For the Sake of Relationship

It's 13:56 on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. (Pardon the 24-hour clock: old habits die hard) The little icon at the bottom of my computer screen is telling me it's sixty-three magnificent degrees! When our youngest and I decided to step out here and enjoy this gorgeous weather, it was some five minutes earlier. Now, I realize five minutes doesn't account for much, but on an afternoon like today in March, with an entire week of rain predicted ahead of us, it's all I can do to get outside and find my seat in the sun. The thing is, when we announced our impending departure, my husband immediately told us to stay right where we were so he could take care of some things on the deck. That meant he had to go to the basement, get the leaf blower, change the battery, if need be, not get distracted by something else (not an easy task when we're in our late fifties), blow the shag off the deck, putter around with anything else that seemed to be amiss, and give us the all-clear. All while those golden, glorious moments ticked away. There have been times, a long, long time ago (or, at least, I'd like to think; maybe it was just as recent as last week) when I would stamp and snort in frustration. Can't I just get out there and do my thing? Really, what is the difference? But my husband has an ulterior motive --maybe two. Number One: he doesn't want the dirt and debris dragged into the house. Number Two: he really does want the outdoor space I enjoy so much to be enjoyable, clean, comfortable, pretty. That's why he goes through all the trouble and expense each year of planting annuals and fertilizing the grass, raking and seeding, even caring for the yard in the off-season to prepare for the summer months. He wants things to be "right." 

Now, I could talk about the difference between his idea of "right" and mine, and maybe I will another day; but someone wanting to make things "right" for me is what I dreamed of for years: I wanted someone to love me and care for me. The thing is, when God gave me that someone, I had (sometimes still have) much difficulty accepting it. You see, in addition to having someone who leaves me alone to read on a Sunday afternoon, I have to be willing to accept someone who wants to take a few minutes to blow off the deck. In addition to someone who wants to take me to my favorite burger place for dinner, I have to be willing to stand back and let that someone get the door for me. I have to allow room for him to love me in the ways that are important to him as well as love me in the ways that are important to me. I'm not saying he should never speak my love language, but I am saying I should be fluent in his as well. If planting flowers and pulling out my chair and washing my car are ways he enjoys blessing me, I have to allow him room to do that with minimal stomping and snorting.

I really love that in 2 Corinthians 5:18,19, God through Paul is talking about reconciliation, relationship. He tells us that in the same way we have been reconciled to God, relationship restored through the death of Christ on the cross, we are to spread the word to others, tell them they, too, can be reconciled to God. In order to do that, however, we have to be people of relationship. In the chapters that follow, Paul tells the people of Corinth what that looks like; they are to be mindful not to obstruct others in their coming to Christ, that in all circumstances they (and we by extension) are to act as ministers to others and ambassadors of Christ; we are to be standouts, set apart so that we are not mistaken for the world; we are to accept goldy counsel and correction for the sake of the body of Christ and for those to whom we minister; we are to give godly counsel and correction for the very same reasons; we are to give liberally and, when we have done so, give more. When it comes to reconciliation and relationship, Christ is our model. He shows us the way to love others and to make way for others to love us. Remember the woman who anointed His head with expensive oil? or the one with the bad reputation who washed His feet with her tears? or that wee little man Jesus allowed to serve Him dinner? Jesus created opportunities for people to worship Him and love on Him --from their hearts, and He did not turn away those who longed to lavish their gifts on Him --gifts that were unique to them and personally sacrificial. Is there a better way to give? Is there a better gift to receive?

As human beings, we have a need to love and be loved. And while many things other than a clean deck or fresh mulch melt my heart, it's important I give my husband the room to love on me in ways that are unique and heartfelt. And if it costs me five minutes on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, it will be more than worth it for the sake of relationship.