Buyer's Remorse

Buyer's remorse. I had a friend who, every time someone complained about some aspect of their life, he'd always chirp, "Buyer's remorse!" Haven't we all had it? Whether it's the $60 mascara that clumped and smeared, or the relationship we pursued (though we sort of knew was doomed from the start), or the gym membership we vowed we'd use, and did! (twice) --we've all invested money or time into things that didn't quite turn out as we wanted. Life in this world can leave us feeling a little betrayed. I didn't sign up for all of this. This is not the life I had planned. Where do I go for my refund?

In 1 Kings 18, we read how the prophet Elijah saw God do some pretty amazing things. First of all, God had Elijah go to King Ahab and pronounce His curse over the land --a drought. Three years in, God had Elijah present himself to the king again. Now, the king was none too happy about Elijah's first visit. In fact, he'd put a bounty on Elijah's head. But Elijah obeyed. The meeting resulted in a contest: Ahab's prophets of Baal against God's prophet Elijah. I suggest you read it for yourself, but I'll just give you the highlights: water, fire, mass execution, a teeny-tiny cloud, and a half-marathon. God made the impossible possible! Despite all of that, 1 Kings 19 tells us Elijah sat down under a broom tree and begged for death. The man God had mightily used was being hunted again, this time by the queen, and he was over it. Buyer's remorse.

Sometimes we have expectations. I remember when Scott and I started our business, our very first customer --someone we knew from a neighboring church --had hired us for a project. The work was completed, the customer voiced their approval and handed us the check. Days later (after paying our laborers) we were informed there had been a "Stop Payment" put on the check. Everything bounced. And we incurred the additional expense of an attorney as we tried to ascertain the reason for refusing to pay us, sought to make things right, and still tried to get paid for the work we had completed! As I prayed for days, I imagined what wonderful things God was going to do from this situation. Perhaps it was some mistake on their part, and we were going to learn a lesson on forgiveness. Perhaps there was something God was teaching them. Perhaps others would see the way Christian brothers and sisters handled disputes and would be moved to give God glory. Yay, God! Right? Well, it turned out, they didn't like the materials they had chosen, and we got paid. Case closed. Why, God? Right? To my knowledge, the outcome did not fit my expectations.

And that's sort of where Elijah was at this point. God had done all of this great stuff, for what? Nothing had changed. He'd gone from zero to hero and back to zero again. What was the use? Well, here we are, thousands of years later, assured there is nothing new under the sun. As human beings, we still try to anticipate God's plan. It brings us comfort to think we have some grasp on the unknown. It's hard to trust. As human beings, we still base our worth around our circumstances. If I haven't accomplished anything or if my relationship has failed or if I don't do well up against the others to whom I compare myself, I might as well lie down and die. As human beings, we still think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Romans 12:3 says Get over yourself! See yourself through the lens of truth --God's Word (translation mine).

Anticipating what God is doing is a huge waste of time. It's going to be bigger. It's going to be better. If we know Him, we know that. It may leave us with warm fuzzies or the illusion of control, but it will also cause us to be short-sighted so that all we are able to see is what we are willing to see. Our circumstances don't determine our worth; God does, and the Scriptures are where we should be going for those warm fuzzies on that issue. If we are children of the King, it is our pleasure and privilege to do all we can to bring Him glory. He is not some narcissistic dictator; He is not looking for sycophants or lackies. He is the Lord God, Creator of the universe, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin; He is worthy and He is just. And we are not. But He loves us anyway. Loves us!

Shortly after Elijah's date with despair, God came to him in a very real, very tender way. He sent an angel to minister to the prophet. He also introduced Elijah to his new assistant and successor. God understands our weakness. He tells us through the psalmist that He remembers we are dust. And while we may find ourselves dealing with more than we can handle, He will never leave us or forsake us in it. We can do whatever He requires of us in His strength. And be completely satisfied in His purchase!