Oh, to Be Right Again!

Who doesn't want to be right? We all want to believe we're right about something. But what about being right with someone? Perhaps you said some things you shouldn't and your neighbor is giving you the silent treatment. That four-foot fence between your properties feels twenty-feet tall. Maybe your spouse has told you she wants a divorce. You'd give anything for life to be the way it used to be, back when things were right between you. 

In 2 Kings 4:8-37, we read of a woman who had, with her husband, been faithful with their money, their time, and their space to serve the Lord by hosting His prophet, Elisha. And Elisha, grateful for their hospitality, asks what he can do to bless them. When she gives him the "nothing comes to mind" answer, Elisha tells her that within a year, she will have a child. Judging by her response, I'd say that childlessness was something she'd learn to accept a long time ago: Don't get my hopes up, one translation renders it. Sure enough, a year later, her son was born, and just a few years after that he and his father had one of the first recorded "Take Your Child to Work" days. Sadly, though, it was on that day the son fell extremely ill and collapsed in the field. He died later that day in his mother's arms. But she was a woman of action. She asked her husband for a donkey and a driver, saddled up the donkey herself, apparently, and told the driver to step on it; they were headed to see the prophet about a-- a what? a resurrection? Perhaps. To give him a piece of her mind for having brought her such joy only to have God take it away? Perhaps that, too. Perhaps both and so much more. We're only told the woman said one thing to Elisha: Did I ask my lord for a son? Didn’t I say not to deceive me? In that I hear, "I didn't ask for a blessing. I didn't ask for joy. But you said I should have it, and I believed it could be forever; I was invested. And now, here I am, childless, in pain, and angry with God, hurt and confused. You came along, stirring up all these feelings, calling down a delight like I'd never known, and God heard you! He gave me a son, only to take him away before he was able to be a man. And I am left, once again, with all of this conflict, with all of this discord. I am left fighting with God, and I just want to be right again." I hear it because I've said it, or something very similar.

A few years ago, God allowed something in my life that took me to a place I'd never been before: a place of such darkness and despair, a place that, had it not been for the Lord, had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13)-- well, let's just say, I don't want to know what that would have looked like. I wanted my life back. I wanted the sands of time to slip up through the narrow opening of the hour glass, for the events that spun our lives so out of control to completely reverse themselves and restore to us everything that had been taken; I wanted the memories to live and breathe again. But a strange thing happened as I cried out to God on that very first day. I realized the thing I wanted more than any of that was for things to be right, with Him. I wanted to like Him, again. I wanted to believe in my heart of hearts that He was good, again. I wanted to-- if I couldn't understand, at least --accept His plans, again. I wanted to want to rejoice in our relationship, again. I wanted to approach Him with humility and gratitude, again.

The next verse in Psalm 27 says, Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord! So, I did. I do. I will. Praying, worshipping, reading His words, counting my countless blessings, repenting, obeying, redirecting my pain and pity toward ministering to others, walking and breathing-- both literally and figuratively. And He has made things more than right. He is faithful to answer when we come to Him in our pain and our imperfection, seeking to be made whole and seeking to be made right with Him. Our situations may not become the sort of "right" we have in mind, but when we put them-- when we put ourselves in the hands of the God who made us, trusting that He is good and loves us more than we love ourselves, He will restore our fealty to Him and trust in Him; He will make the relationship right.