Are you disappointed in Jesus? Don't worry, I can't hear your answer. Then again, Jesus can; but the truth is, He already knows. Has Jesus not been the Savior you wanted, the One who rescues you from your terrible marriage or your terrible job? Has Jesus failed to heal you or hear you? Is Jesus the slow kind of Deliverer, the kind you wouldn't tip well if he showed up with your take-out three hours later? Has Jesus not lived up to your expectations? C'mon, you gotta be honest with this. Listen to your self-talk. Examine your reaction in tough situations. What is your prayer life like? If you're fussing and cussing, complaining and comparing, pouting rather than praying, you might be showing signs of disappointment.
2 Corinthians 13:5 instructs us, Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified. Wow! Disqualified. The Amplified Bible says, unless indeed you fail the test and are rejected as counterfeit. A counterfeit Christian. If we examined ourselves, if we looked at our schedules, our search histories, our biggest dreams, our passions, would they reflect a matchless love for the Savior? If we placed ourselves in the fires of street evangelism (or just speaking to our neighbor about Jesus), if we experienced the vulnerability of forgiving our attacker, if we fasted for an entire day, if we signed up to teach summer VBS, if we rented that extra room at a ridiculously low rate to a single dad, if we tested ourselves, would we pass? Would we be found to be the "real deal," genuine, authentic, Grade A prime Christ follower? Or would we be tossed in the scrap heap, only good for dog food?
This time of year is great for sitting on the deck, reading, writing. I am a terrific Christian then! I've got this eternal life licked! Unless, of course, someone steps out into my little slice of Eden and wants to know what's for dinner. Frustration morphs my face into something prune-like and, as I allow it to linger, I realize this is all Jesus' fault. He could have made me wealthy with servants to take care of petty things like feeding my family. But He didn't. He could have given me a husband who loves to cook. But He didn't. I've been so good! I've spent more than a decade writing about You. I've helped others and rescued dogs and picked up trash. I've lived modestly. (I won't dare say the three words all this translates into, but they start with You, end with me, and have an owe in the middle.) And I am disappointed. Jesus has just not held up His end of the bargain. That is, if I am content with being dog food.
Examine yourself. Test yourself. Jesus is in you. The Jesus who has fearfully, wonderfully made each of us, who is before all things and holds all things together, who died that we might have life abundantly, who works all things to the good of those He has called, who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask or think, who has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness. Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world! Am I really sour because I don't want to cook dinner? Number one, who do I think I am? And number two, does the stuff to which my flesh is drawn come remotely close to what Jesus has already given me? Not only is it the height of pride and dishonor, but it's just dumb. If I hold on, if I wait for all Jesus has for me, I will be found to be the "real deal." He wants to make me good for something more than kibble. He wants to make me salt and light in a lost world, to sanctify me and make me truly righteous and holy, like Him! He is not slow, He is not poor, He is not weak. In Him is nothing to be disappointed about. The transformation He has begun, He is faithful and able to complete. When we commit to following His commands and accepting His will, we grow: our eyesight improves, our palates are perfected, we become more knowledgeable in the ways our Deliverer works, and we can pass the test. He does not disappoint!
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