Friday's Narrative: A Change of Heart

I awoke five minutes before the alarm was set to rouse me. "Five minutes? Really? I just wanna sleep," I whined. At 2:45 AM, I was trucking the quarter-mile or so into a job I cannot wait to leave behind at an hour I cannot wait to remain sleeping! I was barely in the door before the guy I relieve was passing the torch. "Your shift's not over yet, Dude," I thought. Then the phone rang -- and didn't stop until minutes after my shift was over. "So much for getting out early." As I rushed to pick Olivia up I tried texting her, but my phone wouldn't connect. "Will anything go right today?" I rushed home to dress Mom and get her some breakfast so I could walk Tinkerbell before it got too hot. I fixed a water bottle for our journey -- which I left at home. Back to the house, the sun rising higher in the sky with every wasted minute. Trash littered the streets of our neighborhood. "Doesn't anyone see those trash cans?" A dozen chatty neighbors along the way made it obvious I wasn't going to get any real exercise. Back at home, chores awaited. "I should have just stayed home and tackled my list instead of wasting my time on that," I thought. "I need a blessing!"

Not long ago, that's how my "Friday narrative" would have read. In fact, it would have been much more bleak. All I could see were the blessings other people received and the hardships I endured. What changed? A friend called and wanted to share some good news with me. She bragged and bragged -- on God!! -- as she should. He was doing some amazing things in her life, and she gave Him all His due. I, on the other hand, was going through a valley, and felt as if God had abandoned me. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart," she quoted. That was it! I almost hung up on her. Now, she didn't know; I didn't share all I'd been going through, but God was giving me hope through her words -- if I would stop feeling sorry for myself and listen. It would be months before I would get my attitude straightened out, but I knew when that call ended I did not want to be that jealous, evil person who can't be happy for someone or rejoice in what God can do.

In the following months things got worse. All I could do was wake up each morning, cry out to God and breathe. Anything more than that was solely at His discretion. If the roof leaked, He'd stop the rain or provide the buckets. If the car wouldn't start, He'd already given me feet or He'd remove my reason to go anywhere. Until then, I purposed in my heart to delight myself in Him.

Today's "Friday narrative" is very different, because of what the Holy Spirit has done in me. Waking up five minutes early gave me extra time in the Scriptures. The walk into work, gives me exercise I need. A busy day ensures my job is necessary, and extra time today means I can scoot out a little early tomorrow. Running late and failing to reach Olivia meant she was ready to go when I arrived and I would have her company to do errands on our way home. Backtracking to get the water we'd left behind put us right on schedule to run into at least one of those neighbors who was leaving to meet some friends; he shared a funny story and put a smile in my heart. Another neighbor, upon noticing Bishop was not with me, comforted me; she gave Olivia some words of wisdom, too. A more leisurely walk with plenty of breaks was probably best for Tinkerbell, and picking up trash gave us an opportunity to do something for our community and burn off additional calories.

So, delight yourself in the Lord, and though He may not change your situation, He will change your heart; and that which you desire -- God's presence and His glory -- will be yours forever!