Put It Down

I hate this backpack! our youngest fumed. A ridiculous statement --he'd carefully picked it out himself -- but completely appropriate for a boy of his age. He'd dashed down the steps, his bag slung over one shoulder and dropped to his knees to put on his shoes. The backpack swung around and crashed to the floor, violently jerking his shoulder and landing right in the middle of what he was doing.

Put the backpack down, I urged. Tie your shoes and then pick up your school bag. 

I know, was his response as he kept the backpack exactly where it was and powered through what he was doing.

My mind immediately went to the burdens we carry, the feelings we have toward them, and the ways we foolishly try to circumvent them. 

I live with a burden every day. (I AM NOT a victim here, so please don't think that's what I'm saying.) Long ago, a situation I was unable to process or escape was part of my life. In response, I turned to a coping mechanism most people refer to as "an eating disorder." Did I turn to Jesus? No. Should I have? Absolutely, yes. At the time, however, I did not have the necessary information or resources to do otherwise. That is not the case today. I have a wonderful husband, family, friends, Christian counsel, and of course, Christ Himself to turn to when my thought life goes awry and gives rise to feelings of inadequacy, self-loathing, and loneliness. Put the backpack down. Instead, I power through. Before my first jar of coffee is empty in the morning (I keep Mason jars full of java in my fridge --Don't judge me) I've already come up with some new way or made some new commitment to control my eating. Only eat fruits and veggies today, or When temptation strikes, put on praise music, or I will set my alarm to pray on the hour throughout the day. Now, none of those things is a bad idea, but what happens when I break one of those commitments? Do I listen to the condemnation? I knew you couldn't do it. You have no self-control. You have failed God again. Why can't you just trust Him when you are triggered? This is idolatry, plain and simple. Again, not saying those things don't have a ring of truth to them. However, to follow after this path, to believe I can do nothing but follow this same way, is a lie. Put the backpack down. This eternal life is life lived through Christ in a cursed world. It's a process, a journey, but for those in Christ, we are not alone. We have a place to lay our burdens, nail-scarred hands open to take our backpack and lead the way.  

When I break those promises I've made to myself --easy to do when I've chosen to believe the lies the Accuser whispers into my soul --when I break those promises, I'm being given a second chance, a chance to change course and put my burden down. Should I have done it right from the beginning, chosen to eat a balanced meal rather than the bag of tortilla chips, or chosen to go for a pleasant walk rather than remain in my pjs for the day? Yes, but to walk the empty bag to the trash, or get out of my pjs at the end of the day just to put clean ones on, those things, like a swinging, crashing backpack, can be a signal to change course, to seek and receive the truth from my Father God. 

Romans 8:1 is a powerful verse I keep in my arsenal: There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. That doesn't mean we get it right all the time. In fact, it sort of indicates we won't; but when we falter, we seek forgiveness and we repent, knowing the truth. We don't continue carrying that backpack full of lies and trouble that will way us down and come crashing down right into the middle of the work we are to be doing for Jesus. We don't add to our misdeeds and assent to temptation by further wallowing in shame and condemnation, foolishly trying to "power through." If we are Christ's we are reborn of the Spirit, and we walk by His power and direction. If we are Christ's we have a Savior who bore our sins and continues to bear our burdens. Put the backpack down.