Loving Is Not for Sissies!

Set me as a seal over your heart;

        wear me as an emblem on your arm

    For love is as strong as death,

        and jealousy is as relentless as the grave.

    Love flares up like a blazing fire, a very ardent flame.

No amount of water can quench love;

        a raging flood cannot drown it out.

    If a person tried to exchange all of his wealth for love,

        then he would be surely rejected.

~ Song of Songs 8:6-7, The Voice

One day a coworker remarked, "Judi, you're absolutely fearless!" He really didn't know me very well. He saw the Judi that ran after runaway equipment or stood two stories up in the door of an aircraft or disposed of smoking hazardous materials. He never saw the Judi that couldn't decide what color to paint her walls because she was terrified of "getting it wrong," of the criticism of others. Or the Judi so afraid of abandonment, she said whatever was required to please others and subsequently lied to get out of the hasty, people-pleasing promises she made. What he saw as fearless was often more like reckless. What he saw as bravery was often more like bravado. I was insecure and self-centered, not at all the fearless hero I appeared to be. True fearlessness requires love. Think about Jesus' courage and boldness as He stood for hours before corrupt men, falsely accused, judged unjustly, and silent. Think of His resolve as He took lash after lash and step after step on His way to the cross, all the while knowing He had the power to put an end to the circus and an end to each one of its clowns! We consider the events of His crucifixion and are, perhaps, brought to tears of repentance, but do we ever stop to acknowledge the ferocity of the love that compelled Him to endure that, or recognize the fearlessness of a love unto death? Loving is not for sissies!

Our family consists of biological children, stepchildren, and a soon-to-be adopted (Lord willing) child. Loving them has not been easy for a variety of reasons. Our older children experienced the raw, unredeemed, immature, self-centered, ridiculously unwise versions of us. We were, in large measure, the reason why love was an uphill climb. Our younger children have had to live with the crazier, still learning, follow-after-Jesus-which-seems-sometimes-humanly-unsound versions of us. Loving us can't always be easy. Likewise, we've nursed sniffles and stomachaches well into the night, diffused temper tantrums and sibling squabbles every few hours or so, attended baseball games and assembled toys on little to no sleep, sweated with them over homework and cried with them over broken relationships; we have prayed and begged and fasted and pleaded and wept for the safety and salvation of our children. And we have seen some of them still reject Jesus. That's not recklessness or bravado. That's love.

Loving, and loving as Jesus loves, is bravery and boldness, fearlessness and fierceness. It is risking ego for the sake of kindness. It is fighting for those around us rather than with them. It is taking the barb for the greater good. It is apologizing and forgiving when the other has not. It is speaking blessing over the lives of those who have forgotten you exist. It is hours on your knees and day after day of falling on your sword. It is trusting in the One who loves us unto death, and doing all we can to imitate that love. It is fearlessness that springs from the depths of His love for us and the assurance He will never leave us or forsake us in anything He has called us to do. It is being content with the things present --the people, the circumstances, the resources --knowing God has determined, selected, and meted out exactly what we will need (and, perhaps, as much as we can rightly steward) to succeed at whatever assignment He has given us that glory might be brought before His throne. That is love. And it is fearless.