Because Truth Needs to Be Told

Just a warning, I'm going to be pretty upfront with you on this one. Things need to be said and said clearly. 

I was in my early twenties when I had a "homosexual encounter." Nothing more than a kiss, but I didn't like it. (I give great thanks to God for my parents who took me to church every Sunday from the time I could walk and sent me to Christian school. Were it not for that foundation... "Right and wrong" were so deeply ingrained in me, I couldn't even think of enjoying it.) But, I was a prime target. I had always felt as though I didn't belong in girl world: thicker and flatter than the others, not skilled in the art of hair and make-up or petty but refined verbal jabs (I didn't even catch them when they were thrown my way), not beautiful or delicate, eager to play trucks or make mud pies as much as Barbies, poor and dirty and ashamed of the dark secret I carried. I felt more comfortable "being a boy" than I ever felt in a dress. Standing next to my girl friends, I felt like an ape --for years! So many times I wondered how much God really disliked me that, in addition to difficult circumstances, He would give me a body so out of line with every other girl in creation. I felt alone.

I'd like you to just press the Pause button for a few seconds, go back to that first paragraph and count the number of times I used the word "felt." Honestly, that was not intentional on my part. It was, however, the truth. All of that stuff was based on feeling. Now, I'm not saying feelings don't matter --they surely do, God gave them to us to help us in our relationships and to keep us safe-- but feelings are not always in line with truth. We stand on the truth as we give consideration to our feelings. And the truth is God designed me to be female; He formed me in my mother's womb as a female; I have everything a female has, biologically. I am female. My feelings, though they existed, though they may have been quite understandable, they contradicted reality, truth. And it took years before I felt the slightest bit comfortable in my skin, before I ever felt feminine or pretty, before I stopped comparing myself to the shapely, delicate women around me, before I stopped taking on every unkind word and rejection as a commentary on my womanhood (or lack thereof), before I stopped seeking affirmation for my identity in others and began seeking it from the One who loves me and created me for His glory. (Part of that journey includes my husband, who walked beside me as I learned to see myself through his eyes, the eyes of another one who loves me. Pretty cool how God did that, huh?) Through all of this, I developed a fascination with --not attraction to-- the "perfect" female body. I was seeking out pornography in my teens. To be desired; to be sexy like those women. With a simple interest in sexuality and only publisher after publisher eager to sell me a broken and perverse sexuality, came an onslaught of images endorsing homosexuality. As I fell further down the rabbit hole of my feelings, the more likely it seemed I had been the victim of some cruel joke: a male with female parts. When a real live female came along who was not only willing to affirm my feelings, but eager to encourage me to follow them, I bit. But --and once again-- because I knew truth and because, praise God, even as I walked in rebellion, He preserved me, the bait was bitter to me. 

I tell you my story because I wonder how many of your stories began with feelings that simply do not align with truth. Feelings are much easier to follow; truth is usually hard. I tell you my story because I want you to see how easily --without truth-- I could have fallen into that trap, as I believe many have and are now still falling. If you don't believe me, Google "how gabapentin works" or "how game of thrones ended." Before you get any farther than "how g-a" you've already got suggestions like "how gay am I" or "how gay is my dog" (seriously?). Google "am I traumatized." You'd think that was a pretty heavily searched topic, right? #3 after "am I trans" and "am I transgender." Click on "am I trans," and the first site is the always helpful Planned Parenthood telling you You're transgender (or trans) if your gender identity is different from the sex the doctor assigned you at birth. For example, you may be transgender if you were assigned male at birth and know you're a woman. So much wrong with those statements, there's enough for another day, but that's how easy it is to be told what you are feeling or what you decide is more important than what is true.

How easily and how quickly through the worldwide web could I have been convinced all those years ago! How easily and how quickly my fascination, my longing for could have become an attraction had I not been given the foundation of truth in my younger years! How easily and how quickly I became a target for a "gay rights activist" without the help of the media and even before there were gay rights! How is it you think you or those around you or, especially, your children stand a chance in this battle without the Truth of Jesus Christ? Truth, Ladies and Gentlemen. Truth alone is our foundation. Truth alone is the light on our path. Truth alone is Who we follow after. Truth alone is the message we need to give to those we love.