A Vision of An "Us"

More than twenty years ago, my husband and I had our first date. Only it wasn't "a date." Scott and I were working together, talking as coworkers do, but were by no means friends. Our lives were pretty full without romantic relationships, and we'd already proven we weren't quite good at those. I refused to date. Anyone. But Scott wanted to go to the movies. "I can't just go to the movies and sit by myself," he explained. "Couldn't we just go as friends?" I acquiesced, but the closer we got to the weekend, the more he referred to our little outing as "a date." I was beginning to feel manipulated. So, I canceled. Last minute. His irritation with me came across as indifference (I'm sure he intended it to), and I was offended. If anyone was going to care less, it was going to be me; after all, he started this! I suggested we go out for a bite to eat. I donned my hardened attitude, ratty jeans and flip-flops. Scott appeared in what I've always referred to as his "Hawaiian Boy" outfit: pressed linen shorts, a casual button-down shirt, and loafers. To the point, I was prepared to withstand, even repel; Scott dressed to draw me in. He had a vision of an "us."

I tell you this because I see how closely this anecdote mirrors the relationship some of us have with the Lord at times. He calls us, He woos us; He has a vision of an "us." Instead, we fill our every moment with busyness and nonsense the minute the Holy Spirit begins to unsettle our spirits. I don't have time today; I'll talk to You tomorrow! How do You expect me to serve when no one else will? We don our hardened attitudes and tell ourselves He can't possibly be speaking to us; He can't possibly use us. We believe all He can offer us is a life of denial and discipline, a life that can't possibly bring us happiness. Some of us might even immerse ourselves further and further into those things we know are sin just so we don't have to try again: I know what I'm dealing with when it comes to addiction, but I can't even imagine what sobriety would be like for me. 

Don't get me wrong, God is not some sad milquetoast of a deity that sits in His heaven, wringing His hands over those who rebel. He pursues those that are His with a passion. Sometimes He turns up the heat: the rent gets raised, a son rebels, test results are unfavorable --all that we might seek Him for His kindness. Sometimes He lavishes us with His love, drawing us to seek his face in gratitude. Sometimes He stands back for a bit and allows us to see for ourselves just how huge the mistake we are making. As set as we may think we are in our ways, the God who does not change is far more established in His --from eternity to eternity. And His ways are right. His ways are true. His ways are forged in perfect love and justice. Even when we don't quite understand what He's doing, He is trustworthy and faithful. He never stops working our circumstances toward the fulfilling of His plans.

Scott and I had different ideas about our relationship all those years ago. In some ways, we still do. But we are one, and as such, our objective is for the good of the "us" and the glory of God. We are human, however, and at times our personal agendas and our egos get in the way of that. It is bearing in mind that what is good for both of us is what is best for each of us, that keeps us from repeating past mistakes. It is trusting the other's desire to become more like Jesus and, in so doing, drawing together as we aim for the same point, that adds strength to our relationship. What another wonderful picture of our relationship with God! He knows what is best for us; He knows us intimately. We have only to trust Him in all He calls us to do. And it is our desire to be more like Him --the desire He gives us and stokes in us by His Holy Spirit --when we seek no other kingdom but His, that strengthens us to go even further, seek more zealously, give more, and be more like Him.

Were we doing our relationship right twenty+ years ago? Not at all. There was clearly a power struggle going on. And still can be on occasion. But as we enter new seasons in our relationship --some good, some just plain demanding --we decide to do what is best for the "us" and brings glory to God. And we do it with as much love and grace as God will give us. Because this is a picture, a fuzzy, incomplete, insufficient picture of His children; each one of us in ratty jeans and with hard hearts, being swept off our feet by a God who has a bigger, better vision than anything we can imagine.  

Why?

I saw a new doctor recently. It was sort of important that I see him. But my original appointment, scheduled back in August had to be cancelled because of a miscommunication in the doctor's office. The next available appointment was April 2026. Now, that might not seem so long in light of the fact it is now 2026, but in August of 2025, when I got the notice my appointment needed to be rescheduled and given the somewhat urgent nature of the appointment, it might as well have been a lifetime. But God. In the autumn, I got a notification that an appointment had opened up in December; did I want it? Did I want it?! Do rabbits run? Of course I wanted it! And there was an added bonus: the appointment would be free because, once again, the Murphys had met their out-of-pocket maximum for the year 2025. Thank You, Jesus! Quite a gift that was.

The morning of my appointment, I was meditating on Psalm 51. Scholars believe this was the psalm David wrote after being convicted of his adultery with Bathsheba and his murderous orders with regard to Uriah. In the Complete Jewish Bible, the passage begins:

God, in your grace, have mercy on me;
in your great compassion, blot out my crimes.
Wash me completely from my guilt,
and cleanse me from my sin.

David continues to plead for restoration and forgiveness. Wash me. Renew me. Blot out my crimes. But for what purpose? Because he is deserving of forgiveness? Certainly not. Because he and God are tight like that? Not even because of that. Verse 15 provides us with an eternal purpose for God's forgiveness and mercy:

Then I will teach the wicked your ways,
and sinners will return to you.

Do this, Lord God, so that I might share Your character, Your might, Your holiness with others, and that they might come to know You and serve You.

I'm sure you've heard of people praying those "foxhole prayers." Maybe you've prayed one or two yourself. God, if You get me out of this I will... That's manipulation. That's an attempt to bargain with an infinite, almighty God. However, what David is saying is, "I see the purpose behind Your mercy --if You indeed grant me mercy. The gift of Your salvation, Your restoration is not without an eternal objective." David sees this as a cause for public celebration, an opportunity to exalt the name of his Savior, and bring others to know the magnificent, benevolent character of the God of Israel.

As we, on this New Year's Day, begin to contemplate goals --those attained and those abandoned in 2025, those we've set for 2026 --maybe one of our goals should be to look beyond the gift, to seek the purpose for each gift our Heavenly Father lavishes on us. Maybe there is something we are to be doing with the gift He gives. Did He save us to keep the Good News to ourselves? Maybe He is providing us with some gift we will need to share with someone this upcoming year. Maybe He is equipping us for a future calling. Maybe we will never know until we see Him face-to-face. But it certainly doesn't hurt to ask Him why. Why did He bless me with an early appointment? a free appointment?! on a day when many offices were closed and there was plenty of parking?!! Why this gift? Why now? What will You have me do with this gift? All for Your glory and fame!