Anniversary

"Where were you?" 

There aren't too many of us who, on this day, need an explanation. Some were standing in line at Starbucks, manically checking their watches. Some were breathing a sigh of relief after waving a rowdy brood off on the school bus. Those of us from the night shift were slumbering blissfully. And others? Well, we know.

"But where was God?"

I have been asked that question a few times since 9/11. The 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. Hurricane Katrina. Moore, OK. Big theology for such a tiny blog. But here's how I see it.

He was on His throne, just where he was when the sun was peeking above the horizon that morning; when birds were trilling and the skies were bathed in color. He was keeping His eye on us, just as He was the day that really nice guy from the towing company helped you change that flat and get you to your sister's wedding in time. He was as generous as the day you bought that house for a steal, or found the $20 when you were low on gas. He was just as sovereign as the day you landed that great job, or got an A+ on your math test, or asked her to marry you (and she said "Yes!"). He had a plan, just as He did the day Hitler committed suicide in that bunker, or Nelson Mandela was born. He was with those who perished that day, just as He was the first time you heard the cry of your perfectly healthy baby boy. And He is with you today, even as you doubt His existence or His power or His love for you...just as He was the day you somehow decided He wasn't. 

So, when all the cool stuff was happening...

"Where were you?"

What Are You Looking For?

That sinking feeling when you realize you have lost your phone. Your keys. Your wallet.  Your kid.  Yep, my ex-husband and I lost our daughter at the beach one time.  I don't think there is a worse place to lose a child.  Add to the usual possibilities -- abduction by any one of hundreds of strangers (God forbid) or a terrified, wandering child -- the possibility of her being swept out to sea and, at the very moment you are standing there wondering what to do next, she is drowning and her tiny voice cannot be heard above the roar of the waves.  Guilt.  "Why were we ever allowed to reproduce?!"  "Why didn't I...?"  Then blame - "Why didn't you...?"  All the while, frantically searching.  Once our Teenie Weenie was found, we hugged her and kissed her, and certainly vowed to be more vigilant, but it really threw some cold, hard sobriety into an otherwise playful day off.

Luke 15 tells three stories of loss.  First, the shepherd who has one hundred sheep.  When one strays, he leaves the others to find it.  "When he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders."

The second is a woman who loses one of ten coins -- perhaps her last ten, perhaps coins of great value.  She frantically works to locate the one that is lost.  When she does, she calls her friends in to rejoice.

The third is a son.  A son who, though he has a will and has decided to wander from home, he has rendered his father a victim of great loss.  His father does not pound the pavements in search of him; he does not put up posters or offer a reward.  But we see his father searching the horizon, longing everyday for his lost son's return.  "And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming."  A great banquet is held to celebrate.

What strikes me here, is the increasing value: one percent of the shepherd's wealth, one tenth of the woman's, half of the father's.  Possessions, to a life.  And yet, the scenarios are the same: loss, search, celebration.  We seem to resolve all loss with the same instinctive behaviors.

Luke 19:10 tells us that Jesus is no different: "For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost."  There are those who are lost.  The Greek here is "apollymi," a word meaning in peril, loss ruin or headed for destruction.  But Jesus brings hope!  He seeks them.  The Greek for seek is "zeteo," and means to strive after -- active and emotional search; one definition even says "to crave or demand."

All this to say, I have been challenged.  Do I resist talking about what Jesus has done for us?  Do I halfheartedly wonder if the opportunity will come up -- maybe somebody who is really nice, who really seems receptive?  Or do I actively seek out those I believe to be in peril, headed for destruction, lost?  Am I looking for opportunities, or simply waiting for them?  Am I believing that God can do anything, or am I weighing the possibilities on a scale that is "much more rational?"  The Bible says, no guilt; no blame.  Just find them.  Oh, and then?  Celebration!





Thank You, Lisa Harper!

"There once was a little girl who wanted to be very good.  She felt all alone in a very big world, and wanted desperately for someone to love her for her.  She had this idea that one day her handsome prince would show up on his beautiful white horse and sweep her off her feet.  But in the darkness and loneliness of the night, she heard a voice telling her it was a silly idea - a very silly idea.  After all, what would a handsome prince on a clean white horse want with someone like her?  In fact, the voice told her that not only was she silly and hopeless, but she was dirty and unworthy, and no matter how good she could ever be, she would never be good enough."

Is this your story?  For many it is.  It is mine.  It is Lisa Harper's also. 

I had the privilege of listening to her speak at Women of Faith, this past weekend.  She spoke of knowing Jesus as the payment for her sins, and her Savior from eternal death, but never really experiencing Him as the lover of her soul.  She tried to please Him, because after all, He is this big God who is holy and just and righteous, and sits on His big throne just watching for us to step out of line, ready to spring into action and hammer us into submission.  But she had never really known the freedom that He purchased for us at the cross.  Listening to her put into words so many of the frustrations I experienced while trying to be good, knowing her journey with Christ and for Christ is as recent as the last decade, and witnessing the impact she has (an entire arena silent and breathless as she told her story), gives me hope.  Hope that I can share the truth with others who are trying to reach Jesus or goodness or peace; hope that I can make a difference in the lives of others because Jesus has made such a difference in mine!

But God...

"Putting confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble is like chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot."  (Proverbs 25:19)

I have a missing tooth.  My old dentist used to tease me; every time he looked into examine my teeth he'd rib, "Still hasn't grown back, Huh?"  That's how long it's been missing.  And that's how big of a coward I am about getting it fixed.  But I have never gotten used to it being MIA.  I chew on the opposite side.  I avoid that area all together.

Unless you are a Wallenda, or have a backyard full of dogs and the darling little gifts they leave behind, chances are you pay very little attention to where you step.  I also have arthritis in my knee and stress fractures in both feet.  Humidity and showing off both remind me of my limitations.  I hobble very gingerly about until the pain subsides.

Proverbs says to trust in someone that can fail you, or give you such pain you want to slap your momma, or will crumble beneath you at any moment, is foolish.

But God...

Psalm 91

 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
    he is my God, and I trust him.
³ For he will rescue you from every trap
    and protect you from deadly disease.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers.
    He will shelter you with his wings.
    His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
⁵ Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
    nor the arrow that flies in the day.
⁶ Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
    nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
⁷ Though a thousand fall at your side,
    though ten thousand are dying around you,
    these evils will not touch you.
⁸ Just open your eyes,
    and see how the wicked are punished.

⁹ If you make the Lord your refuge,
    if you make the Most High your shelter,
¹⁰ no evil will conquer you;
    no plague will come near your home.
¹¹ For he will order his angels
    to protect you wherever you go.
¹² They will hold you up with their hands
    so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
¹³ You will trample upon lions and cobras;
    you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

¹⁴ The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
    I will protect those who trust in my name.
¹⁵ When they call on me, I will answer;
    I will be with them in trouble.
    I will rescue and honor them.
¹⁶ I will reward them with a long life
    and give them my salvation.”