Law: A Sweet Reminder of God's Love

When our children are small, we try to teach them to do the right thing. Sometimes parents use the threat of "the police put people who break the law in jail," or "God is watching you." We make it about the law and the obeying of the law. And for very small children, that is a simple way for them to understand obedience; but as children mature and are better able to understand love and relationship, we (hopefully) expand those concepts to show obedience and respect are ways we demonstrate love and build relationship.

Recently, I was forced to uphold a law. The Dessert Law. Yes, you know it: no dessert until your plate is clean. Well, it wasn't quite the same law, but close enough. We had dinner guests -- lots and lots of guests -- and some of our family had decided to help themselves to dessert before some of our guests had even had dinner. The purpose of dinner that day was celebration, a celebration of unity and service. Satan in his insidious wile had targeted that very thing. "No. Just no." Some argued with me. A few even insinuated I was stingy or petty or -- and this almost caused me to lose it -- legalistic and un-Christlike. I was so taken aback by the willingness of my own family to manipulate me or make suggestions about my character -- all over some pudding, mind you -- that I couldn't even form an explanation. How quick they were to hurt me, use me, or disparage me! All I could do was stand there and repeat the law.

I disdain legalism. It reminds me of who I used to be. It reminds me of years wasted, trying to obey the law, or giving up and giving myself over to sin because I couldn't obey the law. It reminds me of feeling worthless and seeing myself as a complete failure. Legalism is law without love; legalism is replacing your worship of God with worship of law. And while, in my role of "Dessert Defender" I wasn't doing that at all, my inability to defend myself, my failure to explain the purpose of the law might have made it appear that way. "All I could do was stand there and repeat the law."

I never liked that "law for the sake of law" stage of parenting. I loved when my children were old enough that we could have discussions about laws and rules; I loved that there were times I could explain how much I loved them and sought, by the use of law, to keep them safe. But as I was ruminating and praying about the recent situation with my family, I came to see, this time the law was there to keep me safe. My heart was right; my intentions were biblical. Rather than cave to demand for fear of what others thought, or come back with judgment of my own, there was law. "No. Just no." 

I will have that moment when I can take family members aside privately and explain my reasons -- not in defense of myself, but in defense of the law. The law was put there for fairness and unity; the law was in place so no one felt left out or disregarded. The law is for the purpose of love -- for those forced to obey it and enforce it.