Goin' All "Mary Poppins" on Ya

Words fail me.  Yep! It's true.  Well, maybe not completely.  There's a verse in Romans that says God's kindness, patience, forgiveness is meant to draw us away from the sin and darkness of this world, and draw us toward Him. In times like these, I mostly hear from the pulpits of our churches, this verse explains why God doesn't just whack us all -- or at least "the bad people" -- if He is really a sovereign God who cannot stand the sight of evil.  The truth is, as a people we chose evil over the goodness of God, and sometimes parents have to let their children see the error of their ways for themselves; He is patiently waiting -- still loving us all the while -- until we wise up.  Additionally, the fear, deceit, hedonism, and selfishness plaguing our society contrasts so sharply with the goodness of God, who wouldn't run toward Him?  The trials and losses of this life keep us on our knees, seeking answers from the One True God, the only One who can redeem us and rescue us!

That being said, I sometimes see this verse a little differently.  Last week was one of those weeks...

Let's begin with the picture perfect weather we had most of the week.  The dogs and I couldn't get enough of it.  Rich, blue skies over budding green trees and shrubs.  Petals falling before us as we walked like a pink and white ticker-tape parade.  Breezes blowing the musty, lingering remnants of winter out to sea.  Cottony white clouds floating easily overhead, tumbling like kittens before they dissolve into thin air.  Days like that just make my heart sing!  Very "Song of the South," I know, but it's true!

Then there was the trip to the mechanic.  A simple but fairly costly repair, paid for in cash!  Yes, cash.  God is Good!  I think that's a first for us -- saw the guy in the office rubbing one of the bills, I assumed he was testing for color-fastness.

Grocery shopping with Mom.  Always an adventure.  You never know when she's going to come out with a completely inappropriate remark like, "Is her hair real?"  No filter and no volume control.  But I have my mom... with me... in good health... and happy.

Tuesday I had lunch with a friend.  We had just seen each other a couple months ago for breakfast.  This, I have found (at least for me) is the secret to having lunch.  My job requires me to keep odd hours, and though I work part-time, my days outside of work are full of "other stuff."  When the time in which I've talked with friends grows too long, so do our lunches.  Before we know it, we've talked for three or more hours, I am grossly behind schedule, and what should have been an enjoyable afternoon has turned into me being late for bed, or not having gotten something done, and I am stressed.  This was "an enjoyable afternoon."

Wednesday -- different friend, same deal.

Later in the week, we got a new, FREE sidewalk!  Anyone who knows me knows how much I like free.  New and free are sublime!

Throughout the week I helped prepare food for a party a friend was throwing.  Pounds of potato salad, pasta salad, and meatballs came to life in my cozy, dilapidated kitchen.  Since, it seemed inspiration had decided to stick around, I took advantage and did some baking.  Like Martha Stewart and Snow White, all rolled into one disgustingly happy, content human being.

Then there was the very first visit from my new granddaughter, Olivia, and her mother, Shannon!  Although I was meeting my granddaughter for the very first time, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her mother!  How old do I sound when I call her "a great kid?"  I know, but she is; she is a great kid.  And as strange as it may be, I was looking forward to spending time with her.  I knew I would love Olivia, once I met her, once I spent a little (15 seconds) with her, but I know that I love Shannon.  Surely, those of you with children have that friend of your son's or daughter's that has stolen your heart -- one who pops into your mind the minute you start praying for your children, maybe even treats you better than your children!  I'm gushing; sickening, I know, but I have truly missed her.  I miss all my "children," and my children who are out and about, drying their wings and taking flight.  But it was a great visit, and I was so thankful to Shannon for allowing me back into her life, and allowing me to be a part of Olivia's.  And I was thankful to God -- for answered prayer, for the softening of hearts, for walking with me in the pain, and for His kindness -- the kindness that turns me toward Him!

It's the terrible times that have me crying out to my Jehovah Jireh, to get me through, to provide relief, to walk with me and teach me as we endure the adversity; but it's the weeks like this that cause me to proclaim His goodness, His faithfulness, His loving kindness, and His love!  I run to Him for more!  I long to spend time worshiping and magnifying His gracious and powerful name!  I spontaneously break out in song -- think "The Sound of Music," only in my head, not in the Dairy aisle at the Shoprite.  That He would bestow such peace, so many simple pleasures on me -- someone who has cursed Him, failed Him, rejected Him over and over -- is such a privilege and a wonder, that I cannot find the words! 

And we're back to that again.  Somehow, I don't think you're going to believe me on that one.

 

A Plague of Biblical Proportions!!!

It was a dark and stormy night -- well, not really, but don't the best stories start that way?  It was raining, but it was early morning, and no one but Bishop and I were stirring.  I sat down for a little quiet time.  And it was quiet -- almost.  Nothing but the ticking of the clock (for those of you born after 1995, that's what clocks used to do before all those little time displays on every household appliance drained your electricity at a rate of about $70 a year!) and the purring of the dog (yes, bullies do purr) and the soft buzzing of THAT INFERNAL MOSQUITO PLAGUING ME!  Now, the experts say that only the males buzz, and only the females bite, but who wants to take chances like that?  Well, it got me to thinking...

Whether you believe, or have even read any part of the Bible, unless you’ve spent your life living under Gibraltar, you know about THE plagues -- frogs, locusts, flies, blood, etc. 

In short, the hindstory is this:  God’s people moved to Egypt during a famine, in search of food.  Many years later God raised up Moses to take His people from that place to a land of promise, but the pharaoh in that day wasn’t about to let them slip away quietly in the night.  As intimidated as he was by the shear size of this nation, he was even more reluctant to relinquish his free labor; he considered slavery and selective extermination to be a much more practical solution.  God promised Moses that He would be right there beside him when Moses informed Pharaoh of the Israelites' departure.  He promised to do miracles among the Egyptians -- miracles so prodigious and consequential that Pharaoh would command the Israelites to leave his land. Needless to say, Moses was intimidated by such a monumental calling, so for his sake, and certainly Pharaoh’s as well God started out “small” -- a staff turned serpent.  As for Pharaoh, he was not impressed; he had a throng of magicians, mediums and soothsayers at his disposal.  They replicated the dramatic demonstration, and all was well -- as far as Pharaoh believed.  

Interesting thing about human nature, if it is familiar, if we can explain it, if we can in some fashion “tame” it, we can live with it.  It can eat us alive, but if we delude ourselves into thinking we have some control over it, we’ll put up with it.  Take addiction, for instance.  Most addicts know their whatever-it-is is killing them; they know they need to do something about it.  As long, however, as they can tell themselves it is an act of will and not of weakness, they will ride that lightning to their deaths. 

Pharaoh, though venerated by Egyptians, was woefully human.  If you know how this moment in history unfolds, you know that plagues came, promises were made, plagues left, and life under Pharaoh returned to business as usual.  What’s truly interesting to me, though, is the very first plague.  The Plague of Blood. 

The Bible says that the blood was everywhere!  Anything with water in it -- puddles, bowls, the Nile, Pharaoh’s fish bowl.  And the stench!  If you’ve ever lived by a creek, you know that after one of those summer rains when the water runs high, and the stuff on the creek bed gets all churned up, and the humidity reaches about  eighty percent -- well, you know.  Now imagine that same stench laced with the metallic, rotting smell of blood.  Whoa! 

But Pharaoh?  As long as his magicians could imitate it, could gain control over it, he was willing to let it ride.  They did, and he did.  Exodus 7:23 says, "Pharaoh returned to his palace and put the whole thing out of his mind."  Fish are dying, the water is so foul no one -- not even Pharaoh or his household -- can drink, or bathe, or water their animals, and he puts the whole thing out of his mind?!  Seven days pass and Pharaoh does nothing but rest in the comfort of knowing he has not been upstaged, that he too, wields power -- even to desolate -- and that makes it OK.

Control is an illusion -- at least for us.  We think we can control our habits; we think we can control how others treat us or how others "use" us; we think we can render ourselves impervious to harm -- bullies, or the bullies of disease, accidents, natural disasters.  Our society believes information and education are the answer to almost every disorder that plagues us.  If we can find out why this happens...If we can isolate the gene that...If we can legislate or design a way to protect...  None of us enjoys sickness or suffering, death and grief, but calling in our magicians to bring them into submission via science and enlightenment doesn't make them

go away.  The real plague is sin and the idolatry of self.

Pharaoh considered himself, at least, as good as God.  Eventually the unexpected, inexorable death of his beloved firstborn son rendered him helpless and pliable -- just where God, a great God, a perfect and loving God wants each of us, in order to give us His best.  Sure, in today's society we don't quit, we don't submit.  But when you give it all to a loving, faithful, omniscient and omnipotent God Who wants to make you and give you the very best, why attempt it in your own strength?

Hey, is that Nothing I hear?

What Are You Looking At?

For those unfamiliar with the account of the Israelites moving from Egypt, through the desert, to the Land of Promise, in the interest of time and space let's just say the gist is this:

God was leading His people from a dark past of bondage to a future of promise and freedom.  He chose the man, Moses to do this, and God, Himself actively remained with the Israelites in the form of a cloud by day, and a pillar of fire by night, guiding and protecting them. (Ex. 19ff)

Numbers 9:18 (NLT) says, " In this way, they traveled and camped at the Lord’s command wherever he told them to go. Then they remained in their camp as long as the cloud stayed over the Tabernacle."  So, the other day, just as I was wondering if life was ever going to move from "the holiday chaos" back to normal hum-drum, I was reading this passage.  "Oh, how nice would that be?!" I thought.  "A simple life...following the Lord's direction.  Quiet.  Still.  Waiting for His voice to lead.  So 'in tune' with Him and what He desires for me."

My second thought?  "What is so different from where I am (or should be) today?"  I wake up every morning and dress myself for the day.  If what I wear does not deliberately reflect who I am in Christ, whose fault is that?  I do my devotions.  If my mind wanders elsewhere, or I rush through, who is to blame?  I go to work.  Did the Israelite women not have children to tend? or meals to prepare?  If my workday is not intentionally laced with thoughts of my Lord, who is at fault?  My relationships...my decisions...my battles and victories, all begin and end with Him, IF I look up.  What role did God play in all this?  He was guiding, protecting, being.  "I AM", He says is His name.  He was no more present with His people in the wilderness than He is with His people today!

If the Israelites had paid that cloud no mind at all...?  If they'd closed their eyes, busied themselves, never looked up, or had pretended not to see -- maybe even thought, "I'll catch up; just let me finish this last batch of latkes" -- they'd be right where I tend to find myself some days.  Unintentional and unfed.  Distracted and displaced.  Dodging relationship and repose with each decision or commitment hastily made, without first looking up.

Wanted: DEAD

Acts 20:24 ~
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me —the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace."

In June 2009, I began Broken To Breathless.  I felt it was something God wanted me to do. I'm still not convinced He would have me abandon it, but several months ago the "inner voice" I've come to trust as the Holy Spirit within me said, "It's time to stop writing about this, and go out and live it." 

So, that's what I've been doing -- slowly stepping out of my comfort zone, reaching beyond my family and close friends, and walking without fear. My goal, Lord willing, is to share with you all my journey of obedience and my discovery of life. But just so you know, it begins with death.

The Lord blesses each of us; there is no doubt. As I walk through the woods on crisp fall mornings, or past dewy, manicured lawns in the spring, it occurs to me that all of this is a miracle. Genesis 3 tells us that because of mankind's sin, poverty, failure, death and decay were allowed to freely roam the earth; we chose that over relationship with a perfectly loving Father! Based on our choice, we should never even have the experience of love, or fragrant flowers, or vibrant colors, or the warmth of a child's hug. But God, in his infinite mercy and abundant grace has held the consequences of our choice in check and allowed us the pleasures of life amidst our preference for death! Somewhere along the line, may we become grateful for that; and if your experience is anything like mine, it begins like a spark inside your spirit and slowly grows to a raging fire -- one that cannot be contained, one that shines from the windows of your eyes and stokes the engine of your heart.

Three years ago, the blessings of family, and health, and happiness lit my spark -- the spark that led to Broken To Breathless. As I wrote, I searched the Scriptures for applicable verses, or to double-check my amateur theology; the pages of God's Word caught that spark and stoked a great fire. I loved studying the Bible! God's Word was with Scott and I as we returned to my home church, dealt with family situations, launched our own business in a terrible economy, tithed of our money and time to individuals and charities, and began experiencing a true evolution of faith. We share the Gospel of Jesus Christ whenever we can, but not just in words and not just within our own circle. The Gospel is living, and while it requires a certain amount of meditation and study -- hearts and minds, it requires arms and legs, hand and feet. The Gospel is hugging those to whom you never thought you'd speak. The Gospel is feeding those with whom you never thought you'd share your table. The Gospel is putting away all pretense, eliminating any preconceived notions, tearing down all walls, and dying to self -- becoming the arms and legs, hands and feet of Christ!