Living with the "No"

Two of my friends had just received bad news, devastating disappointments. God was not --at least right now --going to do what they had asked. They love Him. They go to church. They love and serve their families and are generous to those who need help. They do as He asks. Their plans were good plans; the things they wanted were in line with "good things" --maybe even in line with what they believe is God's plan. But God was telling them No.

We've heard it before. The Apostle Paul had a "thorn in his side" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10), something that was plaguing him --he says Satan was using it to buffet him: it was affecting his ability to serve the Lord. Surely God wouldn't want that! Paul prayed three times. From context, we can be fairly certain these requests were not lumped in with Would You send me a new pair of flip-flops? or Can You have someone check in on my cat until I get outta jail? I think when Paul said he prayed, he means he praaaaaayed! I think there was some fasting and some long-suffering going on there. I think Paul wanted something done about it --perhaps even felt as though he needed something done about it. And God said No. For someone as in love with Him as Paul? For someone who got as much done for the Kingdom as Paul? God said No. God's answer was that Paul was just going to have to rely on His grace; it was enough. And this thing, this testimony was for God's glory: His strength would be perfected through Paul's weakness. Paul makes his point in verse 10, saying:

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul has come to the knowledge, to the resolution that this is good --whatever this was. I can live with poor eyesight because...God. I can struggle financially because...God. I can face the temptation of porn because...God. I can love my rebellious child because...God. And in just a couple of verses we experience the victory. I take pleasure in infirmities...!

But what about that place just before the victory, just before the resolution? What about the No? Our nature rebels against it. The No is a place that can last years if we let it. A few verses or the time it takes to read them may not begin to cover what it takes to get to that place of knowledge, of resolution, of victory. And while living with the No can be difficult, living in the No can be even more so --a much easier choice, a more natural pursuit, but a much more unpleasant road. Living in the No means day after day I put myself at odds with the One who created me, who loves me, who knows what is best for me. It means I covet something He has placed off limits --at least for me, at least for now. It means I am choosing my plans, my goals, my entitlement over His plan for my eternity. Living in the No means my heart is set against God's refusal to give me what I want (How long before it is set against God altogether?); I measure God's lack of goodness to me against what I perceive to be His favor in the lives of others; I do not join others in whole-heartedly celebrating God's work in the world; my days are filled with searching for what I want, sorrow over my inability to procure it, and dissatisfaction with what I have been given. 

To live with the No requires a choice against human nature, the choice to accept God's sovereignty, His promises, His love. It requires a choice to be selfless, humble, and unentitled. It requires a choice to crucify the flesh and not put physical desires where desire for God should be. To live with the No requires a choice to see things as God sees --or, at least, pursue that --and to know He can do anything. To live with the No requires a choice to be changed rather than demand God changes things for us. To live with the No is to despise entitlement and embrace eternal life. Living with the No embraces just that --living. Yes, I have cancer, but at this moment I am alive and able to do something for the Kingdom. Yes, the bank just foreclosed on us, but at this moment we are alive and able to do something for the Kingdom. There may be times when we or those we love are faced with a No, but it's vital we choose not to live there. In fact, for believers, living in the No isn't really an option: our focus should never be ourselves. Our vision is as infinite as the God we serve, our message should always stand out from the rest of the world, and our hope is eternal. With Paul, let us celebrate the No as we live with it, not in it.