A Meat and Potatoes Kinda Gal

Jeremiah 15:16

¹⁶Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts.

“A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips,” my conscience sung to me as I popped the last of the cheesecake into my mouth.

“Why can’t vegetables taste like tiramisu, and hot fudge sundaes have fourteen calories?” I wondered.  No doubt our eight year old wonders that from time to time as well. 

Well, it’s not always easy to do the right thing, though the benefits are huge!  Just imagine what you would look like if you did eat nothing but hot fudge and cheesecake.  Eyuck!  Now, let’s slim things down a bit.  Envision yourself the picture of health, thriving on carrots and green beans; strong and bursting with energy on asparagus!  We are willing, after all, to punish our children when they refuse to do what’s best for them – vegetables included.

But what about what’s best for us as adults?  What’s best for us spiritually?

Last year I decided it was time; I was going to read the Bible in its entirety.  Having grown up in the church and attended Christian school, I was pretty confident I had at some point, read most of it.  Additionally, I was “pretty bored with the whole thing.” 

“In the beginning…”  Yeah, yeah, I know – bland, tasteless. 

So I decided to start off slow – one chapter a day.

Talk about thriving!  Talk about bursting with energy, fired up for Jesus, lean and mean with the Truth!  I read ten chapters daily.  I can’t get enough!  The benefits to my heart are unspeakable; my vision is better, brighter, clearer!  God’s Word is sweet to the taste!

“A moment just to start, a lifetime in my heart!”

Are You a Real Success?

As long as he sought the LORD, God gave him success. (2 Chronicles 26:5b)

How much more simply can this be said?

How is success generally measured in our society today? Riches? Fame? Looks? How intensely do we pursue success? What methods do we use to pursue it?

Seeking the Lord brings success. The success that comes from knowing all of your needs, forever, will be supplied. The success that comes from knowing, no matter what ills or trials befall you, there is none that can destroy you; Jesus is with you through them. The success that comes from knowing, your most valuable possessions are kept safe from moths, rust, thieves – in the treasuries of heaven. The success that comes from knowing, whatever it is you are trying to overcome – addiction, heartbreak, joblessness, a life seeming to spiral wildly out of control – success is yours for the taking. There is power in Jesus’ name.

When It's the Little Things that Make a Difference

I am blessed – beyond measure, beyond anything I could ever have imagined. As I walk the halls of my church, I realize what a privilege it is to be able to kiss my children at the door of the same Sunday School building where my parents kissed me. I utter the same parting words my parents said to me: “Behave yourself,” or “Have fun,” or “Learn as much as you can!” Bittersweet is moving through the crowd, looking into the aging faces of those who mentored me, befriended me, scolded me, even babysat me. I can almost hear the voices of Sunday School Teachers Past telling me to read my Bible, obey my parents, pray every day… “God loves you! You can talk to Him about anything!”

And so I did. Tests for which I hadn’t studied, lies I had told – I begged God to reverse the consequences of my sins. He was my good luck charm, helping me find things I’d misplaced or win game after game of Parcheesi (of course “re-rolling” when I thought my dad wasn’t looking didn't hurt).

My prayer life has matured since those days, but the fact still remains, I can talk to God about anything. 2 Kings 6:5 - 7. Typical day, cutting some wood; one of the guys takes a swing, and – PLUNK – the axe head lands straight in the river. I know that look – the one that says, “Are you serious?” Then the realization, “Aw, shucks! I borrowed that!” But Elisha knows just Who to call; God’s mighty hand lifts it to the surface to be retrieved by the borrower. Just another day in “Believer-ville.”

Not only was this an easy task for the One Who spoke the earth and stars into existence, but it was a simple mishap He was glad to fix. Just as a straightforward word from a friend, or an honest compliment, or a seemingly insignificant effort on the part of a spouse can brighten your entire day, God is not too big to do the same for His children, or too self-absorbed to know what something like that can mean to us.  God knows us.  He knows when we need a good throttling; He knows when it takes a whisper. He knows that sometimes it's as elementary as getting us off the hook for a borrowed axe that can change things around. No matter how big or how small, He wants to hear it from us.

Aaah, Family Gatherings (This is not fiction -- you couldn't make this stuff up)

My dad always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."  So, "The food was great."  Having said that...

Went to a family function about a week ago.  Having previously worked in the restaurant business, I know dim lights hide a multitude of sins -- food splattered on walls, dusty light fixtures, the reaction on people's faces when they have to do that fake air kiss thing with people they don't remotely care for, or don't really know.  In this place, I couldn't even see my feet -- PERFECT!

So, here we are, all smoochy-smoochied and settled in.  The children are slamming back Roy Rogers and Shirley Temples like Domino sugar had set up shop in the front parking lot.  It's a free-for-all in Minorville; Mom and Dad are so busy making nice with the natives, the kids are ordering Red Dye #2 with a side of outta-control.  One of the little nippers manages to inhale so much junk in so little time, Dad takes a call from Guiness Records right there at the table; the deal fades when said nipper empties his stomach contents onto the floor right in front of the salad bar.  But, there's still hope.  He's now squeezing lemons into his ice water, dumping in every sugar packet his little arms can reach, and slurping up what doesn't run down his shirt, with a spoon.  Maybe he can clinch some sort of record for projectile vomitting. 

Meanwhile, Uncle Warbucks in his $300 tracksuit begins to circle.  Since I'm on a roll here, allow me to take a moment to offend almost everyone: Tracksuits are for the track, and workout gear should only be worn by those who look like they've experienced at least one workout since high school.  Anyhoo, Perry Ellis here has just divorced Wife #Who's-Counting and he's staring down my sixteen year old.  He leans over to my husband and I to remark how beautiful she is.  OK, a compliment.  "Thank you."  Not that I had squat to do with it, mind you, but in an effort to be gracious...  But that's not enough.  No, why would it be?  This is a guy who thrives on lighting people up, ticking them off.  "You know, if I married your step-daughter I could be your son-in-law."  Oh, no he didn't!  "You could also be prosecuted," I say without blinking.  Scott says nothing, but to his credit -- Uncle Deliverance still has his face and his dental work in tact.

Ralph, the vomitting bambino is now swinging on a bar rail and dragging himself across the restaurant floor.  His brother is screaming and elbowing people in the bread bar line.  And I am worried whether my ladies have napkins on their laps?  Are you kidding me?

The irony in this whole thing, is my husband and I are considered somewhat freakish -- outcasts, because we don't want to associate with (read: endure) this kind of thing.  We don't think it's cute, funny, relaxing, or enjoyable in any way.  It's downright embarrassing.  But we are ignorant and thoughtless when we honestly voice our opinion and refuse to attend.  We are embarrassing.

Lucky for us, we have another function coming up in a couple of weeks.  Dare to hope that Ralph and Uncle Tom will be there?  It just won't be the same without 'em.  Cue banjo music...