cushions perched on top of a huge box on the very top shelf, my vertically advantaged husband was scaling the miles-high racks of the home store. By the time the associate arrived, my mighty hunter had already procured the cushions. Scott --chest out, feeling pretty satisfied, I'm sure --turned the employee away; but he'd barely returned to parade rest when I began placing the hard-won cushions on a lower shelf. A confused look morphed into full-on dismay when I wheeled our cart toward "the prettier ones" a few aisles away. "Don't get married," he teased a young couple walking past. 

My husband and I will be married eighteen years, and it's been an adventure. A lot has changed over those years, and we have certainly changed from who we were when we first met. What has always remained, in good times and bad, is our love for one another and our commitment to this relationship. What began as exploring interesting quirks, laughing over similarities, hearing those stories for the first time, has become familiar, sometimes irritating, but a part of life and a part of who we are as a couple and as individuals. We don't always feel in love --that can be difficult on our best days --but that "piece of paper" everyone poo-poos, that covenant with God, that name-taking oneness... It never changes. We are one. And our love for one another remains constant.

As Mother's Day approaches, however, I'm thinking of other relationships as well; my relationships with our children. I've struggled with parenting. As a young mother, I was hopelessly in love with my children. I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to them. I enjoyed every moment with them. That is, until they threatened independence. Their rebellion was to me a personal threat, a commentary on my failure as a parent. I found myself in a constant state of grief and worry; so much so, I further alienated them with my insecurities.

When my husband and I met, combining his children with mine, I'd matured quite a bit. I imagined an idyllic life with a raucous, laughing brood. It wasn't. We had more than our share of wonderful days, but difficulty and tension always lurked. Children leaving. Adolescents changing. Exes to consider. It all amounted to trips we never took, cookies we never baked, days that never came to fruition. Always because "someone spoiled it." Often that someone was me. So much unfinished business.

And here we are in this season. Not the usual season for folks of our age. And I still find myself struggling. You'd think, by now, I'd be more at ease. But every child is different, right? How do I know what is best for this one? And our adult children are in different seasons. How do I let them be adults without giving them the impression I don't care? And there are grandchildren to love. How to be close without being overbearing? And our marriage is in a different season. Can we please just get a moment ALONE??? And I say all this to say, BUT GOD.

He is for His children, not against them (Psalm 56:9). He will never leave us our abandon us (Hebrews 13:5-6). He loves us with an everlasting love (John 3:16). He is faithful (2 Thessalonians 3:3). And He has given us brothers and sister in Christ to lift us in prayer and encourage us in the way (Galatians 6:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:11). We are not alone in heaven or on earth. We are not alone as husbands and wives or as parents. As believers in Jesus, we run this race together; we are given to one another in community, as members of the body of Christ. We are compelled and commanded to love and lift one another; to pray, pray without ceasing for each other! And the peace of God will guard your heart and mind against fear, against doubt, against those temptations that would destroy your marriage, against the grief over your children gaining independence, against the pain and bitterness of blended families, against anything that would come against you gaining glory for God through your choices!

So, I welcome your prayers. And I'm happy to pray for you as well (Just drop me an email or add a comment). We need one another. For prayer, for words of encouragement, for tears turned to laughter, for sharing one another's burdens, and for those cushions waaaay up there on the top shelf!