Are We Passing Muster?

I am at a loss here, today. Not because I have no ideas but, as usual, have too many ideas. I could tell you about the four pounds of London broil missing from my kitchen counter after Bishop's first foray into "guarding the fort" while we all ran quickly to the grocery store. I could tell you how angry I am about some of the nonsense in political media these last few days. I could even tell you about the ridiculous discussion going on upstairs right now, regarding the girls switching rooms. But none of those things seem to suit.

When I began this blog, I prayed for God's leading. Almost every (and I wish I could say "Every") time I sit to write, I pray for His direction; I pray that my words are His words. I even have a word of counsel taped to my computer monitor, advising me to bring every issue before the Lord; examine every relationship, business decision, even each purchase, in light of God's directions and precepts. I'm not big on Post-Its or clutter, pictures or cutesy little slips of Chinese fortune plastering otherwise vast expanses of nothingness on the faces of my equipment or appliances. So, for me to post this caveat was big; it "spoke" to me. And yet, I still forget who this is about.

It's most certainly not about me. But neither is it about my family, or our dogs, or crazy experiences at the checkout, or even the Right or the Left. It is about the Author and Finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). It is about the Alpha and the Omega (Revelation 22:13). It is about the One Who has us engraved in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16) and has a plan for each of us (Jeremiah 29:11) if we are only willing to seek His face and listen to His direction. It is about the Trinity: the One True God, His precious Son, Jesus, and the Spirit of God, sent to counsel, guide and help us until Christ's return.

So, I will save these ideas bobbing around in my head, for another day. But for right now, leave us with the question, "Who is it about in my life?" Who do we seek to please? Who's standards do we seek to meet? Start with me today and make it about Him.

More To Love

It's been a very busy week.

Scott and I spent the entire weekend, sans children, working on our ceiling and attempting to get our living room in order. Despite our stagnant finances, we decided to bite the bullet and spring for some of the amenities required to complete the room in which the family spends the most time. Collectively, we spent almost fifty percent of our time at home improvement stores; we looked, decided, undecided, decided again, then waited. At one Home Depot we waited so long for service in one department, they gave us 10% off our entire bill! At another store, the associate seemed so glad to see someone on a Saturday night, he chatted on about the Phillies and gave us updates on the score as we browsed. Another associate gave us a lesson on "how not to operate a fork lift," and Scott followed up with a lesson on"how to chose the best wood for your project."

In the process of embellishing our living space, we enlarged our family -- by one more pit bull. For those who are counting, that's two adults, five children (four at home) and two canines. I realize there are plenty of folks who might meet that body count and raise it by three or four more, but I still cannot grasp the logic behind it. This was more of an emotional decision, I guess -- a beautiful, gentle dog that needed a home or otherwise would be forced into some very undesirable conditions. Rationale and reason took a back seat. It's been chaotic ever since, and the younger three children aren't even here yet! So, I had to post a picture...

Big Shoes to Fill

My brother sent me a video clip of Penn Jillette, a multi-talented comedian, illusionist and columnist. He is an outspoken atheist but, as indicated in this video clip, has no respect for theists who do not proselytize. As I watched the video, apparently filmed for a podcast known as "Penn Says," I gained respect for a man whose lifestyle I deplore. His beliefs are founded on the insidious lies and deceptions of "The Father of Lies," and yet he challenges me to be a better Christian; he challenges me to "walk the talk", "put my money where my mouth is." He is an intellegent and articulate man, and no doubt, in a battle of wits would give me a thorough thrashing and take me out back for burial. I don't doubt that he would find me irrational, emotional, and completely unprepared for apologetic debate -- sadly most Christians are. But Mr. Jillette not only inspires me to become better prepared for rational. intelligent conversation about Jesus Christ, but he assures me of the existence of a most powerful, omnipotent God, with love and a plan for each of us.

When asked to defend my belief in the One True God, I usually stammer and mumble something about the Bible being the infallible Word of God, about the "wholeness" of the Gospel, and about my personal experience. Truth is, I am intimidated by "militant leftists," demanding facts and answers for everything. Truth is, I am human and have struggled to believe with my heart things I know to be true in my head. Truth is, and I'm sure this is true of far too many Christians, I do not know my Bible the way I should. Truth is, being a Christian is a personal, emotional, sometimes irrational experience.

I am remiss in my skills, my Bible tools are rusty, but I make no apologies for being driven by feelings and experiences. What parent is not? We love these slimy, wailing little creatures that come into our lives like parasites, drawing from us our time, our income, even our identities. What successful mogul detests the very pursuit he lives and breathes in order to gain such success? Who wants to be handed a spreadsheet outlining the reasons "she said 'yes',"? Being a Christian, for me, has more to do with what I have seen, what I have heard, and what I know to be true from personal experience. There is not a chapter or verse within the Bible that I dispute; there are, and I'm being honest, entire passages that do not "speak" to me. I read them and ask, "Why are they there?" Or I wonder, "What does that mean?" Sometimes, like with any good book, I am anxious the "get to the good parts." Nevertheless, I do not doubt any of it is "God-breathed" (2 Tim. 3:16 NIV), and "is the power of God for the salvation of everyone."(Rom. 1:16 NIV) I attend church regularly, I read my Bible (never as faithfully as I would aspire) and pray (again, not as faithfully as I would like) but it is the things that I see when I look around that tell me God is there, He exists.

Following a Saviour or devoting your life to a belief is not and should not be some one-dimensional, algorithmic exercise designed to explain away every doubt or apparent contradiction. I don't have all the facts, I don't have all the answers or explanations, for that matter, but I know they are there waiting for me, if not in this life then in the next.

And, thank God for Penn Jillette! I have been challenged to find and share as much as I am meant to know so that I too, can proselytize in love, with feeling, as effectively as possible.

"There, But For The Grace of God, Go I"

As my stomach churned, I read the words over, even clicked on the little arrow to watch the two-minute video clip again. I searched for some explanation, some reassurance that a mistake had been made.

On July 26, a 36-year old mother said "goodbye" to her husband and left a family camping trip with her two children and three nieces. By the husband's account, everything seemed fine when she left. Her brother later said that some time early afternoon, she called to say she was not feeling well; he said he asked her to "stay put" and he'd come to get them. Two hours later, eight people were dead in a fiery collision.

By the following week, autopsy results had shown the woman was alcohol impaired and had a level of THC, the main psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, that indicated she had smoked 15 minutes to an hour before the accident.

This is not about passing judgement, this is about grief and incomprehension. This is about trying to "wrap my head around" facts that seem so contradictory, actions that seem so incongruous with reason, and the enormity and pain of such a loss.

I am a total stranger to these people, and I am having difficulty processing this news. What must they be going through? Add to that the media attention and public scrutiny?

Like most parents, I would assume, I read this and think of my own children. I think of the agony of losing them under a thoroughly accidental, random situation, but a seemingly irresponsible choice on the part of someone I love and care for? What type of darkness could drive a person to make such an error in judgement? Was this something she'd been hiding from her family? an ongoing illness? or, like many families, had they tried to conceal it and deal with it on a personal level?

We all make mistakes, some behind closed doors, some with tragic, public consequences. To pretend that my discretion is any better than hers is to say that I have walked in her shoes, I have been in her head, and I have made all of the right choices. The truth is, I don't know the place she was in, nor can I say that my past actions could never have caused such tragedy.

Let us all be quicker to love than to condemn. Let us thank God our indiscretions have not been laid before the world in the form of such a tragedy. Let us ask God's forgiveness for the sins we have committed, and let us thank Him for the mercy shown to us through Christ's death and resurrection.