Oh, Brother!

The shh-tic-tic of Bishop's paws on the hardwoods next to our bed.  The short trek to the back door, only to find it's raining big, floppy, cold drops; there's no way he's going out in that.  Burrowing back into bed between sheets that have by this time begun to grow cold. 

All of it enough to flip the throttle of my slightly warped, always active mind, over to "FULL."  Or, as one of my favorite childhood heroes used to say, "My Spidey-senses are tingling."  Despite having gone to sleep only four short hours ago.  The reason for this sudden insomnia?  Less than twelve hours ago, we were preparing to leave my "nephew's" wedding -- a nephew I never knew until my father's death in 2009.  This is where my story begins.

My father had been married before he and my mother were married.  A simple, so-what sort of explanation far too common in this day and age.  Given the circumstances, the "players" involved, and the convoluted stuff cheesy stories are made of, yeah, it kinda was a big deal, but I share it with others, so I won't lay it all out there, so to speak. 

I don't remember ever not knowing I had other siblings.  As a child, I would wonder what my "big brothers" were like; there were two.  Particularly, when my little brother -- the one I shared both parents with -- was getting on my nerves, I would imagine trading him in for a brother I could really look up to; figuratively and literally, I guess. 

When my father passed a couple of years ago, I finally met my younger older brother.  Looking into his eyes was for me, like looking into the eyes of my father -- something I'd never been able to do.  Talking with him was reminiscent of some of the theological discussions my father and I would have when I was a teenager -- sometimes because of his great knowledge of Scripture, sometimes because the uncomfortable silence would gnaw at me and it was my "go-to" for finding some common ground between us.  But this?  This was different.  This was another piece of a puzzle, gently locking into place; this was a different kind of brother than the one of whom I had dreamed.

Two years later, less than a day ago, right smack in the middle of a mad dash to the parking lot to grab gum from the truck, so I could meet some folks without actually breathing coffee into their faces, and...

Number One Brother steps from between two chairs and introduces himself.  Wow!  (BTW, I'd considered calling him older older brother, but wisely I think, abandoned that point of reference.)  So how does it feel?  Still processing that one, but here's what I've got so far...

Superficially, I am amazed at the similarities in mannerisms and facial expressions; things heredity doesn't seem to explain.

Profoundly, I have been blessed with two great brothers and their families.  Half-brothers as a result of biology, but they are brothers in Christ -- a facet I consider to be of far more significance.  If shared genes, or curiosity, or common invitations never draw us to relationship again, I hope a mutual love of Our Lord and Savior will.

The Way

This road I am on is not my own.  While it has been given me to travel, one day I will be forced to reckon with what I have or have not done while moving toward its end.  My reward will not come because I have travelled many miles or few.  My prize will not be given because the road has been exceptionally difficult or blessedly smooth.  This road is a gift, a gift which I must pass on to those I meet along the way; a gift I am called to share with those who do not yet know The Way.  When I reach the end of this road I will stand alone before the One has given me this gift, My Heavenly Father.  He will ask, "Who have you invited to follow you?"

"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no man comes unto the Father except through me." ~ Jesus Christ 

A Reason to Hope

Romans 5:1 (NIV)
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."

From Spurgeon~~

BEING justified by faith, we have peace with God. Conscience accuses no longer. Judgment now decides for the sinner instead of against him.

If God be just, I, a sinner, alone and without a substitute, must be punished; but Jesus stands in my stead and is punished for me; and now, if God be just, I, a sinner, standing in Christ, can never be punished. God must change His nature before one soul, for whom Jesus was a substitute, can ever by any possibility suffer the lash of the law. Therefore, Jesus having taken the place of the believer—having rendered a full equivalent to divine wrath for all that His people ought to have suffered as the result of sin, the believer can shout with glorious triumph, "Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect?" Not God, for He hath justified; not Christ, for He hath died, "yea rather hath risen again." My hope lives not because I am not a sinner, but because I am a sinner for whom Christ died; my trust is not that I am holy, but that being unholy, He is my righteousness. My faith rests not upon what I am, or shall be, or feel, or know, but in what Christ is, in what He has done, and in what He is now doing for me.

You Think You've Got Problems...

Before I share this, I want everyone to understand whatever good you see in me is of God.  I am nothing without Him.  Having said that, I want to encourage everyone that God can do the most amazing things, including touch your heart to serve others though your heart may have hurt of its own.

A few weeks ago, one of my drivers was completing his last few hours of work before heading off to vacation.  He'd planned this fabulous trip to Myrtle Beach or one of those other glorious golf destinations.  You could see the excitement in his face.  In fact, his excitement made me excited. 

Except for one thing, he'd hurt his knee.  Which explains the true reason for our conversation in the first place.  Anyone knows, if you've got two weeks of vacation coming your way, you don't stand around talking about it!  So, he had to report this injury, but in so doing, he began to really whine about the possibility of it affecting his game.  He was really upset!  So upset, I began to be upset for him!  How awful to be so excited about something, to be so close to realizing it, and -- SLAM!  Just like that, you're sidelined.

A few more minutes of his creased brow, awkward pacing and worried tone, when suddenly he says, "Why am I doing this?  I know you've got problems.  You don't want to listen to me.  Your problems are much worse, I know."

And he does know.  He has almost firsthand knowledge of some of the things Scott and I experience.  But at that time, those things had never crossed my mind.  I hadn't even thought of thinking of my problems!  If I'd taken the time to compile some ridiculous report on "who has it worse," chances are, Scott and I would have trumped his scaled-back vacation with little effort.  At that time, my focus was on someone facing disappointment.

This brings me back to what I said at the start.  Whatever good you see in me is of God.  I don't want to ruin my life or the lives of others with pettiness, jealousy, bitterness, or unforgiveness.  I want to enjoy the life God has given me and live the life God has given me.  To face each day and each circumstance with a smile, to be there for those who wish to share their victories and defeats, to show others what God has done for me, to testify to God's mercy and grace.

God was alive and working in me that day.  God answered my prayer for change and fullness in my life.  He will do the same for you.