To Imbed in Hesed

Earlier this week, I was hanging out in Psalm 26. I'd like to take a look at the first line of verse 3 today:

For Your lovingkindness is before my eyes, (NKJV)

The word translated "lovingkindness," is the Hebrew word hesed. Hesed can be defined as goodness, kindness, or faithfulness, and is often translated as mercy or steadfast love. gotquestions.org says hesed describes a sense of love and loyalty that inspires merciful and compassionate behavior toward another person. Author Lois Tverberg says hesed intervenes on behalf of loved ones and comes to their rescue. Hesed, if I may add my two cents, is fierce Mama Bear love, with Labrador loyalty and Good Samaritan philanthropy, lavished on humanity at the cross in the selfless and bloody sacrifice of One who is perfect love, a promise kept from the time the word was given in the Garden of Eden. Hesed! 

I say all of this to ask, Knowing you are loved in such a way, what does this change about your life? Living your life loved in such a manner enables you to do what, exactly?

I remember when Scott and I first began dating. He was so kind, so encouraging, so thoughtful. It changed the way I thought about myself. I wanted better for myself. I wanted to treat myself better. And, by extension, I wanted the same for those around me. His love changed my point of view! BUT we saw each other daily, we worked together, we talked constantly, we deliberately planned dates and secret, silly rendezvouses in the hall; we surreptitiously made eye contact and called one another when "our song" came on the radio. Moment after moment was spent developing our feelings for one another; our love for one another was forever "before our eyes."

Back to the answers to those questions. Love, especially perfect love is life-altering, transformative. It can produce boldness where only fear lived before, compassion in place of selfishness, gentleness instead of disrespect. BUT lovingkindness must be "before our eyes." The lovingkindness of our Savior --His very character --must be given our attention. Deliberately. 

Why deliberately? Because we are imbedded in a society ruled by the Prince of this world, the Enemy, our Adversary, the Father of Lies, Satan. The culture, the principles and points of view of the world are constantly "before our eyes." Ads, music, expectations, conversations, movies, societal "norms," education. We are bombarded by the world's way of life; we're perpetually indoctrinated. Corporations often send top candidates away to skills development symposiums, pulling them out of the daily work environment to better restructure their thinking and habits in a place designed to facilitate specific results. Why is that? To represent the company, you must think like the company; you must know what it means to truly be part of the company; you must develop some form of love for it and loyalty to it. And we somehow think we can just wing it?! We find ourselves at the foot of the cross, vowing to follow the Lord, and then we step back and wait for the feelings to come. Meanwhile, our thoughts and attitudes --and by extension, our behavior --are being manipulated by the world "before our eyes." How much time out of our day do we take to contemplate the hesed of our Father God, to keep that before our eyes? Without the love of God, we are ineffective. We can't think rightly about ourselves, or want better for ourselves, or treat ourselves better --or anyone else for that matter! As long as our minds are being trained by the world in which we live, we are impotent, foolish, purposeless, and wicked. BUT in keeping the lovingkindness of God before our eyes, in deliberately immersing ourselves in Bible culture and the fellowship and mentorship of other believers, we change our minds and change our lives. Hesed becomes our driving force for obedience and life. We can respectfully disagree when the doctor recommends aborting your child. We can boldly knock on doors and ask for the help when we're told we'll never get it. We can train and plan and rehearse when it appears impossible to qualify. We can share the gospel with others who have rejected it again and again, because the hesed of our Lord and Savior is before our eyes and the ways of the world are nothing more than a faint memory of how things once were.

Midweek: What Do You Say?

DEBATE: to deliberate; consider; to discuss or examine by argument. To strive to maintain by reasoning

I recently posted something opposing abortion. I understand how moral and political differences are things about which we can be passionate, and I do believe there are those who use differences of opinion to divide (and subsequently conquer). I believe intelligent debate is necessary; I urge everyone to listen, respect, but first and foremost, pray. Pray for the other person and their opinion; pray for wisdom and temperance; pray for God to receive glory in the debate. As such, today I am posting my response to those who opposed my point of view. I pray these responses may help others when debating the issue of abortion. I believe the discussion that took place online was not disrespectful or hateful though opinions were very different. I greatly appreciate the grace shown to me by those who engaged.

    The first comment was from someone who assumed I was advocating our country is or should be a theocracy. My post had not mentioned God, but I could understand this person defaulting toward "Evangelical Trumpers." My response was thus:

I'm not an "Evangelical," just someone who can't see how justice is killing another human being for my own bad judgment or outright recklessness; just someone who understands biology and reproduction; just someone who believes when we deny human rights to some humans, we deny human rights to all humans. Neither one of those things -- Evangelical or "Trumpers" --is necessarily a Christ-like point of view.

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    Another said, "Life isn't always so black and white;" a person’s decisions about their body (& their pregnancy) "is for THEM just as yours are for YOU. ...Why is it so difficult to accept how others live & exist? The sooner we learn to accept this, the bigger our capacity is to understand & be content with the world outside of our own." I responded this way:

I don't see how a human being's existence is my choice. I don't see how humanity exterminating itself is a good idea. I don't understand how an innocent person should pay for my bad decisions. I don't agree with denying human rights to any group simply because they are weaker or less verbal or whatever. I'm not advocating prosecuting doctors or couples who must make a life-for-life decision (Mom will die if this pregnancy goes to term) -- that's a "belief" thing to me; but those cases are certainly the exception to the rule in the way abortions are being performed today. You ask, "Why is it so difficult to accept how others live or exist?" I am encouraging just that -- life, existence. "Pro-choice" and "pro-abortion" advocates should ask themselves that question: "Why is it so difficult for me to accept this child was put here to live & exist?"

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    To someone who cites the humanity of abortion in cases of rape or incest, and says those "looking in from the outside" make things appear so black & white. They cite a lack of resources needed to have and raise a child. "If you don't want an abortion then don't have one. Just don't then try to make that choice for me." My response was as follows:

It comes down to determining if we are a society that protects the weakest of its members and does not seek to exterminate itself. Secondly, w/r/t rape or incest, I experienced a level of both. Had a baby been conceived, murdering that child would not have removed the pain and trauma; to believe so is foolish --that is established by the years of pain experienced by many of those who did not conceive a child. Likewise, the "children of rape or incest" should never be burdened with such a label even from conception; they are children (period) and should never be aborted simply because of a terrible biological parent. Lastly, as for my "looking from the outside," I and several of my friends have adopted or are adopting. I and several of my friends have had abortions and greatly regret not only our decisions but the ease with which they were readily available. I and several of my friends live well below the poverty line. To turn the issue over to each state INDIVIDUALLY, making abortion an issue reflective of the LOCAL population's views, does not make it illegal across the board? If the state DOES make it illegal, doesn't that simply mean it's what the majority of its citizens want? Welcome to majority-based legislation.

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    A friend graciously shared her story and her reasons for abortion, admitting she still grieves that decision. She asks if a ten-year old (implied: "rape victim") should have to go through birth and states that some do not have the necessary resources to have or raise a child. She instructs, "not everyone who is Christian is conservative": 

I think, perhaps, we see things differently not because I am "conservative" or "liberal" or whatever, but because I have seen what God can do, and when I can't see it, I am prepared to believe He will do it anyway -- better than I imagine. In Scripture, Christ followers are not only NOT separated into categories but are given a new single identity and are now one family. Christ followers believe everything God says or we don't. When I hear things like "not everyone has..." I wonder just how important are those things. They are as important as we make them. If "not everyone has..." makes abortion permissible, few of us would have been born. Do I really think a ten-year-old should have to go through birth? Of course not, just as a ten-year-old "should not have to" go through cancer or any sort of abuse. Do I think a three-week old baby should be ripped limb from limb? Of course not. Abortion makes it okay to do so to a child in the womb, resting in what is designed to be the safest of all places. Will that help the ten-year old deal with her trauma, or will it simply cause a grief that both you and I have experienced as adults? (Thank you so much for your transparency, by the way. That must have been such a difficult time for you.) As for me "not getting" the health reasons for which people may want to legalize abortion, I'm not saying there is a good solution to rape or birth defects or a mother's health; I'm saying abortion isn't it. And, as has been noted, those cases are certainly in the minority of abortions. I'm sure you know someone who had a stillborn child or lost a child at some point. What a sad, sad thing. And I can't imagine the fear in a mother's heart when a doctor tells her that her child won't live past a certain age or might have a severe disability. But what if the mother of that stillborn had been warned in a dream, or the mother of the child killed in a car accident had some sort of premonition? Grief is a terrible part of this world. We will never eliminate it; abortion multiplies it. God, however, uses even that for His glory. And while I realize not everyone sees this as I do, what sort of light would I be if I didn't warn people that murder solves nothing or encourage people that God can do far more than we expect?

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I hope some portion of this discussion will help you as you navigate debates you may encounter. Do not shy away, but holding fast to the truth of God's law and by the power of the Holy Spirit, engage and proclaim Jesus Christ. Be blessed today!

Worship Is God's Gift to Us

Years ago, my husband forgot my birthday. It was an incredibly busy season, we were both overwhelmed, and I really didn't care. 

Forgive me for forgetting your birthday. Let me make it up to you.

Can a birthday really be "made up for?" Those twenty-four hours have passed. To allow someone to celebrate you doesn't turn back the hands of time, alter the events of a birthday forgotten, or eradicate any insult. The permission one may grant to be honored or indulged shows grace to the offender. For me, the moment had passed, and I was fine with that. Scott's embarrassment had actually made it something of an endearing circumstance. His desire to make up for the oversight was his gift to me; creating opportunity for him to feel as though he could compensate for that was my gift to him.

I was reminded of this as I was reading Psalm 26 the other morning. Verses 1-2:

Vindicate me, O Lord,
For I have walked in my integrity.
I have also trusted in the Lord;
I shall not slip.

Examine me, O Lord, and prove me;
Try my mind and my heart. (NKJV)

Robert Alter, in his translation of this psalm renders it this way:

Judge me, O LORD,

For I have walked in my wholeness,

And the LORD I have trusted.

I shall not stumble.

Test me, O LORD, and try me.

Burn pure my conscience and my heart. (Alter)

Who is bold enough to say to the Lord, "Judge me. I have walked in the salvation, the wholeness, the righteousness You have obtained for me"? Who is strong enough to challenge Him, "Test me. I will pass muster"? Recall, this psalm was written before the Messiah came to us. The psalmist is standing on the basis of his active belief in a promised Redeemer, not yet come; a belief that is so certain, it compels him to obey the laws of God! The psalmist does not have the benefit of historical bloodshed as we do, but actively (proving his trust in a tangible manner) trusts God's word alone. The psalmist continues the list of evidences in verse 4 and 5 (NKJV):

I have not sat with idolatrous mortals,
Nor will I go in with hypocrites.
I have hated the assembly of evildoers,
And will not sit with the wicked.

And in verses 6 and 7, we see the condition necessary to even be permitted to worship our God: 

I will wash my hands in innocence;
So I will go about Your altar, O Lord,
That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving,
And tell of all Your wondrous works. (NKJV)

Alter renders these verses as follows:

Let me wash my palms in cleanness

and go round Your altar, LORD,

to utter aloud a thanksgiving

and to recount all Your wonders. (Alter)

In our legalistic, works-based, self-righteous frame of mind, we think --almost automatically, more by way of reflex --that when we fail, fall short, sin, that to fall on our faces, ask forgiveness, to passionately worship atones in some way for our sin. I'm reminded of monks and zealots flogging themselves. Don't we do the same, only with promises of better behavior, with tears, and with words of adoration? That by exchanging praise or good deeds for self-mutilation, we're somehow doing the more righteous thing? 

These verses tell us we are graciously given even the privilege of praising God. Let me, the Scripture says. Permit me. Our worship is no more our right, it is no more worthy to honor God, than our blood is to atone for our sin. It is only by the precious God-man blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that even our praises or our obedient acts become a fragrant offering to our King. It is all by God's mercy that anything is forgiven and by His grace our offerings are accepted. The restitution for our sin has been determined by the just One we offended and, by His tremendous grace, paid by Him as well. It is His grace that permits us to honor Him! Let me wash my palms and go round Your altar to thank You and worship You.

I have struggled greatly with missing the mark. Day after day of waking up, knowing I spent the day previous failing my Savior, and the words of my journals have reflected that. Page after page of regret and thought about how or where I went wrong, what I can do to make today better. In moments I was given each morning to focus on my Heavenly Father, I have been distracted by self-pity and logistics. And though, at some point, I moved away from those things and began spending that time in worship and true devotion, I see remnants of self-righteousness in the hallowing of the name of God; a self-imposed refusal to focus on sin or the efforts to curtail sin, merely exchanged for worship. But worship itself is a privilege. The doing of good things in response to God's nature is a privilege. As believers, we are made clean for the purpose of bearing our Savior's image, doing His will on earth as easily and eagerly as it is done in heaven, bringing His good news of reconciliation to others, and uttering aloud thanksgiving, recounting all His wonders that He might receive glory in all things. I cannot "make up for" my sin by weeping or working or, even, worshiping, for none of it is enough, but the privilege of it all is by His everlasting grace. Our Heavenly Father allows us the opportunity to adore Him, to feel that we are giving something to One who has given us so much, to experience the cleanness, wholeness, and rightness bestowed on us at the cross. Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!