What Does God Want?

"My Pig is dead. The Ford Explorer I've driven for the past fourteen years has breathed its last. At 2:40AM on March 17, 2016, the paragon of mileage and memories known as The Pig Mobile crawled her way up the exit ramp off I-95 and bled to death in a parking spot right in front of my eyes."

These were the opening lines of a post I wrote almost two years ago. I loved my truck. (Can you tell?) But, after almost 200,000 miles, her heart had stopped; her engine had blown. For most of my children's lives, she had seen road trips, an accident which was almost her undoing, miles of marketing and children's extracurriculars, and lots and lots of TLC. She was, to me, worth saving. But were we being good stewards to invest that kind of money in a fourteen year old vehicle?

Scott and I decided to pray about it. While we waited for God's answer, I drove my husband's much older pick-up. He loved "Esther" the way I loved The Pig. To him, she was an icon of his children's youth, and a throwback to an era when trucks were built like trucks -- or so he said. To me, she was great on the big roads, terrible for the "around town" stuff. Getting Mom in and out required a step stool; groceries had to be hiked into the cab (which was lifted to a point just above my waist) or stowed in the bed, which meant no more than one stop at a time, unless I wanted all of Delco to help themselves to my pork chops and 2% milk. But she was a blessing for which I tried desperately to be grateful.

In August, all of my wear and tear on the old girl caused Esther to demand a sabbatical right in the driveway of our home. So, with only one week of vacation left, I took the time off work to pray, again, for God's direction. Get Esther fixed? Repair The Pig? The two hours of vehicle shopping that Scott and I had done left me staggering from sticker shock -- surely, this wasn't being a good steward with God's money!

It was Tuesday, just days before I had to be back at work, and, if we were going to fix The Pig, "decision day."

"D'you get anything yet?" Scott asked.
"Nope," was my reply, "You?"
"Nope."
"Well," I said, "I never really believed we shouldn't spend the money on The Pig; I just wasn't sure it was the right thing to do."
"Do we have the money?" Scott asked.
"Yes," I answered.
"Well, I guess that's what we do, then."

Within minutes the work began on my truck, and I picked her up, days later, mere hours before I had to be back at work. She ran better than she had in years. New life had been breathed through my old companion! I wanted to driver her every minute I could!

Two months later, as I was rounding a curve on the road into work, a driver coming the opposite direction, lost control and took out my precious Pig in a near head-on collision. I knew at that moment, she would never rise from the ashes again. The Pig was finally gone.

So, the questions lingered: "Had God been showing us something else all along? Was repairing The Pig really what He wanted us to do? Did we rebel against His plan to get rid of The Pig?"

The short answer is this: I think the answers to all of those questions are found in Matthew 6:33.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

We sought God through prayer. We desired His will. We ached to be good stewards of the gifts He had given us. And, even in replacing The Pig once and for all, we sought Him again.

That is what God wants. Whether we purchase an old car, or a new car, or a three-legged horse, the outcome is the same when we seek to obey and serve God.

Thank You, God!

I just wanted to use today's post to say,

As I said in yesterday's post, I did the "slow thing"-- slowing down and enjoying life; experiencing the moment, and relationships; but most of all, just being aware of God throughout my day. I gotta tell you, God can get up in my busyness any day! By the time I laid my head down at the end of the day, I had more "to-dos" crossed off my list -- Great! -- but I was at peace. No lying awake, continuing to think of things I could have done, should have done. Relaxed. Being blessed, and actually feeling that way! I spent time with Mom, spent time with friends, did some chores, took care of some nastiness with the government -- quickly (Praise God!), ran an errand, and a few other things; and I spent time with Jesus. I felt Him with me all day, and spoke to Him throughout. And best of all, I did as I wished -- I recounted all He did, rather than all I had done. So, thank You, God!

When God Gets in Your Busyness

Today I am trying something new: slowing down.

More than a year ago, my daughter's family was up for a visit. My grandson was constantly moving, constantly finding something to do. My son-in-law marveled at his perpetual activity, "He's so busy." Before I could form a single word in agreement, he added, "like his Gramma." Huh?! That has stayed with me ever since.

Just this past weekend, I was giving Scott the rundown on my plans for the day; I said, "Well, I really wanted to get ___ finished so I can sit down and relax." He finished my thought, not in quite the same way I would have, "Or so you can find something else to do." Ouch!

I love to pray, I really do. I'm just not very fond of putting away distraction long enough to do it. I want my prayer life to be more; so this is why I am listening to a series called "Prayer Prescriptions" by Dr. Michael Youssef, and this is why I was praying about my prayer life this morning.  As I prayed, the Holy Spirit took me to a very strange memory.

I used to smoke. I wasn't an Olympic smoker, like some, but I could hold my own -- especially when I was drinking. Alcohol and cigarettes just seemed to be meant for one another. I could smoke more than a pack in an evening, and not even realize it. Now, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed the first couple, but the others were consumed mechanically, without thought. Somehow, the nicotine or the ritual of holding something in my hand as I socialized, had assumed preeminence; relaxation and taste were no longer of consideration.

Now, that may not resonate with you, but God had my attention. He wasn't yet finished, though.

My eating habits came to mind. An issue a few years back left me with damaged vocal cords. Our vocal cords play an important part in protecting our lungs from the things we eat and drink. My "new normal" forced me to eat slowly and carefully so I did not aspirate. As time went on, the muscles surrounding my larynx began to compensate for all my vocal cords could no longer do, and my eating and drinking almost returned completely to what it was before -- shoveling. "Get it in; get it done." Strange thing was, I had enjoyed sitting at the table reading or listening to music and savoring my food.

And then, there was my "To Do" list. Yeah, He went there. My son-in-law's words. My husband's words. God was really in my business this morning.

Because He loves me. Because He wants all of me. Because He has promised that whatever happens when I love and follow Him will work for His glory and my good. Because an effective prayer life is a developing relationship: transparency and reverence, full disclosure and attentive listening. Because by breezing through life at warp speed, always looking for something else to do, I am not only missing out on the journey, but I am filling a void with something other than God.

I want to be able to lie down each night and thank God for all He did, not for all I got done. I want to be compulsive for God -- not lists, or food, or shopping, or sports, or any other thing. And He wants me to be compulsive for Him, every slow, thoughtful minute of His day.

Doing God's Work Just Might Be God at Work in You

"I don't have a problem doing God's work; I just have a problem dealing with it." 

My husband uttered these words to me a few years back. I knew what he meant then, and I can still remember the frustration he was feeling. Working for God is not always easy. Or clean. Or simple. Or straightforward. Or without a great deal of hidden cost. Working for God can be extremely messy.

Mark 10:17-22, records the response of a rich young king who asked Jesus what steps were necessary to inherit eternal life. Foregoing a discussion of this young man's punch list approach to faith, or his arrogance, let's skip down to verse 21, and the final "requirement" that stopped him I his tracks:

"Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, 'One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.'”

The following verse reveals the sad outcome:

"But he was sad at this word, and went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions."

This man might have been young, but he wasn't born yesterday. Sell? Give? Heavenly treasure? A cross, and a preacher who was admittedly homeless (Matthew 8:20)? That didn't sound very appealing, or even very wise. Of course, this man saw eternal life as just another thing to possess, like the robes, or livestock, or jewels he already had in his possession; but even if he had truly been seeking some spiritual encounter, throwing away all he had and wandering the countryside hardly sounded like the right way to do that.

But real service, real surrender to the Lord requires giving all we have -- including our will, including our way. "The Lord's work" is by definition, what He designs, what He calls us to do.

We used to drive our ten year-old car and our twenty year-old truck to the food bank where we served. We'd call one another on our outdated flip phones to discuss our dinner plans afterward; it usually involved some discussion of the scant leftovers we had sitting in our fridge, and maybe, a store brand frozen pizza. Late afternoon would arrive, and we'd leave the food bank, stopping on the way to deliver to a few clients. At our modest little row home in a modest little neighborhood, Scott would linger in the shower, his back aching from a years-old injury; I would barely make it though dinner, exhaustion from putting in a full night's work prior to serving others all day finally catching up to me.

What a wonderful feeling to be used up in such a way! That's what service is all about! Gratifying! Fulfilling! There's almost a romanticism to it! Doing the Lord's work! What a privilege.

But there was more. Some of the clients pulled up in vehicles just a couple years old. Most busied themselves waiting for their turn by playing games on their brand new smart phones. Others complained, whining about how long it was taking to get their free food. I'd schlep boxes of groceries to their cars where their able-bodied 16 year-old sons were standing about smoking cigarettes and talking on their smartphones about the latest gaming system they spent all day worshiping. And their daughters? Uggs, Juicy Couture, need I say more? When we delivered, most clients lived in better houses in better neighborhoods than the one we were going home to; and their live-in boyfriends would make some crack about having to move out now so Girlfriend wouldn't get kicked off the free food list. "Thank yous" were rare. And when I shopped throughout the week to restock food bank shelves, the head of the program told me explicitly name brand products were preferred because "clients won't take generics."

Our definition of "hunger" and our methods of "helping" in this country notwithstanding, this is what doing the Lord's work looked like for a period in our life. Don't get me wrong, there were those desperately in need and as equally grateful; but those who obviously knew how to play the system, who traveled from one giveaway to the next and called their friends to "get over here, they've got turkeys!" -- those were the folks who really made serving messy; who really made the Lord's work hard to deal with.

After many late night discussions about the program and its obvious faults, Scott and I believed God had a great love for these people, and wanted us to love them as well. They were facing a much more nefarious type of hunger, a hunger they didn't even know they had, a hunger that Jesus fully satisfies; it had more to do with what was in their hearts than what was on their plates. It is because of this we agreed to stay until God removed us in His time -- and He did. Although working for God can be messy and unromantic, it is never without purpose, and "dealing with it" can be God's way of dealing with us. And just like the rich young ruler, God had a heavenly treasure for us if we simply laid down ourselves.