COMING ATTRACTIONS:

Have you ever felt like a magnet for every mess that comes down the pike?

Sometimes I think my life looks like this.

I don't ask for this.  I go to work thinking about driving home, just like every other schlep out there.  I want to do what I have to do, and go about my life.  I'm not looking for the best parking space, but I'd like to get to one before my shift starts in twenty minutes.   

I go to the grocery store.  I want to get what I have to get, and get out.  I don't have to be first, I'd just like the store to stock the item that went on sale this morning!

I am a Christian.  I want to worship; I want to serve.  I don't want to scale walls and draw blood for permission to be a part of your "Christian group."  My membership, my permission was purchased at the cross.  (Obviously there's a lot more going on here, but that's for another day.)

I am a mom, with a cell phone, and a vehicle.  This means I am a fat, juicy worm for melodrama, meltdowns, plights, and quandaries.

What I am beginning to realize, however, is that being a magnet for messes also makes my life look like this...

I become a magnet for people.

People I would never consciously choose, come in to my life for more than just a momentary glance.  Honestly, some I'd like to keep around; some I am pleased to see go.  But, I have an opportunity to make a difference, to serve, and to bless.

And, those people are watching.  Whether they are standing behind me when the store clerk rudely tosses me my change, or whether they bear witness daily to the way I live.  I can walk the walk, or they can see that I'm all talk.

So, the next time your good intentions bite you squarely and quite viciously in the bum, or the guy from Accounting slams into you and your fresh cup of coffee as you exit the elevator, or every person you know, in the midst of a divorce feels as if they "can only talk to you" (including your sister and her soon-to-be ex-husband), or the hotel has lost the reservation you so prudently made months in advance, or whatever mess comes your way...

...that mess comes with the opportunity to push it away, or to draw people closer and love them all the more. 

Straight On to Integrity!

Just days before my birthday last year I met Pat Williams, current SVP of the Orlando Magic, author, and motivational speaker.  I know it was right before my birthday because, in an effort to give away a copy of his newest devotional, Mr. Williams asked for anyone celebrating a birthday on that day.  No one.  I sat, holding my breath, hoping he make it to "anyone celebrating a birthday ten days from now," before he got discouraged and changed the criteria to "anyone who has recently adopted a turtle," or something like that.  I wanted that copy, A) because it is a book and I am a bibliophile, B) because I found Mr. Williams' prior discourse to be interesting and helpful, C) because the book was handsomely covered, and D) because I was hoping for an autograph.  True confessions over.  I got the book.

The Leadership Excellence Devotional, is established upon seven important principles of leadership.  Through anecdotes and biblical wisdom, Williams meditates on a select principle each day over the course of several weeks.  For instance, today's thought was "Character."  Specifically, "Integrity." 

If you haven't gone running back to Farmville or toggled to "Reality TV GIFS," and are still hanging with me, it is that word, "integrity" that has brought me to this place in time.  Typical definitions of integrity embody honesty, moral principles and ethics, moral uprightness, and code of conduct.  One definition says integrity is "the state of being whole or undivided."  Spencer Johnson, as quoted in Williams' book, says, "Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people."

Integrity has become my buzzword the last few months.  One of my children is recently incarcerated, the result of being less than honest with others, and viciously scornful of what he knows to be true.  Another is in the service, surrounded by lessons of character and conduct.  Two others have decided it is easier to accede to others' expectations, living a life of  little or no personal accountability, rather than respecting themselves and facing what is real.  Another has demonstrated wisdom and character beyond her years.  I long for my children to live lives of integrity -- wholeness and brutally honest self-awareness that manifests itself in their authentic communications and interactions with others.  I pray for my children to be struck with a desire to search their hearts regularly, examine their motives and goals, follow a path of truth and courage.  I have discovered the value of integrity -- the hard way.  I have learned -- the hard way -- what happens to those who try to please others, rather than seek the Truth.  But our children listen to our examples, not our lectures. 

Therefore, we too, must follow the path we wish for them.  Our society offers so little in the way of example -- the society in which they are forced to mature, earn a living, marry, raise children, love others.  I pray they will come to be leaders of integrity in this world, for there is no future in following or being of this world.

"Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out." ~ Proverbs 10:9

A CASE FOR HATE

I played sports in school.  My coach would yell things like, "My grandmother can run faster!" and "C'mon Ladies, You're slow as molasses!!"  Speed shaming.  I hated it.

My daughter's in the Army.  Her DS yelled things that aren't at all fit for print, and made my high school coach look like Mother Goose.  Loser shaming.  Disgusting.

And now there's Maria Kang.  A mom who was thrust into the limelight a month or so ago for making less-then-fit women feel lazy.  She's baaack...

I watched the News the other night.  I heard the report of how she bashed curvy women and said that women who are even the slightest bit overweight shouldn't be at all proud of themselves.  This was the News.  Not ET, or TMZ or any of those other ridiculous acronyms that churn out fodder to incite the masses.  This was the News.  I turned to Scott and said, "I supported her before, but why doesn't she just focus on encouraging others instead of bashing them?  Talk about how great you feel instead of how disgusting you think we all are."  If you build it they will come.

Well, here it is.  Maria Kang's original Facebook post:

"While I think it's important to love and accept your body, I was a little peeved because while I feel like it's ok to love and accept your body, I think we're normalizing obesity in our society.

"We need to change this strange mentality we are breeding in the U.S. and start celebrating people who are a result of hard work, dedication and discipline. I’m not bashing those who are proud and overweight, I am empowering those who are proud and healthy to come out and be the real role models in our society."

Do you hear the hate speech? "a little peeved..."  Can you see how bigoted she is? "I feel like it's ok to love and accept your body..."  And then, there were those words -- "normalizing obesity in our society."  Who does she think she is???  "Celebrating people who are a result of hard work, dedication and discipline?"  Is she nuts?  You mean, instead of loathing them?  Instead of allowing our envy to metastasize onto full-blown bitterness and derision?  Instead of holding ourselves to a higher standard and giving our children real heroes to emulate?  This woman is from Mars!!!

Sarcasm aside, not only did even the Nightly News perpetuate this witch hunt, not only did Maria Kang speak with encouragement and truth, not only were her comments a challenge to "out" complacency, lower standards, jealousy and success shaming, not only did my daughter and I (and countless other kids, teens, and adults with loving coaches, teachers, therapists and mentors) learn lots about pushing ourselves and finding strength to meet our goals, but I will be reposting Ms. Kang's comment on my Facebook as a challenge to myself and those I love to provoke and confront ourselves in ways we never dreamed, to be kind to ourselves, and to be healthy examples for our children.

Black & White Friday

FACT ONE: Yesterday (by a scarce 8 hours or so) most Americans sat around tables brimming with food fit for kings of old, and gave thanks. To whom (or to Whom) and for what depended largely on the folks gathered there.  Many bore in mind "those who are not as blessed."

FACT TWO: Many of those same folks are today, trampling others, cutting others off in traffic, depressing their horns and extending their middle fingers as they see their coveted parking spot ripped from them, in this exercise of greed known as Black Friday.

FACT THREE: (Ask my daughter) "Momma doesn't leave the house on Black Friday."

I do this not out of protest, or superiority, or even some secret knowledge of Cyber Monday years before it was ever labeled such.  I do it because I am as short-tempered, intolerant and greedy as the next Momma.  Some alcoholics lick their lips at the sight of a bar; some angry folks grind their teeth and tighten their hands around a purely clairvoyant steering wheel at the sight of a Black Friday ad.

The irony and hypocrisy between Fact One and Fact Two are best left for another day.  The blessing I have experienced serving, and being served by some of "those who are not as blessed," and the truth that blessings are directly proportional to the altitude of your attitude, are best left for many days to come.  But my weakness?  That is right here and right now, in black & white.

  "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10