Doin' Too Much

I was listening to a podcast when my husband walked in. You sound like you're having church in here! I had gotten a little animated as I listened to a discussion about "Christian" music artists collaborating with "secular" artists. You know they can't hear you? was his next comment (a purely rhetorical question). I do know that, of course, but there are some things that just chap my hide. My husband playfully endures those moments of my intensity. 

Now, I'll be the first to admit I'm passionate about some things. When I set out to do something, there's little that will stop me. When there's something I want to do, I'm focused. And when it comes to living the life of a Christian, I've had people tell me I'm "doin' too much." Maybe not in so many words. But I've gotten the You-really-take-this-stuff-seriously-don't-you? look. I've been talked down to and shown the door by progressive "Christians." I've had people press me for socially acceptable answers after I've already told them Jesus is my Protector, Provider, Sustainer, and Teacher. And I've gotten propped up on a pedestal or two. But watering down the Gospel or living half-heartedly for Jesus is just not something I want to do. If you've got a minute, I'd love to share some of my reasons with you.

First of all, life with the God of the Bible is a covenant; a life in which I promise to live for Him because He died for me. I promise to give Him all the glory and honor He deserves because I was made to do that, and I am most myself when He is most adored by me. I promise to faithfully obey and serve the One who is infinitely faithful to me. I promise to give Him all He has given me, for rendering all to Him leaves me empty and prepared to receive more. This God, my God gave, gives, and promises to give me all of Himself, and I can only hope to imitate His devotion. I take my commitments seriously.

Secondly, where does one draw the line? At what point does one say, "Yes, I have loved You quite enough for now. I'll be taking a break and keeping this paycheck, this day, this opportunity, this thing for myself." Is there any possibility of outgiving God and pausing to allow Him a moment to "catch up"? Do we not know He owns the cattle on a thousand hills? All we have has come by His hand to ours; His grace is how it came to be there. The only line I honor is the one to the altar.

Third, I'm unwilling to miss the blessing of being fully given over to Him. If I am my best self when I am praising and serving the God who made me, why would I hold anything back? If I am closest to Him, most like Him when I am fully obedient, why would I choose to follow the ways of the world? The more I give, the more like Him I shall be! Why would I want to miss out on that?

And fourth, brownies. Yes, brownies. Years ago, I heard of a wonderful object lesson for youth: serve brownies but tell the teens some dog poop was accidentally found its way into the batter. Would they still eat them? The point of the lesson was, a little or a lot, poop is poop and no one wants it baked throughout their brownies. Sin, a little or a lot, should be just as repulsive when it comes to our lives. How did it get there? Maybe, little by little. Regardless, it corrupts our entire existence. When I say I won't use "awesome" for anyone but God, and I won't take His name in vain, it's not some rule God makes me follow...or else! It's because words have power, and some I reserve just for Him. When I say I won't cheat on my taxes or tell a "little white lie," it's not because I think I'm better than those who do; it's because I want to be holy as my Heavenly Father is holy. When I say I won't wear a certain dress or listen to a certain type of music or watch a certain show, it's not about being a prude; it's because letting down the guard over my heart, even for a moment, can cause old behaviors to become more acceptable to me again. When I refuse to go to self-checkout in order to avoid the temptation to steal, it's not because the Gospel is weak; it's because I am. Sin has no place in the life of God's child; we are called to purity for our own sake and God's glory. 

Perhaps I am too intense for some folks. Perhaps I am over-zealous. Perhaps those who settle for less and do less can be just as happy in their lives as I am in mine. But I'm looking to thrive, to flourish, and I'd rather be doin' too much than wishin' I'd done more.

   

Midweek: Step Three

I stood there in the dressing room arguing with my budget.

But these are so cute! They're summer jeans.

"It's not summer," my budget said.

Okay, but what if I put the shirt back?

"That frees up fifteen dollars. The jeans are thirty-five."

Eeny-meeny-meiny--

"Stop right there. You're being stupid. You know you want the summer jeans more than the winter jeans. You know, if you land on the winter jeans you'll just add all of that extra 'My mother told' me nonsense to get the summer jeans. Then you'll turn around later and just buy other winter jeans!"

My budget is ruthless, but she's right. So, I made a decision: the summer jeans will have to wait.

Step Three of recovery is: I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. A decision. That means there can only be one. Sure, you can make a decision about where to go for breakfast and a decision about how much you're willing to spend when you get there. But once you've decided on where to go, once you're seated and the waitress has brought the coffee, you're sort of locked in. Once you've looked at the price of the Eggs Benedict and ordered the oatmeal and toast, you've made your decision. There comes a point of no return. That's what making a decision means: weighing options and information, and making the best possible selection. When we consider Step Three in light of the previous steps, we are forced to make a decision; to stay where we are would be insanity. But does it have to be so radical? I mean, turn your life over? to God?

Well, let's look at the language of Steps One and Two. Step One: powerlessness over addiction... an unmanageable life. Sounds pretty serious. To be powerless is to be completely without power, like a power outage. No lights or coffee maker or AC. Even those sounds we're used to hearing cease --the fridge, the dryer, the alarm system. That dearth of power can cause things to become very unmanageable. How do I get ready for work at 2AM if I can't see? What will I do with all of these wet clothes in the washer? Food spoils. We've seen looting and violence take place. Life changes dramatically, and in some respects, stops. Serious.

Step Two: I came to believe... greater than myself. Back to those jeans. If I believed there were no consequences to my overspending, it wouldn't matter what my budget said; I would have gotten the winter jeans, the summer jeans, and the shirt. But since I know my budget is a non-negotiable, non-variable truth, it's best to go with that. Sure, I'm free to believe something that isn't true, but why? My budget is that power greater than myself in this instance. Believing in it keeps us out of the poorhouse and allows me the freedom to spend on other things our family needs. Belief in a power greater than my own self-control or my own desires was a crucial factor in my dressing room decision. And the belief in a Power (Jesus) greater than ourselves, who sets us free, who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask or imagine, is essential in moving us from Step One to Step Three: the decision to trust that Power. And why would we not?

This world --and America in particular --is full of options. You don't like this job? Apply elsewhere. Sure, they have mayo, but it's not my brand of mayo! There's another market within walking distance. I got it home and really didn't like it. Will that be cash back or store credit? It is so easy for us to "make a decision" then change our minds. How many of us really know what it means to stick with something? I don't think the divorce rate would be quite so high if we did. To make a decision is to cross the Rubicon, to declare the die will be cast; that whatever happens, we're in it for the long haul. To make a decision is to understand and pledge, there is no going back; that our choice is our choice, as if there are no others. And, if we are serious about recovery, if we are deciding to trust our freedom to Jesus as One greater than ourselves (or any other, for that matter), there is no reason to renege and no thing about which to argue. 

What Could You Do with a Clean Slate?

Christians are always talking about salvation, the cross, the forgiveness of sins. What, exactly, does all of that mean, and what does it have to do with living day-to-day in this world? Recently, we were given a VERY INTENSE object lesson that, I believe, will help explain it.

Scott and I are not "workers" in the corporate sense. Years ago, when I had a taste of what it meant to climb the corporate ladder, I found a rung that worked for me and stayed put. I was a mom, and that was more important to me than a title. Even as our children left the nest, I found more "eternal" things to do. Those things keep me just as busy as ladder-climbing ever could. Scott is not a "work for the man" kind of guy: he is creative and thinks veeeery independently. He has the ability to stay busy all day long, but we haven't quite found a cash-rich market for a uniquely artistic loner. We don't live high on the hog by any means. We are accustomed to a month or two in which every bill cannot be covered. We are accustomed to having no savings or vacation fund. We wait, God supplies, and we do our best to steward our resources well. We have questioned and prayed and questioned some more but God always steps in, and we take that as an indication we are where we need to be. By September of this year, however, frugality finally gave way like an old rubber band. --SNAP!-- Medical concerns, a terrible season for home improvements, and unforeseen expenses took us to a level of poor we'd never encountered before. We had nothing to give. We longed to simply breakeven; we longed for the freedom of a clean slate.

The Gospel of Luke records the healing of a crippled woman who spent eighteen years of her life looking at everyone's feet. God, through Luke, says she could in no way raise herself up. In no way! She had no resources. Her muscles would not pull her skeleton to an upright position. She had nothing to give! But Jesus... He loosed her, He touched her, and she was made straight! Scripture says she glorified God. Of course she did! can you imagine the relief? Eighteen years of bending your neck and straining your vision in an attempt to look someone in the eye. Eighteen years of being pitied or ignored or rejected. Eighteen years of being unable to work, depending on the generosity of others just to eat. Eighteen years! And in a moment, it was changed. The world became full of possibility: she could work, she could dance, she could meet the gaze of those around her. She was freed! Imagine the liberation of a clean slate!

So, what does salvation, the cross, the forgiveness of sin have to do with living day-to-day in this world? What does it mean? A clean slate for those who have nothing to give. A clean slate for those who can in no way raise themselves to a perfect, right-with-God standing. Romans 3:23, tells us all have sinned, and we fall short of the glory of God; a God who cannot be one with unrighteousness. Scripture states there is none righteous, and the penalty of that unrighteousness, our sin, is death. With a debt such as that, we can never have relationship with our Creator. That is, unless Someone pays that penalty for us, in our place; unless Someone steps in and becomes the Way in which we can be made straight. Jesus is the Way. He pays the cost, leaving us debt-free! The charges against us have been erased and we have a clean slate! The burden of our debt is removed along with the debt itself! Imagine the liberation of a clean slate!

It's October, and for Scott and me, a HUGE chunk of our debt has been paid. GOD! (I'll leave that explanation for another day, perhaps.) The freedom, the lightness, the relief we feel gives a whole new way of looking at things! We have the opportunity to stash a bit away for emergencies and save for charitable causes. We can think about going on vacation next year and plan for some home repairs. And while we are far from being as unburdened as having the debt of our past, present, and future canceled for all eternity, I can get a feel for the healing of that woman Jesus touched. Would she have to now find a way to live in this world? Sure, but she wouldn't have to do it with such a heavy load, with charge after charge counted against her. That is the message of salvation, the cross, and the forgiveness of sin. We are made right with God, but the liberation Jesus purchased for us is not exclusively for some "far off" day when we are escorted into heaven. It is for today! It allows us to walk in freedom. It provides opportunities to love and serve that would not be possible without the work of His Holy Spirit in our hearts. It is the clean slate
we need to live in this world but not like the world. It brings us upright in a way we could in no way achieve and sets us on a new path as servants of and with infinite resources provided by a God who paints His name across the skies and demonstrates His incredible intelligence in DNA. He uses those He redeems to reveal Himself to the rest of humanity in a most glorious way! And it all begins with a clean slate.