Midweek: Manifesto of Who I Long to Be

The following is from K.J. Ramsey's book, The Book of Common Courage. I have shared her work before, and I think her poetry captures the pathos of our humanity and the awe of the God who loves us and endures with us anyway. In our weakness and finitude, this awesome God hears our cries for help and our determination to draw near Him and serve Him. May the declaration that follows be our heart's purest offering to Him.

We would rather be shattered than silenced.

We would rather be disturbed than dismissive.

We would rather be heartbroken than hollow.

We would rather be vulnerable than vacuous.

We would rather be burdened than bullies.

We would rather be maligned than mean.

We would rather be aching than arrogant.

We would rather be vilified than vain.

We would rather be crushed than cruel.

God, bind up all the broken pieces of me and your church.

We would rather be in your hands than never at home.

We would rather hurt now than never heal.

~ K.J. Ramsey, The Book of Common Courage 

Not Playin' Around

I've got a friend. Yup, just one. No, not really; I have some wonderful friends. But this one in particular is going through a very difficult time with their spouse. Prior to this difficult time, my friend had asked me to work with him/her on Scripture study. This friend had decided it was time to get serious about the Lord. Just to clarify this level of serious, imagine someone dissatisfied with their job. Yeah, I think it's time to look for a new job, they say. And months go by. Someone asks how well they like their job. Not very well, they reply. It might be time to look for a new one. But they've reached the twelve-year mark, they're in their late thirties: it's getting more difficult to make the move, break from the routine they've established. Another two years goes by before they know it. They're finding zero satisfaction in their job, there's no challenge, they're going through the motions without any real love for what they're doing. Do I really want to get my resume updated, start the search for another job? But I'm not really seeing the benefits of this one; I feel stagnant, but it pays the bills. 

Well, my friend updated his/her resume. My friend decided the search was worth it. My friend decided it was time to leave routine behind and search for all God was wanting to give. To do so means Bible study, memorization, devotion to prayer, being still before the Lord and listening for His voice, THEN obeying it! And before the difficult time arrived, my friend had already begun to do the work. Diligently. Seriously. And this friend who, just two years ago, would have sent me a very different text, sent me this one a few weeks ago:

Hi Judy. I was up till 1. I am committed. Not committed to a looney bin. Committed to growing under your instruction. Lol. And mostly in the Lord.

There is no exaggeration here. This person was, at one time, losing their mind. The texts I would get in his/her darkest times...Oh my! Scary. 

But God! I couldn't ask for a better, more precious text! 

This article was not the manifesto I'd planned. I wanted to rant about wishy-washy Christians who constantly gossip and place all their focus on stupid things like binge-watching and designer bags. I wanted to rage on about how sick I am of people calling themselves by the name of Jesus and not even giving Him the time of day. I wanted to excoriate Christians who think they can grow without reading Scripture and serve without leaving their comfort zones. I wanted to say, most of all, of how I fail Him. How I want to give so much more. How every second I mindlessly waste on my phone would be better used if I give Him that time. I wanted to say how wishy-washy I can be, and how that sickens me. But I think this testimony says it all. 

For my friend, the difficult time has come; but because of his/her willingness to make a change and commit to basic spiritual disciplines, the difficulty will not overcome this child of God. My friend has decided to get serious about a relationship with Jesus, to draw nearer to Him day after day, even when so much else is demanding attention, even when so many lies are being spoken. My friend has been diligent, faithful on the mountain top and in the valley, and has met there the Friend who is with us in all things. Are you ready to get serious?

Uniquely His

When I was little, I really disliked my name. I can't say I'm super fond of it now, but the biggest issue I had with it all those years ago, was the spelling (something I've grown to appreciate). On family vacations, I'd search rack after rack at gift shops, looking for personalized pencils, imprinted bags, customized bracelets, and those cute little stamped license plates for your bike: I rarely found Judy, much less J-U-D-I. I began spelling my name with a y, just to be "normal." My mother curtly responded by telling me she'd used an I that I might stand out; not something an introverted twelve-year old wants to do. Yet, having someone recognize me, place my name on something I possessed was somehow important to me. These days, when I search gift shops looking for my name, I look to be sure it's not there. I like being the only J-U-D-I in the room. I like being unique.

Psalm 139 is one of the most powerful reminders of our uniqueness at the hands of a creative and powerful God. My mother chose my name; she had the power to do that. But she had no way of knowing whether that name would suit me, whether I'd appreciate the rarity of it, whether it would fit nicely with the last name of my one-day husband (Trust me, I've heard some really interesting match-ups!). God knows everything about His children. When He formed us, He formed us with a purpose and for that purpose --His glory. He designed the DNA within us to reflect both of our parents. (People always told me how much I look like my mom. My response was always, "You should have seen my dad.") Each of us was made with thoughts our Heavenly Father understands and words our Heavenly Father knows before we say them. He has divinely appointed and constrained events throughout the days He has determined for us. He knows everything about us: our triggers, our dreams, our weaknesses, our fears, and our joys. He sees us at all times, everywhere we go. Even the parts of ourselves we deny or the ones of which we are unaware, He knows. He thinks innumerable thoughts of favor toward us, and He will guide us where we need to go. But we have to be His children.

God isn't going around blessing and favoring and protecting and maturing those who deny Him any more than my mother could go around naming the children in our neighborhood. His favor (and His discipline as well) is for His children, those who are uniquely His. Are there those who reject the God of the Bible who are rich or famous or happy in their relationships? Absolutely, but they're not the people I want to be when the fat lady sings --or even when she's just warming up, to be honest. Where is their blessing coming from? I want the blessing of being God's child, of finding my name written not on a beanie or a bookbag, but in the Lamb's Book of Life. I pray you do, too.

Midweek: Love of Enemies

The following segment on forgiveness and loving our enemies is from Jean Vanier's book, Becoming Human:

The love of one's enemy is at the heart of the Christian message. Jesus says forcefully, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, speak well of those who speak badly of you, and pray for those who abuse you." (Luke 6:27-28)

Jesus' words were spoken in Galilee, near Lake Tiberias. For many centuries the Jewish peopla had been overrun by foreign powers: first by the Babylonians, then by the Persians, later by the Greeks, and then by the Romans. The Jewish people, naturally, hated this foreign domination. Crushed in their dignity and freedom, they sought liberation...

Sometime after the birth of Christ, a certain Judas Ezechias led a powerful revolt in Galilee that was crushed by the Romans. Flavius Josephus, a Jewish historian of the first century, tells us that in retaliation for the revolt, the Roaman crucified two thousand Galileans. And now Jesus is telling the Galileans to love their enemies! To pray for those who abuse and crush them! Imagine their anger! "No! I hate the Romans! I want to kill them!" you can hear them say. "They crucified my father, my brother, my son, my uncle...." When we read Jesus' words in such a context an invitation to love our enemies might seem idealistic or even sentimental. For the Galileans, Jesus' words could seem like provocation, the words of a coward, someone frightened of violence and confrontation. They might even think of Jesus as an agent of the Romans trying to dampen the true aspirations of the Jewish people for freedom.

But Jesus was...making a promise of transformation and inner liberation that, if it had been received, could have transformed the history of the world....

"Enemy" is a very strong word. It generally refers to those who are in a state of war. It can also be used to describe groups of individuals who oppress others, who shackle their freedom and prevent their growth. Because "enemy" is such a strong term, it's easy for us to deny that we have enemies. But...enemies...can be much simpler, much closer to home. An enemy is someone who stands in the way of our freedom, dignity, and capacity to grow and to love, someone whom we avoid or with whom we refuse to communicate....

In order to enter the path of forgiveness, we have to lose our feelings of both superiority and inferiority. Each of us has hurt another, each of us has been hurt. And so we must take responsibility for our lives as well as for the future....

To forgive means to believe that each of us can evolve and change, that human redemption is possible....

To forgive means to yearn for unity and peace. Unity is the ultimate treasure. It is the place where, in the garden of humanity, each one of us can grow, bear fruit, and give life.

Jesus' invitation to love one's enemies must have appeared dangerously utopian to the Galileans. Maybe it was only when they saw him standing up to the religious leaders of his day, pursuing a courageous and dangerous course for love, truth, and the liberation of the oppressed, that some began to understand that this was a new way to struggle for peace and to break the seemingly unending chain of human oppression, Loving our enemies means to see them as individuals who are perhaps caught up in a cycle of fear, and oppression, and in their character traits and need for power, but who are individuals nonetheless and are, beneath everything, sacred and precious. Their secret person is hidden behind walls of fear. To love them is to hope and yearn that instead of living a form of self-destruction, locked up in their own pride and power, they can be liberated.

~ Jean Vanier, Becoming Human