Be a Parent Or Get Rid Of the Dog

"He's hot!" says our eleven-year old.

"He's hot!" says my cousin's daughter. She wanted me to be her wingman and fall out in the halls of ICU.

"He is smokin'!" says my neighbor's six-year old.

"At your age, aren't they supposed to be cute?" I ask.

Our culture's preoccupation with sex and bodies has permeated the minds of our youth. Do little girls even dream of white picket fences anymore? Or do they think just as crudely and temporarily about boys as boys tend to think about girls? Is this what the Women's Rights Movement was supposed to accomplish?

Or is it some twisted sense of empowerment that says, "However base your thoughts about me, it gives me power to think the same way about you"? After all, we are supposed to empower our daughters, right? Is empowerment being just as wrong as "the other guys?" Why is it wrong for men to treat women like sexual objects, but it supposed to make our girls stronger to do the same to men? If children who grow up with abuse, abuse younger siblings, is that empowerment? What if they abuse that parent when he/ she ages, refusing to feed them or provide proper care? Is that what we want?

And what about "hook-ups"? I was sexually abused. As I reached adulthood, my attitudes about sex were warped and my actions casual. In my mind, "Do unto others before they can do unto you," was the safest and truest aphorism by which to live. But I was broken! I had been hurt and was self-medicating -- breaking myself even more! And yet, children today are growing up with the same set of ideas without the catalyst. Or maybe it's just not the same kind. Maybe it's not abuse. Maybe it's indifference.

My sex talk consisted of me, sitting on the floor in front of the TV on a Saturday afternoon (most likely watching Dr. Shock), my mother handing me the Childcraft Encyclopedia open to  "Reproduction," and telling me, "If you have any questions, just ask." She then walked upstairs. Well, I'd already had The Talk -- twice, at two different schools. I'm sure my mother held her breath for, like, the next twenty years -- "Please don't ask; please don't ask." But all of that was basically the physiology. Until parenthood, I'd never realized how much everyone had left out.

When school's began lobbying for the right to teach sex education -- "So they won't be learning it on the streets, you know" -- that DID NOT absolve parents. Physiology. Morality. See, two different things. They're not even spelled the same way. Instead, we have a bunch of sexually informed, but morally deprived children running around. Listen, I'm not real keen on schools handing out condoms or birth control, but that aside, I DO NOT want my local public school teaching morality without me at least, getting a say in it at home. These schools were never established to substitute for parenting, but the more we expect them to, the more they will!

Turn that garbage off when you're driving along. Forget DVRing that crap! Pay attention to what she's wearing when she goes out. Meet his friends. Ask questions. And if you don't like the answers, do something about it. We prioritize being "politically correct" and curbing our dogs, but shouldn't we be giving some thought to intentionally raising our kids? If you can't do all three, forget being popular, and leave the dog with a friend! An entire generation+ is running around with some very twisted and flat out wrong ideas about their bodies, relationships, strength, protection, adulthood. Good kids with bright futures are out there floundering in a sea of trial and error.

The next time your child says, "He's hot!" ask her exactly what that means. I'd love to hear.

BOOTS ON THE GROUND!

I want to apologize right off the bat. Just this afternoon, I posted "Do You Like Iranian Cuisine," and here I am again, ranting about this abhorrent Iraq thing. As the mother and mother-in-law of American troops, I am irate. As an American citizen, I am irate. As a rational human being, I am irate. And you should be, too!

A mere 48 hours or so ago, my husband and I watched as President Barack Obama vowed NOT to put troops on the ground in Iraq. This evening in the middle of my perfectly good "this is how much we're paying for crappy service" demonstration, complete with online articles and emails -- my husband is a bit of a saint, yes. Why do you ask? Anyway, mid-tirade I see this:

More US troops to Iraq; special forces considered. I read the headline, and my unbelievably captive husband says, "I thought we weren't putting any troops on the ground." OK, so it's not just me. I Google it. Yup, he said that.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS SO WONDERFUL ABOUT THIS ADMINISTRATION?? During Obama's first campaign I was virtually (maybe completely) accused of being a racist -- "Why do you have a problem with a black President?"

"I'm not talking about a black President, I'm talking about an incompetent President!"

Others wanted to cheer me into agreement, "There's history being made here," and then shame me into participation, "Don't you want to be a part of history?"

"Seriously? Even BAD history?"

I had always been taught to pray for our leadership, even those with whom you do not agree. So, when President Obama took office I continued to pray for our country and its Administration. I even began to think he might just turn out to be as competent a POTUS as he is an orator. Yeah, I admit it was not during my most lucid moments, but one can always hope, right?

Well, here we are, and Joe Isuzu is at it again. Remember him? He'd tell outrageous lies, and beneath him on the screen, "(He's lying)". Yeah, no kidding.

I know this is linked above, but I just have to show you this:

"President Barack Obama notified Congress Monday that up to 275 troops could be sent to Iraq to provide support and security for U.S. personnel and the American Embassy in Baghdad. About 170 of those forces have already arrived and another 100 soldiers be on standby in a nearby country until they are needed, a U.S. official said.
While Obama has vowed to keep U.S. forces out of combat in Iraq, he said in his notification to Congress that the personnel moving into the region are equipped for direct fighting.
And separately, three U.S. officials said the White House was considering sending a contingent of special forces soldiers to Iraq. Their limited mission - which has not yet been approved - would focus on training and advising beleaguered Iraqi troops, many of whom have fled their posts across the nation's north and west as the al-Qaida-inspired insurgency has advanced in the worst threat to the country since American troops left in 2011."

Some on the way, some on standby, and possibly even a second wave. Folks, we are here days after he said we would not be! And still he assures we "will not be dragged into another war." The things he promised, the criticisms he made regarding previous Administrations, all the bait that Americans swallowed with each campaign -- it's biting us in the tin can. WAKE UP!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I have had enough of these political popularity contests every four years. I have had enough of folks being so wrapped up in Kimye they can't tell a crap from a cream puff -- granted there haven't been many "creams" lately -- but if state and local elections weren't just as bad, we would have weeded these jerks out a long time ago.

Look, I realize, some dictators and factions are a threat to all of society and must be stopped at all costs. I even know all about "They came for the Socialists, and I did not speak up..." I get it. But didn't someone also say that doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, is insanity? I wonder what a group rate would cost at a place like McLean Hospital?

Rules Are Rules Are Rules

Way back when, there was this group of guys who got all caught up in rules. They were so concerned what others were doing they didn't see how wrong they really were. This was so characteristic of their behavior that their name became an adjective -- "Pharisaical."

Enter the teachers at Central Davidson High School. Last week, senior Violet Burkhart wore a dress for her last day of school. With two hours left in the day, she was removed from classes and told she was being sent home because her dress was too short.

In this week's story, Mom wore the actual dress to Violet's graduation. I hadn't seen last week's story, but I was intrigued now. "This, I gotta see!"

Here are mom, Amy Redwine, and Violet in "the dress."

I went to a Christian school. And they measured! Our dress code stated skirts and dresses could be "no more than 3 inches above the knee." It was the '70s. You couldn't buy much that wasn't, but there it was. Standards seem much different now, but Violet's public high school is in Lexington, NC., assumption being, you're not in Philly anymore. I thought it was refreshing to see schools with more to their dress codes than "No Colors" and "Bras must be worn -- but with shirts over them."

That being said, allow me to remind you, 1) there were two hours left in the day, her last day, forever 2) this kid is all legs -- kudos to Mom for even finding a dress long enough, 3) she was sent home -- not corrected, explained the concern behind the rule, or the school's responsibility to encourage modesty in young ladies; not even furnished something out of the school store or asked to have other clothes brought for her.

In an interview Violet said she was told her skirt was half an inch too short. Now, I realize school officials could not allow that kind of anarchy. A half-inch today, and tomorrow they'll be showing up looking like Li'l Kim. I know what everyone knows about supervising large groups of people, especially teen people: If you let it go for one, you have to let it go for them all. The first time you make an exception, only makes it easier to do a second time, and a third, and so on.

NO! NO! And NO! Is this dress code about responsibility, self-respect, modesty, order, or what? Is this about the students or the staff? In their Civics classes (Do they still have them?) do they teach anything about the letter of the law, and the spirit of the law? Are they teaching and training individuals or practicing mind-melding? You guys deal with students every minute of the day, and you can't handle one 17(?)YO whose dress is half an inch out of compliance, on her last day ever??

Sarcasm and outrage aside, here was a great opportunity to teach this young adult about rules -- not just that we have them, they're necessary, they can't be broken, blah, blah, blah. What difference would it have made if a female teacher talked about her concern for Violet? Not, "I'm concerned you're going to grow up to be a tramp," but that these types of decisions are now going to be hers, that bad choices can stick with you. What if the teacher had shared an example from her life, or talked about self-respect? And, graciously allowed Violet to stay for the last 120 minutes of her high school life.

I don't know Violet. Maybe she's hell on wheels. Maybe she would have laughed in the teacher's face. But, now, thanks to this incident, I do know Central Davidson High School. Lucky for them, that's kind of tough to turn into an adjective.

Do You Like Iranian Cuisine?

Meet my friend, Hassan. Hassan is the President of Iran. (I know some pretty important people, huh?) Hassan and I are thinking about getting together to kick this other guy's butt. Well, it's really lots of guys, but we'll call this guy ISIL. ISIL is currently the school yard bully in the neighboring town. I say currently, because Hassan and his friends used to be the bullies. As a matter of fact, I've bullied a few people here and there, but never mind that. The important thing is Hassan and I are joining forces to fight for truth, justice and the American way! Or the Iranian way. I'm not sure who's leading this operation. I guess I'll find out, though.

Hassan and I have agreed, this is not about us. This is about the security of the entire world, and any other motive for butting in some one's business would be wrong, and pointless, and fatal -- well, not to us directly, but... Well, I think Hassan's an OK guy to do this. He truly wants to see Middle School East under control.

Some people say I shouldn't trust Hassan because of our history together. But we haven't had History together for months!

Well, G2G! Hassan is asking me for some passwords he's going to need -- oh, and some money. And, what?! Hey, wait. Hassan!

P.S. I've included a picture of John Kerry when he realized he had ordered the Lamb and Asparagus Stew without checking the SPECIALS board!

And this is my friend, Hassan, ordering me all three volumes of his book, Islamic Political Thought, so I can study up!

  

We'll be the best of friends!