Midweek: Step Nine

The small girl started and moved away. Another little child at the park was trying --more like insisting --to show her love. The child's advances, no matter how well intended, were unwelcome. There was hurt.

We have completed, to the best of our current ability, our list in Step Eight:

I made a list of all persons I had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step Nine in Walking the Twelve Steps with Jesus Christ, requires us to take that list and our willingness to make amends, and follow through:

I made direct amends to such persons whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

First of all, what sort of things might this making of amends include? Well, the scriptural basis given in the text is Matthew 5:23-24:

Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Reconciliation. Another translation says to make peace. Now, reconcile is one of my favorite concepts in Scripture. 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 tells us that Christ reconciled us to God through the sacrifice of His own body and blood on the cross. He brought us --humanity separated by sin and made enemies of God --brought back into friendship with God, back into harmony with our Creator. And not only friendship, but kinship! We are, through Christ, made sons and daughters of God and heirs to the glorious inheritance He has reserved for us! And, as friends, children, and heirs of God, we are given the ministry of reconciliation to all of mankind. Not that everyone we approach with the good news of reconciliation will respond in a positive way, but that we would do our best to humbly, lovingly, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, reach out and make known to them the reconciliation that is available to them.

So, reconciliation, perfect reconciliation, when wholeheartedly embraced, results in a oneness, a kinship; the elimination of any discrepancies (according to a definition from the 1500s). Making amends takes those who were apart and reunites them to like-mindedness and peace. A simple apology that restores the peace. Returning money or goods that were the cause of discrepancy. The act of paying back with toil or kindness any additional labor or aggravation that was caused by one party's behavior. 

Secondly, making amends has to be wanted. It must be the desire of both parties and the way it is manifested must be agreeable to both parties. Placing undue burden on either person is wrong; fairness and justice are foundational in relationships. Forcing an apology on one unwilling to accept it is wrong. The expectation one's apology will or should be accepted is wrong. Making amends requires both parties to be on board in order for healing to take place and to be sure no further hurt is inflicted.

Back to the children at the start of our reading. The heart of one child was to make eye contact, to speak, to hug even. Innocent and beautiful. But the heart of the other --albeit because of hurt or fear or simply a desire to be alone --was not to receive it. Neither one was necessarily in the wrong or lacking in any way, but the messages received by another's refusal to accept reconciliation can be cause for further offense. When we attempt amends, it is vital to understand the world is not on our journey, nor is it obligated to partake. This is a journey between us and our "higher power," Jesus Christ. He is taking us where we need to go, for our good and His glory. Where others choose to fall in this tableau --if they choose to be present at all --is entirely up to them. All we can do is, once again, humbly, lovingly, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, reach out and make known to them the reconciliation that is available to them. The reconciliation we offer as fellow human beings, and the reconciliation of mankind to our King.