Are You In a Relationship?

Our neighbor's son stopped by for a visit yesterday. Such a tall, handsome young man he has grown to be! He has a family of his own, and they had just come from having his daughter's portrait taken to celebrate her second birthday. Despite the rolling of his eyes and the snarky way he rattled off the cost, he was so proud. It was written all over his face. The little boy who lived next door is now a loving husband and doting father. How silly it would have been for me to hand him a freeze pop and tell him to "sit right there on the step and eat it so he didn't get it all over his good clothes." I still see shadows of that little boy, but it would be wrong of me to ignore who he has become. The way I relate to him has to change, because he has changed.

There is an excellent online course, The Genesis Story: Reading Biblical Narratives with Dr. Justin A. Jackson (Hillsdale College offers free online courses). Dr. Jackson observes, the word "man" was not used until Adam identified Eve as "woman." 

"The man-person said, 'At last! This is bone from my bone and flesh from my flesh. She is to be called Woman [Hebrew: ishah], because she was taken out of Man [Hebrew: ish].'" (Genesis 2:23)

Until there was another, Adam was just a being --what sort of being, he did not necessarily know. When he was able to see himself reflected in the presence of another, he could put a name on it. When we look into the face of another, we might see affection or hope --or even the value of time as years pass too quickly-- but we also see ourselves. We can accurately assess ourselves through relationships with others. Did I show this person mercy? Am I merciful? Did I speak an encouraging word over this person? Can I be more of an encourager? Did I forgive? Do I need to be gracious? Relationship defines us.

Imagine that sweet little two-year old, squealing with delight as she runs across the yard, away from her father's arms. Her father chases and plays, encouraging her playfulness. Now imagine that same little child breaking free from her father's grip and heading toward a busy street. Her father would give chase, but this time with an urgency, a desire to protect a child who has no idea the peril she is in. It is in that relationship with her, based solely on her needs, that the father becomes the father God intended for him to be-- playmate or protector: the administrator of abandonment and joy, or the administrator of structure and boundaries.  

The earth was good, time was good, the creatures were good, natural law was good, human life was very good. What was not good was human life alone. Was Adam alone? He had God --what better relationship could there be? But, human beings are physical beings as well as spiritual beings; that's how God designed us to be. Therefore, we need the relationship of other physical beings to give our lives meaning. Not that those relationships are the meaning; not that our lives have no meaning absent those relationships, but it is through those relationships that our lives take on some sort of definition: mother, father, husband, wife, friend, servant, supervisor, pastor, benefactor, beneficiary. We reveal who we are by how we interact with others. Relationship is the springboard for becoming who God designed us to be. It begins with our relationship with Him, but it manifests itself when we look into the eyes of others and see them for who they are.