I'd like to bring this series on adoption and its lessons, to a close. Obviously, we are still learning and growing; there are many other lessons I've not mentioned here. But all of life is a learning process, whether you are led to foster or adopt, whether you are parenting adult children or watching your babies raise theirs. Maybe you're getting the message to move when "the timing just couldn't be worse," or going through a season of intense physical pain. We are made to grow, and grow into the people God designed us to be --absent our sin nature thoroughly rotted by its deceptive desires. Justin Whitmel Earley, author of Habits of the Household, says:
In a very real sense, parenting is one long process of revealing who you are. And usually that is not pretty.
Perhaps it’s a one-year-old who won’t sleep. Or maybe it’s a pre-teen who talks back constantly, a five-year-old who is still wetting the bed, a third-grader who just doesn’t listen, or a toddler who has constant tantrums. Whatever it is, usually, there is a fundamental reason it drives us insane as parents — we cannot control it. We like being in control, and now we’re not. And the seething anger or crippling self-pity we’ve spent our lives hiding begins to be exposed.
This is important because what is being exposed is not your bad reaction to the situation — what is being exposed is you. The difficulty of parenting has torn us open, and we don’t really like the heart we see inside ourselves.
Ouch! God is not threatened by our disobedience. He does not wring His hands or angrily demand control of His children. He knows who He is even when we do not. And He compassionately remembers we are dust. It is His goodness throughout the situations we handle poorly that leads us back to Him. Father, forgive me. Show me how to correct the damage, if possible, and help me do things right the next time this situation presents itself. Isn't that the heart we want to see in our children? Humility, bold faith, unquestioning obedience, responsibility, compassion for others, growth.
But parenting as God parents is not easy for us. We are growing as our children grow, erring as our children err. That's why we need a great cloud of witnesses. These people, mentioned in Hebrews 11 (otherwise known as the Hall of Faith) endured trouble and stepped out in faith when there appeared to be nothing under their feet but sailboat fuel. Reading the accounts of their lives in Scripture and imitating them, being challenged and inspired by them, is invaluable. Then, there are those more modern day witnesses, Heroes of the Faith, if you will: Martin Luther, Harriet Tubman, George Mueller, Jim Elliot, Joni Eareckson Tada. Or maybe you've got heroes in your midst --a pastor who never shuts off his phone; a friend who, though she experienced a shocking loss, has never ceased to keep her eyes fixed on the God she worships; a true prayer warrior (these people are more precious than gold!); the quiet little man who sits near you on the bus reading his worn and heavily marked Bible. Any of these may be the great cloud of witnesses, testifiers to the goodness and faithfulness of God in their lives. And they are essential resources in this race.
So, this is the lesson I'd like to leave you with: Steadfastness. There are days I remind myself continually, this is a process. I am not responsible for the outcome of this process; I am responsible for my obedience, to remain on the path toward which God has directed me. In order to do so, in His grace, He has supplied me with examples throughout history and, if I'm positioned where I need to be, examples around me. Additionally, I am blessed with the precious and powerful resource of prayer --mine lifted to our Savior at any time, day or night, and the intercessions of others who so graciously, so obediently bring our names before the throne of God. I have the wisdom of Scripture --thank God, in this country, in myriad formats --and the gift of the Holy Spirit who cares for me in many ways. I can remain steadfast because I am not alone, and I have everything I need to live the life God has called me to live. You can, too!
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