Go Ahead. I Dare You.

One day, I began going to a Bible study. If you'd asked me why, I probably would have told you, "I don't know." Honestly, at that time, it just seemed like something I wanted to do. And that is exactly what it was, only I didn't realize it; I couldn't tell you when it happened, but God's Holy Spirit was working in me, drawing me to Him, and giving me a greater desire to know Him. Praise God! These days, I attend two studies in addition to personal Bible study each day. Now, that doesn't give me extra trophies, it simply testifies to two things: 1) I just might need more "couch time" than other folks, and 2) I am blessed to be able to do something I truly want to do -- study God's Word -- a lot! And that "want to" didn't come from me.

That first study was a group of women, twenty or more years my senior, taught by a man -- a pastor, in a stuffy lounge that smelled like Grandma's sitting room. No snacks. No coffee. Couches that hurt my back. Windows almost all the way around, so as I sat inside, I could see the golden sunshine and emerald green trees swaying in light breezes; I could almost smell the fresh air -- except that this particular room, including faded plastic flower arrangements, hadn't been disturbed since 1970. You know the smell. I know you do. Why would any rational person do that to themselves? I loved every minute. We were studying God's Word. We were sinking deeper and deeper into who God is and developing a response to that. 

I think I've mentioned before a prayer that I prayed as I drove to work one morning. I had already turned what I thought was everything over to God. I had asked Him to use me in whatever way He saw fit, to transform my life into something that would bring Him glory. And I meant those things. In all honesty, though, I wanted those things because I just didn't want to go through the chaos and pain I'd gone through in the past. If there was chaos, I wanted to trust that God would do something terrific from it. If there was pain, I wanted to know I wasn't going through it because of my own sin. I guess, in some way, He was more like a broker. I was admitting I'd made some terrible investments, handing over my portfolio, and saying, "I know You know what You're doing. Have at it." And as self-centered as my thinking was, God refused to allow me to stay in that place. I began to realize I didn't really love God as I wanted; the love, the passion for Him just wasn't there. And it was on that back airport road the thought occurred to me: just ask God to show you how to love Him. I asked, but it wasn't then His work began, because He had been changing me all along; it was then I knew it was His Spirit at work. It was then I acknowledged that, apart from Him I can do nothing -- not even follow Him. I wasn't sitting in Bible study just because I enjoyed the smell of plastic melting in the noonday sun. I wasn't turning things over to God just because it was my idea. I wasn't desiring a deeper relationship with God because I sought Him. It was all because He was pursuing me; it was because He had a plan to use me for His glory and it was time I took the job.

Whatever it is, wherever you are in your relationship with God, I dare you to ask Him to change it. I dare you to ask Him to change those "boring sermons" into messages you hunger for. I dare you to ask Him to change those prayers that seem to go no further than the ceiling into powerful conversations. I dare you to ask Him to give you a selfless love for those neighbors that park in your driveway as if they own it. I dare you to ask Him to show you how to love Him with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. And maybe I'll see you at study. This one has snacks!