My mother was a human being, an individual. Now, it might seem silly to make that point --Of course, she was! you exclaim. But the reality is, it is often most difficult to see those with whom we are most familiar outside of the context of our relationship. For instance, as the daughter of Helen Chambers, it is always a revelation to me when I discover she was more than my mother. She had another child, a husband, siblings, neighbors, friends, fellow employees, a boss... It's self-centered, I know, but we all tend to see people or situations exclusively in light of their impact upon us.
As we were heading to an event the other day, we passed what was once the home of one of my mother's workmates. Mom ran a snack shop at what was one of the first "retirement villages" in our area, and this woman, Shirley, worked with her. I remember my mother picking up Shirley for work. Now, Mom was not exactly a social butterfly. She valued her independence; always preferring to drive rather than carpool. She never just "did lunch" with friends or hung out after church (unless it was to serve for some function). But there was something about Shirley that my mother liked, and she and Shirley developed a friendship. As we passed Shirley's former home, the memory of my mother helping her came back to me and, like a rush, came the thought, My mother was a real person! She didn't have to do that like she had to make dinner night after night or pick us up after school -- Not that she had to do those things either, but my childish mind saw it that way. Mom didn't have to go out of her way by miles to pick up her employee or leave extra early because traffic in Shirley's area was generally heavier than in ours. But she did it. And in so doing, taught me two very important lessons:
1) Be generously kind. Mom loved helping --sometimes to a fault. Her generous kindness was, to her, just the right thing to do, the way she had been raised. Had Mom allowed herself to receive the kindness of Jesus in those years and be used of Him as a vessel --Oh, what good could have come of it! But our Lord and Savior is kind. When she had what I believe to be an encounter with her Savior in her final year or so on earth, her life already bore the marks of one lived in a spirit of generous kindness. In fact, it is God's kindness that leads us to repentance, and it is our imitation of Christ, being kind, bearing one another's burdens in His strength and by His command that points others to glorifying our God in heaven.
2) See people as people. These times that a new perspective is revealed to me are times for which I am infinitely grateful. God is generously kind despite my foolishness! But how much better it would have been if I had taken the time while she was still with us; asked her about her motives, asked her what she liked about Shirley or why she went so far out of her way for this one woman. Did she do it begrudgingly? Or because to leave Shirley stranded was to shoulder the day's workload alone? Did she realize she was teaching her children generosity and kindness? My mother, like all of us, had hopes and dreams. Her life, like many of ours, was never necessarily as she planned or would have liked. She had children who saw her as little more than a resource, a boss, a turbulent marriage, an aging vehicle, nosey neighbors --all of those things with which we might struggle. But she was a person who tried to be kind, to herself and to others; a woman who, when called to do so, always picked Shirley up.
Happy Heaven-iversary, Ma!
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