Midweek: Concern or Anxiety?

But I'm just concerned.

Nothing seems to be working. I'm just trying to figure out a way...

Sure, we get concerned. Sure, we don't give up after the first try. But when does "concern" become anxiety? When does perseverance become defiance or obsession? I know I said last week was the last installment of our series on anxiety; but I was cleaning my office the other day and came across some notes. On anxiety, of course. I figured they were worth mentioning.

So, how do we know when we've crossed from simple problem solving or resolution and tenacity into something much less godly? Well, that's our Number One: We are more interested in what we want, in the outcome we have planned, than what God wants. God wants us to walk in His peace (John 14:27). God wants us to abide in His power (John 15:7). God wants us to do all things to His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). Can it be the time for street preaching is over? Can it be the contribution the shelter has counted on for years is not coming --by God's design? Can it be the plans we have made are not God's plan for us? When we're not okay with the answer to those questions being Yes, when we're plotting and fixing and managing ad nauseum just to achieve the outcome we think is preferred, we've gone beyond perseverance and concern. (Chances are that we've left behind prayer as well.) And we are deep into the woods of anxiety.  

Number Two: We are hurried/pressured into making unsound decisions. Concern prays, looks at the options, gathers information, and makes decisions based on facts and the Holy Spirit's direction. But anxiety? Well, you've heard the sales pitch before: If you sign with us today, we'll give you a free estimate on that new bathroom you've been wanting. Satan's got a few of his own as well. If you don't tithe this month, you can afford it. Or, If you don't take the overtime work is offering this Sunday, they won't ask you again. Or this one, God hasn't answered; He's hanging you out to dry. Better figure it out yourself. Anxiety takes all of the weight and places it on us when Scripture clearly says we are to cast our cares on Jesus (1 Peter 5:6, 7).

Number Three: We are constantly agitated. Concern might have us quiet, praying throughout the hours of the day, lifting the situation and its varied dimensions as they appear up to the Lord. But anxiety causes a physical response: grinding your teeth, snapping at drivers, avoiding eye contact with your children, blind to the beauty of cloudless skies and chirping of crickets. I'm just hyper-focused. Maybe, for a period of time; but if you go through life feeling tense and annoyed by everyone and everything, you are wrong. Plain and simple, cut and dried. (Personal hang-up here.) We are made for relationship, with our Creator and with others; if we can't find joy in any or all of those things, we need a change of heart. And maybe a Sabbath or two (Isaiah 40:31).  

Number Four: We are constantly mulling the situation over, talking it out even when our ability to do anything is at zero. Concern may be the initial response; concern may lead us to seek answers or take action; but once it has been established there is nothing in our power to be done, we must relinquish all our plans, our desires, our emotions to the Lord. Any more thinking, ranting, drinking, eating, pacing, smoking, or stressing over it is anxiety. The jury is out and what are you doing? The test results will take a week; have you slept at all? You've trained them and prayed for them; are you able to keep your hands off of your adult children's lives? Yes, we have concerns --who wouldn't? God gave us emotions. But those emotions are there as warning lights on the dashboard of our lives, to send us to our knees and draw us to Him. All of that late at night, staring at the ceiling, obsessing over where you will ever find the time to clean before guests arrive --it's not the best use of your time before a busy day; common sense will tell you that. But worse than that, it's anxiety. Better to pray God's will be done and be amazed at how He handles the situation! (Philippians 4:6, 7)

Anxiety is the thief of peace. We willing lay down the gift of God's presence in our circumstances because we want control. Will God do it the way I want it to be done? Hopefully not. The God of the universe, the God who knows the end from the beginning, the God who calls things that are not as though they are, the God who loves His people with an everlasting hesed --this is the God who wants to handle outcomes and carry burdens. This is the God who hears our concerns and will walk with us in the peace that dismantles anxiety.

Missed Opportunities

Our youngest dug in. He was so angry. A friend had been harsh with him; but the truth is, he'd been asking for it all day, pushing every button he could to get the wrong sort of attention. He got it. "Look," I said, "I know you're angry, and maybe your friend really took it to another level. But when we refuse to apologize, we say more about our character than about the other person's wrongdoing. Unforgiveness and pride will make you miserable; not him." Good talk, right? Very motherly, very wise. He wasn't having it. He dug in further. 

I dug in. I was annoyed. Our youngest had been carrying on for hours, breaking every rule known to man. He was angry we'd disciplined him earlier in the day. Starved for attention and stuck in the house (Whose punishment is this anyway?!), he tormented the dog, stood on the chair, threw paper all over the floor, paced the kitchen. He'd finally decided to go get something to do. "Mom, is your office door closed?" Nope, I replied curtly; indicating he was not to "go exploring" in the basement. I remained seated, unwilling to help him despite my idleness, despite his willingness to find something constructive to do. 

Sin, for sure; but missed opportunities as well. We often rue the call for an interview that never came or the stomach bug that laid us up the day of our sister's wedding; these are missed opportunities. We pity ourselves and sorrow over those events that went on without us. We are self-centered creatures. But what about the compliment we never gave or the gentle words we could have spoken instead? What about the prayer we could have prayed, or the gentle hand we never laid on a grieving father's shoulder? These, too, are missed opportunities. Our youngest missed the opportunity to apologize and restore relationship. I missed the opportunity to love him in his rebellion and show him mercy. And I think it safe to say, we have all, on occasion, missed the opportunity to obey, to be salt and light, to be a part of what God is doing in this world and bring Him glory. We might not think of it often, but God's commands and the heart-prickings of the Holy Spirit are opportunities to join with Him in doing something miraculous; bringing hope to the hopeless, freeing the captive, comforting the grief-stricken. When we refuse to restore relationship or show another mercy, we are not just petulant, selfish and sinful children; we have relinquished the gift of partnership with Christ Himself. 

Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.

Jesus' words to Martha (Luke 10) remind us not just to prioritize, not just to slow down and pay attention to important things, but to seize the opportunity for relationship and quiet when it presents itself. 

Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry out against it; for their wickedness has come up before Me."

We all know the story (Jonah 1-4): rebellion, a hungry fish, repentance, and still more bitterness. God's summons to a prophet was not just an executive order, but an invitation also; for Jonah to celebrate with a city full of new believers, brothers and sisters grafted into God's plan, brothers and sisters Jesus commended almost a thousand years later! Jonah chose resentment instead.

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 

That's some tough stuff there (Matthew 5:44). The other challenges Jesus offers in His sermon are no easy thing either. But we are not alone. He has given His Holy Spirit to help us become the type of people who are not easily offended, who forgive quickly and love abundantly. We have only to be willing to accept His offer, to say Yes! to following after Him, listening to the direction and conviction of the Spirit. We partner with Jesus in giving the Father glory with our lives. What an opportunity!

Throughout Scripture, men and women were called to partner with our Savior in doing the will God on earth. Did God need the help of Samson to defeat the Philistines? Did He need a small boy to hand over his lunch that thousands might be fed? Of course not, but for those who were willing, to listen, to share, to be the hands and feet of Christ, these were most gracious, generous opportunities for humanity to be a part of something wonderful and "impossible". It is no different today. God is calling you to do something. It might be great; it might be small. Listen and prepare to seize the opportunity. To refuse is to lose.

There's No Way...But God

Let's take a walk down memory lane, back to childhood and Sunday school. Maybe your teacher even used a flannel board. What was the takeaway from the account of Gideon in Judges 6-7? Was it putting out the fleece, asking God for confirmation? Was it the excitement of pitchers breaking and warriors shouting, The sword of the Lord and of Gideon!? Or was it men "lapping like dogs" and the whittling down of Gideon's army to numbers barely above Superdome attendance in January?

Just the other day I was reading the account of Saul in 1 Samuel 13. His tiny army of 3000 had dwindled to 600 men as they waited for Samuel, the priest, to come and offer sacrifice to God before battle. Okay, 600 hundred men, not impressive; but still twice as many as stood with Gideon. However, Saul and his men were up against 30,000 chariots, 6,000 horsemen, and an infantry "as large as the number of sand grains on the seashore."  To make victory even less likely, the Israelites had become dependent on the Philistines, the very enemies they were fighting to do their metalworking. There were no hammers, swords, picks, or knives in the hands of the army of Israel but for the implements they used daily on their farms; and even those were not well-sharpened, as the Philistines weren't foolish enough to put a razor-sharp edge on the axes of their enemies. Outnumbered, outgunned, and undertrained. Have you ever felt that way? 

While Gideon remained in constant communication with God, Saul's response, as he saw his victory slipping away was to offer a sacrifice to God. Good idea, right? Not at all. He was not a priest, and in those days, only priests were given the authority by God to offer sacrifices. Samuel, Israel's priest had told Saul to wait seven days. As Saul and his army waited, the Philistines powered up. Morale amongst Israel's army began to sink and men began to desert. Can you feel Saul's anxiety beginning to build? Have you ever waited for a miracle or the end to a difficult season? As hours and days pass, as the bank account dwindles, as friends abandon you, as applications go unanswered, as pregnancy tests continue to read negatively, as your spouse's health continues to deteriorate, as your child's cutting escalates... You fight the urge to take matters into your own hands. You fight the urge to say, to do, to take one more pass. Prayer just doesn't seem to be working! The likelihood of victory wanes.

Gideon obeyed. Again and again. As God, right before his eyes diminished his resources; You have too many, and again, You have too many. The more Gideon obeyed, the more God let him in on His plan and offered reassurance. But Saul? Saul was king. Saul may have been humble of circumstance (1 Samuel 9:19-21), but not necessarily humble of character. As king, he began taking matters into his own hands; his reluctance to submit to God and His plans was Saul's Waterloo. God rewarded him with exactly what he wanted: the throne of his own heart. But not the throne of Israel.

Sometimes God places us with our backs against the wall. It might be because we are not His and are called to be, or because we are His and are called to be better. We might find ourselves in a place of subservience, much as Israel was brutally subject to the raids of the Midianites or bound by the metalworking skills of the Philistines. We might find ourselves underwater financially or in poor health, through no fault of our own. We might be overpowered and outnumbered by those who disagree loudly and violently with everything we believe. But if we are called to fight, to stand, to resist, to save; if this is the battle to which God has brought us, the only way we can win is by placing our trust in Him. The only way we can finish well is by obedience to God. And we can trust He is able --no matter the apparent delay, no matter the apparent dearth. He is not late. He is not lacking. We are seeing the battle from the cheap seats. Ours is only to trust the One who led Gideon and chastised Saul. For His glory and for our learning. (Flannel board not included.)   

Midweek: Has Anxiety Got You Seeing Red?

Last week we answered the question, "Can anxiety and gratitude co-exist?" The short answer is yes. The caveat is, like balancing an account, if deposits (gratitude) outnumber withdrawals (anxiety), you can wind up in the black, with a greater peace than anxiety. In our others "talks" about anxiety, we've reviewed the importance of "staying in our lane," minding our own business and not trying to control the behavior or choices of others. We've looked at what Scripture has to say about confession and repentance, freedom from anxiety as the blood of Christ releases us from the guilt and shame of our sin. And we've discussed the overall importance of giving our problems, our fears, our whole lives to Jesus and waiting on His timing in every circumstance. Today, I'd like to finish up our study on anxiety with the sin that has been my Achilles heel for many years: the sin of anger and how that impacts anxiety.

First of all, anger. Why is it sin? Shouldn't I be angry about those who do harm to children or a legal system that is so lacking in results? The anger to which I refer is not that. The anger I and so many others battle comes from feeling as though we are owed something; we are owed respect, we are owed the fulfillment of our dreams, we are owed a fair shake, fill in the blank. It is not anger for the sake of Christ and His righteousness. It is a selfishness. It is pride. It is sin.

Secondly, what does anger have to do with anxiety? When I was a silly little tyke, our neighbors had a dog that was, apparently, an escape artist. Despite having a picket fence around their yard, they kept the dog on a chain. The chain, however, was long enough that furry little Fido's nose juuuust reached the fence on one side. That was the side I chose to reach into the yard and pet the momentarily wagging canine. As soon as my fingers made contact with the soft fur, SNAP! The barking, snarling, whale-eyed and terrified dog used no uncertain terms to communicate her fear, and I wound up on my backside before the fence, by the grace of God escaping stitches (and a moment in which I would have to explain to my mother why I was messing with the neighbor's dog). The dog had learned her ability to flee danger was governed by the chain. That limitation taught her to fear. Fear caused her to react aggressively. I, in response to my sudden fear, stood up from my place on the ground and kicked the fence in anger. The dog, seeing only red
, responded with even more barking and growling, testing the strength of that chain for all she was worth. Anger was the means we both called upon to protect vulnerable places.

Human beings are not, in and of ourselves, well-balanced individuals. We tend to counter one unwelcome feeling or behavior with another from the far end of the spectrum. Like a pendulum swinging back and forth, we careen from one sinful "solution" to another. We counter shame with pride and, sometimes, outrageous behavior. We counter fear with pride and false bravado; Of course I can do this! while our insides are churning like butter. And we counter those anxious feelings of inadequacy, tininess, helplessness, and uncertainty with anger, rage at the people and circumstances who are "making things more difficult." In Peter's denial of Jesus, fear was a huge motivator. Peter feared the murder of his Rabbi and Friend and the likelihood that he, too, could suffer the same. When simple folks accused Peter of being associated with Jesus, he felt threatened. The situation was shocking, it was chaotic, and now these people were dragging him into it! Peter wanted nothing to do with Jesus at that moment, and he responded with angry curses to gain more distance and end the conversation. Anxiety uses anger as a defense.

So, in this our last installment on anxiety (at least, for the time being), I would encourage you, if you have struggled with anger, to ask yourself, "Are you afraid?" Maybe your angry responses to others are the way you protect yourself from being known, being vulnerable; maybe they are rooted in anxiety over what will happen if you do not control the situation. If there is something you fear, what is it? Is it a rational fear? Is there a response more appropriate, more beneficial than anger? And, above all, pray. Turn your thoughts, your words, your behavior over to Jesus and ask His Holy Spirit to be your guide as you seek to purge your life and your relationships of anxiety and its anger.