Praise God I Can't!

My husband recently had surgery. (It seems to me, of late, I've started way too many conversations with those words.) Anywho, it was one of those easy-breezy, same-day-service kind of things. However, it knocked him for a loop! No extended stay necessary, but the plans he'd made for the following day, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after --Whelp, you get it --all scrubbed. And he was feeling really disappointed in himself. After all, he's a strong guy. He shouldn't be spending his days sitting under an icepack watching Matlock reruns. He is entirely capable. Until he wasn't.

Now, I'm not throwing shade; we all need time to heal. And, as a matter of fact, I am the person with the least amount of room to talk. I will stare the lion right in the eyes and reach for his lunch. Not because I'm brave; just because I'm defiant. I will finish my list of To-Dos only to start another list and add a few things more --all before noon. I will attempt things I should never attempt. I am capable. Until I'm not.

What I've learned, however, is that in man's economy that sort of capability is honored, rewarded; but in God's economy, not so much. Not that Scripture says we should be bungling fools or intentionally ignorant or just plain lazy. But we are to be vulnerable, humble. We are to be painfully aware of who we really are. The Apostle Paul, in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, says he was given "a messenger of Satan," some sort of "thorn in his flesh" to keep pounding away at him; something he just could not overcome. He was incapable of getting rid of it. So, he pleaded with God to remove it. We don't know what it was, but God refused. What if it was a struggle with lust? What if it was gout? What if it was conflict with another of God's servants? Each of those things could potentially harm or reduce Paul's ability to minister. Why would God refuse? Because he didn't want Paul to be capable in and of himself. He wanted Paul, and all of us today, to seek His grace and rely on Him alone. It is in our lack, our inability, that the work of God can be put on display.    

As capable human beings we tend to resist trusting others; we forego vulnerability in favor of a "quick fix"; the certainties we can see, the solutions we invent, self-sufficiency. Even if we fail, at least we tried. But what if failure is something to be used by God for His glory? What if waiting and the passage of time is all part of God's plan? By His grace, we can wait for the glory of God to be revealed; we can see His might made manifest in ways we never imagined; we can experience the blessing of God even as we slog through seemingly impossible seasons. Our capabilities have the potential to rob us of knowing that blessing. And it is sometimes God's mercy when our methods fail, when our means cause us to stumble; for it is then we tend to regroup and turn our thoughts toward the One mightier than ourselves, mightier than our enemy. But when we succeed in our own efforts we succeed without knowing what God could have done with the situation; we succeed and become further convinced of our own capability; we succeed and convince ourselves we are well within God's favor. 

Like Paul, who gave thanks for the weakness in him that framed gloriously the strength of God, we, too, can Let go and let God. We, too, can stop looking to our own plans, our own qualifications, our own resources, that the manifest power of the One we serve might be given its due position. That many might see His handiwork. Praise God when we fall flat on our faces! Praise God when we fail in going our own way! Praise God when the season is long and the ground is dry! Praise God for the discipline of a perfect Father, one who wants to show us all He can do with the nothing we have. Praise God when He brings us to the knowledge we are incapable. That through our weakness, the Almighty is seen.