Midweek: The Lesson

Even when princes set to scheme against me,

Your servant dwelled on Your statutes.

~ Psalm 119:23 (Alter) 

Imagine Elijah, pursued by the queen's forces for killing the prophets of Baal. Imagine David hiding in caves to escape the hateful designs of the king upon his life. Imagine the disciples of God, fearing and fleeing Paul (before his conversion) as he breathed out threats and racked up a body count of innocents. Fear. Chaos. The unknown. A powerful enemy and what appears to be a serious lack of resources.

Let me tell you a little story...

Chapter One: Bad Decisions. My husband and I took a much needed vacation. Our timing probably wasn't the best --it was just as things were opening up after a certain pandemic, we ourselves were on the tail end of a brief experience with it --but we'd had enough; we needed to get away. Our pick of destination may not have been very wise either --we chose the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee in January --but, again, we'd had enough. I wanted isolation. I wanted to be removed from the busy "normals" of life. So be it! The night we arrived, so did a storm. Snow! Ooh! Ahh! A winter wonderland! But the ice? On a mountain? Not so much. Our dreams of a romantic dinner in town, returning to our mountain hideaway... Our dreams of sightseeing under a Southern sun in forty-degree temps... Gone! Instead, we received for our money an empty fridge, grey skies, and a forty-degree ice-covered slope to the main road. Given little option, we saddled up the luxury SUV we'd rented, hereby dubbed a pavement princess exclusively!, and attempted to procure provisions. 

Chapter Two: The Slope. As we started down the slope leading to the main road, we encountered ice. Slick and terrifying. Terrifying because on one side of the narrow slope was about a foot of brush before the solid rock of the mountain's upside. On the other side of the narrow slope was about a foot of brush before the certain calamity of the mountain's downside.   

        No guardrail. 
                At all. 
With every foot we crept, the rear of our pavement princess slid closer to the edge of the downside while the front threatened to lose traction completely. The option of backing up the slope garnered the same result as the attempt to move down, only in reverse. The front end of the vehicle sought the precipice while the back end struggled to hold the slope. In all my husband's years of driving, he'd never been so unnerved. In all my years of praying, I'd never longed so badly to bounce off of a guardrail.    

Chapter Three: The Lesson. Okay, if I'm being honest, we learned lots of lessons that trip; but here I am, sitting safely in my office almost five years later being shown another. That day I kept wishing for a guardrail, some sort of barrier to keep us from going off the edge. Better to sideswipe some rocks than roll eighty feet down a mountainside! Your servant dwelled on Your statutes. Seeing God's law as the protective barrier that, though we may bounce off it a time or two (or more, if we're particularly inclined to repeat offenses), it keeps us from dropping headlong to our peril. That icy slope represented all sorts of treachery; but having the benefit of a guardrail, as hard as it would have been on our pavement princess were we to ride it all the way to the bottom, would have assured us of safety. God's law, guiding us, keeping us --as hard as it is on our human nature to obey --guards us against the certain peril of leaving the path. Even when the distractions are many, even when fear grips us menacingly, even when all around us is thrown into chaos, even when we cannot know what lies ahead, the statutes of God --if we dwell on them, build our lives on their truth --we have the blessing of a guard and guide as we follow after Christ our conquering King.   

  

Where Is Your Confidence?

This year I made up my mind I was buying myself a new outfit for Easter. I've had the same few thrift store dresses on "REPEAT", and I wanted to celebrate by rocking something brand new. So, I headed out that Saturday to do a little shopping. A cheery little set called to me as I walked in the store. I took a few minutes to try it on in a dressing room and loved it! Comfy, stylish; different from most of my other ensembles, yet "so me." Sunday morning, however, was a different story. Had I gained ten pounds in the hours since I'd left the store? Did it shrink as it hung in my closet? How did I leave the store feeling so confident, and now I'm sitting here rethinking every fashion choice I've ever made?

Weeks after, I was tucking in our youngest and, from the story we were reading, I asked the question, "What is the difference between confidence in yourself and confidence in God?" His answer was profound:

Confidence in God is a complete gift. Confidence in yourself, you are always trying to gain; it comes and goes.

Let me say that again for the folks in the back. Confidence in God is a complete gift. Confidence in yourself, you are always trying to gain; it comes and goes. Who am I kidding? That was not just for the people in the back; that was for me! And, hopefully, it benefits you as well. 

Don Matzat, author of the wonderful book, Christ-Esteem: Where the Search for Self-Esteem Ends emphasizes the importance of keeping ourselves centered on Christ, especially during times of personal struggle. Good Christians who are hurting are sometimes misled into thinking they lack self-love or self-esteem; they can also be misled when it comes to confidence. Oh, Sister Anita does so much for the Lord; she is fearless! Or, Have you heard Pastor Tim is writing a book? I wish I had that much confidence in my abilities. The real truth is, Sister Anita and Pastor Tim (hopefully) are not riding out some tremendous wave of confidence in their own character or talents any more than they have super self-esteem. They are succeeding in what they have been given to do because their identity and their confidence rests in the One handing out the assignments.

Recently, I was asked to take a position in our church. It was explained that this was, in a sense, a mere formality. You're already doing it; that's why we're asking you to receive it. Okay, no pressure. But the day of, the day this was to be "made formal" I contemplated taking the dog for a veeeeery long walk, perhaps into the next time zone. Not only does recognition make me uneasy, but I felt like such a fraud. I don't... I do... I can't... All of the arguments as to why I was absolutely, irrefutably unfit for the job I'd "already been doing." Somewhere along the line, I'd allowed my confidence in the Commissioner to be replaced by a shaky, volatile, coming-and-going reliance on little ol' me, the fractured earthen vessel, the fumbler, the rebel, the commissioned. Confidence in God is a complete gift. Confidence in yourself, you are always trying to gain; it comes and goes. Like the feeling when actually wearing your new clothes doesn't live up to having new clothes. Like the reality check that hits you hours before you're supposed to publicly accept a designation.

Hebrews 10:35 encourages us to not throw away our confidence. Now, I've heard a certain "teacher" explain this to be feeling assured with regard to our abilities, knowing we are children of the King and we can do this. Not at all. In context, God through the writer of Hebrews is clearly talking about the confidence that comes from trusting the One who has called us to do the things we've been called to do.

Meyer's NT Commentary says:

The self-sacrificing zeal for Christianity displayed in the past ought to animate the readers to a joyful maintenance of the same likewise in the present...

Ellicott's Commentary says:

Rather, 'Cast not away therefore your boldness, seeing it hath a great recompence.' To 'cast away boldness' is the opposite of 'holding fast the boldness of the hope' (Hebrews 3:6); the one belongs to the endurance of the faithful servant (Hebrews 10:32; Hebrews 10:36), the other to the cowardice of the man who draws back (Hebrews 10:38). This verse and the next are closely connected: Hold fast your boldness, seeing that to it belongs great reward; hold it fast, for 'he that endureth to the end shall be saved.'

The confidence we have comes from the Shepherd who never leaves His sheep, who is our comprehensive and perfect Atonement, who works for our good at all times, whose grace is sufficient, who gives gifts and cultivates fruit through His Holy Spirit whom He gave us, who promises we are more than conquerors through Him... BUT it's all through Him, in Him, and for Him. The confidence that we never have to gain or work for, that never comes and goes, but is with us in full and always.  

As Real as Water in Our Hands

I don't think I'm alone in saying I remember nothing from the movie The Miracle Worker but the water scene. It's a breakthrough moment, the one we've all been awaiting. Helen Keller (actress Patty Duke) first realizes the word she is signing, water, identifies the liquid she is actually feeling coming from the pump; water is a thing itself, and the letters, w-a-t-e-r, identify that thing.

In the upcoming year, my plan is to revisit my old journals, to begin reading through them a little each day. I know I will find pain there. I know I will find history. I know I will find an emergence of illumination and commitment. What I will find most disturbing --and I know I will find it, because I know me --I will find the same things written again and again. I will find these AHA! moments, when the light finally dawns, when the water becomes a real thing to me, and I will find them --the same ones --again and again. What a merciful God, who has taken me over the same ground again and again that I might be changed! BUT why, if I am who I claim to be, if I love as I say I do, should He have to do so? Did Helen Keller have to be taught again and again the substance of water? Did she require Anne Sullivan to place her hand under the spout day after day, signing the letters, w-a-t-e-r over and over? The breakthrough had come, and from that moment on, Helen Keller knew what water was. When she signed the letters, w-a-t-e-r, she wasn't asking to go outside; she wasn't identifying a sound in the woods; Helen Keller knew what water wasn't. From that instance, truth, reality, identity was fixed in the mind of a deaf and blind woman. For life! Oh, that I could say the same! But breakthrough with regard to spiritual things in a temporal place, seems to come and go as quickly as a paycheck. Again, and again, and again, God imparts truth to us in various ways. A sermon, the Holy Spirit's move as we read the Scriptures, an object lesson, the passing words of someone in the feed store, the smell of honeysuckle in early Summer --so many ways He presents truth to us, giving us opportunity after opportunity to make truth as real to us as water in the hands of Helen Keller. And yet, we treat those lessons so casually. 

What would happen if God stopped? What would happen if He withdrew the work of His Holy Spirit in our lives, cancelled class for the day or the week or the rest of time? The assurance that He will teach and remain with His children does not give us license to undervalue or abuse the gifts He gives. Just as Paul could not stomach the idea that grace provides license that sin might abound, our Lord's Holy Spirit with us should never be taken for granted nor should we put off for another day what His Word instructs us to observe today. The moments we have with our Lord are precious. Eternity does not make them any less timely or costly. His mercies, while new in abundance each day, are not redundant or disposable. We are privileged to be mentored and accompanied by our King's very presence. Let us treasure His lessons as water to a parched land. Let us not merely study to know or consume, but to hold fast, to demonstrate ourselves as abiding in the way to which we have been saved. Let us appreciate those AHA! moments when we are given them but routinely receive His instruction with intention and all due diligence.  

Midweek: When All Else Fails... We Are Already There

I was listening to a conversa-- okay, eavesdropping; I was eavesdropping. But it wasn't like they were being quiet about it. So, one person was talking about some things that were going on, things that were making life difficult. The other person volunteered encouragement: When all else fails, pray! Well, I think it was supposed to be some sort of encouragement. Now, I'm not judging; really, I'm not. How often have I contrived a dozen schemes before it's ever occurred to me to pray? How often have I picked up the "prayer line" because the fire is much too large for me to extinguish and, Lord knows, I've tried! 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6,7)

Pray.About.Everything. Should I take the job? How do I handle this issue with my spouse? What should I be doing to improve my health? Which road should I take to work today? Pray.About.Everything. Does that sound weird to you? If I'm being honest, there was a time when it probably sounded a little "extra" to me. Do I seriously have time to stop and pray about whether I should feed the kids breakfast or make the beds first? But here's the thing, Scripture tells us that prayer should be more like breathing. We don't have to be reminded of that, do we? 1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to pray without ceasing. Like the in and out of our breath. Like the thoughts that constantly wiggle or blast through our brains as we do other things --even as we think and say other things. 

Take a moment and inventory the thoughts swirling around your brain as you read this. Can you still comprehend while considering projects you'd like to tackle this weekend? The brain is pretty amazing, and depending on the level of difficulty, is fairly capable of doing two or more things as once. For instance, I can do some light reading, listen to music, and keep track of time so my waffles don't burn. I can text a couple of friends (keeping the conversations straight, mind you), keep an ear out for the dog wanting to be let back inside, and pay bills simultaneously. I can sing the words of my favorite hymns while being reminded of and lifting up my family in prayer. All the while, I am breathing. And prayer is like breathing. Prayer is a running, real-time dialogue with The Spirit who inhabits our spirit. Prayer is thinking a thought --Luci wants back in --and lifting that thought up to our Friend and Creator --Thank You, God, for these moments of routine, or Thank You, Lord, for the beautiful weather. And sometimes the conversation continues: Come outside for a few minutes and sit. Appreciate the green of the trees; enjoy the warmth of the sun on your face. And even more thoughts upon which to pray: Thank You, Father, for the opportunity to share this garden with my mother for so many days. I miss her deeply, but I know she is with You, and she is whole. Praise Your name! Allowing prayer to overtake you the same way thoughts do. Allowing prayer to become as unobtrusive as breathing. Allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you as you pause and remain still in the present --in God's presence, for just a moment or two. Ceaseless. All inclusive. But fully authentic, and just as God's Word implores. When all else fails, we do not have to be encouraged to pray, we are already there.