Waiting Is a Place

Two years ago yesterday, I got that for which I'd been waiting, that for which I'd been praying. So many days I'd prayed for God to take my mother home with Him while she slept quietly in our home, safe and warm and content. So many days I waited, after she became ill and was admitted to the hospital, for God to take her home or heal her. But on that Thursday morning, as I was praying whether to go to Bible study or whether to sit at the hospital with her, the call I received brought was the answer. Mom was no longer waiting, and neither was I. The days that passed before that call were bittersweet. Some were spent with family close by, and some were spent --just Mom and I --in the presence of our Lord. I sang to her, quoted Scripture to her, wrote quietly by her bedside. It was my aim to make her time in the hospital --however she would leave that place --as peaceful and comfortable as possible. And to make the time I spent with her as memorable as possible. Because waiting can be difficult.

Waiting is something that goes against our nature. Glance around any train station or waiting room and you will find people "passing the time." They stare blankly at a television, catch up on emails through their phones, and in rare cases still rustle the pages of printed publications. Anything on earth to distract them from the silence and uncertainty waiting can be. But time is such a precious commodity, why on earth would we want to pass it? Why do we resist the idea that waiting is part of our existence? Why can't we appreciate the minutes of rest we are offered while standing in line at a box office? or the twisted nuance of having a paper cup full of terrible coffee and chatting with an interesting someone at the service station? Life is composed of the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's all part of being on this planet. Yet, we have accepted the belief that waiting is of no use. It is neither here nor there, we say; just a nothingness that exists between the two, an in-between place. Dare I call it a place? Does it deserve that distinction? It is neither a win we can celebrate, nor a loss we can commiserate. We are waiting. Waiting to be healed or to be married or to be a dad. We are waiting for a loved one to transition to heaven. We are waiting for employment or for the adoption to be finalized --waiting to "get on with life," we gripe. But this is life. Why don't we get on with it now? in this space? as it is? Why must we have some label attached to our circumstances in order to be present and grateful in them? This may be an unanswered, in-between space in life, but it is life, nonetheless.

Waiting is still an activity. In between is still a place. Could our reluctance to accept this be why so many of us find it difficult to wait on the Lord? What does that even mean? It is to know with absolute confidence that, just as the morning sun rests --but only for a moment --right outside the door of night, morning will come, and the sovereign God who created all time is present with us in our waiting. It is to hear the chirp of tenacious crickets, so absorbed in their work, that the sleepy coo of mourning doves does not silence their symphony, and to be about the work we are given, to praise and bring glory to our King no matter what the time. It is to feel the warm glow of day holding promise and possibility just at my shoulders but trust the revelation is delayed until the best time; to sit with expectation in the grey cloak of whatever dawn and know that God's promises given to me are in His time, according to His good plan and will be revealed in an unmatched gloriousness for all of eternity!

Those days I spent waiting for my mother to be relieved of her suffering were some of the best and most profitable. As I sat there in silence or with family gathered, I grew more in love with her, more hopeful of what was to come, and more trusting of my Father who would work it all out for His glory and my good. I was graciously given a hope of something more real than anything in this life and well worth waiting for!