Last week, I came across some notes from an old sermon. Biblical Femininity is the Gospel High Ground in the Gender War. It is unlike me not to have credited this to a pastor or teacher so, my apologies, I did not. But as I read over the notes, I began to wonder if the person who originally spoke these words had any idea where this "gender war" would go; that, at a point, gender would become "fluid" or more than binary or up for debate. Perhaps the person did not, but God certainly did; and these principles are timely even years later. Using them as a framework, I share what I've been given:
The feminist movement, outside of being used by the enemies of God to accomplish their king's purposes, developed from the abuse, disregard, discrediting, and silencing of a group of people --women. As men's hearts were drawn from God and godly masculinity, they failed as leaders and lovers in their homes. They did not take responsibility for their roles in the way Scripture commands, and they did not cherish their bride and their children as our God does His. As humans are wont to do, however, we swung the pendulum radically the other direction; despising marriage and the raising of children in the fear of the Lord, railing against husbands and men in general, and putting upon women a burden we were never meant to bear and framing it in a huge lie as "autonomy, freedom, and power". We could have career and motherhood (as though motherhood is not). We could be the heads of our homes and the breadwinners (Who needs a man?). We could kill inconvenient children. As a matter of fact, we didn't even have to be women if we didn't want to be!
But isn't that what God said would happen? In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve discover the generational consequences of their disobedience. Verse 16 ends with, "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Relationships corrupted; ours with God, ours with one another. Only Jesus can restore them.
For years, I found playing sports, hanging out with boys, dressing in a much more masculine way to be a safer place than "trying to be feminine." If I failed, if I was awkward and unrefined, there was no judgment --at least, not from the inner voice that condemned me; a voice that emerged because of damaged relationships. My world was hard on girls who didn't fit the feminine model; who weren't Perfect 10s. I looked for a way to escape the judgment. I found it in a more masculine personality. According to the sermon, this is the battleground: You are what you look like. We see this shift today. Rather than donning a wardrobe that reflects the work of God in us, we build our wardrobe to identify our-selves; it's all about what we decide. Ask my husband; we go to a restaurant, I look at the menu, select what I want, but --let's put it this way --shortly before the server comes, he'll ask, "What are you not getting?" Why? He has learned that, though I say I've made my selection, my mind will change at least twice before I actually place my order. This is how some determine identity today. What a scary battleground on which to try to survive, much less thrive! Modesty, femininity, identity doesn't begin with what you wear or feel, but with your core beliefs. When we believe we are created in the image of God, created with love and purpose by a perfect Creator, we can, by the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, walk in that identity with confidence and dress accordingly.
Here are some practical questions for structuring our lives around these biblical truths:
Husbands: Does your wife know your care, enjoy your affection, and experience your admiration? Who has your wife become as a result of knowing you?
Wives: Does your husband find courage and understanding for the battles he faces as a man in this world? Does your husband know your respect, and do you cultivate that respect for him in your children?
Teens: are you seeking your parents' wisdom and evaluation as you relate to the opposite sex?
Single men: Are your interactions with women determined by clear biblical convictions?
Single women: Does your conversation include "man bashing"? Are you praying for all men in leadership?
This is but a rough outline of the words spoken that day, but I trust the Holy Spirit has spoken to you in some way. Identity is important, and our "outward man", our temperament, the clothes we wear, reflect what is in our hearts. But today's society is all about following trends and being relevant, conforming to the zeitgeist. And the onus is on each individual to keep up. That is contrary to following Jesus. He never changes; Scripture never changes. God's truth never moves the goal posts and never leaves us without a Helper. Biblical femininity --biblical identity, for that matter, is the high ground, the place of victory in any conflict.
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