This was a very relaxing weekend. My mother-in-law stayed with us for a couple of days; my mother joined us for lunch on Saturday and dinner, Sunday. With the exception of Christine, everyone was here. I had meals to cook and laundry to do; I washed my truck on Friday and got some writing done on Saturday. The house is, relatively, clean and the dogs will be going for their walk shortly. I spent time visiting with my family, enjoying some great meals, and even got to spend a couple of hours of "quality time" with my husband. I feel a sense of accomplishment -- something that is very important to me.
That's where "lazy weekends" come in. I know I really need to work on my priorities; I need to get less hung up on what I do or what I manage to complete. I know this because lazy weekends stress me out. Watching movie after movie or sitting for hours on end, leaves me with a sense of self-loathing and sloth. It does not rejuvenate me like crossing things off my "To-Do" list does. I wake up from my lethargy feeling as if the things I should have been doing are looming over me, waiting to be accomplished before I even begin the things that are on my agenda for the day. In "Judi-World," relaxing is being able to puff out my chest, pat myself of the back, and still keep my sanity. Not a very flattering picture.
When I try to see my home from an outsider's point of view, it doesn't look so bad; I know I can afford 24 hours of inactivity, but inwardly I yearn for perfection. I tell myself that if I can "just get these things done, I can sit and enjoy myself." I crave the thrill of sitting in a spotless, fresh home, "Better Homes and Gardens" style, and knowing that my work is done and I have "all the time in the world to just relax". I know the important things in life cannot be measured by the amount of Clorox wipes I use or whether I have the ingredients for Osso Bucco. I know the pressure I put on myself is not only uncalled-for, but ridiculous.
I have wondered whether this compulsion stems from my upbringing -- should I blame my mother? or is it years of private school -- being taught to work before play? Perhaps I can attribute it to some genetic strain that causes unnecessary neurosis when windows are streaked. Or, maybe I can just add feeding pigeons in the park or sitting quietly by a waterfall to my "To-Do" list!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Hitchin' a Ride on the Express
I am a local legend. Well, local in the sense that those who live at my address know my reputation for being frugal (they call it "cheap" and even crack wise regarding my name and my reluctance to save a dime -- you figure it out). Anyhoo, every Friday morning I pour over internet ads to find the best sales, and plan most of my menu for the week around bargains. Now, I know people are making ridiculous money on books and blogs about this kind of behavior, but I have been doing this since the days when "blog" could have been some sort of derogatory term about one's mother. Because I missed the gravy train on that one, let me be the first to expound on the "Benefits of Obeying the 'Fifteen Items or Less' Sign."
First, let's discuss the meaning of "Fifteen Items or Less." Fifteen, it's the number after "a fortnight," and the number before the birthday that every teen in sneakers longs to observe. It is two more than a baker's dozen and two less than the age at which my child no longer qualifies as a tax credit. Now, some people feel as though this is a very subjective "fifteen," as if fifteen has multiple definitions, or there is "fifteen EST and fifteen Central." Some use the interpretation, "If I have multiples of one item, it only counts as one." Let me be the first to say that "Fifteen is fifteen." If I owed you $15, would you accept $14 or $13? Or, if the price of one of those items was $15, would you pay $18 or $19? I reiterate, "fifteen is fifteen."
Second, let's discuss some of the benefits of the "Fifteen Items or Less" line:
A) Speedy Checkout. I think some stores still use this term in relation to the "Fifteen Item or Less" rule, and the premise is that the folks standing in the "Fifteen Item or Less" line do, indeed have fifteen items or less, and are therefore "with" the program. They are interested in checking out at the speed of light. They are not going to write a check and leave their check cashing card at home. They are not going to dispute the price on each item, or ask the cashier for a subtotal every third item. And they DO NOT have an entire cart full of canned tomatoes at the Can-Can Sale which they believe constitute one item! But, I digress. The word here, Boys and Girls, is "speedy," let's make it happen.
B) Seasoned Cashiers. Many of the markets I frequent have the Customer Service Counter strategically positioned near the "Fifteen Item or Less" line in order to make the most of their head cashiers or customer service people. These are the employees that either have been with the company longer than the Ranch dressing in aisle sixteen, or have more brain cells than the guy bagging my eggs under the four industrial-sized cans of yams I just purchased. These are people who can, presumably, multi-task. They can, quite possibly, adapt if you decide once your change has been calculated, that you have the 3 cents in your pocket that will keep your change to a minimum, as opposed to the store putting a call to the Denver mint.
C) The Proper Tools for the Job. Have you ever noticed that some registers have shorter belts, smaller bagging areas, and only the cashier to bag orders? There could be a reason for this. Perhaps, fifteen items do not require two and a half miles of landing strip on which to place items. (When wrestling with the concept of "fifteen," the length of the belt might be a tip-off.) The bagging area is usaually designed so that the talented, multi-tasking individual known as the cashier can ring "smaller-sized" orders, bag "smaller-sized" orders, and offer a level of service designed for the individual "just picking up a few things."
D) Public Safety. One of the key benefits of the "Fifteen Items or Less" line is public safety. I cannot say enough about this. Have you ever witnessed an angry mob at the Deli? It starts with #47, shifting from one foot to the other. Then, #52 mumbles a complaint about the three people being waited on who, apparently, are buying cold cuts for a small country. Instantly, #39 pipes up, "I'm only here for a pound of cheese." And that's when it gets ugly. #26 turns beet red as she orders her last pound of chipped dried beef; #25 nervously squeaks, "No, never mind, that's everything." #27, with all eyes upon her, brazenly orders the remaining ingredients for myocardial infarction and shakes off the crowd's indignation. The tension in the air is more palatable than the Limburger, and you can just sense that someone's getting jumped in Organic Produce. "Fifteen Items or Less" is a convenience and a key safety measure -- let's see it for what it is, and resist the temptation to abuse it!
In summation, I hope I have been helpful and my advice, perhaps, revolutionary. Oh, and don't forget to buy my book, coming out in early spring, tentatively titled "Confessions of an Express Lane Prodigal," or "Express Lanes for Dummies."
First, let's discuss the meaning of "Fifteen Items or Less." Fifteen, it's the number after "a fortnight," and the number before the birthday that every teen in sneakers longs to observe. It is two more than a baker's dozen and two less than the age at which my child no longer qualifies as a tax credit. Now, some people feel as though this is a very subjective "fifteen," as if fifteen has multiple definitions, or there is "fifteen EST and fifteen Central." Some use the interpretation, "If I have multiples of one item, it only counts as one." Let me be the first to say that "Fifteen is fifteen." If I owed you $15, would you accept $14 or $13? Or, if the price of one of those items was $15, would you pay $18 or $19? I reiterate, "fifteen is fifteen."
Second, let's discuss some of the benefits of the "Fifteen Items or Less" line:
A) Speedy Checkout. I think some stores still use this term in relation to the "Fifteen Item or Less" rule, and the premise is that the folks standing in the "Fifteen Item or Less" line do, indeed have fifteen items or less, and are therefore "with" the program. They are interested in checking out at the speed of light. They are not going to write a check and leave their check cashing card at home. They are not going to dispute the price on each item, or ask the cashier for a subtotal every third item. And they DO NOT have an entire cart full of canned tomatoes at the Can-Can Sale which they believe constitute one item! But, I digress. The word here, Boys and Girls, is "speedy," let's make it happen.
B) Seasoned Cashiers. Many of the markets I frequent have the Customer Service Counter strategically positioned near the "Fifteen Item or Less" line in order to make the most of their head cashiers or customer service people. These are the employees that either have been with the company longer than the Ranch dressing in aisle sixteen, or have more brain cells than the guy bagging my eggs under the four industrial-sized cans of yams I just purchased. These are people who can, presumably, multi-task. They can, quite possibly, adapt if you decide once your change has been calculated, that you have the 3 cents in your pocket that will keep your change to a minimum, as opposed to the store putting a call to the Denver mint.
C) The Proper Tools for the Job. Have you ever noticed that some registers have shorter belts, smaller bagging areas, and only the cashier to bag orders? There could be a reason for this. Perhaps, fifteen items do not require two and a half miles of landing strip on which to place items. (When wrestling with the concept of "fifteen," the length of the belt might be a tip-off.) The bagging area is usaually designed so that the talented, multi-tasking individual known as the cashier can ring "smaller-sized" orders, bag "smaller-sized" orders, and offer a level of service designed for the individual "just picking up a few things."
D) Public Safety. One of the key benefits of the "Fifteen Items or Less" line is public safety. I cannot say enough about this. Have you ever witnessed an angry mob at the Deli? It starts with #47, shifting from one foot to the other. Then, #52 mumbles a complaint about the three people being waited on who, apparently, are buying cold cuts for a small country. Instantly, #39 pipes up, "I'm only here for a pound of cheese." And that's when it gets ugly. #26 turns beet red as she orders her last pound of chipped dried beef; #25 nervously squeaks, "No, never mind, that's everything." #27, with all eyes upon her, brazenly orders the remaining ingredients for myocardial infarction and shakes off the crowd's indignation. The tension in the air is more palatable than the Limburger, and you can just sense that someone's getting jumped in Organic Produce. "Fifteen Items or Less" is a convenience and a key safety measure -- let's see it for what it is, and resist the temptation to abuse it!
In summation, I hope I have been helpful and my advice, perhaps, revolutionary. Oh, and don't forget to buy my book, coming out in early spring, tentatively titled "Confessions of an Express Lane Prodigal," or "Express Lanes for Dummies."
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Putting Away the Cheetos and the Self-Pity
I want to begin by saying, I in no way compare myself to Our Heavenly Father! But, sometimes the lessons He teaches us about who He is and who we can be, hit very close to home. Having said that...
Steven had a preliminary trial on Thursday morning. I left the courtroom so enraged, disappointed, and bewildered, my first instinct was to come home and write a Letter to the Editor. Or a book. Or an entry for this blog. Something, just write something. Purge. I crawled into bed and stayed there until yesterday morning. I didn't speak of it. I didn't think of it.
One of the issues I had been wrestling with, was the issue of "losing my son." I was told nothing. The people who were supposed to be supporting me, communicating with me -- failed me. The "other side," no doubt was laughing at me. And my son was gone. I don't know if he is incarcerated. I don't know if he is homeless or hurting, or seeking to get in touch with "the victim" in this case. I don't know, but here is a child -- my child -- who made me construction paper valentines, held my hand as we drove along in the car, kissed me "goodbye" as I dropped him off to work, who has thumbed his nose at everything I tried to teach him, and I can't even reach out to him.
This morning, I saw the picture that God had painted for me in my sadness: "There is nothing new under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9) Now, the author of this poem had found all that humanity contrived was pointless, vain , and "old hat." Today's "New Age" religions are just ancient ideas recycled by humanity; most writing is just a new twist on an old tale. And while we can read Ecclesiastes and feel disappointment and contempt for the things of this world, we can rejoice for the victory we receive at the hands of Our Father in Heaven. We can delight in the fact that He is not "of our world." Do you think my situation is the first of its kind? Do you think the feelings evoked have never been felt? I don't think I need to mention that my very own Father knows the grief of losing a son. I'm pretty sure He did not crack open a bag of Cheetos and watch back-to-back episodes of "Law and Order." And the children who have turned their backs on Him?
I am not alone, have never been alone, will never be alone! I have been betrayed by man's system and man's actions. Nothing new; been going on for thousands of years. But God? God is faithful, God is in control, and the one I always seem to forget... God is love.
Steven had a preliminary trial on Thursday morning. I left the courtroom so enraged, disappointed, and bewildered, my first instinct was to come home and write a Letter to the Editor. Or a book. Or an entry for this blog. Something, just write something. Purge. I crawled into bed and stayed there until yesterday morning. I didn't speak of it. I didn't think of it.
One of the issues I had been wrestling with, was the issue of "losing my son." I was told nothing. The people who were supposed to be supporting me, communicating with me -- failed me. The "other side," no doubt was laughing at me. And my son was gone. I don't know if he is incarcerated. I don't know if he is homeless or hurting, or seeking to get in touch with "the victim" in this case. I don't know, but here is a child -- my child -- who made me construction paper valentines, held my hand as we drove along in the car, kissed me "goodbye" as I dropped him off to work, who has thumbed his nose at everything I tried to teach him, and I can't even reach out to him.
This morning, I saw the picture that God had painted for me in my sadness: "There is nothing new under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9) Now, the author of this poem had found all that humanity contrived was pointless, vain , and "old hat." Today's "New Age" religions are just ancient ideas recycled by humanity; most writing is just a new twist on an old tale. And while we can read Ecclesiastes and feel disappointment and contempt for the things of this world, we can rejoice for the victory we receive at the hands of Our Father in Heaven. We can delight in the fact that He is not "of our world." Do you think my situation is the first of its kind? Do you think the feelings evoked have never been felt? I don't think I need to mention that my very own Father knows the grief of losing a son. I'm pretty sure He did not crack open a bag of Cheetos and watch back-to-back episodes of "Law and Order." And the children who have turned their backs on Him?
I am not alone, have never been alone, will never be alone! I have been betrayed by man's system and man's actions. Nothing new; been going on for thousands of years. But God? God is faithful, God is in control, and the one I always seem to forget... God is love.
Monday, January 11, 2010
God World I
I am religious about donating blood, so I was thrilled to find a drive at The Franklin Institute last Tuesday, eight weeks after my last donation. This one came with a really cool incentive -- a ticket to Body World 2 for donors. It just so happens Christine is taking high school Biology and Scott had missed the exhibit the last time around -- Perfect! Tickets are costly, but well worth it; one free ticket would defray the cost for the three of us substantially.
Well, it worked -- I donated, and after putting in my obligatory time at the canteen (the part I hate the most -- sitting still, doing nothing "for no good reason") we got our tickets and went in. We slowly visited each model, staring open-mouthed at numerous examples of the Artist's handiwork -- the Artist being Our Heavenly Father. The man hailed as the artist by the exhibit is Gunther von Hagens, and as far as I can see, he is more the messenger. He has taken the wonders of God's creation and used them to proclaim God's imagination, His sheer genius and His deep love for mankind. Gunther von Hagens, sometimes heretofore referred to as "The Messenger" takes the bodies of donors and, through a process called Plastination which he developed, preserves them for us to study, admire and stared at, open-mouthed. The Messenger's work truly is amazing. He arranges the bodies in a multitude of activities we, the living, enjoy daily without giving much thought to them. He preserves cross-sections and individual bone, organ, and nerve specimens. He cuts away areas of entire bodies to show us the multitude of layers that make up our bodies. The Messenger gives, as Christine pointed out, each work of art a new identity, renaming them according to the activities in which they are today "engaged" or the qualities von Hagens has given them. There is "The Skateboarder," "The Ponderer," (a take-off from Rodin's "The Thinker") and "The Drawer Man," an amazing full-body model in which von Hagens has cut cross-sections and replaced them back into the model, "Dali-style". In "The Exploding Man" von Hagens has suspended components of the human body within inches of each other, allowing us to see each item from all angles, but appearing as if they could all just collapse together like a completed jigsaw puzzle.
The website for Body World says the purpose of the exhibit is health education, strictly utilitarian in purpose. However, the message for those who know the True Artist is unequivocally clear. When gazing at these works of art, one can't help but admire The Artist. Some reviews of the exhibit have questioned the audacity of The Messenger in calling himself an artist, and by definition, I must as well. The Messenger has definitely done something amazing, he has obviously put his own perspective into each exhibit, and there appears to be a sense of "ownership" and care with which he has completed his work, but artist? The Artist here is most definitely the One who lovingly, intricately designed each and every one of us. In this exhibit we are able to see the physical elements of God's handiwork, and it is absolutley breathtaking. We are able to see the heart that beats inside each one of us, the blood that gives each one of us life, the organs that work to nourish us and move us, the bones that protect some of our most valuable possessions -- all of the things that make us unique to other lifeforms but alike unto ourselves. There is certainly artwork here, but it is God's.
As for von Hagens' role? I can only thank and praise God for that as well. Whether The Messenger knows it or not, he is God's messenger. Whether it is his desire or not, God uses him to testify to The Artist's stunning creativity. Whether The Messenger's purposes were simple or not, God's purposes are always larger. God has used some of the most heinous, hideous and unspeakable acts to bring glory to His name, He can certainly use the curiousities and talent of one man. We are not always part of the team, but in God's World we are always part of The Plan!
Well, it worked -- I donated, and after putting in my obligatory time at the canteen (the part I hate the most -- sitting still, doing nothing "for no good reason") we got our tickets and went in. We slowly visited each model, staring open-mouthed at numerous examples of the Artist's handiwork -- the Artist being Our Heavenly Father. The man hailed as the artist by the exhibit is Gunther von Hagens, and as far as I can see, he is more the messenger. He has taken the wonders of God's creation and used them to proclaim God's imagination, His sheer genius and His deep love for mankind. Gunther von Hagens, sometimes heretofore referred to as "The Messenger" takes the bodies of donors and, through a process called Plastination which he developed, preserves them for us to study, admire and stared at, open-mouthed. The Messenger's work truly is amazing. He arranges the bodies in a multitude of activities we, the living, enjoy daily without giving much thought to them. He preserves cross-sections and individual bone, organ, and nerve specimens. He cuts away areas of entire bodies to show us the multitude of layers that make up our bodies. The Messenger gives, as Christine pointed out, each work of art a new identity, renaming them according to the activities in which they are today "engaged" or the qualities von Hagens has given them. There is "The Skateboarder," "The Ponderer," (a take-off from Rodin's "The Thinker") and "The Drawer Man," an amazing full-body model in which von Hagens has cut cross-sections and replaced them back into the model, "Dali-style". In "The Exploding Man" von Hagens has suspended components of the human body within inches of each other, allowing us to see each item from all angles, but appearing as if they could all just collapse together like a completed jigsaw puzzle.
The website for Body World says the purpose of the exhibit is health education, strictly utilitarian in purpose. However, the message for those who know the True Artist is unequivocally clear. When gazing at these works of art, one can't help but admire The Artist. Some reviews of the exhibit have questioned the audacity of The Messenger in calling himself an artist, and by definition, I must as well. The Messenger has definitely done something amazing, he has obviously put his own perspective into each exhibit, and there appears to be a sense of "ownership" and care with which he has completed his work, but artist? The Artist here is most definitely the One who lovingly, intricately designed each and every one of us. In this exhibit we are able to see the physical elements of God's handiwork, and it is absolutley breathtaking. We are able to see the heart that beats inside each one of us, the blood that gives each one of us life, the organs that work to nourish us and move us, the bones that protect some of our most valuable possessions -- all of the things that make us unique to other lifeforms but alike unto ourselves. There is certainly artwork here, but it is God's.
As for von Hagens' role? I can only thank and praise God for that as well. Whether The Messenger knows it or not, he is God's messenger. Whether it is his desire or not, God uses him to testify to The Artist's stunning creativity. Whether The Messenger's purposes were simple or not, God's purposes are always larger. God has used some of the most heinous, hideous and unspeakable acts to bring glory to His name, He can certainly use the curiousities and talent of one man. We are not always part of the team, but in God's World we are always part of The Plan!
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