Has God Had Enough of My Schtick?

What can I have? 

Scott is trying to lose a few pounds. In the process, I've lost my temper. What do you mean? You just ate dinner?!

But I'm still hungry, he tells me. So, then I run through the options. After the first three or four sniffs or scrunches from him, I've developed a tone. I offer two more choices and I'm through. 

Do what you want.

I know he is trying to watch his diet. He has asked me to help him watch his diet. I have spent time preparing alternatives to junky food and shopping for snacks that might satisfy his sweet tooth without sending the scale rocketing out the window. And he resists. That's his schtick. He loves the attention. But it wears on me sometimes.

And sometimes I realize that's my schtick as well.

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

Alright, just let me do this one other thing.

"Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near." (Isaiah 55:6)

Can I pencil You in around two?

I cry out to God for healing and surrender my day to Him; I commit to seeking Him in quiet. And then I act stupid. That's really what it boils down to. I ask Him to hold me accountable and then I resist when He does. I want to be healed, but then I eat the stuff I know will cause my body to rebel. I ask Him to direct my schedule until His direction collides with my desires. I promise I will take the time to sit quietly in His presence but when faced with fulfilling that promise or checking off a box on my already overloaded ToDo List, I go to the list. I know what God requires and what brings Him glory; I know what will be best for me; I know what I said, but still... How does God not get fed up with me? Praise His merciful name, He continues to work in us!

Years ago, I transferred departments at work. That transfer was what it took to get me to quit smoking. It wasn't even intentional; I wasn't even trying to quit. But by His grace, God handled it. I wanted to do a good job and make a good impression, so I didn't dare step out for a smoke. I didn't know anyone and most of them didn't smoke, so there wasn't the "camaraderie" I had, smoking and chatting, as I did in the office prior. My smoking stopped. But I still gossiped; I still wasn't faithful in my daily devotions. It was only one thing. Other issues had to be taken care of in their time. 

There have been times when God has put His finger on things that I am unwilling to relinquish. Sometimes He has moved on. He is not worried because I refuse to change right now. He is not throwing His hands up in frustration, saying, "Fine! Do what you want!" He goes on to something else. A little easier for me. Less of a stronghold. He knows what He's doing. Other times He counters my resistance. "Something needs to change and it needs to change right now. You have no idea what's about to happen, but you need to be ready. This is how I'm getting you ready. No negotiation." And He will keep His finger on it until I give it up. 

I think most days I am more fed up with me than God could ever get. God loves His people with an everlasting love. He wants to do the heavy lifting, for it is when He works in us that He gets the glory. We can reveal our heart to Him again and again; we can come to Him day after day with things we know we need to get rid of. But God looks at our hearts and knows our flesh is weak. We can trust He's loosening our chains without losing His temper.