One Word

In the last few moments of 2023, someone challenged, "Describe the year in one word." My immediate reaction was Huh? Not Huh? as in, I don't understand the assignment, but Huh? as in This year was one big surprise after another. Though that would be an accurate synopsis, I think that can be said of many years. Der Mentsch Tracht un Gott Lacht (Man plans and God laughs), a coworker used to tell me. Based on the stories a dear friend and I share constantly --moments we found ourselves red-faced or scrambling to rework things only to throw our hands up and exclaim, Okay, okay, You do it! --that can be said not only of multiple years, but by many of us. But if I spend some time really thinking about the events of the past year, the word I would use would have to be Relationship. 

Some of the relationships I was trying to maintain with people from my past simply, quietly and finally fizzled into nothingness. For someone who pushes herself to do and achieve, to share the Gospel with others (and often times stays too long at the ball, hoping to see the results) that was different. And it didn't mean those relationships needed to be gone in the sense they were dysfunctional or weak or immature, but life is motion, and with that comes relocation, the passage of time, new priorities --things that can alter how we do the relationships we are in and can signal the end of others. It doesn't mean we have failed, but it does mean we have let go and released things into the motion of life.

Some relationships were strengthened, some were restored, and some were given birth. Relationships meant for me joined the ebb and flow of my days --some sweetly and gradually, some with a huge, raucous celebration to announce their arrival. I fueled them and they fueled me. I focused on being intentional in those relationships --saying those things rather than feeling foolish about them, planning ways to get together as zealously as I planned those things "I have got to do" (Repeat after me, Relationships are important.), and not allowing my busyness to cause me to grumble Why is he calling me when he can just text?! (Remember when we used to talk on the phone?) 

My relationship with myself became more complicated. I continue to, like the Apostle Paul, wonder why I don't do the things I want to do, and I do the things I do not want to do. I procrastinate, I waste time, I get distracted from my purpose, I don't trust or pray or study or meditate or memorize the way I want. I long to be who God wants me to be and experience all He has for me, but I want to take it in pill form, to swallow it down with an eight-ounce glass of water (or Communion wine) and be. But, I suppose, that's where my relationship with Jesus is as pivotal as it is in my relationship with others. Those parts of me that are meant to be released, to simply, quietly and finally fizzle out, will do so as I continue to press on toward the mark. Those parts of me that will be given birth in the upcoming three hundred sixty-five days need to be evaluated and attended to in light of the One who created me and knows me. When I fail, when I don't live up to my expectations, I trust that my relationship with Jesus is paramount to any goal I have set, that He is calling me to be in communion with Him, and this is so not about me.

So, how would you describe your 2023 in one word? And what lessons were you given to take into 2024?