Saturday, April 17, 2021

Exchanging Our Values for Priceless Treasure

It's been almost seven years now, but it seems like always. It's funny how being a part of something wonderful can become so comfortable you can't remember what life was like before that. Or you can't remember what you saw in your old life that made the transition so difficult.

Seven years ago, we were forced to leave our church home. I'd grown up there; my children had grown up there; but, things had changed. They'd stopped preaching from the Bible. In fact, when I used the phrase, "inerrant Word of God" to refer to the Bible, I was corrected. Apparently, the word "inerrant" as it applies to Scripture is offensive. When the discussion moved to Creation, I was told, "Well, we just don't know how the universe was created." Then came the sermon about praying for the dead that they might be raised to life in heaven. Later! Here's the thing, though -- it hurt to leave. I was angry we'd been given no choice. I was angry heretics had taken over the place I loved, where I was happy worshiping and serving. I thought there'd never be a church that would measure up, and I couldn't fathom calling any other church, "home."

The first time we walked into our now, and "oh!-wouldn't-it-be-wonderful-if-forever" church home, I wanted to cry. A friendly woman met us at the door, and I didn't want to like that. We walked into the hall where people were talking and laughing as they ate breakfast, and I didn't want to talk, or laugh, or eat. I wanted my old Sunday morning back. How foolish I was! In this family, we were accepted from the door; we have been loved on in ways I never dreamed; we have grown in our relationships; we have been taught and led, and as I said, I'd be happy if we stayed here forever. I cannot, for the life of me, think of one thing that would cause me to pine for our old church, and I cannot believe our place in this family is only seven years old. Our time here has been priceless.

In Philippians 3:7-14, Paul had experienced a similar transition and, as a result, a similar transformation. When it came to Judaism, Paul called himself "a Hebrew of Hebrews:" he was all in. He was a law expert, a Pharisee. He was most zealous, working to imprison or eliminate those who disagreed with Jewish law. He'd been so dedicated to obeying and serving the law, he called himself "blameless" by his efforts. He wore his achievements as a garment of righteousness. But, Paul left behind his life of religion and was no longer who he used to be. His life of structure and security, prestige, performance, and authority; the life he'd been born into, had been comfortable living, was no more. He had been forced out when he met Jesus on a road going to Damascus. There was no way he could stay in his old life; there was just far too much about it that was wrong. Years later, as he wrote to the church at Philippi, Paul said the things he once valued were nothing to him. Compared to the excellence of knowing Christ, every self-serving, self-righteous thing he had loved was trash. He longed for his identity to be that of Christ alone: "Look at me and see what the Lord has done." And he pressed on toward becoming perfected in Christ. He had by no means arrived, as he once thought; there was still so much more for him to learn, and so much more of his old flesh that needed to put to death that he might reflect Christ more and more each day. His transition, from worshiping the law of God to surrendering to the Son of God, brought about an outward transformation. And he wasn't going back. Paul wrote thirteen of the the twenty-seven books of the New Testament, took the gospel to the world on three missionary journeys, mentored other Christian leaders and saints, and eventually died a martyr. The ripples of his life are immeasurable and the value of God's work through him is priceless.

Change can be hard, especially when it comes to leaving the people and places with which we are accustomed. When God leads the way, however, when the transition is by His design, greatness can happen. Transformation can happen. And the things we once loved can lose their value, while the things God gives are priceless. Obey Him and trust Him for the outcome.

Thursday, April 15, 2021

The Past Few Days

She woke up humming on Tuesday. That night she went to bed talking. "Your robe! It's beautiful!" Just a day before, and many days before that, Mom struggled to communicate. Gestures and partial words, eye movements gave me inklings as to what she was trying to say. It was easy when she wanted something to eat or drink, anything else left her frustrated and my heart breaking for her. But, Tuesday? This was new. Even the humming. Most days her noises were pops and chirps, banging and tapping on the table, with no rhythm or reason to it whatsoever. The perpetual cacophony grated on my nerves, but her level of agitation, and eyes that were vacant but for fear, left me feeling so helpless. There was no end in sight for either of us. 

Wednesday, some time around 10 am, Mom came alive. Her eyes no longer searched for me, for cues, for something to reassure her this was normal. She was animated and laughing. The "thing" she always did before her brain began to betray her, that sarcastic, superior, mocking thing she did when it came to things that were not her taste? There it was, in all its glory. What would normally ignite a disgust in me was a welcome site. "Let her snark, let her snip, let her get as offended and opinionated as she wants to be, at least she is alive," I thought. And she did. I dropped what I was doing and gave her my attention. I fueled that fire. I asked her if she liked my kitchen tiles. NO! I asked her if she wanted to go outside. NO! I asked her if she wanted me to go outside. YES! She hid behind her napkin. She talked to the "others" who were present with us. (We were alone) I rejoiced in the goodness of seeing Mom delusional but alert. 

Today? Well, it's a bit more of the same, although, today we have gone tile by tile. Do you like this one? NO! This one? YES! Do you want to go outside? It's too cold! Do you want me to go outside? YES! (I guess some things never change.) We have laughed. We have teased. She has been ceaseless energy and commentary. She has gushed over the cat and made faces behind my husband's back. We've listened to Big Bands and worship music. She has had my undivided attention; and, at this moment, as I type, she has quieted and begun to cat nap. There is a calm and blessedness that has settled in this place. There is a hope I've not felt for a long time. Has Mom been "cured" to some extent? I don't mean that, but this is a good day. These have been some very good days. I am grateful. And, to not share, even the smallest blessings we are given, is to withhold praise. So allow me to go on record as saying, "Thank You, Lord, for the last few days!"



Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Much More Than Less Than

We walked to the back of the store, dresses slung over our arms. Prom dress shopping. In the fitting area, two girls were already trying on their selections. Both girls were blonde, both girls were accompanied by their mothers, but that's where the similarities ended. They were two very different heights and two very different shapes, from different schools, with different tastes. And in comes our teeny-tiny, out of state, brunette to stir the brew with her edgy bent. I watched each one twist and sway on raised platforms; they grimaced and grinned in front of the huge mirror, long trains coiling about their legs as they stood on tippy toes that mimicked glass slippers. I wondered if they knew how beautiful they were. I thought back to my teen years and how insecure I was. I wasted so many good days; once-in-a-lifetime experiences with friends were soured by obsessing over being too fat or I had too many pimples. I wondered if these young women, who were by far more shapely and statuesque than I was at that age, were feeling the same way. I have been told, with many of us -- even the "best" of us -- we feel never "beautiful enough," and I was sure they felt that, too. A harsh word regarding one's choice of dress confirmed it. This gorgeous young lady dissolved in tears right there in the dressing room. She, for all her beauty, felt less than.

A week later, I was talking to a friend -- a male friend. He said something so harsh, so hurtful, I shut down. His comment tapped into that "less than" within me, and my spirit was crushed. That night, I tossed and turned; I was hurt. A friend had recently spoken five simple words that popped into my head: "Have you prayed about it?" So I did. As I prayed, it became clear to me, those hurtful words, were spoken out of his feeling "less than." Primarily, I guess I never thought about men struggling with insecurity, but furthermore, seeing such a wound inflicted upon me, not because he thinks of me as "less than," but because that's how he views himself? That was revolutionary to me. I prayed he would allow God to show him just how deeply he is loved. I prayed his eyes would be opened to how perfectly God designed him for the plans He has for him. I prayed he would find shelter in the Lord and confidence through his identity in Christ. I prayed I would be the friend he needs. 

And I'm praying today for all of our young men and women, for all of us who from time to time struggle with feeling "less than." (Which is a much better option than running up to each one begging and pleading for them not to waste their bounteous young lives on nonsense like, "Am I pretty enough?" I'd considered it that day in the dress shop, but arrest was not the plan.) I am praying that each of us will discover God's plan for our lives and who we are in Him. I am praying we can take our eyes off of ourselves and see one another through the eyes of Christ who loved us and gave Himself for us.

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Pop Quiz: How Good Are You?

How good are you? In Jesus' encounter with the rich young ruler (Mark 10:15-17), the young man calls Him "good." Jesus tells him, "No one is good but One, that is, God." Goodness is the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). If we measure goodness by our success in obeying the Ten Commandments, how do we fair? That reality hit me just the other day.

The question that appeared in Nancy Guthrie's study, The Word of the Lord: Seeing Jesus in the Prophets, was this:

"Let's open our Bibles to the Ten Commandments found in Deuteronomy 5. When you look over this list of commands, can you give testimony to the way in which the Holy Spirit has worked in your life to write one of these on your heart? How have you experienced God at work, giving you the desire and the power to obey one of these commands?"

Before I opened my Bible, my mind went to what would probably be the easiest one for all of us: "Thou shall not murder." I got this! Until the Holy Spirit brought this to mind: "Anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. (Matt. 5:21-22 MSG)" Oh. Still turning pages, I recalled, "Thou shall not steal." Yeah, maybe not that one either. I reached Deuteronomy 5, and my eyes scoured all of The Ten for something I could use to plead innocence:

You shall have no other gods before Me.

You shall not make for yourself an idol.

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Honor your father and your mother.

You shall not murder.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

You shall not covet anything that is your neighbor’s.

I remembered those moments just last week, when saying what was on my lips was more pressing to me than honoring the Lord who reigns in my heart. I remembered the item the cashier neglected to ring up that, once I checked my receipt, I failed to make right. I remembered the Sunday I decided to do a load of laundry before church, and then some dishes, and then some writing -- not only did I never make church, but I never even spent any quiet time before the Lord that day. Putting other things -- myself mostly -- before God. Stealing. Profaning the Sabbath. On and on. In the last year, I could honestly say, perhaps not by the letter of the law, but certainly by the spirit of the law, I'd violated each and every one. My heart sank. What kind of Christian am I?

The kind that, even though she's been walking this path for quite a few years now, needs Jesus everyday. The kind that is saved only by grace and not by works. The kind that bears the righteousness of Christ, and not her own. The kind that needs to take a look at the law from time to time, to be reminded of how greatly, in her own strength, she misses the mark, and what a blessed day it was that Jesus hung in her place and made her acceptable before a just God and good Father. The kind that knows, although she doesn't get it right each and every time, and in the day to day can make a real mess of things, she has the desire to please God and He is still teaching her to grab on to His power to obey.

"Oh, how I love Your law! 

It is my meditation all the day."
~Psalm 119:97 

"For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man."
~Romans 7:22

P. Graham Dunn

Monday, April 12, 2021

Hanging On by a Thread

About a month ago, a pastor friend lost his wedding band. He looked everywhere, prayed, and found it in a pretty logical spot, given the chores he was doing that day. Later, on Facebook, he posted his story along with the comment, "Don't ask why I waited six hours to pray... please... don't ask..." I wanted to comment, "It's because, when it takes me five hours to pray about a headache I've been struggling with all morning, I don't feel so bad." Haven't we all been there? I could totally relate to what he was saying. Why do seasoned Christians, people I would consider to be "the best of the best" -- never mind them -- why do I (when I know what God has taken me through and all He has done for me) wait so stinkin' long to ask God for His help??? It's crazy, right! And, it's our flesh. No one is "the best of the best." We all battle our human nature -- some days more than others. 

Mark 5:25-34 records the account of a woman who had been hemorrhaging for twelve years. It said she had "suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all she had." This woman may have once been well-to-do. The trouble began, and she headed to the first physician; but day after day, doctor after doctor, and payment after payment, she only got worse. Chances are, by the time she crossed paths with Jesus, she had exhausted all her options. She'd spent years away from her family and friends, not wanting to render anyone "unclean" should they touch her. Perhaps there were those willing to look her in the eye, demonstrate some compassion; but most just turned away wondering what she had done to deserve a twelve year sentence. Weak, penniless, alone, and almost as invisible as the street dogs that went about searching for scraps, she pulled her cloak over her head, crouched down low, and made her way to Jesus.

But, is this simply the story of a woman chronically ill, isolated and all out of options? Is this the story of a woman who thought, "What have I got to lose?" Is this a woman who, when all else failed, turned to Jesus? It might seem that way at first glance, but look at verse 28:

“If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.”

This was no last ditch effort. This woman had faith. The word rendered in most translations as well, literally means "saved or restored." This woman said to herself, "If only I can cling, as long as I am able, to His clothes, salvation is mine." This woman had spent all of her money on doctors, had spent a great portion of her time away from others, but she was waiting. Waiting for the One who could truly save her. Not exhausting all other options before she found Jesus, but, exhausting all other options until she found Jesus. Until real restoration was hers.

Jesus, knowing that power had left Him. looked for her, and upon coming face to face with her said, "Daughter, your faith has made you well.” The word well? That's right, "saved." Her faith had indeed saved her. And that twelve year disorder that had broken down her body and her life? "Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction," Jesus told her. Healed. A word that meant physically restored. A word, I'm sure she longed to hear, but only after she was sure she had touched the cloak of her Savior.

So, I'm going to pray more -- even about the little things. But I'm also going to stop beating myself up over "not praying soon enough." I'm going to just hold on -- even if it's by a thread, so long as it's a thread on the hem of my Savior's robe.