We Need One Another

As our youngest searched for someone to help us retrieve patio cushions perched on top of a huge box on the very top shelf, my vertically advantaged husband was scaling the miles-high racks of the home store. By the time the associate arrived, my mighty hunter had already procured the cushions. Scott --chest out, feeling pretty satisfied, I'm sure --turned the employee away; but he'd barely returned to parade rest when I began placing the hard-won cushions on a lower shelf. A confused look morphed into full-on dismay when I wheeled our cart toward "the prettier ones" a few aisles away. "Don't get married," he teased a young couple walking past. 

My husband and I will be married eighteen years, and it's been an adventure. A lot has changed over those years, and we have certainly changed from who we were when we first met. What has always remained, in good times and bad, is our love for one another and our commitment to this relationship. What began as exploring interesting quirks, laughing over similarities, hearing those stories for the first time, has become familiar, sometimes irritating, but a part of life and a part of who we are as a couple and as individuals. We don't always feel in love --that can be difficult on our best days --but that "piece of paper" everyone poo-poos, that covenant with God, that name-taking oneness... It never changes. We are one. And our love for one another remains constant.

As Mother's Day approaches, however, I'm thinking of other relationships as well; my relationships with our children. I've struggled with parenting. As a young mother, I was hopelessly in love with my children. I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to them. I enjoyed every moment with them. That is, until they threatened independence. Their rebellion was to me a personal threat, a commentary on my failure as a parent. I found myself in a constant state of grief and worry; so much so, I further alienated them with my insecurities.

When my husband and I met, combining his children with mine, I'd matured quite a bit. I imagined an idyllic life with a raucous, laughing brood. It wasn't. We had more than our share of wonderful days, but difficulty and tension always lurked. Children leaving. Adolescents changing. Exes to consider. It all amounted to trips we never took, cookies we never baked, days that never came to fruition. Always because "someone spoiled it." Often that someone was me. So much unfinished business.

And here we are in this season. Not the usual season for folks of our age. And I still find myself struggling. You'd think, by now, I'd be more at ease. But every child is different, right? How do I know what is best for this one? And our adult children are in different seasons. How do I let them be adults without giving them the impression I don't care? And there are grandchildren to love. How to be close without being overbearing? And our marriage is in a different season. Can we please just get a moment ALONE??? And I say all this to say, BUT GOD.

He is for His children, not against them (Psalm 56:9). He will never leave us our abandon us (Hebrews 13:5-6). He loves us with an everlasting love (John 3:16). He is faithful (2 Thessalonians 3:3). And He has given us brothers and sister in Christ to lift us in prayer and encourage us in the way (Galatians 6:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:11). We are not alone in heaven or on earth. We are not alone as husbands and wives or as parents. As believers in Jesus, we run this race together; we are given to one another in community, as members of the body of Christ. We are compelled and commanded to love and lift one another; to pray, pray without ceasing for each other! And the peace of God will guard your heart and mind against fear, against doubt, against those temptations that would destroy your marriage, against the grief over your children gaining independence, against the pain and bitterness of blended families, against anything that would come against you gaining glory for God through your choices!

So, I welcome your prayers. And I'm happy to pray for you as well (Just drop me an email or add a comment). We need one another. For prayer, for words of encouragement, for tears turned to laughter, for sharing one another's burdens, and for those cushions waaaay up there on the top shelf!