Here's a Crazy Idea

Years ago, a crazy family therapist told me that my children should be answering me with Yes, Ma'am and No, Ma'am. That's not why he was crazy, by the way, he suggested some pretty unusual things if I remember correctly; but at the time using that sort of formality or discipline struck me as a bit much. These are my children! Flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood. I don't recall him offering an explanation either, but perhaps he saw something in my children or in my parenting I did not see. Perhaps he saw a lack of respect. Today I ruminate upon this suggestion I once considered outrageous because it has remained with me for something like thirty years. Of all the things he must have said to me in those sessions, the thing that stuck with me was teaching --not forcing, not demanding, but teaching my children to answer me with Yes, Ma'am and No, Ma'am. And I'm not sure that was a crazy idea at all.

Right now, today, I am in two very separate situations --or, at least, I thought they were separate until just a few minutes ago. I am bearing witness to a ministry that is struggling to grow. Numbers go up. Numbers go down. Numbers aren't proof of maturity, however, and growth is not the same as strength. It is always the same few people taking part, leading the charge, reaching for something better, longing for fruit. No one else appears motivated to do anything. 

In the other situation, an individual with whom I am acquainted is rather incensed at the hard lessons he is learning right now. His means of privilege have been cut off. He is receiving only what he needs and nothing more. He is expected to treat his resources with respect and in so doing, demonstrate he is grateful for them. Elsewise, he will receive only what the powers that be determine and nothing more.

In both cases, individuals were welcomed into their current situations --adopted, if you will --with open arms, made to feel "special" and "included." In both cases, the recipients were taught by well-meaning benefactors that the sun rises and sets on them, that it is all about them, that Jesus loves them and they are now free to live their best life ever --providing, of course, they submit their lives to Him. The problem stems from the fact that those around them, their well-meaning benefactors were not teaching them what it means to submit their lives, to surrender their calendars and their finances, to give up the holding out of their hands in anticipation of blessing and die to the things they want and, even, the things think they need. The words may have been spoken, the example may have been set, but nothing was required of the recipients. Except to receive. No one was teaching them how to suffer well. No one was willing to get out of God's way, require these seekers to do the hard task of gratitude, and demand anything of them but to accept that they were accepted. 

The Hebrew Scriptures are chock-full of records describing how God blessed those who blessed Him and cursed those who cursed Him. He didn't go around handing out free hot dogs or unlimited days off to draw people to Himself. And, contrary to current belief, neither did Jesus. Even He went away when it became evident people were seeking His hand rather than the face of Father God. Freebies are great, and we're told to be generous givers but God taught His people law first. He taught them who He was (is), what He is due, how He is to be worshiped, how He is to be approached. The Law came before grace SO THAT they were already aware of their condition, they could see God as sovereign and receive His grace with awe. They were open vessels, purged of their self-centered mindset.

God is not "bruh" or "my homeboy in heaven." He is not to be tested, trifled with, or mocked. He is sovereign over all we receive and is worthy of our utmost gratitude. He demands us to be holy through Christ Jesus, yes, but also by the surrendering of our hearts daily. Respect, obedience, humility, gratitude are important mandatory tools in our Christian walk toolbox. And if those things are not part of discipleship --be it in our homes, our churches, our community relationships, our marriages --if we're trying to win hearts with freebies and privileges, if we are adopting anyone and everyone without testing their hearts, we are putting the cart before the horse. Worse than that, we are leaving ourselves and those we are trying to help open to deception and failure. We're called to make disciples, to speak the truth in love for the purpose of strengthening the body, not meeting our numbers or giving ourselves flowers.

Adoption is never without obligation. The adopted child must submit to obeying the parents. The adopted Christian must worship God in a manner that requires dying to self. Yes, Ma'am, there are benefits! Yes, Sir, God is good!