Are You for Real?

Years ago, Scott and I were given the responsibility to care for two beautiful little children. We loved them with our whole hearts. We protected them fiercely. To us, they were ours. Until they weren't. Circumstances changed, and those two beautiful little children were removed from our home. We were devastated. But, even in that emptiness and the ache of loss, I determined to keep my eyes on my Deliverer, my Redeemer; I refused to say "it" was over. As a matter of fact, I told a coworker one day, "God slammed that door so hard and so loud, I know He is going to do something fabulous." The coworker, who had mocked my belief in an "imaginary" God time and time before, looked me directly in the eye, curled his lip and hissed, "He's not. He's not." Oh, how wrong he was! Praise God, those two beautiful little children, their sibling, and their parents are a beloved part of our lives today. Restoration. Mercy. Redemption. That, my friends, is reality!

I say all of this because, so often, we place our eggs in the wrong basket. We look at the calendar, we fixate on our circumstances, we live and die by the balance in our checking account, we invest our time and worry in things that are part and parcel of our physical world without even considering the spiritual realm. We take our first breaths in the physical world; our bones grow, and our muscles become stronger. We go to school to develop our minds in preparation for what is known as "adulthood." We experience seasons and failures, our first kiss, the flu, sunburn, the spray of a waterfall, the death of a parent, the birth of a child, corn on the cob. All the beauty and heartache of the natural world; but it is only a picture of the spiritual part of us. It is real (for now), but it is not all. Our bodies and our minds are not the end of us. Our spirit is that which is eternal --eternally living or eternally dying. 

Look waaay back to the Garden of Eden, and you will find an event that changed the course of human history, The Fall of Man. Romans 5:12 says that through Adam, sin infected us all; by this, as well as our own sin, we are responsible to pay the penalty demanded by moral law --death. There is no option, the moment we are conceived, we are obligated to pay. However, and this is the Good News, Jesus (God) came as a physical being, died in our place, was resurrected and now sits in Heaven, the Mediator for all who would believe. What does all of this have to do with spirituality? Read it again, starting with "Look waaay back..." The physical existence of the garden, of humanity, of the cross and the empty tomb cannot be separated from the spiritual consequences of sin, from the Eternal God who ransomed us or the eternal life (or death) that is a part of our personal stories. We may not pay it any mind, we may not think about hell or the spirit realm, but like it or no, we are spiritual beings --even more so than physical beings! We are physical beings for a short time in light of eternity; we are spiritual beings forever. How we live in this physical world for this brief cycle of life is not the end of us, and when we live as if it is, we miss the point entirely. To fail to hope because "too much time has passed," or to fall into depression because of our circumstances, to hold back our tithe because of the little numbers at the bottom of the page, to spend time ranting and raving, worrying and fretting, plotting and planning when we should be praying and fasting, to live our lives as though the physical world is paramount (or even, tantamount) to the spiritual realm is foolishness and an affront to God who is Spirit and is most certainly not imaginary. 

I pray, of course, that eternal life is a part of your story. I pray that it's a part of the way you live today, in light of eternity, in obedience to the Holy Spirit, and not by the demands of the physical world. I pray that your spiritual eyes might be opened to all God can do in your situation, and I pray that God will become more real to you each and every day as you trust and submit to Him.

Midweek: The Cockroach Theory

Welcome to Wednesday. This one crossed my path on Facebook --not my usual source of literature or wisdom, but this one is so true! We cannot control the situations in which we find ourselves, but we can control our response. The regular study of Scripture, worship, gratitude, and obedience retrains our brains to better behavior.

"The Cockroach Theory"

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.

She started screaming out of fear.

With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.

When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story:

I understood I should not react in life; I should respond.

The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought out.

A beautiful way to understand LIFE: 

The HAPPY person is not happy because everything is RIGHT in his Life; he is HAPPY because his Attitude toward everything in his Life is Right!

Happily Ever After Is Coming

And they all lived happily ever after. So deeply imbedded in my psyche were these words, when I took high school literature classes, I struggled --greatly. Reading was my escape, my safe place. When everything around me was uncomfortable and unstructured, the order found in the stories I read was a panacea for my insecurity. The protagonist, the antagonist, the climax, and the euphoric resolution. It was all so neat and tidy. But Death of a Salesman? The Great Gatsby? What was I supposed to do with such pathos? What were themes and literary tools to me? I was simply rushing through all of the drama to get to the happy ending. Until there was none. Sometimes there isn't a happy ending --at least not one that meets our expectations or abides by our schedules. 

We love formulas; easy --or manageable, at least --solutions to the things we encounter. Our stomachs growl and we provide it with food. We go to work each day and collect our pay at the end of the week. Problem, solution, problem, solution, again and again. One happy ending after another. Creation itself testifies to the orderly God who created it. The sun rises, the sun sets, day gives way to night year after year. Spring follows Winter without fail; bitter, barren cold is always overcome by warmth and new life. The Bible is one intense saga of good broken by evil; the Hero enters, and evil is ultimately defeated, allowing good to reign eternally. Every word of it is true. But right now, we are living somewhere between the past eternity and the perfect eternity. Good has come, the Hero has arrived. It is Jesus, the Savior. He died that we and all of those before us and after us might be absolved of our responsibility to pay the price for our sins. He died that we might live free, that we might have an eternal quality of life even as our bodies exist in the bonds of mortality, even as we await that perfect eternity. There is still an evil ruler in this world. The physical has not yet been brought into agreement with the spiritual, and we are, as yet, unable to experience that ultimate happy ending --no matter how hard we race toward it, no matter how vehemently we demand it or expect it. But God, we pray, my plan is good. We need healing, we need a new place to live, our sons and daughters need to know Jesus. We hear the clock ticking and see the pages turning on the calendar. Time is running out and this hasn't yet been resolved. We're counting down the pages of this story, waiting for the Hero to once again make an entrance and save the day. Willy is still wallowing in his own delusions; Gatsby is dead. How can any of this be good?!

The perfect eternity has not yet come. We know the truth of the past, we know what God can do, and we must allow the wings of Hope to carry us through these days and into the perfect eternity. Prayer is answered, bodies are healed, obedience is rewarded, but not always in agreement with our timetable, and not always in the way we anticipate. It is by the blessed assurance of the past eternity we are able to proceed toward the perfect eternity. We can't always see it, we don't always like it, we may not even understand it, but we trust. We trust our Hero and we endure by the truth of His unchangeable character. We may not yet see our happily ever after, but we are promised it is there. In the meantime, we are tasked with being still and knowing. We are tasked with worship and prayer. We are tasked with going forth into all the world and sharing the Good News. We are tasked with loving others and seeking justice and caring for those in need. We are tasked with surrendering our selves that we might be transformed as we do these things. We've not been asked to rewrite one chapter. God's timing is perfect, and He is the ultimate designer, author, artist, and creator. No matter what we think or wish for outcomes, we have to know His are best; the perfect eternity, the happily ever after is yet to come!

In

It's been almost six months since my mother was completely released from the bonds of humanity. It sounds glorious, doesn't it? No more pain and confusion; no more waking up to unfamiliar faces. Mom is youthful, not just restored, but made whole --a wholeness she could never truly experience in this world! Where do I sign, right? Well, if you know Jesus, yours is coming. The One who is faithful and true, the One who keeps His promises has given His Spirit as a pledge of His word. And while all of that brings me tremendous comfort, my mother's absence has left a void so large I am still discovering its depths.  

Today, for instance, arrived as perfect walking weather. Lu and I and others from our neighborhood took advantage --including one of my mother's old friends just emerging from the winter. Of course I said hello, and of course he asked for my mom. She passed in October, I said gently. My condolences to you and your family, he replied. And I thought that was nice. Some part of my soul needed that. Almost six months later, I could finally receive it. At the time of her death, so many wonderful people wrote and texted and spoke beautiful sentiments, sweet remembrances of her, and kindnesses I could have never imagined! I was surrounded by love, but I was so numb and, at the same time, so overwhelmed by the compassion of others, it was difficult to process all of those things occurring simultaneously. Grief and comfort, pain and love, attempts to keep my heart in check so life could continue, focusing on "the good" I knew to be true over "the bad" I knew to be equally true. But today, with those kind words --My condolences to you and your family -- my heart felt the pain of loss but truly received comfort for the first time. No brushing it off as though I needed to hold it together, no clock ticking within my head,  measuring the time I'm in my feelings; just an experience of blessing in grief. Blessing.In.Grief. Not in place of, but all the while. 

In this world you will have trouble; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33

The Greek word translated "trouble" in this Scripture means oppression, affliction, distress, tribulation. This is going to hurt! It will not be easy! We will grieve, we will fall down, we will lose friends and be overdrawn on our accounts; we will receive death sentences and divorce papers and pink slips; we will watch our children walk away from every good thing we taught them and gave them; we will be falsely accused, we will question our faith, we will watch our dreams go up in smoke, we will be tempted by something so strong it makes our bodies ache. But be of good cheer, keep your head up, have courage, take comfort, imitate Christ, remain kind, guard your tongue, worship, hope. Why? Because Jesus has overcome all of that! We can sing and laugh while we weep and strive. In Christ, we have life, and abundantly! 

Jesus is brutally honest when He says this physical world will make it difficult for us to live spiritually; it can draw us away from eternity by its troubles (and sometimes by its pleasures). But by His power, trusting what He says is true, and hoping in all He has promised (guaranteed by what He has already done!), we can know that in God's time, relief, rescue, glory will come. We may not yet be completely released from the bonds of humanity in that we still reside here in flesh and bone, but in Christ, our spirits are free from following the dictates of this world's travails. We can bear loss and sadness deep within our souls because we have truth and hope. We can feel the weight of childlessness in our bodies because we have truth and hope. Our stomachs can growl with hunger while we stand on truth and have hope. Our very bones can ache from the illness that threatens to steal our joy, but one need not supplant the other; we stand on truth and hope. Our lives are built on Jesus while we traverse this physical realm, while we experience its limitations and adversities. Physical coexisting with spiritual. Because of Jesus, however, our spirit is not beholden to the physical; the spirit alone is eternal and imbued with the power that raised Jesus from His grave. Joy in pain. Peace in turmoil. Worship in fearfulness. Blessing in grief. 

And, as always, it is my prayer that you are found in Jesus on the day you too are completely released from the bonds of humanity.

Photo courtesy LuAnn Martin

Midweek: Community

John Donne, an English writer and cleric in the Church of England, lived a life of great ups and downs. In his early fifties, Donne became seriously ill, and was confined to bed, near the point of death. As he lay there day after day, he heard the bell toll out the death of others and, in his isolation, came to realize the interconnectedness of all our lives and our deaths. 

We are part of the same race, the human race, and like it or no, we have a responsibility to one another. 1 John 3:16-18 declares, By this we know love, because He (Jesus) laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 

What do you have that you can be sharing with others? As Christians, the most important thing we can share is Jesus, but the resources and talents we are given are often meant to bless others as well.   

John Donne came to realize he was just as desperate as the next guy, that his life was just as fleeting as others, and that we are a community. It is with his thoughts I leave you today.

"No Man Is an Island"

No man is an island,
Entire of itself;
Every man is a piece of the continent, 
A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less,
As well as if a promontory were:
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were.

Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.

~ John Donne

Are Details Necessary?

I only have to do two things: die and pay taxes. Have you ever heard that? Well, "eternal life" sort of takes the death thing off the table. But what about pray and pay taxes? 1 Thessalonians 5:17 makes it clear: pray without ceasing. And maybe, when it comes to taxes, you're praying a little more than usual. Consider this, the way you --or your accountant -- prepare your tax forms. Someone (hopefully) records diligently, methodically every financial detail of the past three hundred sixty-five days. Those details are important and, in some cases, can save a lot of heartache. 

Is the same true of prayer? Just how important is detail? A friend of mine calls some prayer requests "godly gossip" --her tongue-in-cheek way of saying the sharing of prayer requests has devolved into something much less like concern and much more like spilling the tea. We've all heard it: Pray for my neighbor who has MS and she's all alone because her husband just up and left her three years ago, and her daughter isn't speaking to her because of something that happened last Thanksgiving, and her son's institutionalized... "Godly gossip." Truly nothing godly about it, and we definitely need to be wary of that. But there's another sort of attention to detail that may often be unnecessary. How about this one: Jesus, please do x, y, and z because she is just so young and has small children who need their mama, and a husband who is currently unemployed... It's not gossip after all; we're talking to Jesus. My concern here is the additional context. What is it saying? That because she is worthy, or her circumstances are so dire (in our opinion) we are petitioning the Lord for healing? Are we expecting the additional context is what will sway Jesus to act. And what are we asking? Are we being specific in our request because x, y, and z are the best course of action? the only course of action? Are we pleading with the God of the universe, the God who made this woman, who knows her deepest need --are we requesting God heal her or provide for her, or are we submitting our plan and demanding God approve it? Here's the way this situation needs to be resolved, and here's why she is/ is not worthy of such a solution. 

I'm not trying to start trouble. God knows what we want before we ever open our mouths. God knows our hearts and certainly knows if we are asking His will or demanding He rubber stamp ours. God wants us to have compassion for one another, and things like motherless children or the death of a young person grab our hearts. We were made to yearn for good things like health and security and strong marriages and parents who get to see their children graduate and children who care for their aging parents; there is nothing wrong with wanting those things (wanting is what causes us to pray and work for change this world). But I think we have to be very careful about putting God or situations into a box. 

In Jonah 1:2, God commands Jonah: Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry out against it; for their wickedness has come up before Me. We all know the story: Jonah decided the people of Nineveh were beyond help, and not a group of folks he was willing to risk his life to save. And I'm not sure I would have felt any differently had I been in Jonah's sandals. But God saw a people worth redeeming. When we bring our petitions before the Lord, are we trying to see things as He sees them, or are we trying to manipulate Him into doing what we want or expect? The Holy Spirit is our guide as we pray: Holy Spirit, what am I to be praying for in this situation? We pray honestly to the One who knows our hearts: Jesus, here is what I want, or Here is what I see as the only solution, but... We pray as Jesus Himself prayed in Gethsemane: Father, not my will, but Your will be done. We ask for the same insight God has --and the longer we are in relationship with Him, He will develop it in us --but ultimately, we trust His will. However He chooses to act, for whomever He chooses to act, for whatever reasons He chooses to act. We persist in prayer, we pour out our hearts, but we trust Him.

Whether it's a poor single mother or the wicked people of a "great city" God does not desire the loss of any human spirit. The more folks that come to know Him, the more His glory will be known throughout the world. Jesus died for all, as there is none of us worthy. So, all those little details --how generous she is or how rebellious they are or how hopeless the situation appears --shouldn't amount to a hill of beans when it comes to our prayers. The means God uses to bring His plans to fruition are at His discretion and according to His perfect knowledge of the situation, not "the best course of action as seen from our view in the cheap seats." The Bible doesn't make it any clearer: pray without ceasing. No caveats, no disclaimers, no details to force God's hand, no roadmaps to success. Let's just pray and trust Him with outcomes. Save the details for your accountant.

Is Sinlessness Possible?

So, I've heard this teaching, and I really admire some of the folks who teach it; but I'm not sure I get it. It goes like this: If you are in Christ, you are a saint, not a sinner. So far, so good. But it continues: Because you are a saint, it is possible to live sin-free. Um, no. I mean, I'm not sure what sort of world they're living in, and I'm not sure what they consider to be sin, but I can't do it. At least, not right yet. Now, I'm not saying that I'm cheating at Monopoly, or knocking over liquor stores, or cussing like a sailor, or kicking puppies, or any of those kinds of things; but there are thoughts...

Like, the other day. I and the guy ahead of me have been sitting on this road for every bit of twelve minutes --not that I was timing it or anything. Okay, of course I was. The light turns red and there are about six cars stopped before us. If everybody does their due diligence, we can all get through once the light changes again. Now, I don't know about Guy Ahead, but I wanna go home. I'm tired of burning up my hard-earned fuel. I'm watching the lights in the other direction just waiting for them to turn red, knowing that is my cue to be ready to GOOOO! What does Guy do? the one whose been with me on this road so long I feel like we should be buying each other lunch? He looks down at his phone. NOOOO! Don't do that! You've got to be ready to romp on it when that light turns green! Hey! Guy! Pay attention! Nope. The light turns green, and Guy just sits there. Six cars go, and by the time Guy realizes that is my horn blasting in his ears, he has just enough time to squeak through the orange light, leaving me stuck waiting for the next round. Grrrr!

I don't know what these teachers think, but that right there, that irritation, that impatience, that desire to smack the peaches right off Guy Ahead's tree --that's not love, and I know it's not love. (Check out 1 Corinthians 13 if you have doubts.) But you didn't cuss him out at the next light or do anything crazy. After all, the Bible says we can be angry; we just can't sin. Maybe I'm too hard on myself (I doubt that), but I don't believe that means we can be angry about any ol' thing. In fact, the sin may actually stem from the things we get angry or annoyed over; our emotions (whether they are followed by corresponding behaviors or not) are the overflow of our hearts. I think there are things worth being angry about --babies aborted, lives wasted in addiction, spouses abused; but anger that stems from not getting my way? Annoyance resulting from Guy Ahead not looking out for his teammate (me)? Those things stem from selfish desires. I didn't say bad desires --it's good to want to save fuel; it's good to want to get home --but when those desires become more about me than they are listening to the Holy Spirit, waiting on God's time, giving thanks in all circumstances, esteeming others better than myself, they are selfish desires. This was not righteous indignation; this was me wanting what I wanted when I wanted it --and angry that it didn't happen. 

All this to say, when it comes to sinlessness, I haven't yet (I don't think) had a "sinless day." I've been annoyed by my husband asking me the same thing he just asked me five minutes before. I've felt the pangs of jealousy when someone who did as little as possible got all the accolades. I've been impatient when one of our children has struggled to get out the door on time. I've been disgusted by the coworker who has expended more energy trying to get out of work than actually doing it. I've been insulted by the person who has asked me how to spell a word only to turn around and ask someone else. I've gotten indignant when a friend has celebrated the wonderful advice her sister gave her, the same advice I've given her every bit of six times over the past three years --and she has, up until this point, ignored! Not a one of these occurrences was followed up by sinful behaviors, but --and I don't think I'm wrong in saying this --not a one was spawned absent my ego. Those feelings didn't come only because I wanted the best for the other person or because God was not receiving the glory He was due. Those feelings were precipitated, first and foremost, by my love of self. And that is sin. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. (Phil. 2:3)

I know I need Jesus. I know the Holy Spirit is working in me. I know I need to read Scripture and pray and memorize God's Word in order to grow and remain spiritually healthy. And I know there have been tremendous improvements in my character through the years because of those things. But sinless? Even the Apostle Paul knew the limits of his flesh. And though we should be striving for perfection through obedience and abidance, as long as we remain flesh and bone we will have limits and triggers and failures --and sin that comes from deep within us. Praise God for His great mercy! 

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I hope in Him!' (Lam. 3:22-24) 

One Plus One Equals One

Welcome to Hump Day! I'd like to share with you today, a meditation from one of my favorite --and at the same time, least favorite (IYKYK)-- authors, Frederick Buechner. This was originally published in his work, A Room Called Remember:

By all the laws both of logic and simple arithmetic, to give yourself away in love to another would seem to mean that you end up with less of yourself left than you had to begin with. But the miracle is that just the reverse is true, logic and arithmetic go hang. To give yourself away in love to somebody else—as a man and a woman give themselves away to each other at a wedding—is to become for the first time yourself fully. To live not just for yourself alone anymore but for another self to whom you swear to be true—plight your troth to, your truth to—is in a new way to come fully alive. Things needn't have been that way as far as we know, but that is the way things are, that is the way life is, and if you and I are inclined to have any doubts about it, we can always put it to the test. The test, needless to say, is our lives themselves. 

Nobody with any sense claims that marriage is going to be clear sailing all the way, least of all the author of the marriage service. "For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health"—there will be good times and bad times both. There will be times when the vows exchanged here—wild and implausible as in countless ways they are—seem all but impossible to keep. But by holding fast to each other in trust, in patience, in hope, and by holding fast also to him who has promised to be present whenever two or three are gathered together in his name as he was present that day in Cana of Galilee, the impossible becomes possible. The water becomes wine. And by grace we become, little by little, human in spite of ourselves, become whole, become truly loving and lovely at last. 

~ Frederick Buechner

All God's Children Are on the Whitelist

One evening, someone from our fellowship was ill; they spent some time in the ER and walked home late at night. I was more than concerned and spoke with our pastor's wife. "They should have called," she said. "Pastor keeps his phone on all night." I recalled a memorial service a few weeks prior; the family's clergyman talked about the dread of "those late-night calls" --another pastor who keeps his phone on all night. 

Personally, my "Do Not Disturb" is set for 8PM and the only people on my whitelist are our children. Do you understand what I'm saying? These pastors, ordinary men do much more than prepare messages for Sunday morning and baptize the occasional confessor. They visit the sick and deliver meals and counsel couples and comfort the grieving and mow the grass at the church (ours does, anyway). I and other saints can enjoy the luxury of sleeping soundly, setting our phones to "Do Not Disturb," because there's someone else handling the calls and concerns of our brothers and sisters. As we dream, our pastor is praying. As we recline in our beds, our pastor is standing with someone at the scene of an accident. As we remain warm and dry, our pastor is driving in a downpour to the ER. As we allow muscles to relax and weariness to fade into sweet repose, our pastor is bearing another's burden. We can simply enjoy the benefits of his watchfulness and his faithfulness. And while this sounds like an ode to pastors (and maybe should be), it is an important picture. Pastor keeps his phone on all night. 

In Webster's 1931 dictionary, the number one definition for the word pastor is "shepherd." The true pastors of the Christian faith are shepherds. They shepherd the sheep in a manner after the Good Shepherd, Christ, revealed in Scripture. The local pastor, the flesh and blood shepherd of the flock, is a picture of the Shepherd greater than all others. The Shepherd who watches over His children and does not slumber or sleep. The Shepherd who is selfless and lavish in His giving; He is willing to sacrifice for His sheep. The Shepherd who cares for the flock, who counsels His people, who never leaves those who are His, and who is near to those who need Him. Our flesh and blood shepherds --as incredible as they are --are only a picture of the protection, provision, correction, comfort, and leadership we find in our Lord. They are human and the tools at their disposal are temporal. Phones malfunction or lose connection or require charging. Those in need may be unable to use them. Sleep overtakes weary bodies. Illness keeps even the best shepherds from the fields. But Psalm 34 says our Shepherd, Jesus, hears the cries of His sheep: His ears are sharp, attentive, listening for them. And He is always near. Think about that! Maybe you remain at home with your parents. Maybe you are married with a strong, vigilant, former MMA star husband. Maybe you have the latest in home security, live in a gated community, or sleep with Smith & Wesson. None of that is as effective and reassuring as the Shepherd who is one cry of the heart away, the Shepherd who knows and has authority over all things. We, His sheep, are given the freedom to simply be the best sheep we can be within the safe borders of His pasture. We can rest and enjoy and serve Him, as He does all the heavy lifting. What an incredible benefit! 

But it's only for His sheep. Just as my children alone can reach me after 8PM, our Shepherd's eyes are on the righteous, His flock --and not a one is missing. Only His children --each and every one --are on His whitelist. The angel of the Lord surrounds and protects those who fear Him; He delivers them. He is near to those with a contrite spirit and delivers His sheep. Those who fear the Lord will not do without. You must be one of His own; but there is still time. The psalmist tells us, Come...Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The gate to the sheepfold is open to allow more to come in. Do not hesitate; enter and be cared for, protected by the Good Shepherd who laid down His life for His sheep. 

But if all that sounds a little exclusive to you, give me your number and we can talk about it. How's 2AM sound? 

How's the View?

Look in the mirror. Go ahead, do it. That's it, get up real close. Nope, closer. What do you see? Maybe that freckle you've had since you were a kid or that scar you got from shaving. Can you see your feet? How about your belly button? Truth be told, you probably can't see much of yourself. You're just not getting the whole picture. You're seeing a very small part of who you are, even less of what your life is, much less of what your neighbor's life is, much, much less of what the world really is.

God's plan is like that. 1 Corinthians 13:9-12 says:

For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

We think we know how things will go, maybe we have great ideas as to how things should go, but there's so much more we are unable to see right now. 

It's the best thing if I could get this job. 

It would be ideal if he would stop coming around. 

Nothing would be better but for her to be healed.

But God sees more than just the big pores in our nose or the broken blood vessel in our eye or the gap between our teeth. He sees more than just me alone. There's a bigger picture out there and we do ourselves and others a huge disservice when we can't see past our own reflection in the mirror, when we refuse to see past our own situation. If we're being honest, it's more than just a disservice, it's no service at all. How can we be compassionate toward others or help others if we can't stop staring at our own tiny, tiny view in the mirror? How can we keep going if all we see are the imperfections and hopelessness of our immediate situation?

We need a broader perspective. So how do we increase and improve our view? By keeping our eyes on the One who knows. Psalm 119:18 promises there are wonderful things to behold in a life lived in obedience to God. Open my eyes that I may see wondrous things from Your law. Not just reading Scripture and thinking, Wow, isn't that fascinating, but obeying, putting those things into practice. Like taking a stroll around the neighborhood, our view expands as we follow God's commands and put His precepts into practice. Hebrews 12:1-2 says that by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith we can make it to the finish line. We can be free, unencumbered, unburdened; we can run with endurance and our faith can be made complete --our faith will be our eyes and our vision will be made whole. By trusting the One who holds all things in His hands, who has good things planned for us --even if it takes facing bad things, hard things, unappealing things in order to get there! Only when we step away from the mirror, from the view that restricts us, and we cast our eyes on Jesus, the One who makes us free, will we begin to know as we are known and see as we are seen.

Midweek: The Celebration Continues!

I was privileged this past Sunday to be present when a young man from our fellowship shared a beautiful meditation he composed. I hope it touches you as it touched many of us on Resurrection Sunday:

Here is a poem to celebrate the extraordinary event of Jesus' resurrection:

In the dawn of a new day, hope emerged,

From the darkness of the tomb, life surged.

With triumphant power, death was defeated,

As Jesus, our Savior, rose, fully completed.

Behold, the stone rolled away with grace,

Revealing an empty tomb, an empty space.

The chains of sin and sorrow shattered,

By the Son of God, whose love never faltered.

From death's grip, Jesus emerged in glory,

Writing a new chapter in salvation's story.

The grave could not hold Him, nor its might,

For He is the Resurrection, the true Light.

Oh, the joy that fills our hearts on this day,

As we celebrate the One who paved the way.

His sacrifice, a gift of love so profound,

In His resurrection, eternal hope we found.

Through Him, we find redemption's embrace,

A promise of eternal life and God's grace.

Let every voice rise in joyful refrain,

Proclaiming Jesus' resurrection, forever reign!

So, let us gather on this special morn,

With hearts uplifted and spirits reborn.

For Jesus conquered death, sin, and strife,

And offers us everlasting, abundant life.

Rejoice, oh souls, in this wondrous truth,

The resurrection of Jesus, our living proof,

That in Him, we find forgiveness and peace,

And in His presence, our souls find release.

On this Resurrection Sunday, let us adore,

The One who gives us life forevermore.

With grateful hearts, we join the glorious hymn,

Proclaiming Jesus Christ, our risen King, with vim!

May this poem inspire you to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ with joy and gratitude. May His victory over death fill your heart with hope and assurance of His everlasting love. Happy Resurrection Sunday!

Praise Jesus whose resurrection is cause for celebration each and every day!

But They Didn't See Him

Some of our friends went to the tomb and found it exactly as the women had said, but they didn’t see him.

~ Luke 24:24 CJB

The news of Jesus' murder days before had spread throughout Jerusalem. As two of His disciples walked to Emmaus, talking about recent events, they encountered a man who inquired about their conversation. Luke tells us this man was Jesus Himself, but their eyes were "restrained" from seeing Him. They tell Him how Jesus, the One they believed to be their Deliverer, was handed over by the Jewish authorities to the Romans to be crucified. We were hoping it was He who was going to redeem Israel. (v.21) Their hopes, it appeared, had been dashed. The speaker went on, however. Today is the third day since these things happened. The third day, according to some Talmud, was the "cut-off:" the soul remained near the body three days in hopes of being brought back to life in the physical world (Tanhuma, Miqetz 4; Pequdei 3); if it didn't happen, the soul journeyed on to God (Babylonian Talmud Sanhedrin 90b-91a). Surely, He was dead. The third day was also the day Jesus prophesied His resurrection and pronounced Himself risen! Surely, this would happen. Readers can almost hear the conflict in this man's voice as he relates all of this to Jesus. We thought...but...then again... 

Lastly, the men tell their "uninformed" companion of "certain women" who had gone to the tomb early in the morning. When they did not find His body, they came saying that they had also seen a vision of angels who said He was alive. (v. 23) Legally, the testimony of women was worthless, so some members of the male persuasion went to check it out. But Him they did not see. (v.24) Confirmed, official, verified, but if not in the grave, where? Standing right before them! This guest they'd assumed was so clueless --Have you been living under a rock?! they ask (v. 18) --the man to whom they'd related the events and their aspirations, this man was the One they sought. Right before their eyes! And He was asking their perspective of the prior three days! They didn't even recognize the One of whom they told. They didn't even recognize the One for whom they longed. They didn't even recognize the One in whom they'd hoped. But He asks the content of their thoughts, their hearts. What things are troubling you? Why are you sad? (v. 17-19) It could all be so funny if it wasn't so true, for them and for us today.

This God, who created galaxies and gravity, dinosaurs and dung beetles, ecosystems and electricity, laughter and livermorium, rivers and respirations, fingerprints and fireflies --this God wants a relationship with His creation. And He sent His Son to live with us, to die for us, to rise from the grave as proof to us. Jesus isn't the one who's clueless here. Jesus isn't the one who can't see. Just like these followers of His who heard His voice, who saw His face, who breathed in His scent, but did not recognize Him, we stumble around in the dark wondering where is Jesus. Where is the Jesus who is supposed to be helping me through this divorce? Where is the Jesus who is supposed to heal me? Where is the Jesus who is supposed to pay these bills? Jesus has not abandoned us, and He still wants to know our hearts; His Spirit still sneaks up alongside us, encouraging us to speak to Him. But where are we looking for Him? In an empty tomb? On the golf course? At the bottom of a bottle? In another column of zeroes in our bank account? In another person? 

Jeremiah 29:13 says, And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. God spoke these words through Jeremiah to a people with no access to online Bibles or church websites or printing presses. We have so many places in which to "find" the truth about our Creator, yet we seek Him less and less. I would encourage you to seize this promise, seek Jesus through prayer and Bible reading. Ask Him to direct your steps to upright Bible teaching. Surrender all your preconceived notions at the foot of the cross and plead with the Holy Spirit to open your eyes. Know that Jesus is here, willing and waiting for you to see Him in all His glory. 

True Love

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

~ 1 Corinthians 13

Thirteen beautiful verses. Who wouldn't nod their head in agreement at the truth and passion contained herein? But this season, the season in which we celebrate life because Jesus died brutally for us, we are reminded of what love truly is, the perilous, exhausting, and humanly impossible task of loving as we have been loved; love for the Father and love for us that compelled Jesus to selflessly, unfalteringly endure its most complete and perfect demonstration ever enacted.

Love suffers long and is kind... The hours of torment Jesus suffered, knowing His friend was His betrayer, seeing His disciples regard so highly their own comfort they would not pray for His peace, asking the Father that this cup might pass from Him --and it did not. Still, He washed feet and prayed a blessing, healed a soldier, made provision for His mother, welcomed a thief into eternal life, and obeyed the Father. Love suffers long and is kind...

...love does not seek its own... He left His throne, He left His Father, that we might become sons and daughters of the same Father and reign with Him in His place of glory. He took humanity upon Himself that we might take His righteousness upon us. He humbled Himself unto death that we might have life. He received every bit of our punishment that we might be fully forgiven. ...love does not seek its own...

...is not provoked... Not even in defense of itself. As those around Him hurled false accusations, as they chose not to understand, as they mocked and disrespected the King of kings, He remained silent that love might grow to its fullest measure, that His life might be taken in exchange for us, that He might wholly obey the Father. ...is not provoked...

...thinks no evil... It does not take into account a wrong endured. In those final moments He cried out, It is finished! The forgiveness of everyone who spit on Him, who threw their fists, who spoke falsely against Him, who mocked, who watched in silence, who desired to be entertained by such a violent display of injustice, who cursed Him, who murdered their children and slandered their neighbor, who slit their wrists in defiance of God's authority, who worshipped their money, who broke their marriage vows, who cheated their government or cheated their citizens, who envied their brother, who drove while drunk, who hurt the innocent and molested their daughters, who stole to eat, who stole because they could, who shirked their responsibilities, who fed their addictions instead of their children --the forgiveness of everyone who would cry out to receive it was won. ...thinks no evil...

Love...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Midweek: Abandonment

Once again, I'm not sure I want to get into the habit of posting three times a week (I tend to be a little busy these days), but I'm compelled to share this with you. It's a theme that continues to resonate in my personal time with Jesus these days. In the words of John Donne, "No man is an island." I've been reading about the differences between collective societies --cultures who function as a unit with little or no acquiescence to the goals, desires, and preferences of the individual --and individualistic societies such as our in the Western world. We encourage individuals to pursue their own dreams, to be all they as individuals can be, to stand up for themselves, to leave the nest and build your own which your children will one day leave. Knowing the "family of God" encompasses so many ethnicities and varied cultures, is the body of Christ a collective society, or an individualist one? If it is both, how is this dichotomy sustained? And if it is both, what does that mean in terms of my sin and the rest of the body?

Honestly, I'm not planning to answer those questions here, but I encourage you to do some research on your own. What I do know is that we were made for and called to relationship; first, a relationship with our Creator, and then, a relationship with those around us. Because of this, when I meditated this week on the account of the crucifixion, the thing that stood out most to me is the abandonment Jesus suffered. All throughout His ministry, Jesus surrounded Himself with twelve close friends and many other faithful followers; He spoke before multitudes of people; He was a member of the Jewish nation of Israel on earth and a member of the Divine Trinity. He was clearly a part of a body but died alone. I have no context for enduring the beating that Jesus endured; I cannot even begin to empathize with that sort of physical suffering. But I know abandonment. My father was in large part physically absent from our home, in greater part emotionally absent. From childhood, I was taught academics and church were admirable, sports and whatever other types of "distractions" I pursued made me a disappointment to him. When he received accolades regarding his beautiful family, my father hugged us warmly; when we argued or rebelled, he fell silent and withdrew in every way possible. The "love" we received was directly proportional to the opinions of those watching. Abandonment, or the fear of abandonment remained with me long after I left my parents' home, long after my father left this earth. Abandonment is something I can grasp, something that --even in thinking of it today --prompts a visceral reaction, something that --as I think of Jesus' lonely cry from the cross --I can identify with. My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Leaving me here to protect myself, to figure it all out, to endure alone, to bear the weight, to die.

Jesus suffered abandonment for me. His friends ran from the garden when the guards showed up. The one who stayed was the one who betrayed Him. On the cross, His Father turned His back on Him; so vile with sin was Jesus, the Father could not look on His only begotten Son. Our sin. My sin. Ephesians 1:7 says, In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace. Admittedly, I never gave that word "we" much thought before. But as I read it with new eyes this morning, I thought about the collective. Truly no sin is victimless. No one can say the battle with pornography or shopping is "private." We may tell ourselves no one knows or no one will be hurt, but there are victims. Jesus, abandoned by His own Father, to atone for sins committed, to restore a relationship violated in every way possible before God's grace intervened and rescued, Jesus Christ whose name every follower now bears --Jesus is the ultimate victim of sin. He suffered pain unto death, He suffered abandonment for sin. My sin. Our sin. 

The body of Christ, my fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord are victims of my sin just as I am victims of theirs. When we, as members of this divine family, sin, we sin against one another. The reputation of the body is at stake, the prayers and encouragement of my brothers and sisters are mocked, and a breach occurs which makes the collective susceptible to the wasting disease of sin. The continuity of the ministry, the cohesiveness of the body, the welfare of the collective are impacted by the sin of the individual. My sin becomes our sin. The body is left without a fully functioning, healthy and whole in Christ member until the sin is dealt with and relationship is restored: the strain that is put on the back when suffering a bum knee, the immune system weakened by poor dietary choices. Crimes against one another; abandonment of purpose, of commitment, of the collective.

As we approach the next couple of days, meditating on the great suffering our Lord endured, meditating on the tremendous betrayal of men and the ultimate selflessness of God, let us bear in mind the abandonment Jesus experienced for our sakes and the abandonment those sins we commit even today inflict upon the body of Christ. Our sin has consequences, consequences that are not solely our own, consequences that are not as hidden as the alcohol at the bottom of our bedroom closet or as "innocent" as the hours we spend scrolling social media, consequences that affect the collective. My sin is not my own. I abandon the body with each commission, I shirk my responsibilities, I become less of what God has designed me to be, I call into question the reputation of Jesus Christ and His followers. Praise God, in Christ we have redemption --as individuals and as a collective, His body. Let us uphold through obedience the work of the cross, not forsaking the good of the body and abandoning those who stand with us before the throne.

Wash, Rinse, Repent!

I'm listening to the wastewater from the washing machine pour down the drain. The laundry room is now on the other side of my office and that, to me, is sublime. I really hate doing laundry. When my office was on the third floor, I'd throw in a load, telling myself to check on it in forty minutes or so, and I'd forget it. Later in the day --maybe even later in the next day --I'd pass the laundry room on my way out the door and noticed the sealed-up tomb that held our damp, now funky clothes. Yuk! Wash, rinse, repeat. And hope I don't forget again! 

Clothes aren't the only things that can become funky and stale. Relationships can as well, particularly our relationship with those who aren't sitting in the back seat waiting for us to take them to play practice, or those who aren't standing in the kitchen with the refrigerator door open searching for the thing they couldn't find the last three times they checked, or those who aren't daily begging us to take them for a walk. Hey, I didn't say our relationship had to be fun! But our relationship with those folks who aren't always needing, expecting, demanding something of us can grow a little musty, fetid, forgotten like laundry in a sheet metal sepulcher. Our relationship with Jesus can be like that. Out of sight, out of mind. Or the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Right?

Just this past week I got a text from one of our progenies. I hate that I pray more when I need something, it read. No judgment here! I think we can all be guilty of that at some point; maybe we are just as frustrated with ourselves. We get busy and miss a day of quiet time, or quiet time seems to be an assault from one stray thought after another. Prayer happens in the car at seventy miles an hour rather than on our knees in a place of silence. We're not sure of the last time we memorized a verse, and meditation is something that yogis do. Church is much more convenient now that it's live-streamed and pjs are far more comfortable than church pews. Not until we get that late night call, or the pink slip, or the prognosis, or the summons, or the invoice do we get serious about our relationship with Jesus. We dust off our Bibles, call the pastor, recommit to the weekly Bible study, show up in person at church, and set our alarms to "early" so we can meet the Lord while the house is still sleeping. We've hit the WASH button once again, vowing this time to pay attention all the way to the end of the cycle.

Is that how this relationship is supposed to work? Of course not, but it is human nature. Psalm 103:2 urges us, Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Throughout Scripture we are warned not to forget; Judges 2:10 even reports, sadly, an entire generation of Israel came up who did not know the Lord! We forget. We lose track of time. We give ourselves far more credit than we deserve. We miss the significance of rest and silence, and place far too much emphasis on busyness. We choose assertiveness over gentleness. We speak when we should be silent and turn a blind eye when we should defend the faith. We don't know how to defend the faith because we've spent too much time mastering social media. But let's not lose heart! Psalm 103:14 assures us, God knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. Our God is a rememberer. We forget. We are frail and fickle; but He is not. We leave our laundry to grow putrid behind closed doors, we forget the prayers we pray and fail to recall the faithfulness of our Creator. We long to become the obedient and trustworthy Bride He has called us to be, but our longing for things we can pursue with our senses is often greater. But He remembers. And He calls us to wash, to be washed in the blood of Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins, to be made white as snow, and to repent from that life, from those desires, from the funky, stale relationship we once had with Him and to walk in newness of life. Immersed in relationship and clothed in the righteousness of Jesus, there's no reason to stink!

Loving Is Not for Sissies!

Set me as a seal over your heart;

        wear me as an emblem on your arm

    For love is as strong as death,

        and jealousy is as relentless as the grave.

    Love flares up like a blazing fire, a very ardent flame.

No amount of water can quench love;

        a raging flood cannot drown it out.

    If a person tried to exchange all of his wealth for love,

        then he would be surely rejected.

~ Song of Songs 8:6-7, The Voice

One day a coworker remarked, "Judi, you're absolutely fearless!" He really didn't know me very well. He saw the Judi that ran after runaway equipment or stood two stories up in the door of an aircraft or disposed of smoking hazardous materials. He never saw the Judi that couldn't decide what color to paint her walls because she was terrified of "getting it wrong," of the criticism of others. Or the Judi so afraid of abandonment, she said whatever was required to please others and subsequently lied to get out of the hasty, people-pleasing promises she made. What he saw as fearless was often more like reckless. What he saw as bravery was often more like bravado. I was insecure and self-centered, not at all the fearless hero I appeared to be. True fearlessness requires love. Think about Jesus' courage and boldness as He stood for hours before corrupt men, falsely accused, judged unjustly, and silent. Think of His resolve as He took lash after lash and step after step on His way to the cross, all the while knowing He had the power to put an end to the circus and an end to each one of its clowns! We consider the events of His crucifixion and are, perhaps, brought to tears of repentance, but do we ever stop to acknowledge the ferocity of the love that compelled Him to endure that, or recognize the fearlessness of a love unto death? Loving is not for sissies!

Our family consists of biological children, stepchildren, and a soon-to-be adopted (Lord willing) child. Loving them has not been easy for a variety of reasons. Our older children experienced the raw, unredeemed, immature, self-centered, ridiculously unwise versions of us. We were, in large measure, the reason why love was an uphill climb. Our younger children have had to live with the crazier, still learning, follow-after-Jesus-which-seems-sometimes-humanly-unsound versions of us. Loving us can't always be easy. Likewise, we've nursed sniffles and stomachaches well into the night, diffused temper tantrums and sibling squabbles every few hours or so, attended baseball games and assembled toys on little to no sleep, sweated with them over homework and cried with them over broken relationships; we have prayed and begged and fasted and pleaded and wept for the safety and salvation of our children. And we have seen some of them still reject Jesus. That's not recklessness or bravado. That's love.

Loving, and loving as Jesus loves, is bravery and boldness, fearlessness and fierceness. It is risking ego for the sake of kindness. It is fighting for those around us rather than with them. It is taking the barb for the greater good. It is apologizing and forgiving when the other has not. It is speaking blessing over the lives of those who have forgotten you exist. It is hours on your knees and day after day of falling on your sword. It is trusting in the One who loves us unto death, and doing all we can to imitate that love. It is fearlessness that springs from the depths of His love for us and the assurance He will never leave us or forsake us in anything He has called us to do. It is being content with the things present --the people, the circumstances, the resources --knowing God has determined, selected, and meted out exactly what we will need (and, perhaps, as much as we can rightly steward) to succeed at whatever assignment He has given us that glory might be brought before His throne. That is love. And it is fearless.

 

Midweek: Review: KJV Large Print Center-Column Reference Bible

Okay, the title may be a mouthful, but with the exception of cross references, this Bible is fairly basic. And very pretty!

Thomas Nelson's Bible Bloggers Program has given me a complimentary copy of the KJV Large Print Center-Column Reference Bible in pink Leathersoft --yes, pink! I'm loving it!

This edition features Comfort Print, a pink satin bookmark, a presentation page, gilt-edged pages, and the words of Jesus in red. The binding is designed so that the Bible lays flat for easy study and comes with a lifetime guarantee. Each book of the Bible is accompanied by a brief introduction and there are more than 50,000 cross references located in the center column of each page. 

In the back matter is a list of the Miracles of Jesus, the Parables of Jesus, a One Year Reading Plan, a Concordance, and color maps. And that's it! There are no fancy commentaries or prayer prompts or essays, no spectacular artwork or harmony of the Gospels. With commentaries and dictionaries available all over the internet, why carry all of that around with you in your Bible? Maybe you're just looking for a "reader," an edition to spend some time simply reading the Word of God, one you keep stashed beside your favorite reading chair or in the map pocket of your SUV for those down-times in the school carline. Maybe you just want to read and listen for the Holy Spirit without the distraction of applications and archeological input. Or maybe you're looking for a Sunday driver --something to carry with you to church and midweek Bible study, while leaving the bulky study Bible at home. The KJV Large Print Center-Column Reference Bible is perfect! It would make a great gift, also! And in pink, it's just too cute! 

Living with the "No"

Two of my friends had just received bad news, devastating disappointments. God was not --at least right now --going to do what they had asked. They love Him. They go to church. They love and serve their families and are generous to those who need help. They do as He asks. Their plans were good plans; the things they wanted were in line with "good things" --maybe even in line with what they believe is God's plan. But God was telling them No.

We've heard it before. The Apostle Paul had a "thorn in his side" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10), something that was plaguing him --he says Satan was using it to buffet him: it was affecting his ability to serve the Lord. Surely God wouldn't want that! Paul prayed three times. From context, we can be fairly certain these requests were not lumped in with Would You send me a new pair of flip-flops? or Can You have someone check in on my cat until I get outta jail? I think when Paul said he prayed, he means he praaaaaayed! I think there was some fasting and some long-suffering going on there. I think Paul wanted something done about it --perhaps even felt as though he needed something done about it. And God said No. For someone as in love with Him as Paul? For someone who got as much done for the Kingdom as Paul? God said No. God's answer was that Paul was just going to have to rely on His grace; it was enough. And this thing, this testimony was for God's glory: His strength would be perfected through Paul's weakness. Paul makes his point in verse 10, saying:

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul has come to the knowledge, to the resolution that this is good --whatever this was. I can live with poor eyesight because...God. I can struggle financially because...God. I can face the temptation of porn because...God. I can love my rebellious child because...God. And in just a couple of verses we experience the victory. I take pleasure in infirmities...!

But what about that place just before the victory, just before the resolution? What about the No? Our nature rebels against it. The No is a place that can last years if we let it. A few verses or the time it takes to read them may not begin to cover what it takes to get to that place of knowledge, of resolution, of victory. And while living with the No can be difficult, living in the No can be even more so --a much easier choice, a more natural pursuit, but a much more unpleasant road. Living in the No means day after day I put myself at odds with the One who created me, who loves me, who knows what is best for me. It means I covet something He has placed off limits --at least for me, at least for now. It means I am choosing my plans, my goals, my entitlement over His plan for my eternity. Living in the No means my heart is set against God's refusal to give me what I want (How long before it is set against God altogether?); I measure God's lack of goodness to me against what I perceive to be His favor in the lives of others; I do not join others in whole-heartedly celebrating God's work in the world; my days are filled with searching for what I want, sorrow over my inability to procure it, and dissatisfaction with what I have been given. 

To live with the No requires a choice against human nature, the choice to accept God's sovereignty, His promises, His love. It requires a choice to be selfless, humble, and unentitled. It requires a choice to crucify the flesh and not put physical desires where desire for God should be. To live with the No requires a choice to see things as God sees --or, at least, pursue that --and to know He can do anything. To live with the No requires a choice to be changed rather than demand God changes things for us. To live with the No is to despise entitlement and embrace eternal life. Living with the No embraces just that --living. Yes, I have cancer, but at this moment I am alive and able to do something for the Kingdom. Yes, the bank just foreclosed on us, but at this moment we are alive and able to do something for the Kingdom. There may be times when we or those we love are faced with a No, but it's vital we choose not to live there. In fact, for believers, living in the No isn't really an option: our focus should never be ourselves. Our vision is as infinite as the God we serve, our message should always stand out from the rest of the world, and our hope is eternal. With Paul, let us celebrate the No as we live with it, not in it.