Without Hope but Never Hopeless

It's hopeless. Have you ever thought that? Or worse, He's hopeless or She's hopeless. We can all get discouraged, can't we? Sometimes, the more we want a thing --even a good thing, the more consumed and miserable we get when it doesn't come to pass. Our hearts long to see someone healed or recovered, but in the meantime, we grow snarky or pushy; we lash out. The burden of wanting has overtaken our spirit, and we lose hope. 

Well, just the other evening, a friend and I were talking about some of the astonishing --and not in a good way --things we see going on in our nation. The unbelievable things people are willing to do, the destructive and disturbing things people believe. As we talked, the phrase "without hope," came to mind. These people are without hope, grasping at straws, doing unthinkable things to save themselves because they see no other way out. In the most extreme cases, they are killing their babies, killing themselves, killing off the person God designed them to be with hormones, surgeries, and delusions. They are killing others with their words and killing in the literal fashion as well. Something within them cries out, Just make it stop! And they believe that by stifling the person or situation or thing before their eyes, their agony will be stopped. They do not see a resolution, do not trust a greater Being to take them through it; they are without hope. Is their hopelessness any different from the hopelessness of those praying they will find a way out of the darkness?

Though they are without hope, they are not hopeless. And we should not be either.

The Bible talks about being without hope. Ephesians 2:12 (ESV) says,

Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ... having no hope and without God in the world. 

There was a time in every Christian's life when we did not belong to Christ. Because of God's grace, by His Spirit, in His time, we were called and drawn to Him that we might, through Christ, be redeemed and adopted. It is in Christ, that we now have hope. This scenario has played out for each and every person who has come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior, and it will be true of anyone who will one day come to know Him. Those people for whom we have spent years praying or those we stand back watching with a morbid fascination or outright disgust (though we should be praying), those people or situations over which we have thrown up our hands in frustration --none of these is a lost cause, none of these is hopeless in the sense of being written off or abandoned. We should not lose hope over people still with us, people God created in His image who still have opportunity to know Him. We should not lose hope over matters God has not declared concluded. We should not lose hope for it is our hope that stands in the gap when these situations and these dear ones are without hope! 

Our hope in Jesus Christ leads the charge, brings justice to an unjust world, grieves and encourages, feeds the sick and clothes the poor, votes in a godly way, lifts the names and faces of those in need of a Savior before the Lord of lords, lights the darkness, and ministers in ways that reconcile our loved ones and their troubles to God through Christ. Jesus, our Hope, has promised to never leave His people or forsake them; therefore, we cannot be without hope! We should never relinquish that hope, succumb to hopelessness, based on the natural evidence, the things we perceive with our senses. Scripture tells us our battles are spiritual, fought on our knees before the throne of God, strengthened by fasting and ratified by our obedience. And though the battle seems to rage forever, our Mighty Warrior who saves is eternal and eternally sovereign; He will outlive and outlast any strife that exists on earth. He says who or what is hopeless, and it is said in His time and by His authority alone. 

Photo courtesy Steven Ganski, Jr.

Midweek: Right Between the "I"s

"I can't, Dude!" we heard our youngest declare. He was on the phone with friends who were playing online games shortly before bedtime. "I had my electronics time today," he explained. "I'm not allowed to use them after 7:30." Apparently, he was getting some pushback from the other end of the line. "A good parent sets rules!" I finally heard him assert. I couldn't have been more pleased or more grateful. 

Integrity is a word we've used quite frequently with our young man, and it seems to be taking root. Integrity is a wholeness of being, a purity in which all parts line up perfectly. Thoughts match words which match actions; a being is of the same sound mind no matter the circumstances. It is an important quality in leadership. Integrity is moral uprightness, intellectual uprightness, and social uprightness. The leader with integrity may not get it right all the time, but has a natural inclination toward serving others with every part of their life, and makes decisions that are reliable and difficult. Isn't that what we dream for our sons? Stand up for what is right. Tell the truth. Defend the weak. Do not bend in the face of opposition.

When was the last time you spoke to your daughters about integrity, though? I think our western world is more likely to teach our daughters about another "I," independence. You don't need a man. You can do anything you put your mind to do. Be strong. And I'm beginning to discover we're pretty wrong about all that. Integrity seeks balance and consistency. It's more than just behaving rightly, saying the right things; integrity comes from within and promotes independence. I believe, all this teaching our daughters "independence" stuff has produced some shallow, self-seeking, self-serving, unstable, and unreliable women of questionable character. Like putting the cart before the horse, as they say. Genuine independence is more than surviving on your own or climbing the ladder despite naysayers. It takes a strong woman, willing to disregard opinions and falsehoods, to stand up authentically. To practice independence, one must have integrity first. The idea of putting up a big fat middle finger to "the patriarchy" (as feminists like to call it) is not only childish, but virtually impossible. We need the contributions of men and women to continue and thrive as a society. If we didn't, God would have created Adam or Eve and called it a day. 

Quick story, in 1989, I took a job in a male-dominated industry run by "The Old Boy Network," or so I was told. As women, specifically, demanded greater advantages and recognition, the work environment deteriorated. Accountability waned and disrespect grew. People --all people and especially women --were no longer treated as valuable individuals with unique perspectives, but were now numbers, white noise in a sea of sameness. A culture of teamwork was replaced by a culture of offense; a workplace that used to consist of everyone bringing their best to the table became a workplace in which some were entitled or perceived to be entitled without really having much to offer. The equitable presence of females in workspaces was supported by physiology and quotas -- "helps" --not at all the true strength and independence of the women present. Rather than the type of character that comes from women with integrity --consistently good performance despite circumstances --we got a workforce of qualifiers, not the qualified.

I say all of this because I see many young women out here floundering and pretending. I'm supposed to be strong; I'm supposed to be independent, but how do I do that without being tethered to others? Without integrity they are unable to practice independence. Without some depth of character, without balance, with their moral, intellectual, and social selves dis-integrated, they are grasping at straws to survive --using people, navel-gazing, and flitting from one sexual encounter to another to provide themselves (they hope) with what they need. That's not independence. Quite the opposite, that's dependence caused by a lack of integrity.

So, to all you moms and dads out there, this word of advice: Independence is a byproduct of integrity. Teach your sons and your daughters the inestimable value of integrity. A good parent sets rules and a good example!

This Choice Is Not an Option

"Choices are important." When I was raising my older children, there was no such thing as choice; they did it --whatever it was --or they suffered the consequences. The voice in the training video now instructed me to offer choices. "Are you going to clean your room now, or are you going to do your homework?" As I considered this "new" way of approaching parenting, I recalled how exhausting my earlier days of parenting were. Yes, I was working, and raising children, and homeschooling, and struggling with who I was, and trying to keep up with erroneous standards, and all of that; but how many problems of my own did I create by simply barking out orders and expecting them to be done to my liking? How many times did I take something that would have required fifteen minutes of my self-control and attention, and turn it into a relationship-busting, vein-popping, DEFCON One Level afternoon of frustration and tears? Choices are important. They teach a child how to make choices by allowing them to experience the consequences of those choices. They teach a child they are respected and gently safeguarded by their parent, in their home. They teach a child time management. They teach a child that there are things to be done, not burdens to crush them. They teach a child the importance of self-control through the living example of a self-controlled parent. Choices are important to children of all ages.

Our Father God gives each one of His children choices as well. We are given resources to steward: time, relationships, finances, skills, opportunities, knowledge, etc. "Are you going to abuse the time I've given you by scrolling social media, or are you going to write that text to encourage your sister?" God allows the consequences of our choices to perfect us in that area. Knowing that God has generously given us the resource of time, for instance, but loves us enough to call us to account for our usage, demonstrates His loving care for us and His protection of us. And He calls us to more than we are willing or able to see for ourselves. Allowing us to choose teaches us how to best manage the resources He has given. How long will the family sit quietly at an empty table if I choose to sleep in rather than go to work? I need to manage my time more prudently to avoid a mutiny. The choice and its consequences are solely on me. In essence, God tells His children, "Here is what is best for you, but you are free to choose the other." He does not desire to crush us; poor choices will eventually do that. We follow His Spirit's direction, His example in Jesus Christ, His "advice," if you will, in Torah, and we see self-control in action. It's all a choice: we choose to pursue, to be made better by His grace, to obey, or we don't. But is it optional?

Not if you've made a choice. We are free to sit back and allow time to pass; but eternal life is just as much a quality of life as a quantity of life. If we choose to do nothing, we get nothing. If we choose to squander the resources God gives us, they will be gone, and squander, by definition means with nothing to show for them. No lessons learned, no transformation of character, nothing of any eternal value to bring to account. Not much of an option, is it? At least, it's nothing I'd like to regard as optional. By choosing to follow the Spirit's direction, the example of Jesus, and the tenets of Scripture, we change the course and the quality of our lives and the lives of those around us. And because we live in a world that is counter to those things, we've got to stand passionately and soberly by our choice; that means reckoning our choice as being not optional. The choice to go against the cultural current cannot be optional. It's going to take everything we've got and the powerful grace of our Redeemer and Defender to keep us in the way. We can't hop on and off the "eternity train" whenever it suits and expect to get where we are called to go. Choices are important, but what is equally important is cleaving to and esteeming the choice without option.