Just a Closer Walk with Thee

I couldn't have asked for a better vacation.  The weather was perfect -- low humidity, cool evenings and mornings, warm, bright afternoons.  People ask me what my plans are, or where I'm going; I'm not ashamed to say, "I'm staying home and doing nothing."  Scott has created such a beautiful home for us -- inside and out.  And rarely does my vacation wind up being "nothing;" we always find some new project, and usually run out of time to do everything we'd like -- even if it is just to stay up past 8PM!

On one of my early morning walks with the dogs I experienced one of those "happy-to-be-alive" moments.  The air was clean and cool, the grass -- freshly mowed, was thick and damp and fragrant, and the sun was like life and healing on my face.  God's blessings saturated my soul and everything around me.  I began to pray as I walked.  Before I realized it, I was almost home.  It seemed like only minutes before I was leaving our house, legs aching, determined I was only going half the way today.  As I thanked God for "being my legs" and carrying me the full course, I remembered Isaiah 40:31 --

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

As surely as God had placed one foot in front of the other throughout our walk, as confidently and effortlessly as I took one step after the other, is the way in which He carries us through our good days and bad.  I never questioned whether the ground under my feet would be there; I never worried my legs would not support me; it's one of life's certainties.  As I walked I had this picture of my journey through life.  Of a relationship with Jesus so close, so assured, so trusting that I never consider being left unsupported, or with no sure place to put my feet.  I pictured taking each day, each step, each breath with Jesus, just as confidently and effortlessly as I took my steps through the wet grass.  I know Jesus pictures that too -- if only I am willing to keep my heart and mind staid on Him.

Our Heavenly Ally

2 Chronicles 16:1-9

King Asa of Judah, originally a God-fearing king, had gotten comfortable (I believe).  He was in his thirty-fifth year of reign, or so, and he had a problem with Baasha, King of Israel.  Rather than turn to God, Asa makes a pact with King Ben-hadad of Syria -- an enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend kind of thing.  Asa, with Ben-hadad's help defeats Baasha. 

The Bible doesn't tell us that Asa had begun some sort of personal struggle with God; nor does it say Asa had fallen to temptation or suffered some sort of setback.  One day Asa was King of Israel, seeking God's guidance for his reign and his people -- next day, he'd handled things exactly as we see them handled in the world today.  Conspiracies.  Backroom deals.  Back scratching amongst politicians or co-workers.  I think Asa got comfortable operating within the parameters of earthly kings.  The same way we get comfortable operating inside the myopia of reason, and "do-it-yourself-ism." 

Someone takes advantage of you?  Sure, you may not pay them back (that would be "un-Christian") but you certainly can't let them do it again -- "They'll think they can do it all the time!" 

"God helps those who help themselves!"  Right? 

"If you want something done you've gotta do it yourself!"

When my second marriage ended, I returned to my "Forever Friend," Jesus.  I gave it all to Him (and found too, that's not a one-time thing -- I surrender over and over.  I have to!).  Even as my pantry was emptying and my mortgage could not be paid, I trusted Jesus would provide.  Only because Family Courts (in PA? Delco? I'm not sure) forces single mothers to take fathers to support court as a way to avoid children on welfare and deadbeat parents, did I file for support.  I prayed and prayed for God's will to be done in earthly circumstances.  After the initial meeting with a "support counselor" appointed by the courts, all court dates regarding the issue, were my ex-husband's appeals.  The entire time I kept praying for Jesus' provision and plan.  The entire time, my ex-husband kept appealing.  The entire time, the monthly support figure kept going up!  At some point, he actually came to me and begged me to stop this!  I had to remind him that he was the one who was keeping this alive; he was actually doing it to himself!  I told him the only thing I could -- I was praying for him.  My ex-husband was relying on the courts, making his deal with an earthly "king;" I had committed myself to a Heavenly Advocate.

Since then, I too have gotten comfortable in this world from time to time.  I see an issue and labor furiously to "fix" it.  I plot and scheme, and twitch with anticipation, dying to get my hands on whatever it is so I can make it right.  I often need to remind myself: 

The best solution is prayer, the best partner is Jesus, and the best plan is His!

A Heavenly Walk

This morning Tinkerbell discovered a cat and kittens hiding out under one of Scott's trucks.  Tinkerbell loves small animals, but not in the same way I love dark chocolate.  Actually, very much the way I love dark chocolate, now that I think about it -- because I would eat as much dark chocolate as I could before physically becoming ill.  Get the picture? -- these cats were not in a very good place.  And Belle, by nature, is relentless.  Scott was handling the situation when I got home from work -- "handling" as in one cat in a tree, one cat who-knows-where, Tinkerbell pacing and whining like her tail was on fire, and Scott doing everything he could to get her to stop stalking cats, including some pacing and mumbling himself.

I stuck my head out the door and called out, "Tinkerbell, you goin' for a walk?"

Like a flash, Tinkerbell was in the house and headed for her leash.  She's relentless -- that is, until something she desires more comes along.

I've heard pastors say that there would be no tears in heaven (Revelation 7:16-17).  Scripture also points to the fact that those in heaven are aware of activity here on earth (the martyrs, rejoicing in heaven when a sinner repents just to name a few).  I wonder how a mother in heaven could not mourn a son who rejects Jesus and condemns himself, and maybe her grandchildren as well to eternal damnation.  How does a young father, taken so unexpectedly, not cry for the grief and fear of the family he has left behind?

Just a couple of thoughts:

1)  I don't believe going to heaven makes you heartless -- or forgetful.  How else would those in heaven celebrate the repentance of those on earth?  I believe you have to look at the big picture.  Heaven is a marvelous, glorious place, not a place of sorrow and worry like this earth.  Mourning for those lost is not the standard, not is it a full-time occupation.

2)  I also don't think those in heaven "mourn" or cry the same way we do on earth.  We lose sight of Jesus.  We are pressed by Satan; we succomb to temptation, hopelessness and self-pity.  We are human -- imperfect.  Those in heaven know perfection; they are surrounded by it.  There is a time to cry, a time to kill, a time to be silent.  Heaven and those in it operate within that time table.  It is a "righteous" mourning, if you will.

3)  Here, our love for God is not what it should be.  We are sidetracked.  We are busy.  We are angry.  Heaven is pure love, all the time; we will have all of eternity to worship Jesus!  We can sing and dance and act completely ridiculous without exhaustion.  And when that time comes, just like Tinkerbell, pre-occupied by that cat in her yard, we will forsake even the noblest of pursuits, even the most cherished of past-times, even those we love, to walk with God who calls us.  Our love for Him will overwhelm us -- moreso than our love for our own children and spouses (who are God's to do with as He chooses anyway) -- that grief will give way to complete trust and adoration of the Almighty, concern for those we love today will give way to falling into the arms of Jesus and embracing His will.

Summer Vacation... Day Two

So, last night went to a relaxing, romantic dinner with my husband at one of our favorite restaurants.  It's cozy, casual, and the food is always delicious -- from their regular fare to their fabulous chef's specials.  We've never made the mistake of taking our children there -- even for lunch -- and thereby "breaking the code of silence."  To make things even more wonderful, last night's dinner was discounted by about 50%!  (We'd won the gift card as part of a silent auction.)  Perfect, right?  Now on to this morning.

So the dogs get me up at about half past insane.  Yesterday they'd been kind enough to let me sleep until reasonable o' clock, so I guess I owed them this one.  After we did our backyard bathroom break, with me standing there half-dressed in the darkness, trying to keep my voice down as I beg Belle to come back from the nether regions, I tried to go back to bed.  Oh, the dogs were fine; they settled down snugly against one another.  I started thinking about our DVD collection, and how we really should start thinning it out. 

Really?

Yep, these are the sorts of things that keep me up nights -- or mornings.  Very early mornings.

So, after tossing and turning for twenty minutes or so (Alleged experts say you should never toss and turn in your bed longer than 15-20 minutes if you ever want to be able to sleep again, or something.) I decided to get up and make the coffee, and while it was brewing, to maybe check out the DVDs.  Now I'm not saying I was forsaking sleep on my vacation for the sole purpose of reducing our DVD collection (that would be sick) but I figured, as long as I was up...

So after selecting two DVDs, setting aside about six others for the girls to review, and vowing to watch about eight more -- "just to see if they were as good as I remember" -- I moved on to CDs.  (This is truly riveting journalism; is it not?)  I fared much better on the CDs -- at least ten!  maybe eleven!  Although, somebody's bound to snag one or two before they actually make it to Goodwill, and on my next impulsive culling?  There it will be.

Feeling almost no sense of accomplishment left me to wonder how I will spend the rest of my day.  I should be working on my book, but I seem to be no better at doing what should than I am doing what I'm told.  So I came up with some ideas:

- Planking in one of  the fountains at the mall.  Until I remebered they no longer have fountains at our mall.  (What do children now do with their parents loose change?)

- Investigate the loose change thing.

- Text all my friends about the flash mob I have planned in thirty minutes.  Better not.  I have that "other carrier" that leaves you looking completely ridiculous...alone...in your skivvies...at the zoo.

- Crash a graduation party in my neighborhood.  This probably won't work either -- I live in the worst performing school district in Pennsylvania; I'm really not sure if they had any graduates this year.  Maybe the school police are having something.  You know, draping the metal detectors with crepe paper, playing Jail-Jail (with a real jail!), popping popcorn with confiscated cell phones.

- Check out all the viral videos I have missed while having a life.  You really can't get enough of laughing babies or pat-a-cake cats.

- Wake Christine and tell her I want oatmeal and toast.  Turn about is fair play, after all.

Or maybe, in one last great demonstration of avoidance, I'll check out the headlines; they're always fun.  Like this one:

"Natalie Portman has a baby boy to go along with her Oscar."  Oh, it's gonna be a good day...