No Time to Multi-Task

My husband thinks he can multi-task. His attempts at doing so usually result in my repeating myself.

So, I wasn't able to get to the bank today because the dentist had a cancellation and wanted to change my appointment to 2:00. I wasn't scheduled until 4:30, but that means I wouldn't be home until after 5; why not take advantage of the earlier appointment? They didn't call until 1, though, and it was all I could do to get there by 2. Of course, by the time I got out the bank was closed.

Scott, looking up from his phone: So, were you able to make it to the bank?

*sigh*

My female brain, on the other hand, allows me to be pretty good at it. I can prepare dinner, keep track of weekend plans, manage the grocery list, and remember to give Mom her vitamins. But, even with a relatively sharp multi-tasking machine atop my shoulders, I have my limitations. What occurred to me the other day was, God does not.

Take for instance, Christ's resurrection. What was going on at the exact moment Jesus emerged from the tomb? Was a ewe giving birth on a hillside? Was a child's fever breaking for the first time in days? Were the crumpled new wings of a butterfly finally bursting forth from its hours-long struggle? Was a bud exchanging its life for a bloom? Was a mother listening to her baby's heart beat for the very last time?

Matthew 27:45-53 recalls the remarkable events that occurred at Jesus' death: darkness, an earthquake, the rending of the temple curtain, and the dead raised to life, walking about. Verse 54 records, at the very least, an anticipated response: "So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, 'Truly this was the Son of God!'” But at His resurrection --exact moment undisclosed!-- we're told of guards at work, women eager to finish preserving their Teacher's body, the disciples probably sitting Shiva with Mary and most likely afraid they would be next. All things in this world, as we know them to be, continuing normally. And God not even breaking a sweat. Life was now coursing through the physical body of Jesus Christ, His limbs plumping up as blood began to flow, His brain igniting nerves and nerves awakening muscles. Breath filled His lungs. Wounds were healed. And God didn't ask one creature to repeat themselves. The planets didn't pause. There was no hiccup in the circle of life. God didn't turn the radio down or tell everyone in the backseat to quiet down so He could think for a minute. God sustained all of creation at the very same instant He raised to life His only begotten Son. At the very moment He was reversing Christ's human mortality, God was also speaking to the wind and the waves, preparing the sun for a new day, and calling the stars back home. 

How important it is to focus on who God is and who we are not. As sophisticated as our brains are, as many talents as we have been given, when it comes to giving our attention to God, we need to put all of our multi-tasking to the side. We need to take that time each day to read in His words who He is, to think about what we've learned and ask Him what it is we're suppose to learn anew, and be still so we hear Him when He speaks. All this He has done, so much more He longs to give us, but our minds and hearts need to be centered on Him alone in a time that belongs to Him alone.

For Such a Time As This

A nefarious villain has contrived a plan whereby you, your family, and all of your relations will be exterminated. Your uncle believes you might have some leverage with the local authorities, but it's going to require some risk: you might be executed. You resist-- I mean, who wouldn't --but the seed has been planted, and Unc's words ring in your ears: Who knows if this isn't the very reason you were put here? You step up, the villain is defeated, and your purpose in life is celebrated throughout eternity. Can't you just hear the roar of the crowd?

My modern, extremely abbreviated adaptation of the book Esther aside, God has created each one of us for a reason. Westminster catechism says that our "chief end", our greatest reason for being, is "to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. In Esther 4:14, Mordecai, when encouraging Esther to stand up and expose Haman's conspiracy against the Jewish people, cautions her:

Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Easy to see the purpose for which Esther was created, she saved the people of God. It's all here in black and white. Or is it? If you read on, Esther did advocate for God's people, Esther did talk to the king about legislating a different ending for them and a much unexpected ending for Haman. Ta-da! But Esther is not our hero here. If the purpose of Scripture is to reveal who God is, perhaps Esther's purpose was more about revealing God's infinite knowledge of events, offering Esther, in this place at this time, an opportunity to do what God called her to do. Perhaps "purpose" was more about God's sovereignty, using Hadassah's (Esther's given, Israelite name) abduction for the good of His people; about God's hatred of evil, so much so He took swift action to put an end to it and spare His chosen. And speaking of His chosen, because of God's calling on Mordecai and Esther, and their obedience, the line of ancestry that would be Jesus' was preserved, God Incarnate would be born, our Savior would bear our sins and take them with Him to the grave; He would rise again, guaranteeing our resurrection, ascend to Heaven to prepare for the arrival of those who, He has chosen to be sons and daughters of God. Talk about purpose!

So what is God calling you to do today? Save a nation? Right a wrong? Well the truth of it is your obedience will always point to God's purpose. So let's just glorify God with our whole being and enjoy Him forever. For such a time as this.

Safe at Home

Recently, Scott headed to Boston for a few days with one of the kids. I felt like a teenager whose parents had foolishly left her alone for the weekend. Whoo hoo! I turned off the AC, opened the windows, cranked up the music --my music, and got to doing some of the tasks on my list of things to do. I, The Chucker, threw out stuff without having to justify my actions to Scott, The Saver. I rearranged, repainted, and repurposed. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, or I didn't. The television remote lay cold and forgotten on the mantel as I read for hours on the deck. The me that I am could be; but the me that I am cannot be apart from Scott.

The divorce rate in the U.S. is one of the highest. That being said, we're a country that focuses on rights. Someone once told me he had a right to be happy (not true), and if his wife couldn't make him happy, he had a right to find someone who did; she should just accept it and allow him to do that! Did you get that? This guy still wanted to remain married to the mother of his children while seeking out another woman (or, other women, it later turned out) to "make him happy!" I'm not going to pick all of that apart --there's just so much wrong there-- but, I will say, this individual felt he could be married and still remain who he was before: single in mindset, a womanizer, and deeply disturbed. So many marriages end because someone decides the person they have become within the confines of marriage is not who they want to be and, therefore, it must be the other person's fault, or they must slough off the heavy yoke of marriage to go a-searchin' for the me they want to be.

It's true, I cannot go back to the me I used to be before Scott and I were married. That person was single, in charge of raising her children and running her household by herself, solely responsible for navigating all of life's disappointments and blessings; that person didn't require anyone else's approval to repaint or host a party or even change what side of the bed she slept on. But that person didn't have the freedom to express herself daily to someone who understands her intimately, or share life with someone who wants to share as much of it with her as God will allow. And that person certainly couldn't do whatever she wanted; no one-- married or single-- has the right to do whatever they want. (Unless, of course, their wants are the type of wants that serve a greater purpose, that have eternal value, that place others before themselves, that are held to a higher standard. Unless they have been transformed into someone perfectly righteous, governed by a new nature.)

G.K. Chesterton once said, "The more I considered Christianity, the more I found that while it had established a rule and order, the chief aim of that order was to give room for good things to run wild." Good things require boundaries in order to thrive. Children do not feel secure unless they know someone has established rules for their benefit. Adults need employee handbooks to understand what their employer will and will not allow, rather than spending a career wondering if they are missing out on something or overstepping. And a marriage is the boundary in which two people can grow into the best versions of themselves with the support, wisdom, and if necessary, correction of the other.

The best part of Scott's absence was knowing it was temporary, that when the trip was over, our life together would take on its usual appearance, that we could share with one another the experiences we enjoyed while we were apart in body but certainly not in devotion.

2 for Flinching

As kids we played a game called "2 for Flinching." In this highly technical, well thought out game, one judicious individual would fake a punch at another equally judicious individual. If the imperiled subject flinched, the aggressor was entitled to punch them (for real this time) twice, hence, 2 for Flinching. I'm not certain it was an intended outcome --I'm certain it wasn't a thoroughly advisable one, but eventually, one would become conditioned not to flinch despite the threat of an approaching fist. Oddly enough, the memory of playing this game came back to me during my morning devotions. The season we are in right now, particularly, caring for my mom leaves both my husband and I frustrated, exhausted, and wrestling with lots of questions. What caused this? Why has God allowed this to go on much longer than anyone anticipated? How can I be a better person because of this? 

Personally, I have struggled with anger as long as I can remember. Triggers give rise to feelings that have, from time to time, resulted in ungodly behavior. I've prayed regularly about it; I've read the verses, memorized a few of them, and by no means discount their truth and God's power, but I am far from free of the struggle. As a matter of fact, that's what I was once again bringing before the Lord: my anger. Which, by the way, I have got to stop saying; my anger indicates ownership. I don't want it and as a redeemed child of God, it is not a part of my new nature. So, I was bringing this anger thing before the Lord when He reminded me, the things that tend to set me off are not necessarily attacks or punches, if you will, but experiences intended to condition me to keep me from reacting in a way that displeases God, disrespects others, and damages my testimony; these experiences will condition me to be a better person so long as I keep going through them. He also reminded me that He has already done a tremendous work in me: reactions I allowed years ago, I would never consider today, and things that provoked me years ago barely raise an eyebrow today.  2 for Flinching.

Proverbs 24:16 says, The righteous may fall seven times but still get up, but the wicked will stumble into trouble. Am I righteous? Yes, I am. Not by my own righteousness, but I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. That means that I will stumble, but I will get back up; I will continue to confess my sin, ask God's forgiveness, pray for His grace, and study His Word that I might fill my heart and mind with truth. I will trust that in His time, in His way, and by His Holy Spirit my actions will more consistently and more accurately reflect what is in my heart: the desire to love and serve God by loving and serving others. I will not allow anger to go unaddressed and I will not throw my hands up in defeat. I will put on the belt of truth and wait on the Lord. I will continue to engage, embrace what God sends my way, keep my eyes on Him, even fail again and again. And I will wait to one day be conditioned not to flinch at all.