A Marriage Made in Heaven

How many times have you read the words, "Do not fear," in God's Word? "Be strong and courageous!" Does that make you strong and courageous? Do you immediately cease to fear? Maybe until the next wave comes in or the next clap of thunder, but I'm going to bet that simply reading those words doesn't necessarily send the terror packing. God demonstrates He is willing and able to back that up. He brings peace and boldness; He stops the raging storm so we catch a breath; He shows us by being there for us in all sorts of circumstances that He means what He says. As we gain experience in the faithfulness of God, those words allow us to recall God's provision behind them and we resist the panic. Words are great, but they are nothing without undertaking.

With two adult daughters in our home, a little ribbing can go too far. Sometimes Scott can feel a little tormented and a lot outnumbered. We're girls, we're verbal, and, truthfully, any man would be outclassed. That's why God told me it was so important for me to watch my words. My goal as Scott's wife needs to be to encourage and affirm. I need to speak in ways that fill him with confidence in the Lord. I need to do all I can to help him leave the house each day believing he can do anything God calls him to do. I need to speak in a way that attests to his position as head of household, as our godly authority set in place for God's purposes; I need to do all I can to help him return home each evening believing he did a great job that day and that all his hard work is appreciated. It is my privilege to solidify good truths in his spirit and help him become the best person he can be. Words are important.

But words alone will probably never do that. I can't simply send him a text telling him how wonderful he is or greet him at the door with a "Thank you," each day if I never show him physical affection. My words will never hit their mark if I spend day after day watching the Hallmark channel, mope and schlump around, throw a takeout menu at him, head out with the girls, and disparage him at every opportunity. I have to back up what I'm saying with what I'm doing. As his "helpmeet" it is on me to verbally and actively help him walk through this life as a man of God. And, of course, I want to because I love him. Choosing words to encourage and affirm him causes me to dwell on the reasons I married him, the great things I see in him, how much he means to me, and all he does for me. Those words have an impact on him, but they impact me also, moving me toward better ways to back them up with action!

Marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship with the Church (the Bride), God's people. It requires work. I am retraining my brain-- and my mouth! --in order to be a better bride to my groom. There is a conscious effort on my behalf to help our relationship improve and intensify. As my behavior changes, Scott responds. He demonstrates gratitude. He ups his game. He might even give correction or guidance in pleasing him, like telling me, "I appreciate all the bacon, but I'm getting a little fluffy and would just prefer a salad for dinner." (No, he would never tell me that, but I can dream, can't I?) Our relationship deepens and grows. Just like the Groom and His Bride, the Church. His people work toward becoming better at our role as His Beloved and God responds. There's relationship there. We draw near to Him and He draws near to us. His Spirit comes alongside us, helping us and guiding us into being a better Bride. There's no "you're saved now, have at it." He backs up what He says; He walks it out. And we need to do that as well. As in any relationship, particularly marriage, there is better and there is worse. God has promised He will be there for all of it, and His faithfulness confirms that. As long as we both shall live.