Balance Is Not a Contradiction

God is a God of mercy. God is a God of justice. 

God is a God of honor. God is a God of meekness.

God is a God of self-control. God is a God of excess. 

Is any of this making sense to you? It should. 

Have you ever had to discipline your child but felt in your heart you had to be merciful? You didn't want to crush him, but you had to teach him by way of natural consequences. So, let's go all 1960s and say the Beav smashed a neighbor's window with a line drive right under the clothesline even though he was told to play ball in the park down the street. Justice says he works off the cost of replacing the window. You speak with the neighbor and come to a suitable agreement: Beav will mow the neighbor's grass and run to the store for her each week for the entire summer. He learns his lesson mercifully but justly.

Have you ever worked really hard at something, achieved the goal of a lifetime? Maybe your friends are so excited for you, they throw a soiree in your honor. You've earned it! they say. And you have; it is well-deserved. But you don't lord it over others. You are humbled by the graciousness and kindness of your friends. Even though you have achieved something they probably never will, you care for them, you appreciate them. Your relationship with them means more to you than your title or status.

Have you ever committed to achieving better health? You consult your doctor, you begin working out regularly, you give up coffee and chocolate cake (your two favorite indulgences), you take your meds consistently, and you get plenty of sleep. You're seeing results, feeling better! The day comes when your best friend graduates from culinary school. She has prepared an amazing flourless chocolate cake, so thick and rich and dark-- I digress. She pairs it with a St. Helena Blackheart Espresso. It's extravagant, almost too, but this is your best friend, and she has longed to share this moment with you. You are more than generous in your praise as you indulge, savoring every chocolatey bite, every spicy sip. Without being reckless or gluttonous or disingenuous, you lavishly pour out your acclaim with each euphoric smile and epicurean sigh. This is a demonstration --a necessary demonstration of excess and bounteousness in a person of self-control.

Now these are imperfect examples, of course, but as near as I am able to describe some of the "apparent conflicts" in the character of God. God does not lie; God does not contradict Himself; God is the same yesterday, today and forever. There are no conflicts. He is a God of peace and order. And we are to be imitators of Him. We are to walk balanced lives, enjoying the sensuous blessings He has given us: the feel of the sun on our skin, the sound of appreciation from the lips of our friends, the softness of a rabbit's fur, the nutty flavor of arugula, the smell of freshly cut grass, our lover's kiss, the soreness of our muscles after a hard day of work, the feel of tears drying on our face after a good cry, the giggles of children playing. But we are not to lie in the sun until our skin is sore and bubbling, or achieve just to receive the praises of men, or pluck the fur from a bunny that we might possess its softness, or eat arugula exclusively, or sit for hours smelling grass while we neglect to do our work, or find a lover just so we might share his kiss, or work to injury, or make others cry that they might experience the feeling of their evaporating tears, or allow our children unmoderated play simply because they find it amusing and you revel in their amusement. 

Balance is essential, not denying ourselves exuberance or restraint. He made us human; He gave us senses and emotions. He made us in His image, giving us purpose and responsibility as well. We are stewards and sojourners, givers and receivers, keeping our eyes on Him and our choices in alignment with His character.

"Homosexual Christians"

I'm not feeling particularly good about some of my posts this month. It's been difficult. I've said some things publicly that I prefer to say privately and to those who are willing to hear them. Know your audience, right? However, within the first few days of June, God put it on my heart to say those difficult things and even to care deeply if they hurt folks; but care in so much as it provokes me to pray, not modify or retract the truth. I've not tried to debate the issue of sin. Those who deny homosexuality is sin, I'm sure, have heard and countered every argument, every verse, every rationale; they will not submit to truth, and I will not provide the fight they are so eagerly seeking. I'm not sitting high and mighty in my tower of heterosexuality, passing judgment on all of the people who "were made this way;" I'm bowing in obedience to the Word of God and telling them No, you weren't. 

There is something I've noticed --and please don't get me wrong, Christians are not perfect, even the ones who lead heterosexual lives; they have yelled, they have said and done terrible things in the name of "righteousness" (I counter, that it's self-righteousness, not Christ's righteousness)-- but I have watched interviews, listened to "gay pastors" attempt to elucidate their position, spoken to and watched the behavior of "gay Christians," and more often than not, I see arrogance, rebellion, and a caustic type of self-justification. I guess, today's focus is more keenly on those who say they are Christians, seeking first the kingdom of God, but their sin of same sex relations is preeminent, more valuable and less disposable; it is lord of their lives. As I've said, they don't seem to be too interested in Scripture, but perhaps they'll indulge me momentarily and look at their own responses to it. (To be clear, I am not talking about Christians who are tempted by same sex attraction but refuse to indulge even on occasion, and certainly refuse to live that lifestyle. That is resistance, and it is worthy of thanksgiving and encouragement.) 

For instance, if I was to teach the gospel to a room full of people and any one of them was to walk out midway or even stand up and call me a liar and a charlatan, should I belittle them, scream at them, curse at them, throw up my middle finger, or react with any other self-indulgent expression? Of course not! You would think I was crazy, number one; and the message of the gospel would go right out the window. Forgiveness? A gentle answer? Love? It's their loss, my friend, and a cause for pity that demands fervent prayer. So why is the response of "gay Christians" to the message of sin so prevalently hostile? Putdowns, vulgar memes, curses I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, a ridiculous DEFCON 3-type response to questions that should encourage thought or discussion absent vox populi. In the mid-nineties, I had an employee who wore a t-shirt stating I'm gay, I'm proud, and I'm in your living room with my feet up, or something to that effect. To my knowledge, she never claimed to be a believer, but the responses from "gay Christians" today are far worse than that, and really, who is challenging them? In reality, are they so perpetually persecuted every moment of the day by obedient Christians beating them over the head with Scriptures or showing up at their workplaces with signs or hanging banners in public buildings? Really? Let's face it, many Bible-believing heterosexuals have been intimidated into silence! And why tell us you are intentionally in our faces, trying to offend us? Do you think we will be won over by that approach, or do you think we will acquiesce and agree out of sheer fatigue? As ministers of reconciliation, are we called to make ourselves offensive or the center of attention? Or is Jesus, the One who should be the center of attention, offensive enough to the dying without our taking center stage? I have the truth of Scripture behind me, but as I said at the beginning, I don't particularly enjoy confronting wrong, especially when it's such a hot-button issue, especially when it means offending people. So, why is someone actively engaged in sin, with no biblical leg on which to stand, so eager to provoke others? (That was rhetorical, but I will answer. If I allow myself to respond wrongfully, I become the victim of a type of character suicide: my point appears invalid because of my questionable character. If I'm provoked and I am bullied into submission, my argument is silenced; if I simply walk off in frustration, I take my argument with me. Either way, they are free to return to their sin unchallenged by me.)

Lastly, we all sin; and if I'm being honest, I know which sins are hardest for me to resist. If a Christian brother or sister were to confront me in love or ask me how I reconcile my consistent failure to obey with my love for Jesus, I would probably respond one of two ways: Yes, I tend to struggle with that; please pray for me, or I never thought about it that way; oh, God forbid I should ever try to reconcile my sin! But cuss them out? Tell them if they don't like it, they know what they can do? Never! Why would I? Even if I thought they were dead wrong, didn't have all the facts, were saying something completely unfounded in Scripture (like someone who once told me I had sinned because I cut my hair short), I wouldn't react venomously. I might go home and search the Scriptures or ask my pastor, bearing in mind that iron sharpens iron, and they might just be right; or perhaps I can show them where they have been misled. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I am eager to remain faithful to Jesus. That's the bottom line. If someone accuses me of being otherwise, I want to know the basis for their accusation. Teach me. Show me. That Christ might be glorified!

Living life as a homosexual is not something to be proud of. Living life as a homosexual is a choice to sin. Living life as a "homosexual Christian" is like being a heroin addict straight enough to find a spouse but completely unwilling to get sober enough to be one. And if that makes you uncomfortable, I'm praying it's for the same reasons I'm uncomfortable writing it.

Take a Step in the Right Direction

I tip-toed 'round, avoiding the places on the stairs which creak, lifted the latch on the door aaaallll the way first, and then opened it, hoping it wouldn't stick. Like another more infamous Murphy (Murph the Surf, jewel thief and beach bum) I held my breath, clung to the door jamb, and slooowly let my weight fall, retrieving my slippers from the floor outside my mother's room. Waking her means awakening her perpetual thumps and whistles which continue until bedtime. She has taken to sleeping later, and I am not going to buck the system. So why go to such extremes just for a pair of slippers? I felt naked without them! It was then I realized just how much like my husband I had become. Scott is the Gucci king. (He calls his slippers "Guccis" and the explanation dates so far back I can't even recall what it is; but here we are.) He has indoor Guccis and outdoor Guccis. His feet have never --and I do mean never-- seen sunlight, wall-to-wall carpeting, fresh grass, Pergo, or anything but a bathmat, bedsheets, or the shower floor (and that would be our shower floor; all others are on a case-by-case basis). Newborn babies across the globe envy the velvety softness of his feet. Legend has it, someone at a public pool actually went blind from their brilliant white flash. But I digress. When Scott and I first met, I didn't own a pair of slippers. I now have two: those I wear first thing in the morning, and those I wear over my socks later in the day. Don't judge me, help me; it's a cult. 

Living together as husband and wife, we transform one another --hopefully for the better. Proverbs 27:17 (CJSB) says Just as iron sharpens iron a person sharpens the character of his friend. We are meant to make one another better. My husband, as head of our household, bears the overall responsibility for that. If one occupant is tearing down another, he needs to set it right. If someone is struggling with their responsibilities, he makes sure the problem is resolved. And as his helper, I encourage him in that, facilitate his authority and management of the household, plan with him how our family and we as individuals can fulfill our specific roles and discover who God has called us to be. We make one another better --at least, that's the objective. 

We adopt one another's methods. In 1 Corinthians 11:1 (CJSB), Paul urges the Corinthian believers, try to imitate me, even as I myself try to imitate the Messiah. He's talking about intent here: observe, learn, copy what I'm doing because I'm copying what Jesus did. My husband and I learn from one another. I see him doing something in a much better way, and I study that with the intent to imitate; he does as well. From time to time, there are intentional show-me-how-to-do-that moments, and we teach one another through explanation or demonstration.

And then, there are the slippers. I never liked having anything on my feet. Indoors or out, on every possible occasion, I was barefoot. My husband, the man with floors so clean that --even with a dog-- you could eat off them, pointed out that my naked feet, as they roamed freely in the yard, were magnets for grass and dirt which then accompanied me back into the house. My husband works hard for his dinner plate floors, so out of respect, I began keeping shoes by the door for my trips in and out. Eventually, I began keeping them on all the time. Now, I'm almost as obsessive as he is. And it just sort of happened. I didn't want slippers. I didn't like slippers. I wore them, not to appease an angry husband, but to demonstrate respect, to treat him as I would care to be treated. Because I initially placed value on our relationship, because slippers developed as a habit, they became something I want to do, something I personally appreciate. 

How closely do you resemble Jesus? Is your marriage to Him a joy or an obligation? Is there something about living with Him that feels forced? Are you doing "good things" to appease an angry God? Is there some habit --like Bible reading, prayer, church attendance-- that just won't gain a foothold (no pun intended)? Psalm 119:97 says Oh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day. Can you honestly say that? I do it! I love it! What have you learned from Scripture in the past week? How many passages have you memorized in the past month? When you look at your life, who do you see?

We become more like Jesus when we spend time with Him. Scripture clearly spells out His methods; it's all recorded that we might live in the manner He lives, love as He loves. His Holy Spirit, through His presence in our lives, transforms our character, makes us better versions of the image bearers we were created to be. And while we don't make Him better, we do bring Him glory, by the way we spread His gospel in word and deed wherever we place our feet --with or without Guccis.

Juneteenth 2023

Freedom is a concept, an intangible. It certainly can manifest itself in tangible ways: the absence of chains or restrictions, a myriad of choices as opposed to only one path to take or flavor of coffee. But the substance of freedom itself lies within a place that is not marked on a map.

Frederick Douglass was born into bondage, a slave in Maryland, but freedom lived in his mind. With that mind, he taught himself to read and write, he escaped slavery, and began his journey to light for others the path toward freedom in mind and spirit. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was hanged for crimes against Germany during WW2. Though in prison, he died free: freedom lived in his mind. Corrie Ten Boom and her family were taken captive by Nazi forces in retribution for hiding Jews. Months after being sent to a concentration camp where she watched her sister die, Corrie was released on a "clerical error." But freedom lived in her mind: Miss Ten Boom had been free long before her release and continued to find freedom as she told her story again and again. Lucille Bridges refused to allow limitations placed, at the time, on her children and her people to limit or bind her. She fought to see her daughter, Ruby, receive the same opportunities given to white children. Freedom lived in her mind and lives today in the mind of her daughter, an author and the founder of the Ruby Bridges Foundation which promotes tolerance and unity among school-age children.

Today we celebrate freedom yet, not everyone is free. There are those who are suffering abuse at the hands of parents and spouses. There are those who, because of circumstances are not free to attend any university they choose or live in any neighborhood they would like. There are those who are hungry, living in the streets and bound by mental illness. There are many who are attached to dialysis machines, heart monitors, or respirators. Not everyone is free, and we have to face the fact, never, in this life, in this country, will everyone be free. There are those who live with wonderful spouses and caring parents who are not free. There are those who have the means to attend premier universities and live on tree-lined streets in quiet neighborhoods; they are not free. There are many who eat as they please at tables surrounded by family in homes filled with love, carefree and stable in mind, who are not free. There are those with healthy kidneys and hearts and lungs who remain bound. Freedom is a concept...

...and perfect freedom, freedom with a capital F is a reality only in Jesus Christ. 

Speaking from experience, I have been a slave even as I was born white into a middle-class American family. I have lived in the prison of sin and want and darkness. Only when I have looked to Jesus, Savior, Deliverer, Peace, Provider; only when I have trusted Him to lead the way and obeyed the things He has told me to do in Scripture; only then have I tasted freedom. Not freedom as in "all things equal" or "all circumstances to my liking," but the freedom that lives in the minds of those who wish to be free and to do what it takes to be unburdened of anything that shackles their spirits.