Praying the 12 Steps of Recovery for Those in Addiction

In 2018, my husband and I were called by the Lord to be part of a situation we had left behind. It was a problem we no longer tried to solve, no longer wanted to solve, and, quite honestly, only occasionally asked God to solve. This new commission renewed our hope, at the same time, placing us right in the thick of things once again. A little over a month ago, it ended as quickly as it began. It was heart-breaking. We experienced grief, loss, fear, anger, betrayal, and emptiness; but most of all, utter confusion. NOTHING had been resolved. If anything, the situation was more volatile than before. What had been the purpose for all of this?

I don't have that answer in its entirety, but something God revealed to me within those first few dark days was, we had lost hope. The wound had grown so much a part of our lives, we stopped asking for it to be healed. But it wasn't just our wound -- others were suffering as well; and even if we chose to live with the pain, we had an obligation to pray for others. As Christians, didn't we desire God's glory? Shouldn't we have been praying for God to be exalted and His name to be made known? But, we had lost hope. 

That is when I began to pray through the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, to "stand in the gap" for those as yet unable to do it for themselves. I asked God to bring these new admissions and behaviors to fruition in them. I prayed, asking God to prepare the places where I hope they will one day step. As I prayed, I found hope, and strength, and a renewed commitment to their recovery. As I prayed, my focus began to turn back to the God of the HIMpossible and the Hope that is ours.

Over the next few days I would like to share with you things I hope will be a resource for those affected by addiction:

Far too many lives have been touched by addiction. Addiction, in one form or another seems to exist within our nature. Some people realize their triggers early on and find ways to manage without lapsing into addictive behaviors. Some spend most of their lives struggling to get free of something that controls the way they think, the things they say, and the way they act. Over and over, the cycle repeats: the desire to be free, the fight to get free, and the concession that freedom is impossible. Engaged in that battle are the addicts themselves, and those around them. Coworkers, neighbors, sponsors, friends, spouses, children. People who may have never abused substances or wrestled with addiction in their life are now wrestling with the addiction of those close to them.

I believe there is hope. I believe that, as those looking on from a distance or living with an addict on a daily basis, we can help. We can help in a way that requires commitment and discipline (things most addicts struggle to maintain for themselves), passion and compassion (things most co-dependents, friends and family members struggle to maintain with regard to an addicted person), and prayer. One of the tenets of support organizations (such as Al Anon and Nar Anon) is to understand and navigate another's addiction by teaching family and friends to practice the 12 Steps of Recovery themselves. I believe those 12 Steps can also be prayed through.

I believe the 12 Steps and their principles are applicable to all our lives, no matter where we are in our addiction or the addiction of others. As you pray these steps, it is my hope you will find healing and your prayers will bring about healing for those in your life.

"The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." ~ James 5:16b

 Steps One through Three tomorrow.

Twenty-Six Words Tell the Rest of the Story

“Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?”

So begins the biblical account of Job's trials. Prior to this, we learn Job was rich in children and goods and reputation. He was blameless before the Lord and great before men. A real stand-up guy. But Satan challenged Job's loyalty and God's deservedness of it. "He's only loyal to You because You bless him so," he said. God handed His child's possessions, family, health, and even his relationships over to Satan. "Give it all you've got," God told the Destroyer. And he did. Job lost it all, but "in all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong." Forty-one short chapters later, we see the end result: God replies (more on that another day), Job repents (more on that in a minute), his friends are commanded to offer sacrifice for their crazy presumptions, and God blessed Job more than He had before. The book concludes with the words, "After this Job lived one hundred and forty years, and saw his children and grandchildren for four generations. So Job died, old and full of days." That's important -- those last twenty-six words. 

Contemporary Western culture has a way of fixating on things. Things are a sign of prosperity. Things equal blessing, and blessing equals things. And too much contemporary "Christianity" (which, I believe, is not Christianity at all) teaches that the cross restores us the way Job was restored -- right now, in the natural. Far too many of us read the account of Job, and our take away is the blessing. We suffer a bit; we get blessed a lot. This year has been a perfect proving ground for God's people: global pandemic, racial injustice, riots, widespread unemployment, a volatile political climate -- in addition to the problems that plague us in a normal three hundred and sixty-five day period. I have heard so many people say how they can't wait until this year is over, but God is not on our timetable. The simple turning of a page does not mean life will somehow become different better or different worse. Because we have decided time is up does not mean it is. Because we have decided we've had enough does not mean we have. We can't begin to presume what God has accomplished, will accomplish or is accomplishing through the things we've endured recently. And we can't presume to know when it will end. So what if the blessing as we would like it doesn't come? Do you think Job endured all he did thinking to himself, "Seventeen more days. Seventeen days and this will all be fixed"? No, in fact, he repented! (I believe, because he had held on to his faith in God, because he had hunkered down and plowed through. I've done that, and, when all is said and done, I've not cursed God or turned from the Lord. But, I have felt awful. It was ugly -- maybe not on the outside, but on the inside. I've never wanted to go through a trial and, at the end said, "Well, God, I still don't hate You. I didn't curse You." No! I want to say, "I LOVE YOU! You are still my everything! I praised Your name the whole way through because You are worthy!" In reality, however, I didn't quite "keep the faith." Silently I raged; alone I accused and panicked. And based on what we're told of Job in verse one of chapter one, I think Job might have been the same way. I think he was resolute, but lacked peace from time to time. I think, that in trying to defend God and defend himself and figure it all out, Job said some things that caused him regret; he took his eyes off of God's goodness and sovereignty in an effort to provide himself with some solace. And he felt awful. But, that's just my two sense.) Let's get back to the blessing thing.

I made a joke about forty-one short chapters, but compared to the "months" (?) Job suffered, it's nothing. We can read the entire Book of Job in less than a day while sitting with a cup of tea and our feet up. Job. Suffered. And, yes, he did receive blessing: things restored, relationships and family restored -- for four generations! -- and a long life. But the blessing is not the point. Enduring for a time until the blessing arrives is not the point. How do I know? Because Job died. Just like everyone else under the curse, Job died. The blessing was not the end-all to beat-all. The blessing is not the conclusion. The blessing of more stuff was not his eternity. The takeaway is, he died. He lived through a terrible ordeal, and maybe others not as terrible after that. He got blessed -- not necessarily rewarded for being a good guy or for proving God right before Satan -- but, he got blessed. And then, sometime later, he died.

God loves each of His children. God blesses them according to His plan. Some of us are held to the fire -- more than once. But when we can see that as a blessing -- as God using us to bless others, as God maturing us, as God drawing us closer, as God simply exercising His holy prerogative for purposes we may not learn in this portion of life -- it redefines blessing in our minds and in our lives. May we always live with joy and gratitude so others will know the rest of the story.

Choosing Difficulty

This is the time of year a Babe who humbly entered the world is celebrated. This is the time of year God's Goodness came to earth. This is the time of year we marvel at a faithful, obedient young virgin and struggle to imagine the shock she must have felt on hearing of God's plan for her life. This is the time of year the selections we read or the sermons we hear make mention of, but usually gloss over, all God had in store for a man who simply wanted to take a wife. Matthew 1, tells us Joseph was a man who kept the law of Moses. The Bible doesn't tell us of his romantic feelings for Mary. We're not told if he chose her, or if his family pushed the issue. Tradition says Joseph was an older man; Mary was in her early teens. I imagine Joseph, having his own business, a small cache of regular customers. I imagine him working all day, coming home late in the evening to a meal of vegetables and some barley bread, praying and heading off to bed. Stable, quiet, routine, drama free. Taking a wife should have been a time of blessing. Taking a wife should have provided him with a helper. some children, someone to keep their home. But before any of that could be -- difficulty. 

Mary was "found to be pregnant." How? I think many of us assume Mary told Joseph as soon as possible; but "found" to be pregnant doesn't quite sound like that. We know she spent some time away at her cousin, Elizabeth's. When she came back was her baby bump showing? Were tongues wagging? Imagine if Joseph had heard through the grapevine. The law said he was innocent, and she was not; he was a victim, and she the criminal. Everything he'd been taught since he was a child, said she could be stoned or, at the least, exposed as an adulteress and his name cleared. Instead, he chose to divorce her quietly. And simply for that we can admire him. Showing grace although his heart may have been broken. Taking the higher road despite having to endure all those looks of pity and being made the subject of whispers. For choosing to be righteous rather than right. But God had other plans -- difficulty.

God didn't want Joseph to simply show grace to Mary. God didn't want Joseph to simply demonstrate righteousness in his dealing with her, to be godly and move on. God's plan was for Joseph to be inextricably linked to her -- a young woman thought to be an adulteress -- and to the greatest Gift mankind would ever know. The angel messenger appeared to Joseph in a dream, reassuring him of Mary's innocence, exposing God's plan, and giving Joseph some very clear, very unconventional instructions: take Mary into your home and name her son Yeshua (Savior, Deliverer). Matthew 1:24, tells us that when Joseph awoke, he did just what God, through the angel, had told him to do. Once God gave the command, there is no record of any further struggle. God said it; Joseph did it.

Joseph searched for a suitable place in Bethlehem for he and his wife to stay. Joseph had tended to Mary when she delivered God's Son. Joseph continued to watch over them and seek protection for his family by consulting the One who could best lead them to safety. Joseph led his family in faith and the observation of God's laws. Joseph loved Jesus and cared for Him as a good father cares for his own son. Joseph demonstrated time after time, through obedience, his love for God and love for God's plans. His efforts weren't half-hearted. He followed God's direction as faithfully and explicitly as if this life was all he ever wanted. We don't see that he treated Mary with any sort of bitterness or demanded from God any sort of refund. We see quiet, steadfast obedience, despite whatever expectations he had. Despite the difficulty.

We like to think God's plans will keep us safe. We like to think God's plans will be easy. What we find is, sometimes, when we are squarely fixed dead-center of God's will, we are neither safe nor comfortable. The storms, the uncertainties, the grief, the pain may just be part of God's plan; but we can find comfort and courage in knowing that if God has allowed it, God will redeem it. None of us can comprehend all of time or all of humanity, but God can, and He has a BIG plan for all of it. He is the infinite Master of everything, and the intimate Shepherd of the least of us. He will not betray us or go back on any of His promises in any way. If He is working for our good (and He is, Rom. 8:28) and He is sovereign over all (and He is, Col. 1:16-17), we have only to choose trust -- no matter our circumstances -- and know that He is doing something glorious. His plans may not be easy, and His plans may not be safe, but His plans are always perfect. We have only to choose to believe that. What better example than the guy standing quietly in the background of every creche, faithfully, obediently, keeping watch over a King.

A Dying Wish

I recently had a birthday. Time waits for no man, right? I think we all wonder something about death: when? how? what will I be doing when it happens? My brother, a pastor, joined Jesus in Heaven a little while back. One morning, he sat down to study his sermon notes, no doubt talking to and focused on his Father in Heaven, and in the blink of an eye, found himself face to face with the very One he had only known dimly. What a glorious blessing! I imagine I'd like to be sorting clothes in our church thrift shop when the Lord says, "It's time to go." Or, studying Scripture and sharing those lessons through the printed word when He reaches for my hand! Wouldn't that be a tale to bring glory to the Lord's name? But the truth is, He may not "catch" me doing the things that bring Him glory. Why? Because I don't always obey. If I am sincere about bringing Him glory, if my dying wish is to exalt His name in all I say, think and do, obedience is the only way to get it done.

There's an old Gospel song, "When He Was on the Cross, I Was on His Mind." It's a touching sentiment, but Jesus didn't die for the exclusive purpose of saving me -- or you. 1 Timothy 2:3-4, tells us our Savior desires all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. His sacrifice was the only means by which we can be restored in relationship with the Father; His blood is the only sufficient atonement; and only He was willing and able to bear the wrath due us. So, He willing laid down His life for the salvation of men. He wants that to happen, but without His obedience to the Father, none of that would be possible. He had to go with the Father's plan. He had to submit to the Father's will. Even in Gethsemane, He prayed three times, if there would be some other way, but "not as I will, but You will." It's clear He was fighting to resist temptation. His dying wish was to bring His Father glory through obedience, but it was going to be the hardest thing He could ever do. Nevertheless, Jesus laid down His life in obedience to the Father. Jesus' life, death, and resurrection accomplished a number of things, but they were all because Jesus obeyed; it was His obedience that brought glory to the Father, fulfilling His "dying wish." 

It's a silly little thing, really, but when I was in elementary school I learned a little acronym to remind me how to have true joy in life:

J - Jesus

O - Others

Y - You

My purpose is to bring glory to the Father by putting His Son first, just as Jesus' purpose is to bring glory to the Father -- above all else. Our relationships with others follow. Our interactions with others are an excellent means of demonstrating obedience and bringing glory to the Lord, much the same way the elect, those Jesus died to save were given to Him by the Father that He might bring the Father glory through them. As Jesus hung, bleeding and dying on the cross (obedience) He brought glory to God (purpose) -- His "dying wish."

So, what is yours? Is there a bucket list of things you wish to complete? Skydiving or running with the bulls in Pamplona? Is there something you wish to leave behind for generations? A record of all your accomplishments or family heirlooms passed down for centuries? It is the things of the Lord that will remain forever. It's wonderful to dream we will be doing the things that please the Lord most when He calls us home, but each of us needs to ask, "Based on my daily habits, is it likely that will happen?" And then, we must do all we can to improve the likelihood. That, requires obedience, of course, and a no holds barred, all in, fully sold out dying wish to glorify the Lord.