A Vision of An "Us"

More than twenty years ago, my husband and I had our first date. Only it wasn't "a date." Scott and I were working together, talking as coworkers do, but were by no means friends. Our lives were pretty full without romantic relationships, and we'd already proven we weren't quite good at those. I refused to date. Anyone. But Scott wanted to go to the movies. "I can't just go to the movies and sit by myself," he explained. "Couldn't we just go as friends?" I acquiesced, but the closer we got to the weekend, the more he referred to our little outing as "a date." I was beginning to feel manipulated. So, I canceled. Last minute. His irritation with me came across as indifference (I'm sure he intended it to), and I was offended. If anyone was going to care less, it was going to be me; after all, he started this! I suggested we go out for a bite to eat. I donned my hardened attitude, ratty jeans and flip-flops. Scott appeared in what I've always referred to as his "Hawaiian Boy" outfit: pressed linen shorts, a casual button-down shirt, and loafers. To the point, I was prepared to withstand, even repel; Scott dressed to draw me in. He had a vision of an "us."

I tell you this because I see how closely this anecdote mirrors the relationship some of us have with the Lord at times. He calls us, He woos us; He has a vision of an "us." Instead, we fill our every moment with busyness and nonsense the minute the Holy Spirit begins to unsettle our spirits. I don't have time today; I'll talk to You tomorrow! How do You expect me to serve when no one else will? We don our hardened attitudes and tell ourselves He can't possibly be speaking to us; He can't possibly use us. We believe all He can offer us is a life of denial and discipline, a life that can't possibly bring us happiness. Some of us might even immerse ourselves further and further into those things we know are sin just so we don't have to try again: I know what I'm dealing with when it comes to addiction, but I can't even imagine what sobriety would be like for me. 

Don't get me wrong, God is not some sad milquetoast of a deity that sits in His heaven, wringing His hands over those who rebel. He pursues those that are His with a passion. Sometimes He turns up the heat: the rent gets raised, a son rebels, test results are unfavorable --all that we might seek Him for His kindness. Sometimes He lavishes us with His love, drawing us to seek his face in gratitude. Sometimes He stands back for a bit and allows us to see for ourselves just how huge the mistake we are making. As set as we may think we are in our ways, the God who does not change is far more established in His --from eternity to eternity. And His ways are right. His ways are true. His ways are forged in perfect love and justice. Even when we don't quite understand what He's doing, He is trustworthy and faithful. He never stops working our circumstances toward the fulfilling of His plans.

Scott and I had different ideas about our relationship all those years ago. In some ways, we still do. But we are one, and as such, our objective is for the good of the "us" and the glory of God. We are human, however, and at times our personal agendas and our egos get in the way of that. It is bearing in mind that what is good for both of us is what is best for each of us, that keeps us from repeating past mistakes. It is trusting the other's desire to become more like Jesus and, in so doing, drawing together as we aim for the same point, that adds strength to our relationship. What another wonderful picture of our relationship with God! He knows what is best for us; He knows us intimately. We have only to trust Him in all He calls us to do. And it is our desire to be more like Him --the desire He gives us and stokes in us by His Holy Spirit --when we seek no other kingdom but His, that strengthens us to go even further, seek more zealously, give more, and be more like Him.

Were we doing our relationship right twenty+ years ago? Not at all. There was clearly a power struggle going on. And still can be on occasion. But as we enter new seasons in our relationship --some good, some just plain demanding --we decide to do what is best for the "us" and brings glory to God. And we do it with as much love and grace as God will give us. Because this is a picture, a fuzzy, incomplete, insufficient picture of His children; each one of us in ratty jeans and with hard hearts, being swept off our feet by a God who has a bigger, better vision than anything we can imagine.