Worship Is God's Gift to Us

Years ago, my husband forgot my birthday. It was an incredibly busy season, we were both overwhelmed, and I really didn't care. 

Forgive me for forgetting your birthday. Let me make it up to you.

Can a birthday really be "made up for?" Those twenty-four hours have passed. To allow someone to celebrate you doesn't turn back the hands of time, alter the events of a birthday forgotten, or eradicate any insult. The permission one may grant to be honored or indulged shows grace to the offender. For me, the moment had passed, and I was fine with that. Scott's embarrassment had actually made it something of an endearing circumstance. His desire to make up for the oversight was his gift to me; creating opportunity for him to feel as though he could compensate for that was my gift to him.

I was reminded of this as I was reading Psalm 26 the other morning. Verses 1-2:

Vindicate me, O Lord,
For I have walked in my integrity.
I have also trusted in the Lord;
I shall not slip.

Examine me, O Lord, and prove me;
Try my mind and my heart. (NKJV)

Robert Alter, in his translation of this psalm renders it this way:

Judge me, O LORD,

For I have walked in my wholeness,

And the LORD I have trusted.

I shall not stumble.

Test me, O LORD, and try me.

Burn pure my conscience and my heart. (Alter)

Who is bold enough to say to the Lord, "Judge me. I have walked in the salvation, the wholeness, the righteousness You have obtained for me"? Who is strong enough to challenge Him, "Test me. I will pass muster"? Recall, this psalm was written before the Messiah came to us. The psalmist is standing on the basis of his active belief in a promised Redeemer, not yet come; a belief that is so certain, it compels him to obey the laws of God! The psalmist does not have the benefit of historical bloodshed as we do, but actively (proving his trust in a tangible manner) trusts God's word alone. The psalmist continues the list of evidences in verse 4 and 5 (NKJV):

I have not sat with idolatrous mortals,
Nor will I go in with hypocrites.
I have hated the assembly of evildoers,
And will not sit with the wicked.

And in verses 6 and 7, we see the condition necessary to even be permitted to worship our God: 

I will wash my hands in innocence;
So I will go about Your altar, O Lord,
That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving,
And tell of all Your wondrous works. (NKJV)

Alter renders these verses as follows:

Let me wash my palms in cleanness

and go round Your altar, LORD,

to utter aloud a thanksgiving

and to recount all Your wonders. (Alter)

In our legalistic, works-based, self-righteous frame of mind, we think --almost automatically, more by way of reflex --that when we fail, fall short, sin, that to fall on our faces, ask forgiveness, to passionately worship atones in some way for our sin. I'm reminded of monks and zealots flogging themselves. Don't we do the same, only with promises of better behavior, with tears, and with words of adoration? That by exchanging praise or good deeds for self-mutilation, we're somehow doing the more righteous thing? 

These verses tell us we are graciously given even the privilege of praising God. Let me, the Scripture says. Permit me. Our worship is no more our right, it is no more worthy to honor God, than our blood is to atone for our sin. It is only by the precious God-man blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that even our praises or our obedient acts become a fragrant offering to our King. It is all by God's mercy that anything is forgiven and by His grace our offerings are accepted. The restitution for our sin has been determined by the just One we offended and, by His tremendous grace, paid by Him as well. It is His grace that permits us to honor Him! Let me wash my palms and go round Your altar to thank You and worship You.

I have struggled greatly with missing the mark. Day after day of waking up, knowing I spent the day previous failing my Savior, and the words of my journals have reflected that. Page after page of regret and thought about how or where I went wrong, what I can do to make today better. In moments I was given each morning to focus on my Heavenly Father, I have been distracted by self-pity and logistics. And though, at some point, I moved away from those things and began spending that time in worship and true devotion, I see remnants of self-righteousness in the hallowing of the name of God; a self-imposed refusal to focus on sin or the efforts to curtail sin, merely exchanged for worship. But worship itself is a privilege. The doing of good things in response to God's nature is a privilege. As believers, we are made clean for the purpose of bearing our Savior's image, doing His will on earth as easily and eagerly as it is done in heaven, bringing His good news of reconciliation to others, and uttering aloud thanksgiving, recounting all His wonders that He might receive glory in all things. I cannot "make up for" my sin by weeping or working or, even, worshiping, for none of it is enough, but the privilege of it all is by His everlasting grace. Our Heavenly Father allows us the opportunity to adore Him, to feel that we are giving something to One who has given us so much, to experience the cleanness, wholeness, and rightness bestowed on us at the cross. Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!