Loving Is Not for Sissies!

Set me as a seal over your heart;

        wear me as an emblem on your arm

    For love is as strong as death,

        and jealousy is as relentless as the grave.

    Love flares up like a blazing fire, a very ardent flame.

No amount of water can quench love;

        a raging flood cannot drown it out.

    If a person tried to exchange all of his wealth for love,

        then he would be surely rejected.

~ Song of Songs 8:6-7, The Voice

One day a coworker remarked, "Judi, you're absolutely fearless!" He really didn't know me very well. He saw the Judi that ran after runaway equipment or stood two stories up in the door of an aircraft or disposed of smoking hazardous materials. He never saw the Judi that couldn't decide what color to paint her walls because she was terrified of "getting it wrong," of the criticism of others. Or the Judi so afraid of abandonment, she said whatever was required to please others and subsequently lied to get out of the hasty, people-pleasing promises she made. What he saw as fearless was often more like reckless. What he saw as bravery was often more like bravado. I was insecure and self-centered, not at all the fearless hero I appeared to be. True fearlessness requires love. Think about Jesus' courage and boldness as He stood for hours before corrupt men, falsely accused, judged unjustly, and silent. Think of His resolve as He took lash after lash and step after step on His way to the cross, all the while knowing He had the power to put an end to the circus and an end to each one of its clowns! We consider the events of His crucifixion and are, perhaps, brought to tears of repentance, but do we ever stop to acknowledge the ferocity of the love that compelled Him to endure that, or recognize the fearlessness of a love unto death? Loving is not for sissies!

Our family consists of biological children, stepchildren, and a soon-to-be adopted (Lord willing) child. Loving them has not been easy for a variety of reasons. Our older children experienced the raw, unredeemed, immature, self-centered, ridiculously unwise versions of us. We were, in large measure, the reason why love was an uphill climb. Our younger children have had to live with the crazier, still learning, follow-after-Jesus-which-seems-sometimes-humanly-unsound versions of us. Loving us can't always be easy. Likewise, we've nursed sniffles and stomachaches well into the night, diffused temper tantrums and sibling squabbles every few hours or so, attended baseball games and assembled toys on little to no sleep, sweated with them over homework and cried with them over broken relationships; we have prayed and begged and fasted and pleaded and wept for the safety and salvation of our children. And we have seen some of them still reject Jesus. That's not recklessness or bravado. That's love.

Loving, and loving as Jesus loves, is bravery and boldness, fearlessness and fierceness. It is risking ego for the sake of kindness. It is fighting for those around us rather than with them. It is taking the barb for the greater good. It is apologizing and forgiving when the other has not. It is speaking blessing over the lives of those who have forgotten you exist. It is hours on your knees and day after day of falling on your sword. It is trusting in the One who loves us unto death, and doing all we can to imitate that love. It is fearlessness that springs from the depths of His love for us and the assurance He will never leave us or forsake us in anything He has called us to do. It is being content with the things present --the people, the circumstances, the resources --knowing God has determined, selected, and meted out exactly what we will need (and, perhaps, as much as we can rightly steward) to succeed at whatever assignment He has given us that glory might be brought before His throne. That is love. And it is fearless.

 

Midweek: Review: KJV Large Print Center-Column Reference Bible

Okay, the title may be a mouthful, but with the exception of cross references, this Bible is fairly basic. And very pretty!

Thomas Nelson's Bible Bloggers Program has given me a complimentary copy of the KJV Large Print Center-Column Reference Bible in pink Leathersoft --yes, pink! I'm loving it!

This edition features Comfort Print, a pink satin bookmark, a presentation page, gilt-edged pages, and the words of Jesus in red. The binding is designed so that the Bible lays flat for easy study and comes with a lifetime guarantee. Each book of the Bible is accompanied by a brief introduction and there are more than 50,000 cross references located in the center column of each page. 

In the back matter is a list of the Miracles of Jesus, the Parables of Jesus, a One Year Reading Plan, a Concordance, and color maps. And that's it! There are no fancy commentaries or prayer prompts or essays, no spectacular artwork or harmony of the Gospels. With commentaries and dictionaries available all over the internet, why carry all of that around with you in your Bible? Maybe you're just looking for a "reader," an edition to spend some time simply reading the Word of God, one you keep stashed beside your favorite reading chair or in the map pocket of your SUV for those down-times in the school carline. Maybe you just want to read and listen for the Holy Spirit without the distraction of applications and archeological input. Or maybe you're looking for a Sunday driver --something to carry with you to church and midweek Bible study, while leaving the bulky study Bible at home. The KJV Large Print Center-Column Reference Bible is perfect! It would make a great gift, also! And in pink, it's just too cute! 

Living with the "No"

Two of my friends had just received bad news, devastating disappointments. God was not --at least right now --going to do what they had asked. They love Him. They go to church. They love and serve their families and are generous to those who need help. They do as He asks. Their plans were good plans; the things they wanted were in line with "good things" --maybe even in line with what they believe is God's plan. But God was telling them No.

We've heard it before. The Apostle Paul had a "thorn in his side" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10), something that was plaguing him --he says Satan was using it to buffet him: it was affecting his ability to serve the Lord. Surely God wouldn't want that! Paul prayed three times. From context, we can be fairly certain these requests were not lumped in with Would You send me a new pair of flip-flops? or Can You have someone check in on my cat until I get outta jail? I think when Paul said he prayed, he means he praaaaaayed! I think there was some fasting and some long-suffering going on there. I think Paul wanted something done about it --perhaps even felt as though he needed something done about it. And God said No. For someone as in love with Him as Paul? For someone who got as much done for the Kingdom as Paul? God said No. God's answer was that Paul was just going to have to rely on His grace; it was enough. And this thing, this testimony was for God's glory: His strength would be perfected through Paul's weakness. Paul makes his point in verse 10, saying:

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul has come to the knowledge, to the resolution that this is good --whatever this was. I can live with poor eyesight because...God. I can struggle financially because...God. I can face the temptation of porn because...God. I can love my rebellious child because...God. And in just a couple of verses we experience the victory. I take pleasure in infirmities...!

But what about that place just before the victory, just before the resolution? What about the No? Our nature rebels against it. The No is a place that can last years if we let it. A few verses or the time it takes to read them may not begin to cover what it takes to get to that place of knowledge, of resolution, of victory. And while living with the No can be difficult, living in the No can be even more so --a much easier choice, a more natural pursuit, but a much more unpleasant road. Living in the No means day after day I put myself at odds with the One who created me, who loves me, who knows what is best for me. It means I covet something He has placed off limits --at least for me, at least for now. It means I am choosing my plans, my goals, my entitlement over His plan for my eternity. Living in the No means my heart is set against God's refusal to give me what I want (How long before it is set against God altogether?); I measure God's lack of goodness to me against what I perceive to be His favor in the lives of others; I do not join others in whole-heartedly celebrating God's work in the world; my days are filled with searching for what I want, sorrow over my inability to procure it, and dissatisfaction with what I have been given. 

To live with the No requires a choice against human nature, the choice to accept God's sovereignty, His promises, His love. It requires a choice to be selfless, humble, and unentitled. It requires a choice to crucify the flesh and not put physical desires where desire for God should be. To live with the No requires a choice to see things as God sees --or, at least, pursue that --and to know He can do anything. To live with the No requires a choice to be changed rather than demand God changes things for us. To live with the No is to despise entitlement and embrace eternal life. Living with the No embraces just that --living. Yes, I have cancer, but at this moment I am alive and able to do something for the Kingdom. Yes, the bank just foreclosed on us, but at this moment we are alive and able to do something for the Kingdom. There may be times when we or those we love are faced with a No, but it's vital we choose not to live there. In fact, for believers, living in the No isn't really an option: our focus should never be ourselves. Our vision is as infinite as the God we serve, our message should always stand out from the rest of the world, and our hope is eternal. With Paul, let us celebrate the No as we live with it, not in it.

For the Sake of Relationship

It's 13:56 on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. (Pardon the 24-hour clock: old habits die hard) The little icon at the bottom of my computer screen is telling me it's sixty-three magnificent degrees! When our youngest and I decided to step out here and enjoy this gorgeous weather, it was some five minutes earlier. Now, I realize five minutes doesn't account for much, but on an afternoon like today in March, with an entire week of rain predicted ahead of us, it's all I can do to get outside and find my seat in the sun. The thing is, when we announced our impending departure, my husband immediately told us to stay right where we were so he could take care of some things on the deck. That meant he had to go to the basement, get the leaf blower, change the battery, if need be, not get distracted by something else (not an easy task when we're in our late fifties), blow the shag off the deck, putter around with anything else that seemed to be amiss, and give us the all-clear. All while those golden, glorious moments ticked away. There have been times, a long, long time ago (or, at least, I'd like to think; maybe it was just as recent as last week) when I would stamp and snort in frustration. Can't I just get out there and do my thing? Really, what is the difference? But my husband has an ulterior motive --maybe two. Number One: he doesn't want the dirt and debris dragged into the house. Number Two: he really does want the outdoor space I enjoy so much to be enjoyable, clean, comfortable, pretty. That's why he goes through all the trouble and expense each year of planting annuals and fertilizing the grass, raking and seeding, even caring for the yard in the off-season to prepare for the summer months. He wants things to be "right." 

Now, I could talk about the difference between his idea of "right" and mine, and maybe I will another day; but someone wanting to make things "right" for me is what I dreamed of for years: I wanted someone to love me and care for me. The thing is, when God gave me that someone, I had (sometimes still have) much difficulty accepting it. You see, in addition to having someone who leaves me alone to read on a Sunday afternoon, I have to be willing to accept someone who wants to take a few minutes to blow off the deck. In addition to someone who wants to take me to my favorite burger place for dinner, I have to be willing to stand back and let that someone get the door for me. I have to allow room for him to love me in the ways that are important to him as well as love me in the ways that are important to me. I'm not saying he should never speak my love language, but I am saying I should be fluent in his as well. If planting flowers and pulling out my chair and washing my car are ways he enjoys blessing me, I have to allow him room to do that with minimal stomping and snorting.

I really love that in 2 Corinthians 5:18,19, God through Paul is talking about reconciliation, relationship. He tells us that in the same way we have been reconciled to God, relationship restored through the death of Christ on the cross, we are to spread the word to others, tell them they, too, can be reconciled to God. In order to do that, however, we have to be people of relationship. In the chapters that follow, Paul tells the people of Corinth what that looks like; they are to be mindful not to obstruct others in their coming to Christ, that in all circumstances they (and we by extension) are to act as ministers to others and ambassadors of Christ; we are to be standouts, set apart so that we are not mistaken for the world; we are to accept goldy counsel and correction for the sake of the body of Christ and for those to whom we minister; we are to give godly counsel and correction for the very same reasons; we are to give liberally and, when we have done so, give more. When it comes to reconciliation and relationship, Christ is our model. He shows us the way to love others and to make way for others to love us. Remember the woman who anointed His head with expensive oil? or the one with the bad reputation who washed His feet with her tears? or that wee little man Jesus allowed to serve Him dinner? Jesus created opportunities for people to worship Him and love on Him --from their hearts, and He did not turn away those who longed to lavish their gifts on Him --gifts that were unique to them and personally sacrificial. Is there a better way to give? Is there a better gift to receive?

As human beings, we have a need to love and be loved. And while many things other than a clean deck or fresh mulch melt my heart, it's important I give my husband the room to love on me in ways that are unique and heartfelt. And if it costs me five minutes on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, it will be more than worth it for the sake of relationship.